Rules for this thread :
1) If ten posters have posted on the subject, or two days has passed, a new combination can be started.
2) You HAVE to put every person into one column only. You can't say you throw two people off a cliff, for example.
3) Dead, alive, already married, fictional, doesn't matter for the purposes of this game.
4) NO PERSONAL ATTACKS ON FORUMITES OR I WILL LOCK THIS THREAD AND IT WILL NEVER SEE THE LIGHT OF DAY AGAIN.
5) Character's name and where they come from must be posted.

Pictures of proposed victims/spouses/sexual partners are encouraged, so we can be sure who's who. Reasons why are encouraged.

To get the ball rolling, I will start from our very own comic. :P

Captain SNES Shag marry or throw off a cliff!

Alexander Willams, Schroedinger the Cat, Gato.


Shag : Alex. Durr.
Marry : Gato, he will be a great help around the house and can be used as a karaoke machine. <3
Throw off a cliff : Shroedinger the cat. Sorry pussy, I'd rather put up with awful karaoke than going through alternate dimensions of space-time.

Shag: The cat. I mean, it's always referred to as "That fucking cat.", so I would suppose it'd be pretty good at it. =D
Marry: Gato. Always wanted to marry someone that can shoot a boxing glove out of their stomach. Or was it sing? I can never remember...I must be getting old. :P
Throw off a cliff: Alex. Nothing personal, but I gotta put someone here. I'm sure he'll survive.

EDIT: Let's just forget about adding the person we're gonna throw off the cliff! I'm sure you guys could've figured it out.

Shag: Alex. Not my first choice for bed helper, but he beats a cat and a cat robot.
Marry: The cat. I pretty much only ever make living contact with my own cat, anyway, so...
Throw off a cliff: Gato. I don't feel safe with it.

Oooh, a variation on this game.

I always played the one where you've got four other people with you in a wilderness situation. One person gets to be the leader, one person you have sex with, one person is gonna be your friend, and the last person is eaten so you can all survive.


I'm gonna have to go with shagging Alex simply because the other two don't have the correct parts. And Gato goes off the cliff because I'm sure he can survive it. I guess I'm marrying the cat, huh?

I can't throw all of them off? Damn.

I'm gonna have to go with what Newb and Cran said.

Shag: Alex, as he's the only human and I'm a vitalist and speciesist.
Throw off a cliff: The Cat. It'll be fine, cats always land on their feet.
Marry: Gato.I'm not worried about him being a killer robot, you can always change them after you marry them. Insert the relevant song from Guys and Dolls (Marry the Man Today) here.

For me I';ll go:

Shag: Gato
Marry: Alex
Throw off a cliff: The Cat

Alright, it's been a couple of days. Time for round two of
SHAG MARRY OR THROW OFF A CLIFF!
Today, instead of a quandary of DO NOT WANT we have a quandary of DO WANT.

CAPTAIN SNES SHAG MARRY OR THROW OFF A CLIFF

Marle (Chrono Trigger) , Sailor Mercury/Ami Mizuno (Pretty Soldier Sailormoon), Roll (Rockman/Megaman) .

Shag : Sailor Mercury . She talks too much, I'd love to shut her up for once. :P
Marry : Oh, this is a tough one. Well I really enjoy how Marle kicks ass and takes little to no non-sense. The same can be said of Roll though...
No I think in the end I'll have to marry Marle due to not worrying about her killing me in my sleep. :P

Cliff: Sorry, Rolllllling oooff the cliiiiiiiff

Tossing Roll since underage robot = do not want. Then based on what I know of the others...

Shag: Marle
Marry: Mercury
Cliff: Roll

Which one could I do to Marle to make Crono hurt me the least?

Algy, the proper answer to that question involves a parasail.

With that in mind, I'm going to go ahead and marry Mercury because anyone involved with the inner senshi eventually turns out to be a powerful bad guy, because only Moon is allowed to have a boyfriend, and I'd have fun with my superpowers.

I suppose I'm going to be shagging Roll then.

Roll's gonna go off the cliff, because I've never seen an incarnation of her that wasn't either underage, simply a bitch or both.

I'm honestly not sure what to do with Marle, which makes deciding on what to do with Mercury a bit tough too.

Difficult choice. Marrying Roll is tempting simply to have a housekeeper robot around at all times, but I would actually enjoy the company of Mercury...I suppose I'd marry Mercury, shag Marle, and toss Roll.

To those who talk about Roll being underaged, I'd like to take this opportunity to point out Mercury most definitely is, too.

Isn't Mercury about 16 now? That's not underage in several states.

Edit: Rather, it's not under the age of consent. As far as I know, you'd have to be 18 to get married no matter where you are.

Technically speaking, Mercury was twelve in the early nineties, and Roll is a bit older.

But Mercury aged, and Roll didn't.

Edit: Technically, Roll's a robot, so it doesn't really matter anyway.

I thought some incarnations of her had her and Megaman as cyborgs who became such in a life-saving procedure?

That was the cartoon, wasn't it? I know Megaman from Megaman Legends was like that, but I think Roll was human.

Shag: Marle.
marry: Mercury, as she gets to be one of the right hands to the neo-God-Queen of Earth, which would be nifty to have in a wife.
Roll goes off the cliff.

Shag: Mercury. This choice probably would have changed had I actually watched Sailor Moon. Oh well.
Marry: Roll.
Cliff: Marle. But there's a net not too far down so she doesn't actually hurt herself.

Or it could be that cliff in the far past that has a portal to the end of time halfway down it.

Marry: Sailor Mercury/Ami Mizuno (Pretty Soldier Sailormoon)
Shag: Marle (Chrono Trigger)
Throw off a cliff: Roll (Rockman/Megaman)

You know we are going to have to get rid of that net by the time the more annoying guys start entering the picture.

Now for the craziness!

Ranma Saotome (Ranma 1/2), Ash Upton (Misfile), or Futana Shimeru (Futaba-Kun Change!)?

I don't actually know any of those enough to do more than guess they're all transgendered.

Ranma is a man who changes into a woman with cold water.
Ash is a man stuck as a woman due to a celestial error.
Futana is a woman who changes into a man through willpower or when she gets excited enough.


So yes.

Shag: Futana, but get both drunk first and hope I don't remember much in the morning
Marry: Ash, s/he has enough problems and this seems the least painful option
Throw Ranma off the cliff and run far, far away before the rain of spatulas, bonbori, hammers, etc. can hit me. They would hit me sooner if I put Ranma in either of the other two options.

Personally, I'd tell Ranma that throwing him off the cliff was "training" for a "secret technique" and thus avoid any sort of retaliation. >.> I could even convince Genma to throw him off the cliff for me. (You can teach your son a powerful technique by repeatedly throwing him off a cliff! Act now!)

And Futana has quite a reputation as a... I don't know if lady's man is exactly the right phrase. Person's person? Yeah.

Shag: Futana. Duh.
Marry: Ranma. This is canonically impossible to achieve, and trying it makes him less likely to want to be near me. So it's just kind of a "skip" option.
Cliff: Ash. I think he's already survived such a thing?

Ranma's a prude, he goes off the cliff.
I'd totally shag Futana. rawwooor.
I guess that means I'm marrying Ash. I don't think he'd find it so bad.

still Newb you're an odd one. With the exception of Futana all these characters are underage.
:P

Why didn't you post some pictures? You'd had to know odds are good that there'd be less than a handful of us familiar with all those characters.

Ash is almost 18, isn't s/he?

That said,
Shag: Ash
Marry: Futana, I suppose. I'd really rather not deal with Ranma's suitors.
Which means that Ranma goes off the cliff.

New set.

Sailor Moon, Utena (Revolutionary Girl Utena), or Momoko (Wedding Peach)

Also, guess the theme.

Shag Utena, don't want to get very involved there, and throwing her off the cliff would probably come back to bite me in the ass with a sword.
Marry Sailor for reasons listed above: world domination ahoy!
Throw the wedding-obsessed girl off the cliff, then.

Shag Sailor Moon, she's whiny and will just go back to Tuxedo Mask anyway.
Marry Utena, because she's actually gay.
Throw Momoko off the cliff because she sounds like one of those ultra feminine Japanese characters.

Erm, since it occurs to me that some people might not know Wedding Peach, it's basically Sailor Moon, only in wedding gowns. I know, I'm sorry, but it was either her or Card Captor Sakura. Don't watch a lot of magical girl anime.

Ranma is a magical girl!

:P

Only in the literal sense that he is "a girl because of magic". In the genre sense, not quite.

What are you talking about? He even has a talking animal advisor!

Well... Talking is stretching a point when you use signs to communicate, but...

shag : Utena. pink hair, rowr.
marry : Usagi, I actually have a huge soft spot for her. (manga Usagi) She can be mischievious, but sometimes whiny... however when you get right down to it she cares for nothing more than her partner's happiness.
momoko : Is very cute, but unfortunately I don't know much about her. so off the cliff she goes.

Marry: Momoko. Her boyfriend scares me more than Tuxedo does, and this seems like the only way he wont kill me. Besides, it's her theme.

Shag: Sailor Moon. I've just always had a thing for her, since I first saw the show.

Utena goes off the cliff because she's a winy, arrogant bitch who has bad voice acting. Also, because if I get rid of her, then the Rose Bride is all mine! Muahahahah!

Marry: Momoko (Wedding Peach)
Shag: Sailor Moon
Throw off a cliff: Utena (Revolutionary Girl Utena)