Gigabyte

[Raistlin Majere]

(As a note: This is just something I started to throw together early in the morning. An idea that is still a work in progress and may change on a whim, even what I have written here so far. Frankly, Chapter 1 isn't even finished yet. In no way do I expect critiques or comments until it is done, but they are appreciated if given. This is mainly just a way to express myself and share with others.)

If I could change my life, I probably would. As I lie here on the cold stone ground, dying, I see life how it was meant to be seen. Seen through the eyes of someone who has experienced all that life has to offer. But maybe I've gotten too far ahead of my presumptuous self, let me start from the beginning...

Society, the bane of existance. Laws, created to strangle our self-worth in attempts to protect us against the savagery of total chaos. Blatent brainwashing of the masses to promote self-loathing and labels. How can anyone truely appreciate life when the mind is clouded by this... filth? A land of cybernetics, where the body could no longer be organic. I live in this world, a world where real life and internetic life seems to be a blur. At least, for me it is...

Chapter 1: Passion, What Dreams We Create

*Beep Beep Beep* I slammed my clenched fist down on the alarm clock as I rolled back over in my bed. The sheets lay crumpled at my feet, the ceiling fan squeeking and sputtering as it spun at high speed, and my top tossed to the floor. Yet, every night, no matter how cool it is, I wake up drenched in sweat. The current date was unknown to me. My head ached and I could feel my heart beat with a seismic rhythm. *lub dub... lub dub... lub dub...* Closing my eyes, I pulled the pillow over my head and fell back alseep to dream.

"Do you want to be free?"

It must have been mid-day by the time I actually woke up. The sun was shining through my window into my empty room, even when the blinds were completely shut. A grated shadow cast itself across my floor. I sat up, rubbing the back of my hand against my left eye. The other hand, ran through my short brown hair. My sight was blurry as I looked around my room, as if it was foreign to me.

"Do you want to live?"

The door lay at the end on the left side of the room. The pearly white glow it used to give off when I first moved in now appeared a dull, lifeless grey. As I turned my head further left, I came upon my closet. Full of dresses and expensive suits I would never get to wear. I don't really care anymore though, going out is something I have forgotten. Across from the door led to my bathroom. To the right of my bed resided my love, my life, my everything. A bland oak table and antique chair. My eyes narrowed, focusing on my purpose, a small laptop. The neural connection lay at the edge of the bed.

"I can bring you true happiness..."

I lived alone, no one to love, and no one to love me. I drudged my way across the bedroom floor to the bathroom. With one glance back, I sighed with a longing to continue to sleep. Cracking my neck, I approached the mirror, judging myself helplessly like the other sheeps of society.

My hair was scroungy and dirty, my once glimmering brown eyes now irritated and bloodshot, my lips cracked and dry; my once tanned skin was now pale and white. My nails were bland and no longer painted. My breasts, supple and small, compared nothing to what society dictates in beauty. Throwing my weight onto my right hip, I hugged myself, trying to love myself for what I am. Turning to the shower and finding the right temperature, I slipped off my panties and stepped in to wash away the filth.

* * *

With a towel around my naked body, I walked into the kitchen, to grab a half-empty box of chinese food from the night before. Grabbing a pair of chopsticks and a bottle of beer from the refrigerator, I turned on the t.v. and plopped myself down onto the leather couch. The crackling noise of static rang in my ears, before the channel finally materialized. It was the news. I slurped the noodles impetuously, listening to the words of the news reporter.

"Today, yet another alleged suicide has taken place. Thus bringing the total to twenty-two. The death was as spontaneous as the others. Due to family confidentiality, we cannot disclose the identity of the victim. The police have been looking for possible clues that could link the deaths together or anything that may indicate a homicide, but have not released any further information. And in other news..."

"Do you wish to feel?"

Useless garbage, I thought to myself, as I turned off the t.v. to return to my room. Putting on the routine outfit of underwear and a pair of sweats, I sat at the chair near my bed and started up my laptop. Shifting the hair from the back of my neck, I reached for the neural connector, and slid it in. The internet, my true family. All my friends, my so called loved ones, and the very proof of my existance lie here. I've spent so much time in a fantasy world, the real world began to shift out of my conscience. My eyes dilated and dulled. After the link was confirmed, my body went limp, my hands twitched, and my head drooped to the side.

When you, "jack in", you feel the energy rush through your body. The electrical pulses running through your nerves. Your eyes become the screen, your brain becomes the motherboard, and your body becomes the medium to experience almost surreal senses. Better than any drug, stronger then any orgasm; you can never get used to the feeling of fantasy at your very finger tips. That is, at its core, passion.

"I know you want it. I know you strive for it subconsciously. I can show you the world you dream of; the world you long for. You despise it, yet deep down in your soul, you know you want it."

EDIT: Added a little more, although not much. Changed a few things here and there. Dunno if I can add much more this chapter without it seeming too drawn out and borish. Might have to go more in-depth next chapter or something.

[Raistlin Majere]

Well, the idea has passed. I already know I won't continue with this, so might as well spill the beans. To those of you who read it, thanks. For those of you who even cared where it might have been going:

The voice you hear now and then is a split personality on a subconscience level. She (I never really gave her a name, so come up with one for your own enjoyment =3) was a computer junkie and loner at heart, but still had the urges and desires to be immerged in what she despised. That manifestation of thoughts were collected and pushed into the deepest recesses of her mind, where it festered and become the second personality.

As the story (or lack there of) progressed, her mind begins to give into the second personality and that is when everything begins to blur. She delves into some crazy stuff, from murder to overdosing on drugs, etc, etc. She could no longer tell reality from the virtual world, and sometimes they actually were one and the same.

The suicides seen in chapter one (and the number gets bigger as the story goes along) aren't suicides, but murders. Those of which, the main character has been doing all along. Ever wonder why she continuously woke up in cold sweats? Nearing the end, there is the self-realization that she, herself, was behind all of this.

In the end, she ends the chain of killings by finally finishing herself off once and for all. Which brings it back to the prologue before chapter 1, where she is lying on the ground dying. Having experience all that life had to offer, the good AND the bad.

Thus completes the cycle.