Transformers; Toys of Fate!

A Mt. Dew induced Plot Bunny that was born today while I was dusting off my figures. THis story is very random and confusing, and will become more so if it continues to amuse me. Enjoy!

The seventeen-year-old smiled as she finished dusting off the Nemesis Prime (Universe) figure. “There.” She hirped, setting him on the middle shelf, “FINALLY finished!” To reward herself, she picked up the two-liter of Mt. Dew and took a swig from it. “Last drink,” she said to herself, “Last drink for today. Don’t need to be ingesting three thousand calories in caffine before bed.” After screwing the top back on the soda, the girl took a step back to admire her collection.

23 or so figures from varying transformers universes, all lines up in either robot or alt mode. It didn’t matter what faction they belonged to, all that mattered was how they looked next to each other.

“Now, If only I can get my room as tidy.” The girl muttered to herself, brushing a lock of blond-died hair out of her face. She glanced around her room, the floor littered with dirty clothes and paper scraps of varying origin. The girl shrugged then turned to look at the shelf next to her loft bed. She climbed the short ladder next to the bed and grabbed Hayate the Combat Butler, Vol One.

“She’s a manga manga, manga maniac.” The girl sang to herself, hopping off the ladder, “She loves them all, Bishonen in the paperback...”

Still singing, the girl opened her folding door and walked out.

For a few moments, the room was filled with silence once more. Then, on the topmost of the three transformers-filled shelves, something stirred.

Blackarachnia (Universe) fell to her knees, shaking. She glanced to the right, where a giant (Masterpiece) Starscream stood, gold and red crown glinting. (Armada) Thrust stood beside him, arms folded, eyes narrowed grimly. Then she looked to the left at the (Armada) Unicron, currently in planet mode. Beside him, (Cybertron) Sideways (Noisemaze to his friends) transformed to robot mode and met her gaze with sympathy.

Where was (Armada) Sideways?

“Hey,” Arachnia called out, her voice soft and deep. She peered over the edge of the shelf, “Autobots, did you see what happened to Sideways?”

“He’s up there with you!” Called (Energon) Prowl.

“No,” Noisemaze answered, “I’m only Sideways in Cybertron. Arachnia’s talking about Armada.”

“Oh, Him?” answered (Energon) Hotshot, “I didn’t see what the bosslady did with him.”

Arachnia turned to Noisemaze, “Didn’t you see what she did?” She demanded, “Your his second-in-command!”

“I was on the floor, same as everyone else.” Said Noisemaze, “She carried him to the desk, and I lost sight of them.”

BlackArachnia sat down on the edge of the shelf, hugging herself. “I know Sideways’ arm is boken off irreperably, and his missles won’t stay in...”

“And his Minicon head jumps off randomly.” Thrust piped up, earning him a harsh look from Blackarachnia.

“But,” Arachnia continued, “That doesn’t mean she would throw him away, would she?”

“Of course not,” rumbled the voice of (Armada) Unicron. Arachnia turned to face the Planet-eater In his alt mode. “Sideways was her first.” Unicron stated, “No matter how broken he becomes, Kristina would never throw him away.”

Arachnia set a hand on one of Unicron’s pinchers. “Do you really think that?”

Noisemaze set a hand on Arachnia’s shoulder. “Does Armada Unicron lie?”

“Yes,” Growled a harsh, raspy voice from the second shelf, “He does lie about one thing.”

“Here he goes again.” muttered Thrust.

“I, Razorcalw (Beast Wars) was the first of this grand collection, I should be in command!” Snarled the one armed Razorclaw figure. He bared his fangs as he spoke, one hand clentched into a fist.

“Oh, Give it a rest, Razorclaw,” stated (energon) Sharkticon, “Every single time we get moving it’s always the same thing.”

“I was hers when she was only nine!” snapped Razorclaw, “I bear the scars of being owned by a youngling!”

“And the rest of us bear the scars of being rented out to her brothers.” (armada) Demolisher added.

“Enough of this,” said (Universe) Nemesis Prime, “The commander is gone, and Sideways is not here to tell us not to, so there is but one thing we delux figures can do....”

“Panty Raid?” Asked (Energon) Scorponok a smirk on his face.

“Yes!” Nemesis hissed, “The panty drawer is unguarded! Raiders, are you ready?”

“YES!” Chorused the Pantry Raiders, a psychotic teams consisting of (energon) Scorponok, (Universe) Nemesis Prime and a reluctant (Energon) Mirage.

“TRANSFORM!” Said Scorponok, changing himself into his jet form. He hurled himself off the shelf, bouncing harmlessly into on top of the dirty clothes basket.

“This time we will not fail!” Bellowed Nemesis prime, leaping after Scorponok.

“Why do I go along with this again?” asked Mirage with a sigh. Nemesis poked his head out of the basket. “because I will use the Decepticon Matrix of Conquest to transform you into a masochist if you don’t?” He suggested.

“Oh, right.” muttered Mirage. He sighed again, then jumped off the shelf.

“Autobots!” said (Armada) Optimus, changing to his robot form, “We must find Sideways! Without him, our truce with the decepticons will crumble!”

“How tragic,” stated (armada) Wheeljack sarcastically. “Wheeljack,” said (energon) Hotshot, transforming and gripping Wheeljack’s hand, “We both know that Sideways is leading us against an enemy far more dangerous than the decepticons.”

“True...” Wheeljack murmured, glaring hatefully at the shelf beside the bed.

“Right,” said Optimus, “Autobots, we’ll form a seach and rescue team to find Sideways and bring him back!”

“Good idea, Optimus,” said Arachnia, “Sharkticon, Thrust, Noisemaze and I will search the top of the bed”

“We’ll keep an eye out for him in the drawers!” called out Nemesis, sliding out of the laundry basket followed by the other raiders.

Razorclaw snarled hatefully. Why was Arachnia so caught up with that worthless virus.

“You gonna help us, or just perch there pouting?” Thrust asked, glancing down at Razorclaw.

“You know waht you can do, Thrust?” Razorclaw snapped, “you can....”

Razorclaw paused, his nostrils falring as he picked up the scent of glue. He thought for a moment, then smiled with a mouthful of shark teeth.

“Ah, Of course I will help.” said Razorclaw, “I will search the desk...”

“Right,” said Noisemaze, “Transformer Figures, transform and MOVE OUT

O_o Alrighty, it's different but I like it.

Not too random fo you?

Nope