Saint Patrick's Flare

[PrincessAvariella]

We're totally pretending that I didn't have to have a belated St. Patty's party b/c of being at a YAA benefit Saturday night. And we're totally pretending that this St. Patty's flare you're sending me is totally loot that I got from partying too hard. Totally.



ENTRY#1

Well you know about the shamrock and the 4-leaf clover? the two non-booze symbols of Saint Patrick's day? well those are old. well they are still good. but i think barney stinson said it best - new is always better.

well anyways there now exists a new one but it takes a history lesson.
So you may know of Saint Patrick, the irishman after whom this delightful drink excuse day is named. Well what people dont know is that his best bro, Saint Brotrick.
Saint patrick was known for his evangelism. St. Brotrick was known for his brovangelism. he helped make the irish people bros. actually st. brotrick is credited with the tradition of drinking alcohol. but he had his own bit of special flair. he always wore leather. why leather? because his sacred irish bro code was made of leather. the only copy that is known to have existed has been destroyed but there have been records. plus there was this napkin and it said that everything the napkin says is true because the napkin says so; same napkin confirms the irish bro code.
St. Brotrick died shortly before st. patrick. he was actually killed by someone who had a different brolosophy, but the killer died of drunkness.
true story

so what in the name of german alternative rock band Falco does this have to do with new saint patrick's day? well in honor of st. brotrick, st. patrick took up some leather. and that is where the new bit of flair comes up: LEATHER BEER COASTERS. they are green for St. Patrick, leather for st. Brotrick, and for beer because well... beer. HIC

now as it turns out, 21st century kingdom tried to replicate it. and basically drunkards who use them can find many new things in a tavern located in the forest



ENTRY#2

You acquire an item: Piece of the Leprechaun's Gold!

As you turn the gold over in your hand, you realize that this is probably the luckiest charm ever (not for the leprechaun, obviously). You decide to fashion it into a necklace!

Once per day, you can use the necklace to acquire an effect: "Charmed, I'm sure" (20 turns).

When the effect is active, the character gains +X% combat initiative, with X being equal to 1/10th of the players moxie, as the monster/enemy is too enamored with the player to attack them. Additionally, the monster will drop all non-conditional items during that time. Additionally additionally, the charm is green! Kinda weird...



ENTRY#3

Missed Saint Paddy's day, did we? Well, I've done walked around in my spoils, so I guess I can be giving them to you. See, I was crowned "Green Liver" at the local pub and shall pass to you the rainments of my royal title.
First, I bestow upon you the emerald faux fur cape. It's interior is lined with satin with a layer of waterproof material in the middle to protect the wearer from those with lesser constitutions. It is machine washable, allowing for repeated use no matter how many people fall before your drinking might.
Next, the last potato. This is a silver half of a potato, with its core removed, set atop a small scepter. It isn't only a reminder of the old country, but a handy goblet that shows any challengers that your Irish blood runs greener than any Vulcan's.
Last we have the Crown of the Stone. Made of silver with emerald highlights, the real crown jewel is a piece of bluestone shaped like a clover in the center. The patron of the regalia actually acquired a piece of the Blarney Stone, endowing the wearer with the eloquence to speak confidently no matter how many green drinks he or she may have consumed.
Of course that's just what the bartender told me they did after I won the drinking contest.



ENTRY#4

Oh what a night! We all made our way from bar to bar... representing the long journey of *mumblemumble* through the home land! We drank - oh how we drank! - to represent... the thirst of the soul for... uh, green beer! But the best part was the bar swag. I noticed in all the reveling that you were conspicuously absent, so I picked you up a little something so you could prove you were out partying with the best of us

There was so much to choose from, but what says "Flair!" better than actual flares? Well, flares and the gun that shoots them! Ah yes, here it is, way down at the bottom of the sack.

From the depths of the swag bag out comes a small, snub-nosed firearm. The distinguishing features of this particular flare gun are that it has been haphazardly painted a strikingly emerald shade of green and the muzzle has been beaten such that those looking down the barrel are met with something that vaguely resembles a shamrock. Yes, this beauty was definitely modified by someone who had been drinking dangerous amounts, by which I mean it's the perfect accompaniment to St. Patrick's Day!

Along with the weapon itself, of course, are the flares. Can't be in full flair without flares! "Are they green?" I hear you ask. No, of course not. If, by some miracle this beast manages to expel the flare, you will be treated to the usual hot red streak that signals someone is in need of assistance.

Wait... something's missing. Sure, it looks like a drunk made it, but how can you truly celebrate unless you, too, are drunk? Hmm, that's strange. The handle is... sloshing. And it smells... peaty. You haven't fired off a shot, so you're pretty sure the fiery smell, like the bad guy in some crazy urban legend, is coming FROM INSIDE THE GUN! Sure enough, a small nub on the side unscrews and gives you access to the hollow of the handle, currently filled with Connemara single malt Irish whiskey from the smell of it.

So, if anyone questions you, just knock back a shot, aim the shamrock at them, and ask if they have the luck of the Irish. Chances are they'll stop asking stupid questions and start asking the right one for such a pretty lass: Can I buy ya a drink?



ENTRY#5

Item: Aisle Emerald

This sparkling moss-green stone is said to grant the wearer iron luck, a golden tongue and a silver constitution.

At least, that's what the guy at the pub told you when he was selling these. He was a bit inebriated, so maybe he got it wrong.

Enchantments:
Increases adventures from drinking as "Ode to Booze" 2x/daily
+12 moxie
+12 muscle
Resistance to Poison from snakes

Once per day, can increase the duration of all current buffs by 5 turns.



ENTRY#6

A green box and envelope await you. Inside the box are A necklace of plastic green beads with a few little things attached to it, and a spray bottle.

The envelope contains the following note:
So sorry you missed out on the St. Patrick's Day festivities, but no one else ever needs to know. Thanks to your friends at Party Fakes, you can say you were there, wherever 'there' needed to be. (note- we at Party Fakes recommend that you make up a party so that no one who was actually at the party you claim to be at can catch you in the act). Just wear the Party Leftover necklace included in the box and spritz yourself with the "Next Day Scent" included. Each trinket on the necklace has a suggested story for why it's no longer at the peak of party use. Feel free to use our suggestions, or make your own.

The necklace contains the following:
-Plastic shotglass with a faint green stain
It must have had some sort of green booze in it, but you 'can't remember' what it was...
-Light-up four leaf clover that doesn't light
The battery must be dead from flashing all night.
-Rubber leprechaun stamp with dried up green ink pad
Wow... you must have been leaving little leprechauns on everyone in sight, you completely used up the ink.
-Sleeve of "Kiss me, I'm <blank>" stickers with only one left, and it's filled in.
Looks like about a dozen would fit in the little pocket, but you must have either given them out or wore them yourself. The last one is filled in as "Kiss me, I'm Irriss", obviously you were too drunk to worry about spelling.
-Green marker cap with no marker
Oh no! You must have lost the marker. This was the marker that was used for your stickers, as the misspelled sticker is written on in green ink.

The bottle of "Next Day Scent" has a small card that reads "St. Patrick's Day Blend" attached to the bottle by a green elastic cord. The smell reminds you of whiskey with a hint of stale beer.



ENTRY#7

St. Patrick's Monstrously Huge Enchanted Green Beer Shamrock Necklace!

This be an enormous shamrock-shaped necklace (about the size of the average human torso) made from 17 giant green glass balls strung along a hollow tube. Each ball is filled with green beer, and floating within each one is a small shamrock garnish. Between each ball are huge, flashing green LED letters that loudly spell out ST PATRICK'S DAY every few seconds. The necklace hangs around the neck from the top shamrock "leaf". A convenient straw positioned at the base of that "leaf" allows the wearer to drink out of the entire necklace through the hollow tubing; each ball also detaches on its own piece of tubing, should the bearer wish to share with a friend. Being made almost wholly of glass, one would assume that the necklace would be extremely heavy, but that assumption is entirely false: due to Irish luck and the blessing of St. Patty, the necklace actually weighs almost nothing at all! St. Patrick's enchantment also causes anybody who sees the necklace to suddenly be filled with the irresistable urge to consume large quantities of alcoholic beverages and sing bawdy Irish drinking songs, no matter their nationality (or the quality of their singing voice, for that matter). So be careful where you wear this, lest your dreadfully dismal and depressing "first quarter earnings (or lack thereof)" business meeting suddenly descend into a whirl of utter chaos, bad singing, and complete drunken abandon. On second thought, that might'nt be bad at all, aye? (Oh, and don't worry about the inevitable skull-crushing hangover the next day: St. Patty's blessing also has that covered. For everyone but your insufferably annoying colleague in cubicle twelve, that is.)

[PrincessAvariella]

Honourable Mention: 5 Disassembled Clovers



#2- Aeshma
#3- Granite_Grizz



Runner-Up: 100,000 meat



#4- malq



3rd Place Winner: 250,000 meat


#7- Razgorth



2nd Place Winner: Radio Button Candy


#5- Tomahto



1st Place Winner: 1,000,000 meat


#6- Avandor



Grand Prize: Mr. Accessory


#1- TheGreatReferencer