School Bullying, Should I do half days for my son?

I was asked this question by a Mother of an austistic child. Please offer your advice to her...--->>>
I would like to ask a question if I may? I have a 9 year old son who was diagnosed with asperger's at age 8 this past April.

He is having serious behavior issues due to mean kids at school....and after months of serious thinking, Ive decided do have him do half days at school, skipping lunch and lunch recess, going with me, to work one on one.

Im coming across LOTS of people within the school that want to change my mind, going as far as to suggest me medicating him as a 'possibility'.

I have a younger son with Autism and ADHD-and I was told to medicate him for better results as well. I never did, I just put in more work and he has been soaring and surprising everyone.

My question is--in your opinion, do you see school being cut to half days, as a positive or negative thing for Asperger children, who are severely stressed due to peer pressure...and not being able to get past 'looks' or words....and his academics are not where they CAN be as a result.

As with all people, everyone is an individual and this includes Aspies. So to begin with, your son's AS will present uniquely within the realm of his strengths, challenges, environment, influences, and most definitely stimuli.

I have made it a habit to initially set my son's AS aside and ask myself, "How does this situation directly influence my son as an individual?" (NOT HIS ASPERGERS) --- When I arrive at that answer, I then ask myself, "How does this situation influence his Aspie strengths, challenges, and gifts?"

Most educators mean well; however, a parent who is attuned with their child will always be the best advocate for their child's well being. If you believe that your son will benefit from half days then you would be a miss to not stand by your decision.

My son's Asperger Specialist/Psychologist states that many children with varying diversities flourish with adjusted schedules such as half days (not only aspie youth). That is why many Focus Schools are now being offered throughout our communities as half day programs at the junior high & high school level. (again, for a wide variety of students - not just Aspies).

Aspergers is unique in as much as it presents within each of us as individualistic as a finger print. I have also found that being respectful & appreciative for the input from our children's educators goes a long, long, long way. When they observe parents taking their advice into consideration then they oftentimes take our ultimate decisions more seriously.

Also, you can always reason with your son's school by letting them know that you have an open mind and will start by trying the half days first, and if that does not have the desired affect, you will then be happy to revisit their various suggestions.

The Best Of Luck To You & Your Son!

Many of the individuals I work with who are on the Spectrum can only handle about 3-4 hours of a work day. A co-worker recently asked me why I was "coddling" one individual I was working with. I wasn't quite sure what she meant, most job development we do for folks with disabilities or differences is in the part-time range, that's what they are comfortable with. She stated that this individual is higher-functioning (god I hate terms like that) than others we work with. I asked her what was the difference between sensory challenges and physical challenges and for that matter, mental health challenges when it came down to what the individual's preferences were. The point is success, not differentiation or "expectations".

I like Sharon's statement:

"How does this situation directly influence my son as an individual?" (NOT HIS ASPERGERS) --- When I arrive at that answer, I then ask myself, "How does this situation influence his Aspie strengths, challenges, and gifts?"

It sums up my long-winded explanation of what success takes. Fair is not everyone getting the same thing, fair is everyone getting what they need. Period, the end.

I would be interested in getting an update on what your experience was and if you did go to half days. I ended up pulling my child out of the school entirely after problems with bullying, and he has still not overcome some of the other issues the school messed with (that had not at first been obvious) two years later!!!

Thanks.

Jane (new here)

Jane - what are some of the challenges your son is still experiencing? My son went through horrific bullying a few yrs ago in middle school, and he still has residual emotional fallout from it all. His therapist continues to work with him weekly on these issues.

my experience and thoughts.

1) most school systems will not handle bullying appropriately.

2) all instances of bullying should be documented, recorded if possible as should all attempts with parents, children and school administrators to address it.

3) all instances of bullying should be reported (each time) to the local police with as much information (including the things in 2) as possible.

4) the child should be empowered and educated in all manners that they have rights and have avenues to address them.

*Bullying is a crime and should not be treated as less than such. Whether a child has Autism, AS, diabetes, or just has "bad hair", no bullying should be tolerated.

I guess I am sort of saying, instead of changing the environment for your child - change the environment WITH your child, utilizing every form of empowerment you can think of!!!!!

I know it's hard but it teaches them not to be victims.

Lezlee, I am finding NT parents with aspie or autie children who feel they need to bully as advocates ... I am not liking what I am seeing today how some NT parents are handling their parenting roles with their aspie and autie children.

this one's odd for me... I got picked on/bullied a lot as a child, but I never took it seriously.

My mom, who I respect for very few things, did do me a great service here... she taught me from a very young age that anyone picking on me was just trying to compensate for something in their own life... so that boy who kept calling me fat? might have drunk parents that never feed him proper meals. That girl trying to pull up my mini skirt? might have an abusive step father.

I'm sure this doesn't work when dealing with things like getting beat up, but it sure made it easier when dealing with the verbal stuff. I used to just say a quick prayer every time someone picked on me, eventually the bullies gave up because I wasn't giving the kind of reaction they were looking for.