Now for something a little different..., IE Ben gets off his ass and writes.

[Benjamin]

It's a Work in Progress, so be gentle.

First it's advisable that you see this because Ray Stevens is the freakin' man: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1KHOeVeCbFA

Anyway, although I haven't got to editing Book 2 of the now-renamed Archon Elementary series, this idea had too much potential to leave idle for too long. Originally, I was going to have Ben go streaking around on a dare but I thought the act would be more more within Gee's personality. Not that Ben wouldn't do it, but he's a bit of a harder sell. It's ago about time to give some of the limelight to another character, and I planned to have Gee as the central character in Book 3 for a long. I won't spoil the plot, but we'll see more of Gee's home life and his motivations for the crazy stuff he does in addition to glimpses of his past before Ben came on the scene.

As for the name change, I learned that there was an "Excelsior School" in Aaron Williams PS238. So for legal reasons if and when Archon Elementary is published, my life will be a lot less complicated. However I admit my work here is similar to Mr. Williams' in some respects but the tone of AE is focused more on humor. I just hope Archon Elementary stands on its own. If you want to see more of PS238, click on this link: http://www.ps238.com/

Oh, and OBEY THE SPAZZNIR!

[Gauntlet101010]

"Sweet! A breakthrough in transmatter dynamics. Now THIS is interesting" - This sort of talk doesn't jive with his super-thesaurus language used earlier. Plus, I question whether he shouldn't be into something a bit more ... childish? Like maybe a homemade gaming system someone cobbled together? Or a new iPod? Maybe a working theory on how to make a phaser? Kids *are* still kids and intellect =/= maturity.

Ben edgily paced - edgily is not a word. Or at least not a good one.

"It will still get me at least three or four candy bars." - Actually $5 *might* get you two. But I guess it'd depand on what kind they were.

she vibrated her body at superspeed and phased through the door into the darkened office - This is our first look at superpowers in the chapter. How about a bit more buildup and, maybe, some surprise in the narration?

At this point you still haven't really described the characters.Aside from feeding us a few scant bits of description. Of course this *is* chapter 3. but maybe a bit more physical descriptions can be worked in somewhere.

"Resistance is useless poddling! The almighty Spazznir will catch you!" - At this point the teacher really ought to let him know that running won't help because he knows who he is and it's only a matter of time.

All in all pretty good. Rather short, but I guess that's the target age group coming into play.