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Les Miserables Online > Unfinished Songs > Master of the House

Title: Master of the House
Description: Thenardier, Thenardiess, Ensemble

EponineJavert - July 28, 2007 08:18 PM (GMT)
Characters: Thenardier, Thenardiess, Drinkers, Diners, Young Couple, Entire Ensemble

Backing track with me singing the chorus


Thenardier: Welcome monsieur
Sit yourself down
And meet the best
Innkeeper in town
As for the rest
All of them crooks
Rooking their guests
And cooking the books
Seldom do you see
Honest men like me
A gent of good intent
Who's content to be

Master of the house
Doling out the charm
Ready with a handshake
And an open palm
Tells a saucy tale
Makes a little stir
Customers appreciate a bon-viveur
Glad to a friend a favour
Doesn't cost me to be nice
But nothing gets you nothing
Everything has got a little price

Master of the house
Keeper of the zoo
Ready to relieve 'em
Of a sou, or two
Watering the wine
Making up the weight
Picking up their knick-knacks
When they can't see straight
Everybody loves a landlord
Everybody's bosom friend
I do whatever pleases
*****! Won't I bleed 'em in the end!

Thenardier & Chorus: Master of the house
Quick to catch yer eye
Never wants a passer-by
To pass him by
Servant to the poor
Butler to the great
Comforter, philosopher
And lifelong mate!
Everybody's boon companion
Everybody's chaperone

Thenardier: But lock up your valises
*****! Won't I skin you to the bone!

Enter, monsieur
Lay down yer load
Unlace yer boots
And rest from the road
This weighs a ton
Travel's a curse
But here we strive
To lighten your purse
Here the goose is cooked
Here the fat is fried
And nothing's overlooked
Till I'm satisfied

Food beyond compare
Food beyond belief
Mix it in a mincer
And pretend it's beef
Kidney of a horse
Liver of a cat
Filling up the sausages
With this and that
Residents are more than welcome
Bridal suite is occupied
Reasonable charges
Plus some little extras on the side

Charge 'em for the lice
Extra for the mice
Two per cent for looking in the mirror
Here a little slice
There a little cut
Three per cent for sleeping with the window
When it comes to fixing prices
There are lots of tricks he knows
How it all increases
All those bits and pieces
*****! It's amazing how it grows!

Thenardier & Chorus: Master of the house
Quick to catch yer eye
Never wants a passer-by to pass him by
Servant to the poor
Butler to the great
Comforter, philosopher
And life-long mate
Everybody's boon companion
Gives 'em everything he's got

Thenardier: Dirty bunch of geezers
*****! What a sorry little lot!

Thenardiess: I used to dream
That I would meet a prince
But God Almighty,
Have you seen what's happened since?
'Master of the house'?
Isn't worth my spit!
Comforter, philosopher
And lifelong ****
Cunning little brain
Regular Voltaire
Thinks he's quite a lover
But there's not much there
What a cruel trick of nature
Landed me with such a louse
God knows have I've lasted
Living with this ******* in the house!

Thenardier & Chorus: Master of the house!

Thenardiess: Master and a half!

Thenardier & Chorus: Comforter, philosopher

Thenardiess: Don't make me laugh!

Thenardier & Chorus: Servant to the poor,
Butler to the great

Thenardiess: Hypocrite and toady
And inebriate!

Thenardier & Chorus: Everybody bless the landlord
Everybody bless his spouse

Thenardier: Everybody raise a glass!

Thenardiess: Raise it up the master's ***!

All: Everybody raise a glass ter the master of the house!

Guest - February 18, 2008 04:53 AM (GMT)!

Thenardier's part done w/ one background melody

EponineJavert - February 18, 2008 05:46 AM (GMT)
Thank you very much! :D

Turning - March 11, 2008 08:17 AM (GMT)
Afraid the link has done a Javert. :(

EponineJavert - March 13, 2008 03:56 AM (GMT)
Argh! Do you remember who posted it?

Turning - March 13, 2008 07:29 AM (GMT)
Well according to the cast list, cytriplethreat's brother is Thenardier. So you could PM him and ask him to upload the song again. *crosses fingers*

EponineJavert - March 13, 2008 11:14 PM (GMT)
I believe this is the file; in any case it has Thenardier and cytriplethreat on there:


Turning - March 22, 2008 10:53 AM (GMT)
I'm just listening to MotH now, and I must say that cytriple's brother is great as Thenardier! :D

EponineJavert - March 23, 2008 04:43 AM (GMT)
I most definitely agree! :D

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