As everyone I think guessed, "Vernon" was a fictional character. He was created by someone who used to post at eGullet (and not very much) a good while back. It was fun while it lasted. He can read along, but he knows his posting rights are restricted, for the time being at least.
This took up a lot of people's time today, and I won't be sending out a bunch more PMs tonight. "Vernon" can get some rest, the old guy needs it.
Okay, just to add that I've been able independently to confirm it was former eGullet poster, Akebono. Naughty, naughty. ;)