Valentine Special II - reviews, Offer comfort to our poor High King here

The travesty is here.

You certainly picked a travesty. Slash, girly!Legolas, bitchy!Arwen, and high school fic, all wrapped up in one saccharine-sweet package. I greatly enjoyed Fingon's reaction, by the way. I'd suggest he read more slash fics like this before he tackles something like "To Be Free From Pasts and Shadows" or "The Prisoner of Imladris" though.

I hate high school fics. I just flat-out fucking loathe them. Ignoring the fact that LotR or anime characters being thrown into an American high school is ridiculous, what is so fascinating about high school anyway? Nobody who graduates from high school thinks what goes on there is interesting, because they have more difficult problems to deal with than homework, mean girls on the cheerleading squad, and cute boys in math class.

I mean, if you want to throw non-modern characters into a modern or futuristic setting, why not put them on a spaceship? Or in the Olympics? Or on a submarine? Or in the middle of a modern war? Just ANY PLACE more exciting than high school.

Hey, that would make more sense. Why DIDN'T this author use Arwen and Eowyn? Or is she one of those slash writers who treats all the female canon characters like shit?

Nice dark riff, Constantine.

Uh-huh. One little tip, "secret" admirer: once you shower your crush with balloons, roses, and cards, you're not much of a "secret" anymore. I'm just saying.

While I think book!Arwen was rather bland and boring (though since she was such a minor character, it's understandable) and movie!Arwen was just mopey and annoying, I disapprove of bitch!Arwen as much as you do.

*confused* When did Boromir turn into a redneck? "I ain't got no book-learnin', so I don't write so nice."

Even if it's not original, I love Gandalf. He's usually the only character who still has a brain in these fics.

They sure did. I'm picturing Legolas as a trannie now.

Loved your characters' reactions! Poor Fingon. Give him a break to let this all sink in.

Nice job.

That was the idea. First Valentine Special also had slashiness, but it was even more obscure and I couldn't get Fingon to catch on. But blatant slash with sex scenes like the two fics you mentioned would have been too much, because I would have to write both the initial confusion and outrage at smut. To say nothing about S&M. So most of MST would be a big Fingon freakout, which would make riffs too long (I have that problem already) and not leave much space for snarky comments. And him not freaking out properly would be to OOC for my tastes - I try to keep my sporkers in character the best I can. So the idea was to first initiate him gently. I'll probably put a lovey-dovey "mature" fic before going into torture, though. Same with het: there is impending smut in Adelaide, and then there is a torture/rapefic waiting when I catch up with Angey.

But I'm glad you like it. I was worried that I might have downplayed it or blown it out of proportions.

Me too. And high school was probably the most boring period in my life. I was bullied in Junior High, but I was left alone in HS. As far as the gossip went, the only thing to listen to were the reports of "party animals". And that's just talking who got drunk how much during weekend, who had to be carried home, and who entered and went out of the club with whom on Monday and who is going to wear what on Friday. Tuesday to Thursday - boredom.

I was about to say I wanted to see Elves on Enterprise...and then I remembered that horrible Picard/Elrond fic! Why, badfiction? Why do you ruin all nice plots for me? And yes, I know it was the other way around, but it's close enough!
At least we have Beam me up, Glorfindel, even though it's not the real deal.
As for the other ideas...there was a decent Maglor-runs-into-JRRT during WWI fic somewhere...I think there was an author who did a lot of decent Maglor-remained fics...
Oh, and there is an Elves appear...in elementary school fic. A well as Celeborn vs Computer fic.

Probably. I looked at her profile, and she writes a lot of Aragorn/Legolas. ETA: Yep, she does. Particularly Arwen. And there is MPREG. Fingon is very lucky I searched for Valentine-themed fic.

Constantine: Thanks, luv.

Here's the thing: author more or less confessed she used a plot from comic. So I'm guessing she just replaced the characters, without any care to adapt the dialogue for them. Probably also the reason there weren't as many typos as in the AN - she just copied the comic.

True. It was an awesome line and actually fitting his character.

Thanks!

That sounds like a good idea. You're keeping Fingon in character beautifully, though I don't know your other sporkers.

I was also bullied in middle school and left alone in high school. I actually had a good time in high school, but even back then I realized that no one except me would be interested in my teenage experiences.

What fic's that? Where is it? I want to read it!

I would like to read a Star Trek/LotR fic, as long as there's no slash or romance in it and the characters stay in character.

I think I ran across it once as well, though I didn't read the whole thing. Somehow the idea of Tolkien meeting Maglor during WWI and learning about Middle-earth from him seems intriguing.

I'm not too surprised. Slash writers who are sexist really make me mad.

Thanks!

Particularly since most experienced it themselves.
For the rest, there are teen soap operas.

Not sure if this was worse than Holiday Special...there was a very obnoxious potential troll Sue. That one was a high-school fic, too.

Here, and it was rated #5 most baffling sex scene in fanfiction though authors of that article didn't really dig far...

Not sure whether to pity or envy their ignorance.

Check out author's profile, there are two more ST crossover fics, and a long epic het Glorfindel/OC tale, which is sadly very well researched - but author thinks that with "LaCE" things won't be so much "interesting". And more.

The worst part is that they are sexist towards their own gender. (Actually, most are sexist towards both, with presumptions about male dominance and stuff.)

ETA: Checked out the latter one...and it still pales in comparison to Anestel trilogy. At least there is "rape is bad" message...and Thranduil isn't bad in "Prisoner". The very thought of Anestel, though, makes me want to vomit. I'd put in on "to spork" list if it were any shorter. And if I thought Fingon could survive.

But what do you think of Mary and Mal's Mirkwood adventures?

Good God, how bad was the Anestel trilogy for "Prisoner of Imladris" to pale in comparison? I mean, "Prisoner of Imladris" involved ELROND AND GLORFINDEL RAPING LEGOLAS for over sixty chapters.

I think they're god-awful, about as bad as frollofreak's Danisha fics. They are literally nothing but Mary A. and Mal's self-inserts having sex with Elves, especially Thranduil. Other than that, there's no plot to them. Even if we ignored how Mary A and Mal raped the LACE laws, they would still be horrible and boring. And there are at least THREE STORIES in this series. THREE WHOLE STORIES of nothing but self-insert and Elf sex.

Oh...did you mean what would I think of you sporking them? I'd advise you not to, just because they're so long and repetitive, unless you were only planning to do a handful of chapters. As an alternative, you could do some of Mary A and Mal's shorter fics. Like the one where Mary A, Elladan, and Elrohir engage in food-play. Or the one where Thranduil comes to America and has sex with Mary A at a hotel in Texas. (I know, I know.) Or where Thranduil goes camping with Mal.
Or the sequel to "A Tale of Two Swords," which was actually not bad compared to Mary A and Mal's other stuff.

Wasn't Glorfindel kind of victim in "Prisoner" too? I just skimmed.

Well, this had Glorfindel raping Legolas, and author excusing it with canon, as in "seldom were the acts of lust among Eldar", and how it was said it was wrong to forcibly take someone's wife, no one else. So this should be "a seldom tale".

Except it isn't even about lust - he rapes him because he's there, weak, and Sindar, and he's feeling frustrated. Actually, that makes it a real rape - except that author then goes romanticizing it. Via MPREG. It becomes one of worst cases of Stockholm syndrome. But they totally love each other, even though he still punishes him for transgression. And NO ONE DOES ANYTHING ABOUT IT. IT'S TOTALLY ACCEPTABLE. IT'S NOT EVEN CONDEMNED like it was in "Pasts and Shadows". Thranduil is ebul! and hates Legolas because he has this ability to become pregnant and his other son died because of it too because an Orc raped him and made him pregnant or something. Makes no sense, I know, but that's what I picked up - couldn't bring myself to read it detailedly, since most of it is same old S&M smut. Maybe he's angry he didn't fade? Anyway, he forbids people to even speak of him.

Except authors like this obviously forget that, you know, S&M actually works based on great trust and consent of both partners. Even consenting M!Legolas would be better than this. Other people make passes at Legolas - Elladan or Elrohir and Haldir, among others, but seme!Glorfy keeps most of them away.

Oh, and Legolas is supposed to be human equivalent of 17 when it happens. AUTHOR INSISTS.

As for the length, one-shot prequel, 34 chapters of original, and 74 and counting of sequel.

As for Mary A and Mal, I skimmed through them, and it was shorter stuff I was thinking of. Long fics are boring.

Both Adelaide and Angey get boring at times and one-shots like I did for Valentine were actually refreshing. Just a thought, nothing definite.

Leoglas? The author created a minibalrog at the title?
Great MST, but poor Fingon, you will destroy him if you make him go through sporking slash. If you make him spork some Fingon/Maedhros slash he will need therapy.
Oy, Legolas as a slutty teen is...disgusting. Did the author really say "Suethor: But no Gimli cuz he’s eww and no Merry cuz he’s, like, same as Pippin"?
Constantine: Gayer than a maypole.

I have been reading the reviews too, Where can I find that Prisoner of Imladris? I have a masochist strike about badfic.
I agree with MaryA stories. I enjoy sex scenes in a good story (what the hell, I am a great fan of erotica books), even short PWP if it is well written, but her stories are just sex with elves ALL THE TIME and are too long to be just that. I usually love long fanfiction if it is good, but that is like a playboy letter several chapters long.
One day I will try again Celebrian...the first time I began the MST I had to leave it (because of the original story)

That she did. So he is a bold mini-balrog.
(Talk about bad puns. )

We will try to condition him slowly...

Not really. But it can be read between the lines.

I completely understand. Sometimes, you just have to see for yourself.
Here is the fic in question.

Thanks for the review!