Name: The Musical- Broadway Debut! Coming soon!



ENTRY#1

Now coming to Broadway: Name!

Watch with geneological joy as the actors trace their last names back through history! Along the way, listen to the beauty of their voices as they sing the newest Broadway blockbuster songs, such as:

"Why is my last name of Celtic origin, when both of my parents are black?"

"I climbed my family tree looking for my Great-great-great Auntie"

"I want my second cousin removed!"

"Chuck-Chuck-bo- buck"

And of course, the #1 song in all of Broadway history:

"My parents conceived me in the misspelled cemetary"



ENTRY#2

Clancy! The Musical!

This is a musical about a minstrel that followed his beloved Boris for many years before Boris died of a massive coronary event/bear attack/indigestion. (All at once, it took a lot to kill Boris.)
The musical opens with the first act right after Boris dies and starts with Clancy coming out onto the stage, playing a sad melody on his sackbutt.
The first song is Being Boris. This song is a lament and memorial to the great Boris.

Being Boris means never having to say, I'm full
Being Boris means never having to be too cool
Not like Sneaky Pete, who needs a woman's treat
Being Boris means you are strong, like a bull

After this he sings a song called standing alone, followed by the song "Bears are really mean."
Clancy then starts looking for the spirit of Boris in others. This brings us to the fourth song and the last of act 1. "Hello, are you hungry?"

Act II

Clancy enters the cave of the hermit and is sent on a vision quest.
This act starts with the hermit singing: Looking at it wrong.

You do not see opportunity
that we have in community
of many a clover and useless thing
You just need to see the unity
of our acquired immunity
that comes forth when we sing

During his vision quest he comes across bears singing "the black widow's picnic" and fish singing "a unicorn named Charlie."

He comes out and sings a song called "I see the light!"

Act III
Clancy goes forth to seek his own fortune. His first song is "I can do this!"
He walks in the footsteps of Boris and starts eating until he grows larger and larger (singing the song "Food") and the gravity he causes brings him a minstrel who sings "For love of Clancy."

Act IV
Clancy changes his name to Boris and gives his minstrel the name Clancy. This is done with the song "I name you me"
Boris then descends from heaven and they sing a duet of a modified version of "Being Boris" with the bear joining them.

Act IV
Clancy changes his name to Boris and gives his minstrel the name Clancy. This is done with the song "I name you me"
Boris then descends from heaven and they sing a duet of a modified version of "Being Boris" with the bear joining them.
The lights then dim and all that is left is the new Boris. He softly sings "My time is now."



ENTRY#3

Coming Soon: Jovah, the Musical!

The opening song invokes the 72-letter secret Name of God, which is known to slay anyone who hears it unless they have been properly purified in advance. It can also kill the speaker, so trust us: these singers are REALLY elite, because they are the only ones who survived the auditions and dress rehearsals. (The director is fine, but he wears earplugs.)

We'd have an exciting plot summary here, but the show has already caused the deaths of a dozen reviewers, blinded six and deafened eight. Three more were found gibbering nonsense in their seats and have been quietly removed to the Cuckoo's Nest Sanatorium in hopes that they will quickly recover.

The mysterious composer, one Aaron H. Kohen, has canceled the lease on his apartment and is nowhere to be found. He was last seen lingering around the Egyptian wing of the Metropolitan Museum of Art, looking speculatively at the mummies.



ENTRY#4

Musical: The Doctor - Who?

This musical is based on the fantastic British Sci-fi show, Doctor Who.
For those of you who don't really know, the main character is named The Doctor (when someone talks to him they call him Doctor). Part of the idea is that nobody knows his true name with the exception of one character named Rive Song (also known as Melody Pond). We still do not know.
The most recent development in the show describes how "Silence will fall when the question is asked... the first question... hidden in plain sight." The question is "Doctor Who?" The main reason this will be a problem is because the race that will be asked, the Teselecta, cannot refuse answering questions, and "Doctor Who?" is the question that must NEVER be answered. So you can see the problem: the question that must never be answered will have to be answered and then Silence will fall (the Silence is a sort of religious order).

Some of the songs:

Song 1: Into - In the Tardis (which is the Doctor Who theme with lyrics)

Song 4: Oh, River. (happy song, The Doctor sings to River Song about all the crazy things she has done to him)

Song 7: Save us (has a sort of tune of longing. Amy and Rory (the Doctor's companions) are basically reminiscing about how the Doctor saved them and they need to be saved again

Song 11: The Question (threatening tune. a veiled being (the main antagonist) asks the Teselecta "Doctor Who?" (long and elaborate)

Song 12: Answers and Falls (only moments after song 11. Teselecta sing the answer, silence falling. In the end we learn his name was revealed but we dont know what it is).

Song 15: Next Stop - Everything (to the tune of the same Doctor Who Theme, with lyrics. all about the Doctor's old travels)

Song 18: Back in the Tardis - Reprise (the Doctor wins and all is good with the universe).

Note that this musical is still in the works and will not be released until late 2013, when the show gets to the setting of this great musical.



ENTRY#5

From the folks who brought you "The Generic Sitcom" and "Very Ordinary Movie", it's "Bob: The Musical". Come and see life through the eyes of Bob, just another guy doing just another job in just another town. Remember every forgettable moment in the normal day of a normal man.

From the casual opening number "Bob's Morning Coffee and Paper" (which tells, predictably, of Bob having a cup of coffee while paging through the daily news), the pace of the show is set.

In Act One, the morning goes on, with such songs as:
"Stuck in Traffic with Bob" - As Bob drives through the streets of Ordinary Town on his way to his job in the Normal Office Building, he listens to his favorite radio show "Mornings with Bob".
Bob finally becomes aware that he's always hated the radio Bob, and tunes him out for the last time as he pulls up to work.
"That Joke Again" (aka "Bob's Lament") - Every job has that one guy who thinks he's a comedian. Unfortunately, the only joke this one seems to know is that Bob is a palindrome. Listen as Bob despairs in this duet with Funny Guy who sings exclusively in palindromes.
"Just Another Lunch" - A trip to the break room, a brown bag, and a softly drifting song closes Act One


Act Two has our Bob finishing the work day with an upbeat set that includes:
"Ahead of the Curve" - Bob has been invigorated by his noontime meal, and shifts into high gear, filing and compiling, and certain that he will be done on time today.
"Just One More Report" - In which Bob has not only finished the day early, but has been given a final task by The Boss. He finishes this last report and doesn't let it ruin his day.
"Punching the Clock" - With the last report turned over to The Boss, Bob logs out of the system, punches the clock and heads out for the day - right on time.

Our hero Bob has completed his day, and in the closing number "Rest and Relaxation" he moves from a nice simple supper to sitting out on his porch and watching the sun set on another normal day.



ENTRY#6

"The Naughty Princess"

The tale goes...

There once was a poor, disheveled looking young woman, abused and neglected by her three sisters and awful step-mother.

Luckily one day, she is visited by her fairy god-....mariachi band, who plucks a few enchanted strings turning her into a beautiful princess.

As a princess, she attends a coincidentally coinciding ball where she meets a handsome prince, who asks for her hand.

However, the clock strikes...2... and she runs off before she reverts and is caught out. Unluckily, she loses a shoe; one made of ... tacos. Unlucky for her the road back home is fairly rough and unkempt, resulting in a furious eruption of boils and sores.

The prince scours the land until he happens upon the small hut the "princess" lives in. There, he attempts to put on her shoe, but with all the sores and boils and swollennessyness, the shoe does not fit. So he leaves and continues his search.

Embittered, she hunts down her fairy mariachi band, cursing them into stone models. Meanwhile, she finds her (Jamaican) prince, and locks him into a closet. As for the Mariachi band, she keeps them forever entombed in her new palace, forced to shoo away unsuspecting callers.

She shrugs off her despised mantel of house girl, and becomes a naughty sorceress, forever alone.



ENTRY#7

Nameless: The Musical. None of the characters have names!

Follow Some Guy as he is joined by his friends, Comic Relief and Wise Elder, to win over the girl of his dreams, Love Interest, and rescue her from Ex-Boyfriend.

Come see the musical that has all the following chart toppers:

My Life Sucks Because I Am Single/Hey, You're Cute! - Some Guy & Love Interest
I'm Here To Make Jokes - Comic Relief
Conflict Created! - Ex-Boyfriend
Chance Meeting - Some Guy & Wise Elder
Why Won't You Come Back To Me?/Time to Kidnap You Now - Ex-Boyfriend
Teaching Obvious Skills - Wise Elder
Time To Think of a Plan - Some Guy & Comic Relief
I'm Trying To Win You Over Through Song/It's Not Working - Ex-Boyfriend & Love Interest
I'm Going to Beat You Up! - Some Guy & Ex-Boyfriend
I Hope I Get Saved Soon - Love Interest
We're No Longer Important - Comic Relief & Wise Elder
Last Minute Save/How Could Kidnapping Fail? - Some Guy, Love Interest & Ex-Boyfriend
Now We're In Love - Some Guy & Love Interest
Big Finale/Everything's Resolved - Some Guy, Love Interest, Ex-Boyfriend, Comic Relief & Wise Elder

And the Tony goes to...



Honourable Mention: Jack-in-the-Box


#3- Tomahto
#6- Jubbyyy



Runner-Up: 100,000 meat


#4- TheGreatReferencer



3rd Place Winner: 250,000 meat


#7- Numby55



2nd Place Winner: Radio Button Candy


#1- Aeshma



1st Place Winner: 1,000,000 meat


#2- KoL Miners Daughter



Grand Prize: Fly-By-Knight Heraldry Form


#5- Avandor


See you all next week's Tony's! ;-)

xoxo
PA