Rory had a pad and pen with him as he sat on a bench in the middle of Griffith Park. The sun beat down on him as he began to write all of his thoughts...
Page 1
I can’t believe I’m actually writing any of this down, but this city just doesn’t have enough fresh air for me to clear my head. I miss Finn, I could have talked to him, he would have understood even if he knew nothing about being a Garou. I miss home, Ireland was easier…the Sept of the Red Hill was easier. I knew who all the Garou were, I knew who all the kinfolk and humans were in town. Not here. This place has too many humans. Too many damned threats everywhere I look. I can’t even walk in the Umbra without feeling the Weaver trying to suffocate the life out of this entire land. It’s just too much.
Ever since I came here I’ve been trying to just focus on finding my family and trying to avoid thinking about how insane this place is. If I walk into the same bar twice I can’t find a single person I recognize, there’s too many. And now the worst has happened. FUCKING MAE! That damned bitch should have told me she was Garou! It’s no secret that I am. I wear my fucking tribe markings all over, my scars are readily fucking VISIBLE! She was just too damned high to notice…and we almost…we almost fucked, I’ll kill myself before I father a Metis. Those bastards are traitors from birth, they should all just be killed before their born. But no, thanks to those damned hippy tribes their accepted.
I can’t take this city, I just want to destroy the entire fucking place. Just shift into crinos in the biggest, most crowded part of this entire fucking city and tear it all apart and not stop until I can’t even move anymore. Not stop until entire city, all of the weaver’s webs lie tattered and in ruins. It’s the damned Urrah’s fault. If it wasn’t for them, the followers of Cockaroach and all of them allowing it, if they did their damned jobs and destroyed cities like this before they ever got built we’d be winning.
…And of course Mae’s a fucking Urrah. Only the damned Glass Walkers could ever pass for humans so well. Their hardly even Garou anymore, Mae’s living fucking proof of that. They’ve no understanding of what it really means to be Garou anymore. The entire fucking tribe is an embarassment for the rest of us in the Garou nation, it’s just a good thing there’s no more significant amounts of other non-Garou shifters to see them.
I just don’t know what to do anymore. I see now why there’s so few Fianna in this city. It’s too damned hard to be a Fianna here. There’s too many people here who could all be Garou and with the Urrah, you’d never even know it. Mae proved that much to me. I know we didn’t sleep together, I know I didn’t fuck her But I don’t know if what did happen…what little did happen broke the litany anyways or not. I wish Songs-of-Truth was here. She’d know what I should do. I just can’t figure it out. That’s why I’m even writing this down.
How can I be a Fianna and live in this city? How can I celebrate life and not run the risk of breaking the litany every fucking time? How can I make it work? How can I stay here if I can’t answer these fucking questions? Who can I even ask?
**This page was burned shortly after being written**
Again Rory was sat on a bench in Griffith Park, a pad and pen in hand. The sun wasn’t out now though as he began to write…
Page 2
Writing down Page 1 helped to clear my head…it was possibly the only thing that I’ve done since coming here to really help do that. So I’m going to continue this…maybe it’ll give me the answers I need.
I came to a realization yesterday, shortly after I wrote out that first page. I can’t live how I’ve been living since I got here…at first, I think I was amazed to see so many people I didn’t know and more and more of them being new…so many women. It’s always been easy for me to bed different women….ever since - DAMNIT! I can’t even remember her name anymore. I can’t keep this up. Not if I’m going to stay in this city for much longer. I can’t keep sleeping with different women every night, not in this city where there’s too many Garou and Kinfolk around, Mae showed me that much.
I don’t know what to do to change that though. I need someone to talk to, someone who understands, who I can confide in. Who the hell does though? In this fucking city that’s got so many Garou and yet so few real Garou. The Urrah wouldn’t get it. Can’t believe I’m actually thinking this but I need a half moon, someone I can trust. They would have some advice - maybe, I hope.
**This page was burned shortly after being written**
