The Return Of The Post A Funny Quote Topic!

[Xandor Tik'Roth]

A collection of some of the greatest things you should know about Chuck Norris...

"Children go to bed in Superman pajamas, while Superman goes to bed in Chuck Norris pajamas."

"Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door."

"Chuck Norris is the reason Waldo is hiding!"

"When Chuck Norris jumps into water, he doesn't get wet. Water gets Chuck Norris."

"Chuck Norris can win a game of connect four in just 3 moves"

"Jesus can walk on water, but Chuck Norris can swim through dry land."

"chuck norris doesn't need a watch he just decides what time it is"

"Chuck Norris doesn't read. He stares at the book and the book gives him information."

"Chuck Norris doesn't sleep, he waits."

"When Chuck Norris went to the Virgin Islands and came back, it was just called the Islands."

"Giraffes were created when Chuck Norris uppercutted a horse."

"There is no such thing as evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live."

"Chuck Norris is able to divide by zero"

"Chuck Norris counted to infinity ... Twice"

"Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his parents."

"When Chuck Norris has sex with a man, it is not because he is gay, it is because he ran out of women."

"Chuck Norris doesn't teabag women, he potato sacks them."

"chuck norris ist hung like a horse, a horse is hung like chuck norris."

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And these are a few of the best new ones IMO -- with the name of the poster:

"Chuck Norris knows Victoria's Secret.

Chuck Norris has the best poker face. He won the 1983 World Poker Tournament, using a hand containing a ticket stub, Monopoly money, a 2 of Clubs, a 5 of Hearts, and a Green #4 card from Uno.

Chuck Norris leaves messages BEFORE the beep." 2Fast4U0921

"Einstein's original Theory of Relativity was; if Chuck Norris kicks you, your relatives will feel it." pederabito

"when you search chuck norris on google and spell his name wrong, it doesn't say 'did you mean chuck norris', it says 'run while you have the chance.'" seel5

"geico saved 15% by switching to chuck norris" 08chize08

"Chuck Norris was originally cast as the main character in 24, but was replaced by the producers when he managed to kill every terrorist and save the day in 12 minutes and 37 seconds." connortimoti

"When Chuck Norris plays Monopoly, it affects the actual world economy." solitaryman098

"Chuck norris died 2 years ago but death fears to say it to him" janek585

"chuck norris's calendar jumps from March 31st to April 2nd....because nobody fools chuck Norris" s0nicb00m83

"Godzilla is a Japanese rendition of Chuck Norris' first visit to Tokyo" paulwallrivera

"Chuck Norris can beat rock with scissors." jusmart

"Chuck Norris has caught all Pokémon!"
unknownsoldier37

"Chuck Norris once broke into a convent and had sex with all the nuns. 9 month later, they gave birth to the 1972 Miami Dolphins, the only undefeated team in NFL history." schroemw

[Yellowvanblake]

My favorite is 'Chuck Norris has caught all pokemon!' that's great.