Getting Away From Myself, [Anyone] I guess...

[Raydiance]

'A coward!' The word struck her like lighting. And she probably was one too. Why didn't she go? Why didn't she fight? She was a coward.

Angrily setting herself down, she wondered why she had been so stupid. Why hadn't she gone off, to fend her pack from the rebels? Lord knows. The pack was small, and quite a few wolves had all of a sudden disappeared in such a short time. But that was no excuse not to go. There were still able and vigorous wolves here. So why didn't she go?

Trying to put that aside only made matters worse. Quite a few wolves had all of a sudden disappeared in such a short time... Including her first love. 'And only.' She muttered under her breath. He had left her; know good-bye, not indication of going to do so. Maybe something had happened... She could never blame him.
Yet again, more thoughts flooded through her mind. Why wasn't she happy here? She was for about some time...

It was starting again. The dark, vicious, morbid thoughts that ran through her head. Things that she tried not to think of. Like death, for instance. Her mother being ripped apart, her warm, sticky flesh falling to the ground in ribbons. Blood vessels open, streaming blood all around her. The unnatural scream, her last breath wasted on that blood curdling howl.

The time Ray had tried to kill herself, still an adolescent. Her desolated walk towards the cliffs, where her grave was to be. The dizzying look down it's side, knowing that if she jumped, she would surely die.
What had stopped her? Not common sense. Thaddeaus. He was the one who persuaded her not to jump. Still, it wasn't as if she didn't try again.

The water, the rapids, how the ice cold water burned her like it was fire. How the stones along the edges cut her flesh, dying the water a livid red. Yet again Thaddeaus came to her, pulled her out, hid her from her adoptive families pack, and helped her regain her strength.

So why was she so unhappy? Her black and white fur blue around in the breeze, but the took no notice, too far in, in her nightmare.

[Carbion]

Silver orbs glinted harshly in the light, and following was the solemn visage of a reddish brute. His gaze was resting upon Raydiance as she stood in her troubled state, and his ebony nares probed the air for the presence of anyone else. It had been some time since he had seen Sielhae, but his mind was clear from worry about such things. He and Eladonis would return in time, but until then, Carbion must take the burden of leading. Seeing the she-wolf with such worry etched into her brow was upsetting to him, and resolutely he wished whatever troubled her away.

His paws went forth without stealth as he approached the Beta fae from the side, auds pricking and ready to listen without prejudice to what she had to say. Worry was knotted into his expression as he came forward, sinewy limbs stretching and pausing with each pace. His tail waved amiably however, despite his obvious gaze. These were threatening times, and he would understand, whatever the trouble might be.

"H'lo Ray. Are ye doing well these days? It has felt like ages since I last saw ye." He began tentatively, his voice softened in friendship.

[Raydiance]

Ray turned her head, startled. A pained expreesion fell upon her opts only for a moment, but was quickly covered up, a blank expression masking her face.
"Oh, allo Caribon..." She faltered, unsure of things.
"I'm... I'm fine," She began, taking longer pauses to gather up her words.
"Yes, I'm quite sorry if I've been such an inactive body in the pack for these past few days." A pink tongue quickly ran over her maw, out of habbit before she continued.
"I've been wandering, and thinking..." She mumbled, more so to herself, as if already she was drawing back into her desolated state.

Her oculus' darted towards the russet brute tentivly, as if expecting something horrid. Things didn't seem to be going to well for the past while, and Ray wouldn't be surprized if something was to happen.
Her white dipped banner waved weakly, trying to avert suspicion.

[Carbion]

Carbion smiled ever so lightly, shaking his heavy crown slowly at her reply. She looked and sounded like she had cast a wall up against him. Silver orbs lowered towards the ground then snapped back up to gaze upon her once more. He knew very well that Kulak had suddenly been lost to the terra and that times certainly had been hard for her. And that Kulak had given her much happiness. A light sigh rippled within him, and he lowered to his rusty haunches.

"Nay, Raydiance. Ye mean much to the harmony of this pack, just that ye are here is quite enough." He grunted lightly, looking back upon her. He felt nosy about his next statement. "I have been thinking about many things as well. Maybe we can ease our minds by talking a little."

[Raydiance]

"You wouldn't understand..." She shook her head, determind to be stubborn.
"It's not all about things that happened recently. No... It's okay." She felt slightly sick, as if a wave of nausia had replaced all the anger and sorrow that had been bottled up inside her had suddenly morphed into a virus. Her banner dropped a moment, but she allowed herself time to regroup. Clogs turning, she thought up a way to change the subject.

"I'm quite sorry I couldn't join you to go to the rebel lands... How's the seige going?" Yes, she had basically been living under a rock for quite some time.


//OoOoOo, since Ray hasn't been in her den for a while, maybe a fever or sickness could have overcome her? That would give Dachte something to do xD

[Carbion]

Carbion smiled lightly. He could understand more than she probably thought, but he did not press on the matter. If Raydiance was to be tight-mouthed, there was no need to make her irritable, too.

"Eh." Carbion snorted at her last question, a wrinkle of disgust appearing upon his snout. "Oh, forgive meh for tha', Ray. It went well, nae wolf was hurt. Bu' there wus a wulf nearby that looked jus' like Berik, tha' Alpha of Celestial, who threat'nd Torcian! When I asked Berik 'bout it, he denied it. He tol' me it might be his father, Whitefire. Bu' I think he mus' be a traitor. 'Tis complicatin', in many ways." Carbion sighed a bit. He had not talked to anyone about that, and it felt like a burden was off his shoulder. His silver eyes returned to Raydiance.

"Ye look like ye ate some bad meat, m'friend. Are ye sure ye feel alright?"

[Raydiance]

Raydiance listend patiently, nodding her head slowly, showing she was listening. She was quite please that no wolf was hurt, but the thought of the alpha of Celestial... Berik... It seemed quite odd indeed.
"You never know." She said thoughtfully, blue tinted optics looking upward.
"It might have been, but indeed, it does sound unlikley." Her banner twitched in a half amused manner. No, the husky femme was most indefinitly not a wolf of many words. A smile flittered across her maw for about a half second, as she imagened what it would be like if she was giving the position of story teller. 'What a disaster it would be.' The silly thought seemed to cheer her up for a moment.

"Hardly." She grunted, pushing herself into a sort of crouching-sitting position.
"I assume it would be the lack of shelter... I've been depriving myself of my den for a while." True enough. She had been wandered the neutrals, lurking around, basically avoiding contact with most.
"Nope, not spoiled meat." She repeated, once again lacking the elements to strike up a successful conversation.

[Carbion]

Carbion grunted gruffly in response, his tail patting upon the ground feebly a couple of times. Raydiance was a quiet one alright, and always had been since he had first saw her. It had taken nearly a season to even speak with her. His silver orbs darted about as he tried to find a subject that would interest her.

"Ye know, Ray," He began, a playful gleam appearing in his silvery orb, "Dachte an' ye look righ' cute when I've seen ye two tog'ther." His lips twitched a bit as he tried to hide his smile and maintain a serious demeanor. He wanted her to respond a little. Hopefully, she wouldn't get huffy over a little comment like that. He did not know her boundaries, and hoped that he hadn't stepped over one. He changed the subject nicely. "Eh, serious'y, ye need yer sleep."

[Alkiva]

Alkiva had been meaning to get out and exercise her limbs for quite some time. After the big kabubble during the festivities, she hadn't been out too much, and was eager to ease her mind. A trace of worry crossed her mind- it had been long since she'd seen tale of either Eladonis or Sielhae. Where had they gone off to? They'd be back soon enough, she hoped, in case any other, events, came up. She wondered vaguely how the tussle with the rebels had gone. She'd seen Carbion afterwards, but none of the others. Wow, she thought, I really haven't been out much!

So she'd chosen her path toward the Eventide Thicket, figuring she'd be sheltered at least from the cold winds that were becoming more and more frequent. She grimaced as one chillingly tickled her fur, and taunted her unprotected face. Shaking her head, she wandered on, wondering who was about. Standing still for a moment, she tested the air. Her auds and flag perked when she recognized two of the scents easily- Raydiance and Carbion, and they weren't far away.

A bright smile upon her maw, she picked up an easy lope toward them, very much excited to see not only her mate, but her old friend again. How long had it been since she'd seen Ray? She couldn't remember. Nonetheless, she pattered on, and soon came upon them.

She entered the area, a few twigs dangling from the tassles in her thick flag, a smile upon her maw that let her salmon tongue loll out the side. But immediately, she sensed a tension. Not an argumental tension, but by Ray's posture, she could tell something wasn't quite right. She lowered her head, giving them each a polite nod, then sat down, a placid look on her face, trying to hide her confusion. She smiled warmly at Ray, tail thumping dully against the grround.

"Good e'en, Ray! My, 'tis great to see you again! How have the times treated you, friend?" she said, keeping the tone of her voice positive. She wasn't going to question, knowing it might make Ray feel uncomfortable. Truthfully, she was glad to see her. It felt like it had been eyons since she'd talked to one of her friends. That made her think of Scythe, who she hadn't seen in a while either. She had a lot of catching up to do. Looking to Carbion, she gave him a small smile, but the look in her eyes was that of a question. Am I imposing? Should I just go? She knew sometimes, if she had a problem, it was much easier just to talk to one other at a time, and wondered vaguely if three really was a crowd.

[Raydiance]

Ray pulled her brows together, not quite angerly, but somewhat amused, as the rust colored brujo kept picking subjects that she tended to avoide.
"Caribon, I n'er could go for another. I would feel as if I'd betrayed Kulak. Maybe he will never come back, but then neither will my heart." She sighed heavily, fondly remembering 'her Kulak' for a moment.
"No... I really don't know." She shrugged, her mood suddenly shifting into a neutral position.

A grin flashed across her maw, her optics clearing for a moment.
"Eh, mebbe I do." She mimicked, but stopped abruptly. Her head turned away, currious to seek out the sent that had suddenly came to her nose.
"Allo, Alkiva." She returned the nod, a little cheered up by seeing 'er old friends.
"Long time no see." She paused a moment, waiting for the femme to finnish.
"Times have been hard, keeping me up and thinking really." Her voice was still on that little neutral line, dangerously close to falling, but hopefully ready to rise. Currious, it was, how she was quite the moody lupine.

[Carbion]

Carbion's auds perked and silver optics brightened even more as Alkiva joined them. Raydiance seemed to have a lot on her mind, it would be perfect to have a nice play in the autumn sun, before the snows came and hindered everyone's movement. A light bark of recognition and happiness exited Carbion's maw, inviting Alkiva to join them. Raydiance did not need solitude, she needed company. Tail waving, Carbion came to greet his mate with a wolf-like embrace; his muzzle touching her neck briefly. He turned back to Raydiance and lowered his chest swiftly to the ground, paws spread wide in a position of play.

"Ye makin' fun o' me, Ray?!" Carbion asked, acting as if he were offended that his packmate had mimicked his voice. "Ifen ye won't accept anyun fer a mate, ye can atleast hav' loads o' friends. Righ', Kiva?" Carbion laughed, stubborn to let the heaviness of recent thoughts ruin his or any of his pack's day.

With a gruff bark, Carbion charged at Raydiance, a playful growl rumbling within his chest. Coming to an intense and dust-throwing halt, he nudged at her flank with a huge grin upon his maw. Rushing back to Alkiva, he nipped at her aud, acting like a rabid young whelp. He hoped that they would join him and get excited, and cease to worry about the danger-filled days and the past. Tail wagging he stood and waited for some returned playful attacks, looking right proud of himself.

[Alkiva]

Doing a giddy leap sideways, Alkiva was easily enticed by Carbion's bounding youthfullness to play. Giving a few short yaps, and bounding around, tail waving high in the air like a pup's, she darted around them, occasionally giving them a thwap with her tail. A fiery light dancing in her eyes, she narrowed in first on Carbion, and bounded toward him. Instead of running, it was more like she was taking leaps toward him, paws high above the ground. She stopped jujst feet away, paws spread before her as he had, rump high in the air. Then she lept sideways, as a cat would, hackles raised in mock agression.

Turning to Ray, she bounded over to her, and paused, just short of a collision. Here, she picked herself up into the air, and lept over the black and white solf. Laughing heartily, she landed on the other side, salmon tongue lolling out the sidee of her mouth.

"Aye, ye can say that again Carbion! C'mon, let's have a race, shall we?"

She then stood, as still as she could, but she quivvered with anticipation. Her flag was held in an arc over her back, her auds perked as she looked from one to the other. It was just the day for a good run, and she was glad Carbion had made the mood so much lighter.