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Posted: Jun 19 2012, 01:32 AM
Group: GKOL DJ
Member No.: 194
Joined: 24-April 10
Listeners were asked to create a game show it cannot have been created before and must be a game. It must have a game show hos and must have a game show helper. It also must in one way or another incorporate kol fir a chance aat 1 million meat and a hot egg!
Posted: Jun 19 2012, 01:35 AM
Group: GKOL DJ
Member No.: 194
Joined: 24-April 10
Entry 1 Ssarl Winner!!!!
THE CHALLENGE OF THE SNAKE
The host is Werebear - in the form of a massive bear, but also decked out in full princess regalia, with a pretty dress, a sceptre and all that. With the exception of the tiara, which has viking horns on it. Werebear conducts the entire game from the back of a long-suffering shetland pony, who wears this mistreatment with quiet dignity.
The assistant is an enormous snake which is constantly on fire. Her name is Trish. Trish is wearing a scandalously short skirt, a tight sequinned top and far too much eyeshadow and lipstick. Her job is to point at the games and the fabulous prizes, which she does through impressive contortion of her slithery body.
The prize is a series of worthless, but unobtainable trinkets. Today's str coprolited, 100 million-year old pieces of fossilised poop. The princess explains that after today, this poop will never be available again.
The contestants are KoL players, lured in through the promise of exclusive loot. As soon as they cross the threshold of the games compound, they are rendered unconcious with electric prods. The next thing they know, they are fastened to their podiums with leather and steel restraints.
The tasks are a series of physical and mental tests. They're on an escalating scale - they start off trivial (how many marshmallows can you cram in your mouth, solve this anagram: Baa Hefty Tushes) to build up people's false hopes. They get gradually more taxing ('identify this object: catsup or ketchup'). Contestants who succeed are rewarded with food and booze - and each time this happens, more coprolites are added to the grand prize. Those contestants who fail are punished - a punishment determined by the other players.
At first, the options available for punishment are mild humiliations. Buckets of slime from the ceiling, having your trousers removed by a hobo monkey, that sort of thing. As the coprolite prize grows, however, more harsh options are made available. Small electric shocks, submersion in ice, being made to listen to Nicka Minaj. As contestants become more competitive (and more drunk), these more violent options are employed with ever-growing frequency.
Eventually, while several contestants have been eliminated (via unconciousness, if nothing else), those that remain stand to gain what is now a pile of 953 coprolites. Their final task is simple: retrieve the flaming egg which sits in a basket, suspended high above the studio floor. They are provided with a series of materials which which they might construct a ladder or pyramid of somesuch - steel beams, wooden pools, nailguns, welding equipment.
Drunken and crazed with egg-lust, the contestants immediately start murdering each other with the equipment provided. People are impaled, crushed, and in one memorable case, speared with their own severed body parts. Finally, one contestant is left, standing proud, ready to claim his price - Spoon Elemental.
Spoon is immediately eaten by the snake. He is delicious. Werebear quietly removes the coprolite pile, taking them home for purposes that are best not explored further.
Entry 2 Yarglefoot Third Place
***PIECE OF MEAT*****
Game show the whole family maybe better not watch!
Contestants race to answer questions about the MMOG Kingdom of Loathing
Every wrong answer by a contestant results in a random part of their anatomy being removed my an awaiting Micromechamach Surgeon, and placed into a large pile onstage.
If at any time the answer is "11, thats just ridiculous" "37, IN A ROW?" or "Knob Goblin <anything>" - the winning contestant is allowed to have a previously-removed piece of their anatomy returned and replaced in the pile by the corresponding portion of the Host or their assistant.
The host and their assistant of course, do their best to ingratiate themselves to the contestants, instead of the audience!
At the end of the run of questions, the contestant with the most of their body remaining gets to claim a great big pile of bleeding body parts to send in a brown paper package to Asymmetric Publications Inc, to see whether you can swap meat for cash.
Yeh OK dumb game, but thats what you get for 10 minutes
Entry 3 Granite Grizz Second Place
Hello Ladies, Gentlemen and Adventurers of all kinds. My name is Jick and I would like to welcome you to "Moxie of Mutilation!"
For our first time viewers, let me run down an overview of the game. First our seven contestants (one of each class) will have to walk past Giant Sleeping Babies. Though, the creatures are young, they are vicious if woken. Any contestant smacked by one of the babies' saliva covered hands is out. The first three to be smacked will be left to the babies until they can lull them to sleep.
In the second round, the winners of the first round (or the three that kept from being smacked longest) have to attempt to seduce our guest assistant for the night. We comb the entire Kingdom for celebrity guest stars and the contestants don't even know who they will try to woo until the begining of the second round. The losing two contestants will be given to the Knob Matrons for "training".
Whoever successfully wins the favor of our guest assistant gets the chance to test the Dance Floor. The dance floor is littered with moving mines that are programmed to move in response to the contestants attempts to dance through. If they have the Moxie, they will reach the other side to be showered with riches and greatness by the guest assisstant. If they fail, they will be showering the guest assisstant and the studio audience with their remains.
All of this and, possibly more, on this installment of "Moxie of Mutilation!"
This post has been edited by Tobymac on Jun 19 2012, 02:12 AM