Welcome

[Wesley Darrow]

Death. It was something most people feared. And yet for some, it was a welcome event that was to be embraced. No matter how you looked at it, how hard you tried, Death was unavoidable. For Wesley Darrow, fire elemental extraordinaire, Death was part of his everyday life. No matter how hard he tried to deny it, he was dying. Without Dr. Livingston's machine, he would be dead and that death wouldn't be pretty.

So the question remained. Why now? Why did he choose now, this day, to tempt fate by doing something so stupid and so idiotic that his lifespan would shorten exponentially? The answer was simple.

Kansas Wynters. AKA Kendo. AKA She-Hulk. With her super enhanced abilities and her enormous rage issues, she was prime target. She practically screamed 'fuck with me while I am passed out, Wesley.' Sure it was a stupid thing to do. But then again she had started it. It was one thing to write "Careful! I'm a flamer!" on the back of all his shirts. But it was a totally different thing entirely to burst into a man's bathroom while he's in the shower screaming 'YOU'RE ON FIRE!' and dousing him with a fire extinguisher over the shower door.

No. This was WAR! And there was no mercy in war. There would be hell to pay and this was only the beginning.

He glanced over at her as he crept through the bedroom. Looking at her you would never guess that the small woman on the bed could snap you in half. However, Inferno knew other wise. There was a reason he called her She-Hulk. And when he was done today... She-Hulk she would be.

"It's not that easy being green
Having to spend each day the color of the leaves
When I think it could be nicer being red, or yellow or gold
Or something much more colorful like that."

He slipped into the bathroom as he sang softly, pulling two vials out of his body as he approached the shower. A wicked smile tugged at his lips, thanking every thing holy that she was still on her apple scented kick. He uncapped the shampoo, pouring the first vial of dark green into the bottle and shook it gently before moving to the body wash with a lighter green. With a quick shake, he slipped out of the bathroom once more.

He barely contained his snicker as he walks toward the door and continued to sing as he crept back out of the bedroom and back toward the command center to resume his watch.

"When green is all there is to be
It could make you wonder why, but why wonder why
Wonder, I am green and it'll do fine, it's beautiful
And I think it's what I want to be."

Oh yes. War was awesome!

[Andrew Saunders]

After a whole night of patrolling, changing out of his costume and into the comfortable feel of his jeans and shirt was a blissful moment. Nothing much was going on in Alexandria tonight. Just a couple of teenagers going through their rebellious streak and throwing eggs at a couple of houses.

Nothing that saying 'Hi' couldn't scare them away.

Sometimes, having a costume had its upside.

But after that, he could really use some quiet time to just chill. Maybe an apple pie Ala mode would help set the mood. Speaking of moods, "You're looking chirpy today," he commented to Wes as he walked by the command centre.

Drew noticed the man silently laughing at himself and there was that look on his face.

That look.

"Oh no..." Drew sighed and worry took him over. "Please just tell me you watched an extremely happy movie; that's why you're smirking with an evil glint in your eye, and not because you did something that could literally tear this place apart."

He was beginning to babble and he knew it. He just couldn't control it, not when Wes had just done something that could potentially be a fatal mistake.

[Kansas Wynters]

For a few brief moments after waking, Kansas was certain that she was going to die. After all, the excruciating pain in her skull had to mean something, and what could be a more logical way for someone as incredibly hung over as she was to die than to have their head literally explode? Kansas groaned and slowly moved her hand to press against her temple, which was really the only way she could move at all for the time being. Her body just didn't want to seem to move this... morning? afternoon? Whatever - it didn't matter. The only thing that mattered was that she was, for all intents and purposes, completely immobile. She had a chance to register the rotten feeling in her gut that told her something annoying would be happening that day before she fell back asleep.

When she awoke sometime later, she could have sworn the door was closing on some godawful rendition of some damn muppet song. She shook it off - not literally, of course, because movement was still just slightly beyond her grasp - blaming the door and the singing on the same thing that was making the room spin madly around her. Feeling slightly nauseus, Kansas squeezed her eyes shut and pressed her face into the pillow beneath her, groaning miserably.

It took several minutes before she could even begin to think about dragging herself out of bed, and several more before she actually could. Grasping the bedpost in her hand tightly until she stopped swaying, Kansas decided that the longer she smelled like booze and cigarettes the more likely it would be she'd spend the next few hours worshipping the porcelain god in her bathroom.

She steadily made her way to the bathroom, shedding clothes as she went and humming the Canadian National Anthem under her breath for some reason. A few minutes later the shower was filled with steam and the throbbing pain in her head was on it's way to becoming a distant memory. Her eyes were still closed though, as she found the lights in the bathroom entirely too bright for her liking, but this by far wasn't the first time she'd been too hung over to open her eyes in the shower. Everything was laid out in the same spot as always - shampoo on the left, conditioner in the middle, body wash to the right.

With the shampoo lathered into her hair nicely and the body wash successfully utilized, she leaned her head against the side of the shower stall and sighed. She took in a deep breath of the steam, noting a weird taste to it mixed in with the apple scent she currently loved. With a small whimper of protest she cracked one eye open - then both eyes shot open and a scream of fury and surprise was ripped out of her throat: "WESLEEEEEEEEEEEEEY!"

[Wesley Darrow]

Wes poured himself a cup of coffee and smiled to himself. There was nothing else that could make his day any better. Other than getting out and kicking some villain ass. Yes. He was rather proud of himself, he decided as he propped his feet up on the desk. What was it they always said? 'Good things come in small packages?'

'Yeah, well, hilarious things came in green shampoo bottles.'

He laughed to himself and looked up, sensing someone else joining him. Idly, as was common for him, he snapped his fingers, the flames igniting and extinguishing with each snap. To this day, he was still fascinated by his ability. No one else could say they could be a walking ball of fire and mean it, even thought it had earned him the nickname "hothead" every once in a while. But what could you do? They were just jealous of his awesomeness anyway.

"You're looking chirpy today."

Wes smiled wickedly as he watched Drew step into the command center. Drew was the kind of guy you wanted at your side, who was going to stick by you through the worst. A guy who wouldn't know how to pull off a practical joke if it bit him on the nose. "Chipper? Me?" Wes thought about that a moment and grinned again. "I guess I kinda am now. Funny how that happens, huh?"

"Oh no... Please just tell me you watched an extremely happy movie; that's why you're smirking with an evil glint in your eye, and not because you did something that could literally tear this place apart."

Wes couldn't help but laugh. He could see the concern on Drew's face and for a brief moment, he almost felt bad. Poor guy didn't have a clue what was about to happen. Especially if Kendo caught him talking to Inferno. "Me? Nah. I'm not watching anything yet," he grinned, his eyes gleaming mischievously. "But I'm about to. It's called "The Rise of She-Hulk". Wanna watch with me?"

Not two seconds later, he heard it.

"WESLEEEEEEEEEEEEEY!"

"Oh look! The show's starting," he said with a pleased chuckle, child-like excitement filling him as he rose to his feet.

[Kansas Wynters]

Kansas began rubbing frantically at her arms, trying to un-green herself, only to panic further when she realized that it wasn't coming off. With a growl of frustration she slapped at the shower control, trying to shut it off, but her powers had kicked in and she just slapped it off completely. Kansas threw her hands in the air with an uncharacteristically high pitched shriek of irritation. She grabbed the towel off the rack nearest her and dried herself off vigorously while muttering under her breath. When the towel came away green, she balled it up and threw it into the still running shower.

It only took a minute or so for her to locate clothes to wear, but it took several tries to get something on without tearing it in half because of how her rage was building. Wearing just a hooded sweatshirt, her last pair of jeans, and a good pair of sneakers in case the weasel tried to escape, Kansas kicked down the door to the common area of the Watchtower.

Scanning the room with a murderous glare, Kansas pushed her now green hair out of her face with her equally green hand and stalked towards Wesley and Andrew. Wesley she had been expecting, but Drew? Oh, clever Wesley, recruiting someone she'd least suspect to help him with this prank - too bad he hadn't counted on her catching them like this. "You two are DEAD!" she yelled, stepping over the door she had kicked down.

[Andrew Saunders]

"Me? Nah. I'm not watching anything yet. But I'm about to. It's called "The Rise of She-Hulk". Wanna watch with me?""

The whole situation was just screaming massive danger that could bring death to all no matter who. "Oh no no no no no no..." Drew muttered and the frown deepened as he watched Wesley's expression went from happy to psychotic glee. "This is bad."

"WESLEEEEEEEEEEEEEY!" the unmistakable screech of Kansas' enraged voice cut through the silent night at the Watchtower.

They were doomed. "This is very very bad."

"Oh look! The show's starting" The man had a death wish and Drew was stuck in frozen horror. His feet refused to listen to his body's instinctive need for self preservation.

"Why why why?" Drew's brain had also stopped trying to string proper sentences together. "Why do you want to kill us all?"

The door came crashing down just as the word escaped Drew's lips bringing more panic into him. Sure, he could face tyrannic villains and insane killers, but a furious Kansas was a different scale that even his alter ego Shift could never face. In addition to that, her being green certainly wasn't helping the situation.

"You two are DEAD!"

"Two? What do you mean two? There's only one and never a two," Drew stuttered and pointed at Wesley who was beside him with joy, "This was all Wes! I just came back from--"

Unable to fully explain, Kansas was already on her rampage and going straight for them. Realising that an explanation was far less valuable than his life, Drew took a deep breath and transported himself out of the woman's way.

And then realised Wesley was still standing there and almost doubling over with laughter. That idiot. No matter how big the temptation to leave him, Drew's conscience bit at him and before he could understand why, he found himself next to Wes. "We should go," he clasped on to Wesley's shoulder and in a blink of an eye was behind Kansas and clear of her path of destruction.

[Wesley Darrow]

"Why why why?Why do you want to kill us all?"

It was almost too much, Wes decided as he watched the look of sudden horror that deepened the frown on Drew's face. The poor hero was petrified of what Kansas was about to do. "I'm not trying to kill anyone. I warned her. I told her when she got me in the shower with the extinguisher that paybacks were hell," he explained almost matter-of-factly. "Now she understands." He jerked his head around as the door came crashing in and Wes couldn't stop the laugh. "Oh. My. God..."


"You two are DEAD!"

Wes' body ached like hell but there was nothing that was going to stop him from being able to enjoy this victory. The pure horror of the green, angry woman in front of him made it all the better. Good. This was so good. Where was Zack when he needed the smart ass? "Hey now. You know Six's rules. No fighting in the Watchtower," he chided. "But to put it in terms you will understand... She-Hulk no smash!"

Oh god. He was too funny. Even as Kansas accused poor Drew, Wes tried to contain his laughter. "Two? What do you mean two? There's only one and never a two. This was all Wes! I just came back from--"

Kansas charged forward and Drew disappeared. Okay, true. Not everyone had a death wish like he did most of the time, but this was more amusing than anything. "Chicken," Wes joked as Kansas closed in on him. "Oh come on, Kendo. What? It's not easy being green? Don't be such a Grinch... Oh god! He's green too."

He put his hands on his knees and tried to contain the evil laughter. Truthfully, he wasn't afraid of her. While he knew her rage was a formidable foe, he had the upper hand. Fire hurt and unlike her, he could fly. But before he had the chance, Drew was next to him again. "We should go."

"We should...," Wes barely got out the words before they were teleported behind her. "...go? Aw, man, Drew! You take the fun out of things. Look, Oscar the Grouch isn't going to really hurt me," he said, pausing again before a grin spread across his face. "Did you get it? He's green too? Oh god. This is too much."

Oh yeah. He was dead.

[Kansas Wynters]

If looks could kill, the glare Kansas was giving Wesley would be already rotting. In fact, the look she was giving him would probably have been capable of killing him 20 times over. Actually, after that 'Grinch' comment it would be more like 33 times over. The laughter wasn't helping, either. Kansas was seeing red, and if it wasn't for Wes mentioning the 'no fighting inside the Watchtower' rule earlier, both boys would have been in several worlds of pain by now.

After Drew teleported them out of her immediate path Kansas let out an enraged growl, spinning around with her fists clenched so tightly she was sure the nails would draw blood. Gritting her teeth, Kansas haltingly said, "The fire extinguisher was QUICK! How long am I going to be...?" Kansas gestured to herself vaguely, unable to say the word 'green' for fear of breaking that all-important rule Six had. No matter how sure she was that Six would side with her - after all, being turned green pretty much guaranteed she wouldn't be anyone but Kendo in public for the unseen future. The fire extinguisher wasn't going to potentially give away his secret identity or anything.

"Oh and I've got four words for you Drew - accesory after the fact! You might not've been in on it to begin with, but you're certainly aiding and abetting Mr 'I'm laughing so hard I can't breathe and I just might pee myself' over here." Yep. Kansas watched a lot of Law and Order and was unafraid to toss around the lingo at the drop of a hat. The thought that she would be potentially stuck in the Watchtower for days on end with nothing to do but watch hours of Law and Order reruns almost made her willpower crack completely.

[Andrew Saunders]

"Aw, man, Drew! You take the fun out of things. Look, Oscar the Grouch isn't going to really hurt me. Did you get it? He's green too? Oh god. This is too much."

The hilarity of the moment had escaped Drew completely. Laughter was the last thing on the man's mind and he just couldn't understand why Wes wasn't the least bit worried of the situation. Fire extinguishers were one thing but to be coloured green completely like an Easter egg? There were limits and Wes may have just crossed it.

"You might not've been in on it to begin with, but you're certainly aiding and abetting Mr 'I'm laughing so hard I can't breathe and I just might pee myself' over here."

"But I... I didn't..." Just why was he the one paying for this?! He closed his eyes and hoped for divine intervention amidst the Wes' laughing.

[James Crichton]

There were days that James felt out of place in the future, his soul missed the life he had in his own time instead of the one he was propelled into; one that he thought was only possible in the movies. Then there were days when he was completely at home with the young Guild members of whom he was in change of--a father figure and leader of all sorts. Then there were days he felt like he was the principal of a very loud, boisterous, and destructive kindergarten.

At the sound of a loud crash and crunching metal that came from outside his room, James realised this was one of the latter.

Abandoning his cup of coffee, he sprinted out into the corridors and followed the yelling and bellowing from the unmistakable Kansas. What did they do now?

Breaking into a jog, he saw the remnants of the door to the common room and gingerly stepped over the wreckage. "What the..." looking up at the motley crew, James was prepared to scowl and reprimand his charges but being shocked and left with his jaw dropped was not something he thought he'd be doing. "Hell?"

Before him was a green coloured Kansas and terrorising a petrified Andrew and Wesley who was doubled over with laughter. It didn't take a genius to figure out who was responsible for all of this. "Do I even want to know?"

[Zack Quinn]

The bleep was small and weak, as if it was some just a tiny slip of the computer. Zack stared at the screens again just to make sure he wasn't imagining it and waited.

And waited.

The bleep remained silent and Zack picked up his comic book once again before leaning back against the chair of the Watchtower's control room. Normally, he'd be lying dead across the couch of the common room in total sleep, but he knew of Wesley's ultimate payback and Zack--no matter how much he'd love to see a green-skinned Kansas running after Wesley--was hoping for a quiet night tonight.

And there it was again.

Tossing his comic aside, Zack's fingers flew across the touchscreens and tried pulling out a few readings. He identified the beep as a distress call, but from whom? And why was the signal so weak? Was there interference from some blasted kid's modified iPod or what?

Adjusting a few figures in the system, the beeping became more consistent as he discovered where the signal was coming from and whose emergency beacon it was.

"Crap," he said and catapulted out of the chair and down the halls. As he peaked in all the regular areas, he couldn't find a single soul. In a completely panicked mode, things were only made worse when even Six wasn't in his room. "Where the frack is everyone??!"

Breathe, Zack, breathe. "Common room!" he snapped his fingers and zipped through the corridors in record time, searching for someone that would be able to do something about the situation. "Six!!" he yelled as he stumbled into the common room. The sight of Kansas jolted him a little, but his panic was stronger and won, "Leslie's emergency beacon just went off!" the teen panted and bent over to grab his knees, hoping to get more oxygen into his lungs. "She's in the park."

[Wesley Darrow]

"The fire extinguisher was QUICK! How long am I going to be...?"

"But I... I didn't..."

"Oh and I've got four words for you Drew - accessory after the fact! You might not've been in on it to begin with, but you're certainly aiding and abetting Mr 'I'm laughing so hard I can't breathe and I just might pee myself' over here."

Wes smiled at Kansas, the look was almost angelic. He was so thrilled at the way his mischievous plan had turned out. It was, for all purposes, a total She-Hulk moment. The sheer hilarity of it seemed to outweigh the danger he had put himself in. Even with the amount of effort it took him to straighten himself, he was giddy. God, he was dead.

"Oh, come on, Kansas," he said with a light tone. "It's only going to last a day. It's not permanent. I'm not that cruel. And Drew had nothing to do with it. Leave him alone."

Still he struggled. She was so furious over this and yet his mind couldn't get passed the green tint of her skin. So was so She-Hulk right now. It was beyond his wildest imagination.

"What the...Hell? Do I even want to know?"

Wes could see the shock on the boss' face and he just smiled. "It's all good, Boss-man. Kansas won't kill me in the Watchtower. She'll at least wait until I am on solid ground before pummeling me like she wants. But you know. I think I like her when she's angry." He grinned at the joke and quickly recovered. "Me and Gumby will be back to normal in no time."

He could almost see the redness creeping to Kendo's cheeks as he spoke and briefly thought about stopping and apologizing. Hell, he knew paybacks were a bitch and only public humiliation would make up for this latest atrocity. Oh but he would remember this day. He would remember it well.

That is until Zack burst into the common room, panic stricken and out of breath. "Six!! Leslie's emergency beacon just went off! She's in the park."

That was the worst thing for a hero to hear, that one of their comrades had been attacked. Especially one like Rapport. While she was a very capable member of the Guild, she was still not strong enough offensively to fight off the stronger villains in the city. He looked to Six and nodded, still being the Hero on call.

"I'm gone," he said, stripping off his coveralls to his "uniform". He summoned the flames around himself and groaned, the flames wavering a moment, dimming, before he took a deep breath and ignited fully. He looked back at the others. "I will be at the park. Hurry."

With that, he leapt off the open balcony of the Watchtower, a trail of fire billowing behind him as he flew off.

[Kansas Wynters]

Kansas stared dumbly at where Wesley had been just a few moments ago. Rapport was in trouble, apparently. Needed to be rescued, if Wes's speedy departure had been anything to go by. Kansas took a deep breath, squeezed her eyes shut, and counted to ten before spinning around and gesturing at where Wesley had taken off. "Well, you heard him. Hurry! I'll wait here in case she, yunno... comes back on her own."

She crossed her arms and began looking around the room so as not to meet anyone's gaze. She really, really, really didn't want to go. As much as she liked the kid, going to rescue her like this would be humiliating on a level she had not yet achieved - and this was coming a woman who had once accidentally broke an elephant's cage at the zoo, then spent a whole day chasing it all over Alexandria. Kansas didn't think she would ever have lived that down, but she was fairly certain that showing up green would be something people would never let go.

[James Crichton]

The dread of something bad was going to happen had been nagging at him the entire night and he thought that was due to Wesley's prank. But when Zack stormed into the room with his alert, James knew this was what he had been afraid of.

Exchanging a look between Drew and Wes that spoke volumes, it was the human torch that reacted first.

"I'm gone. I will be at the park. Hurry."

Watching the fire envelope the man, James physically and mentally felt the heat of Wesley's power and absent mindedly flinched. Before anyone could move, he had left a trail of light behind him.

As for Kansas...

"Well, you heard him. Hurry! I'll wait here in case she, yunno... comes back on her own."

"Right behind him, Six," Andrew nodded once before disappearing right in front of their eyes. He may just reach Leslie before Wesley though the latter was just as fast.

Glancing at Kansas, a pang of guilt yet uncertainty of whether she should be there giving them a hand. He had a feeling that they were going to need all the help they could get. But still, in green skin and with her costume so... bare. "Kansas..." he began, trying to calm the woman down and show an understanding view.

"And you're just going to sit here on your ass just because of some practical joke?!" Zack yelled out and was heading towards Kansas. Never had James seen him so riled up, but then again he and Leslie were close friends even before the girl had been a part of the Guild. Grabbing the teenager's shoulder just as he passed James, he held down on the boy and pulled him back from advancing on Kansas. "What if she's really in trouble and they need you down there? You want to live with the fact that you could've saved her but didn't just because you're afraid of being laughed at?"

"Zack!" he reprimanded the teenager before he made things worse.

[Kansas Wynters]

Kansas watched Zack approach her, his eyes blazing with fury. As he kept going on, her anger returned in spades, finally peaking when he boiled her entire dilemma down to something so simple as being afraid of being laughed at. Like that was such a stupid thing to fear, like he could comprehend what laughter did to her.

She returned his glare, matching his intensity bit for bit. "Fine," she growled out through clenched teeth. "I'll go, because distance is the only thing that's keeping me from snapping you in half like a twig, wonderboy." Kansas shot him one more glare before stalking to her room, changing into her costume, and going downstairs to where her motorcycle was stored. She revved the engine and the bike shot forward, her head barely missing the partially raised garage door.