i have always had incredible tenacity when i am determined to do something; not so much when it's something i don't care about. i love your nickname for you daughter and i understand. i flapped on and off throughout my life, but usually under stress. it sounds like you have a wonderful, wonderful daughter there.. be patient, take in all her unique differences and thank your lucky stars you didn't get a stepford child, or at least, that's my take.
i have two daughters myself who have not been diagnosed but have some AS characteristics.
my oldest is 23 and evidenced some developmental delay in gross motor functions as a baby. she never smiled and the only person who could make her laugh was her brother (an aspie) who would run and jump over her. we felt so silly making faces at her just to have her look at us like we were stupid.
all she seems to care about was eating and sleeping and did both - a lot. she was slow in almost everything she did and we used to call her our little old woman. she was extremely emotional, falling apart at the slightest hint of displeasure. her favorite sentence was "you hurt my heart". she had more love for animals than people and she had an extreme (still does) tactile sensitivity. i cannot tell you how many shoes we had to put back on after she kicked them off because the lines were not straight or it didn't feel just right. she had a blanket that she would rub against her face and if lost, we had to replace it with the same material. we would go down the isles of the fabric store until she found one that felt right. she sniffed all her food before she ate it and she had a very loud voice. she was/is small for her age and has always suffered from motivation problems but not from talent. she does not like hugs or touches that are sudden, unexpected or unwanted. i love her uniqueness and am interested to know if she is indeed on the spectrum or just unique. either way, i'm very proud of her.
my youngest daughter just turned 12. she never responded to emotional verbiage from me or others but seemed to respond more to logical thinking. her favorite question, like mine, is why. she has always been neat and almost ocd about various things in her room (like her shoes) but not everything. she is the kind of child that will spend 2 hours straightening her hair and then go to school with toothpaste in it. she debates everything anyone says to her
she has always needed structure and takes everything literally. even now, if you want her to do something you must tell her every step and detail because it seems she cannot deduce herself the missing ones. she shows ADD behaviors (as does daughter 1) in area of concentration and memory. she has a hard time making and keeping friends, tending to be bossy and blurt out whatever is in her mind. she was recently diagnosed with type 1 diabetes. she can't sleep on cotton sheets because they "hurt"' ' in fact, anything scratchy or hard seems to hurt her. she has a low threshold of pain for some things and a high one for others. her hygiene has a lot to be desired; many days she will lie about taking a bath or brushing her teeth and just sit in the bathroom reading or doing nothing which is strange considering her obsession with her appearance. although not very social, she is very dramatic and does well in theatre. she goes in to the psychiatrist in about a month for a re-evaluation. she was evaluated as cyclothymic (pre-bipolar) 4 years ago but since then we have gotten a clearer picture. she's my little lady - mature for her age and like my older daughter - i love her to death.
i forgot to mention that both girls have IQ in the superior to very superior range, no trouble with schoolwork but no special ability that stands out. my AS son, on the other hand has genius level IQ and is a musical (mathmatical,coding,etc) savant. I fall somewhere between the girls and the boys.
sorry this was so long!
the 16 mo old
