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[Xirikar]

It had been darker skies but he and Azk had chosen to stray from their lands. Rain would most likely come Xiri had thought. Boy was he right and now he was out in the unclaimed soaked. He sighed as he padded across the orchard. It stunk he was wet bet it was much funnier to see the fox wet cause he hated the rain.

He was kinda home sick actually he'd only been there a week and not being with his mate or in his lands made him feel empty. Lightning flashed across the sky as Xiri watched it. Azk jumped as thunder boomed, Xirikar laughed. "Aww scared are we?

[Ceres]

The golden fem bounded through the orchard, vaulting herself of trees, running in circles, laughing and smiling all the while. Since she'd met Xirikar, her spirits had lifted and she'd allowed herself to be free of the guilt that had haunted her and the fear that held her captive. She ran, spreading her blackened wings out wide. She took off into the rainy sky, and scanned the grounds below. It was hard to see through the dark atmosphere and the grey fog. The rain soaked her to the bone, but it was cool and felt good.

Xirikar hadn't been around the packlands, which was odd. She missed him, so had decided to go off in search of her beloved mate. Her ocean eyes spotted his fiery figure. She smiled and dove down, laughing. "Why so scare lately!?" she asked, happy tone. she landed, tumbling to a halt next to him. She jumped up and licked him affectionately. "Hi Xirikar. Where have you been? I have important news. Lately I've had strange urges to organize, protect and build things. I think we're going to be parents, Xiri." she said gently, smile broad and eyes sparkling.

Her heart was full, knowing that she would soon be a mother, with a family. She had a wonderful, loving mate and a home and pack. Her life couldn't be better.

[Xirikar]

Azk turned to look at the female he still didn't enjoy her being with them it bugged the little fox. He looked to Xirikar who had quite a look on his face. He wondered what was going on in the wolfs mind.

Xirikar looked at her. "Pa..." He shook his head. sitting down. he he couldn't be a father yet he wasn't ready to be a father yet. He looked at the ground it seemed like the earth was spinning to fast like if he stood up he was going to fall off the earth.

"I Ceres I we theres still no members to the pack. who will take care of the pups? Who will help us hunt I I'm not. We can't I'm so.." Xirikar couldn't form thoughts couldn't think strait and everything seemed to be babble.

Azk chuckled Xirikar wasn't a fathering type Ceres was a fool and put them together and you get a bubbly babbling mega fool. The fox looked at Ceres. "You really think this guy could be a father?" He asked. "He can hardly think let a alone father pups."

[Ceres]

Ceres looked to Azk. She shared a mutual dislike for him. Well, she could put up with him. She loved Xirikar and he was Xirikar's friend. Her smile faded as Xirikar tried to make out the new word, as if he'd never said it. Maybe...he didn't want this. Maybe she should have waited. 'Oh no...what have I done? He didn't want a family...will he ever?' she asked herself.

"I Ceres I we theres still no members to the pack. who will take care of the pups? Who will help us hunt I I'm not. We can't I'm so.." he said. Her ears fell, and she cast her eyes down. "Xirikar....it's not something we can decide to do. I gave you everything...you have to take what comes with it..." she said, feeling slightly hurt. "I love you, and I love them. I will take care of them...it's my job. I will be just as helpful for a while. It won't be for some time that I start getting weak..." she said.

She then turned to Azk with a glare. "Sometimes I get sick of you, Azk. Don't tell him what he can and cannot do. Despite the fact that he might not be ready, I think he'll make a great father. Why don't you work on getting yourself a heart. Spirit guides are supposed to have one." she said vehemently, out of her usual kind self. Her eyes were hot with tears of sorrow and confusion. She loved Xirikar...but she hoped he would love their children to come. She folded her black wings against her body as the rain poured.

[Xirikar]

"My heart is beating quite fine thank you." Azk said as he looked at her. She was rather mean at times wasn't she. It didn't bother him none at all. "Xirikar just think you could kill the little devils if you honestly didn't want them. you could kill them right now too though Ceres would die as well." The fox said grinning

Xirikar looked at him. "Thats a horrid answer to this situation. I'm no murder of my own children." He said his tone harsh as he focused on the fox. He looked to Ceres as he took in a deep breath he reached forward just to touch her just to apologize.

"I know I have to accept whats happening its just I wasn't quite ready for this shocking news." He said as he licked her cheek. "YOu tell me if your in pain or anything I will be there to help." He said nuzzling her. He had to do something he had no choice now.

[Ceres]

Ceres shot a glare to Azk. She rarely got angry but Azk was the type that brought out the worst in her. "I can honestly say I wouldn't be one bit dissapointed if I never saw you again, you horrid creature. You're heartless and cruel and your opinions are as cultured as...as...you are. Be gone so I can talk to Xirikar." she demanded. Xirikar no longer had her pendant so she felt no obligation to show Azk any sort of respect. His comment of killing them off was horrible and she fought back tears, trying not to let him see her sorrow. He'd just use it against her.

She turned back to Xirikar with a sigh, thoughts still in the back of her head of somehow ridding herself of the annoying little fox. "I understand...it just wasn't the response I was looking for, I suppose. I'm glad you're willing to accept it and I'm sorry I got so touchy...and I would never keep that from you. If I ever need anything I'll come to you first. You know that. Who else would I go to? Azk?" she said, giving him another disdainful glance. She forced a small smile, and nuzzled him before turning her eyes to the ground. "I'm heading back to Cheveyo soon. Join me when you feel ready..." she said softly and turned back toward the Cheveyo lands.

[Xirikar]

"Ceres don't just walk away from me." He said his tone a bit deep. He could here the light snickering of Azk. Was the little fox right was all this just going to be a burden? No no it wasn't he was going to make this work.

He padded over to Ceres "Don't you dare walk away we weren't done talking." He snapped he had a tenancy to even get a bit frustrated with her. He didn't know whay cause half the time he was begging just to be near her. But she had just started walking off what was she thinking.

[Ceres]

Ceres' ears flattened to her head. Having him dissapointed at her was like a stab to the heart. It was something she never liked and never would. She whined and licked his maw, in a sort of affectionate apology. His words were cold and scolding. She looked at him, then cast her eyes down. "That isn't what I meant to do. I thought maybe you'd want time alone but I wasn't really done talking either..." she said softly. She walked over and sat next to him, then heard Azk snicker. She looked at him with a glare.

Ceres stood up and looked at Azk. "This is a wolf conversation. No evil little minions allowed." she said sarcastically and ran toward him. She wouldn't ever dream of hurting him, but hoped for him to run off. She hoped Xiri new she'd never harm his friend. She bared her teeth and hoped he'd flee.

[Xirikar]

So she was coming at him. two things went through his mind first was oh she wont hurt me second was oh crap shes still coming at me. Azk took off darting into a hole at the bottom of a tree. He wasn't an idiot, she could possibly harm him.

Xirikar looked at her "Ceres why did you come all the way out here to tell me that?" He asked his tone lightening a bit. "I don't think I'm ready for this. Heck I know I'm not ready for this. I may be four but I'm about as good as this rock at being a father." He said looking at her.

[Ceres]

Yes. He left. Now she could talk to Xirikar alone. She turned back to him and listened intently to what he had to say. He kept saying he wasn't ready...but what did that mean? She couldn't do it by herself, but there was no other choice. Her eyes gained a sorrowed sort of look. She sighed not knowing exactly what to say. She nuzzled him and looked down.

"Xirikar...I think it's the nature of living creatures to be a better father than a rock. You'll be fine. Besides, pups don't just appear. You'll have time to get used to the idea. And if you can't, then just be my mate for now. Love me...and get used to loving them later. I can handle them on my own." she said softly, laying her head under his neck.

[Xirikar]

Xirikar sighed she was doing it again. He didn't know how the heck she always did it. She could make him feel bad for what he had said or what he had done. She was the only one who made him feel like dirt. But in honesty that wasn't always a bad thing.

He pulled away from her. "Don't say such things I still have a heart ya know." He said looking at her. "Your not on your own I'm here you'll never have to handle things on your own." He said looking at her.

[Ceres]

Ceres held back a laugh as he kind of paniced. She licked his maw again, trying to calm him down as he pulled away. "I'm not good at wording thing today, am I?" she admitted. She sighed and looked straight into his eyes. "What I meant, love...is that you can be ready when you are ready. Until then, just be there for me nad I'll take care of most of the pup stuff. If you support me with them, then I can handle all the parent-like stuff until you're ready to face the little guys." she said with a smile.

"I know you have a heart, because I know you love me." she said and she nuzzled him lovingly. She sighed contentedly, not knowing how to say what she needed to say without having it come out all wrong. She knew Xiri would love their pups, but until he was emotionally ready to be a father, she would take care of the puppies.

[Xirikar]

Xirikar couldn't even stand to look at her at the moment he felt like some how he had failed her. Though what made matters worse the rain just came down harder. He felt like he had been swimming for far to long. He adverted his golden gaze from the ground to his mate who sat there trying to talk sense or something into him.

"Ceres I'm not going to let you handle this on your own I'll be there every moment that I can be." He said looking at her he didn't know what else he could say he just wanted her to know she wasn't alone. And damn it all he didn't want her touching him right now.

He pulled away again. "Just don't touch me for a moment ok just enough." He said his tone raising again. He couldn't think and deal with her sad attempts to keep him calm and to apologize.

Azk had been watching from his hole waiting to see how long it'd take for his little monster to snap.

[Ceres]

Ceres listened as he spoke. "Ceres I'm not going to let you handle this on your own I'll be there every moment that I can be." he said. Ceres smiled. "And I know that. I know you'll be there. I'm only saying that I won't expect you to be perfect." she said. Then he drew away, sending a cold shiver down her spine and a hot knife in her heart. Her ears fell and she wondered why he was upset with her. He said he wasn't ready, and when she tried to accomodate it, he got angry at her for calling him heartless or something.

"Just don't touch me for a moment ok just enough." he said. She looked down now, refusing to look at him. "Xirikar, I'm trying to make this easy for you. I am not angry with you, nor am I dissapointed. I understand completely that this isn't what you expected, and I don't think I did anything to deserve your cold actions toward me. If you're going to be there for me when they come...then why do you pull away from me now? Before the storm. This is the easy part, my love, yet you draw away from me..." she said sadly. She was being brutally honest with him, but only for their own good.

[Xirikar]

"I know you don't expect me to be perfect." He said looking at her he didn't interned on trying to be. He was just trying to come to grips with everything that was going on. He looked at her she seemed so pathetic at times she was so soft hearted and kind. It sometimes did drive him nuts. This was one of those times she just kept nuzzling and touching and apologizing.

"I draw away cause I can't take all the affection." He said a bit to harsh. "I honestly can only take so much, I'm not used to love you know that. I'm not used to kindness and I'm not used to being around other wolves." He said. "Ceres look at me enough looking at the ground for you. Your not some weak pack member your the alphess. Stand up strait and look at me when you speak. " He said. He was done with her being so low.

"I want you to start taking me head on to actually look me in he eye and tell me your mad, or tell me to knock it off. I wont listen to you if you keep acting like your sorry for everything. you shouldn't be you did no wrong." He said his tone harsh and demanding as over head lightning and thunder began to come more violently.