The Past Few Days (Random crap from Darius)
There I was, walking down the street, when FIVE CARS CAME OUT OF NOWHERE! The exploded into sixty-million pieces, and the cheese died! I could understand what the old man was saying, so I ran to the oven to put a strand of my friend’s hair in it. After that I think the trash can imploded… But maybe not. You won’t believe what happened next… NEO FLEW IN AND UTTERLY DESTROYED THE ENTERPRISE! I have no clue why he did that, but the pie was done, so I threw it at the wall. Fifteen Vulcans suddenly started being logical, so I ordered the Navy to fire a missile at Russia. They did, and World War III didn’t start. So I figured I should jump off a cliff. I did so, but them I landed on my bed, fast asleep. After I didn’t wake up I walked outside and zombies were everywhere. I went up and poked one… Bad idea. It turned into A GIGANTIC MAN-EATING SLUG! I was so not terrified that I didn’t run into the barn that didn’t exist. Since I was safe I listened to some Trance music, while bowling with my girlfriend. When the day was done the hair had finished making, so I took it out of the oven. It turns out it got burnt though, so I tried to throw it in the trash can that had imploded… it didn’t work. So, I had Neo use his powers to make the trash can go back to normal, and bring the cheese back to life. But death ensued, and the Klingons all died. Tough luck for them, I guess. Next thing you know I’m falling down that cliff I jumped off. But I was playing Age of Empires III in my room, while my sister’s cat was licking the door. I looked over at my cup of water, and as I touched it… nothing happened. So, I drank some of the water and lived on. Then, finally, someone knocked at the door, and the games I ordered arrived. THEN THE NEIGHBOR’S HOUSE didn’t do anything. So I walked into an arena filled with Spartans. It was an amazing sight… all the popcorn, and movie tickets… So I sat down and the feature film began. But… it was lame, so I left for home. When I arrived I went to the garage, let the dogs in, gave the bird some food, and ran around in circles for five hours. I was tired after that, so I went to bed. BUT I COULDN’T SLEEP! So I got up, turned on the TV, blew up an old car, and turned the fridge off. Then I poked a friend of mine, ran over the my girlfriend, hugged her, ran to the table, smashed it, ran to another friend of mine, killed him with a joke (poor guy…), and did the Chicken Dance.