The Queen Of Heart
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The Queen Of Heart| Spirit |
 Posted: Dec 12 2004, 05:37 AM
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as the tomb queens army marched and took postions on the feild of battle countless number of orks and gobbos ran from the north towards the queens army not knowing the meaning of fear we stand strong in full splendor wheras they were just in a ramshackle formation holding the smaller greenskins in front so they would be a barrier of on cumming fire as the enermy fast aproached we opened the castek and it was like there was a barrier in front of us as soon as an ork got with hitting a man he was dead the only person who could conquer the fear of severed heads was there lord azhag the queen walked out to meet him in combat the wyrthen mount flung its lightning quick tale at the queen several times but couldn't hit. the ork lord was stunned was there something faster then his mount which was meant to be the quickest beast ever the lord fell off his mount with a sudern crash the great beast fell to the floor with a ton full of snakes sltherin in to the wounds Azhag got up and looked in to the empty sockets of the queen he lunged at her striking her through the stomach with a spear he withrew the spear only to find she was as good as new the queen grinned as the Ork turn tale and run as fast he could the tomb queens army didn't pursue for dying in battle would be worse then dying wondering the desert...
partly based on actual warhammer battle |
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| markpieter |
Posted: Dec 12 2004, 08:45 AM
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 Are your base are belong to us...  Group: Faithful Posts: 939 Member No.: 392 Joined: 10-November 04 |
Can't you use capital letters and .'s
Nice that you based it on a battle. Was it a Massacre? -------------------- A cynic is a man who, when he smells flowers, looks around for a coffin.
H.L.Mencken (1880-1956) Join us (in dead) or die (and join us) The arabian army need finishing! |
  
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| Spirit |
Posted: Dec 12 2004, 12:20 PM
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yes it was a massacre i only lost 2 men lol
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| lord_blackfang |
Posted: Dec 12 2004, 12:21 PM
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 Skeleton Horseman  Group: Nehekharan Posts: 160 Member No.: 424 Joined: 5-December 04 |
Yeah, a block of text with no paragraphs or punctuation isn't attractive reading material no matter what it's about.
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| Spirit |
Posted: Dec 12 2004, 03:39 PM
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Quit complaining
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| Myachic_make_love |
Posted: Dec 13 2004, 10:44 AM
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 Tomb Guard  Group: Faithful Posts: 369 Member No.: 304 Joined: 5-September 04 |
Didnt even read the whole thing because there are no paragraphs or punctuation....it anoing to look at
You might wanna add those in future posts  -------------------- "All warfare is based on deception" (Sun tzu)
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| Driazine |
Posted: Dec 30 2004, 04:15 AM
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 Sphinx Captain Group: Faithful Posts: 813 Member No.: 395 Joined: 13-November 04 |
its really hard to read, but the story is good. (punctuation)
-------------------- Nagash the weak. Nagash the fallen. Nagash the betrayer. He has brought shame to Khemri, where none existed before.
May his suffering equal his betrayal... Inscription on the monolith of the Khemerian Prince Driazine; who is said to have destroyed Nagash during the birth of a new star. mi grammartic and spellink misteks be corpirited wiz al o ze rites reserft © my tactics here |
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| Darkestyu |
Posted: Jun 12 2005, 04:41 PM
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 Skeleton Charioteer  Group: Faithful Posts: 258 Member No.: 688 Joined: 29-May 05 |
say uh... what? queen killed thingy? then serpents burst out and stuff? uh what?
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