Mother's Day Jokes

[PrincessAvariella]

ENTRY#1

Last year I got my mom a Mother's Day gift that left her speechless.

In fact, she didn't speak to me for three weeks.



ENTRY#2

While assembling furniture, Mary asked her roommate's five-year-old son to bring her a screwdriver. "Do you want a 'Daddy' screwdriver or a 'Mommy' screwdriver?" the little boy asked. Confused with the question, Mary said, "Bring me a 'Mommy' screwdriver." The child came back and handed her a butter knife.



ENTRY#3

Three sons competed to give their mum the very best prezzie of all.
The first sent his mum a nice new car with an on-board navigation system and all the newest innovations.
The second sent her a celebrity chef to make her a divine meal of the sort she had never had before.
The third sent her a parrot that recited Shakespeare and sang songs from The Phantom of the Opera.
They waited impatiently for letters from their mum telling them what she thought.
The first letter arrived and it said: "Billy, I do not drive anymore and all these fancy gadgets just confuse me. Also, I think the car is plotting against me. It keeps asking me questions, like it wants to know all my habits. Thank you anyway. I am sure you are not trying to kill me on purpose."
The second letter arrived the next day: "Wallace. Some strange man named Gordon Ramsey said you sent him. He yelled a lot, made a huge mess and insulted my kitchen, my cooking and me! He then made this really weird stuff. I think he was trying to poison me. I am sure you did not mean for me to be insulted and assaulted though. Thank you."
Finally her third son received his letter. "My dearest son Joseph. You truly love your momma, don't you? The chicken was delicious. Thank you."



ENTRY#4

Heres a Mother Joke i found:

"
Mother to son: Iām warning you. If you fall out of that tree and break both your legs, donāt come running to me!
"

theres of course hundreds out there, hope you are presented with some gems!




ENTRY#5

A recent college student who lives alone decided to visit his mother for Mother's Day. When he arrived he learned, to his horror, that his mother is in the hospital with a condition that is likely to end her life soon. Not wasting any time, he goes to the hospital thinking about how he did not appreciate her enough in his youth. When he arrived at the hospital he found his mother, alert but weak. He told her "I am so sorry. I think that for this mother's day I will tell you the one thing all mothers want to hear in their life. Something I do not remember telling you enough before... You were right. Getting a BA in English was a bad choice"



ENTRY#6

Two kids are talking to each other. One says, "I'm really worried. My dad works twelve hours a day to give me a nice home and good food. My mom spends the whole day cleaning and cooking for me. I'm worried sick!"

The other kid says, "What have you got to worry about? Sounds to me like you've got it made!"

The first kid says, "What if they try to escape?"

[PrincessAvariella]

Honourable Mention: 50,000 meat


#2- Blue Magic
#4- Yarglefoot



Runner-Up: 100,000 meat


#5- TheGreatReferencer



3rd Place- 500,000 meat


#1- sk1j



2nd Place: Radio Button Candy


#6- Stolla Stiroa



1st Place Winner: Mayflower Bouquet

#3- KoL Miners Daughter