Easter Special: A Game of Sues, Sues take over Westeros

[Amarth]

Title: Easter Special: A Game of Sues
Author: Amarth
Rating: Let�s say PG-13 for sporkers� potty mouths.
Genre: Multi-Sue
Text it is based on: �The Only Way Forward Is Through� by Thelosthungergames on ff.net
Characters: �Game of Thrones� cast, Helen�s team plus a guest
Summary: One of those �multiple Sues� fics with �I�ll put in your character� option. Sadly, the author was smart enough to replace the original request with the first chapter of fic proper, but there are still character templates floating around review page.
Warnings: Canon-Nazism, possibly obscure references for those unfamiliar with fandom, swearwords. Oh, and incest. ETA: Tyrion (guest sporker) is post-ADWD, so there might be spoilers.

The sporkers are sitting in the MST room. A voice is heard:
�Here is your next special: between two Easters, you are to spork one chapter a day of a new fanfic.�
All sporkers groan.
�For this occasion, you shall have a special guest.�
The door opens. A person that walks in is short in stature, with white blonde hair and is missing a good part of his nose. His eyes are mismatched in colour, green and black.
Helen frowns. �Tyrion Lannister?� she inquires.
�At your service,� the dwarf says, bowing. �I didn�t expect my reputation to precede me even here.�
�Well, settle down and let�s start the MST,� says the voice, cutting off any further conversation.

The Only Way Forward Is Through

Summary:
What if Bran never fell?

Helen: You mean, �What if Bran was never thrown?�
Tyrion: Well, that would have been very interesting.

If Sansa wasn't the one to almost marry Joffrey?

Helen: I pity the poor wretch that takes her place.

If one of the Lannister children knew their real lineage?

Helen: Er�not good. Which one?
Tyrion: Let�s hope it�s not Joffrey.

This is a re-telling of all the books with new characters.

Helen: Oh crap.
Raistlin: Another one?
Hakkai: It�s plural, so�
Constantine: More than one?
Standard crew:
Tyrion: Do I want to know?
Minsc: Boo says �Enjoy the ignorance while you can.�

Winter is coming...

Tyrion: Yes, yes, we know.

A/N: Events will change. Alot. Oh, and I don't own anything. I'm a girl, and I really don't think I look like George R.R. Martin.

Helen: Yeah, not even testosterone excess can produce a beard that impressive.

So, here goes�

Delilah
Helen&Constantine: My, my, my, Delilah, why, why, why�.

I have a brother.

Tyrion: Good for you. So do I.
Fingon: And I.
Raistlin: And I as well, to my everlasting consternation.

That's the only thing I've been able to think about. Apparently 17

Helen&Hakkai: Write it out!

is as old as you have to be before you know these things.

Minsc: What things?
Raistlin: That she has a brother? I was cursed with that knowledge for as long as I can remember.
Hakkai: Yet I wish I knew I had a sister earlier�
Helen:*mutter* And I really don�t want to know why. *eyes Hakkai askance*

My uncle, honestly�

Hakkai: Care to elaborate?

Anyways, I'm sitting on the railing of a small fishing boat, my long brown hair skimming the water,

Hakkai: Then you should pull it up.

sailing to Winterfell.

Helen: Which isn�t on any large body of water.
Tyrion: If it was, Greyjoys wouldn�t have been as easily cowed.

Because my new life is there. Because Theon's there.

Helen: I�d be running the hell away from him.
Fingon: And what does this Theon have to do with her new life?

It's been days, but we're finally there. Will he like me?

Tyrion: Well, that depends on your�assets.
Constantine:

Will he not honor me because I'm a bastard?

Helen: Yep. That sounds like Theon.

I'm just nervous.

Tyrion: No, that�s quite a sound assumption.

I step off the boat, and the first thing I register is snow, and cold.

Helen: Duh.
Tyrion: What did you expect?

How do the Starks stand it?

Tyrion: Well, there are many theories about that. The most popular one is that they have ice for blood.

They're all there.

Minsc: Who?

The youngest girl, Arya, is yelling at the next oldest girl, Sansa, and the oldest, Arianna, is trying to stop it.

Tyrion: Arianna? I don�t remember�
Helen: She�s a new �creation�.
Tyrion: *frowns contemplatively*

The bastard, Jon,

Constantine: Should you be the one pointing a finger?

is watching with an amused look on his face, and the other guys are not really doing anything.

Tyrion: I doubt it. They were never idle during my visit.

Lord Stark welcomes me. I ask him where Theon is. "He didn't think to come." Lord Stark tells me.

Constantine: Ouch.
Raistlin: Can you blame him?
Fingon: It�s cruel.

That alone almost makes me start crying. The boy Jon senses it and puts a hand on my shoulder.

Helen&Tyrion:
Tyrion: No way the bastard would be that outgoing.
Helen: Indeed.

"I'm sure he'll love you." he whispers. "Thank you." I say faintly. He smiles, the world lights up for a second, and suddenly everything feels better.

All:
Raistlin: Well, that determines the��lust object�, was it? For this one.

Then we walk to the castle. Bran and Arya are talking animatedly to a girl with white blonde hair.

Tyrion: Why is there a Targaryen in Winterfell?

Jon and Robb are racing each other to the castle.

Helen: Gah! Look, they might be in their teens, but teenagers in Westeros kind of had to grew up faster than their pampered modern-day counterparts.
Tyrion: Particularly bastards and heirs.

Rickon's with Lady Catelyn. And Arianna comes over to talk to me. "How old are you?" she asks. "17." I reply. "How old is Theon?" I ask. "19 or 20, I forget."

Helen: WRITE OUT.
Hakkai: And new person speaking, new paragraph.

He's not that much older than me. I wonder how old Jon is.

All:

Currently, Robb's winning their race back. And Arya's started yelling at Sansa again. I like her. Arya, I mean. She's got spirit.

Helen: Of course she likes the tomboy. Not that I like Sansa�er�
Tyrion: Dear me, my lady wife is sure unpopular.

The castle's amazing, but then again, I've never seen one before. The white blond haired girl shows me to my room.

It's as big as my old house was! I go out, into the forest.

Minsc: Her room opens into the forest? That�s dangerous!
Tyrion: And why would there be a forest in the castle? I�m guessing she means godswood.
Helen: Probably.

The snow is fresh, and everything's covered in white. I start singing,

Helen: Okay, this one beats Adelaide�s record for earliest singing so far.

just to remind myself of home in this strange new world.

And then I hear breathing behind me. I abruptly stop singing, and pull out the knife I keep hidden in my boot.

"Watch out, snow bird!

All: What?

You might kill someone with that!" Jon Snow says. "Snow bird?" I ask. "You sing so beautifully." I'm almost positive I'm blushing. It could be the cold.

Helen:
Tyrion: No way the bastard is this smooth.
Constantine: Bet he stammers when he talks to girls not related to him.
Hakkai: And new speaker, new paragraph please.

"Thank you." I say. "Just the truth." he says. I like him. Of course, he's 4 or 5 years younger than me.

Constantine: Cradle-robber.
Hakkai: If she�s right, he�s twelve or thirteen!
Tyrion: No, no. If Greyjoy was twenty-two, Snow should be seventeen. But wait. It�s been three years and Eddard Stark is still alive?
Helen: TV show timeline?
Raistlin: Or simple fail at calculation.

Life. Why does it have to be like this?

Tyrion: I don�t know. You tell me. You have it so hard, being raised by your uncle despite being bastard, having an opportunity to meet the other side of your family, being welcomed by Lord Stark himself, given your own room�

A/N: This may not be my best chapter,

All: DUH.

but I'm just getting a feel for it.

Raistlin: We don�t accept excuses.

The next chapter will be in the King's Landing, then back in Winterfell, etc. Please review!

Voice: And now, you shall review the character sheet as well, as submitted in the review thread.

Name: Delilah

House: Crowe

Tyrion: House what? And bastards don�t have house, unless they have king�s pardon. But she is hardly marriage material.

Gender: Female

Hair: Light brown, long

Hakkai: A bit too long, maybe?

Eyes: Bright blue

Age: 17

Personality: Kind, compassionate, level headed, quite

Tyrion: Quite what?
Hakkai: I think it�s misspelled �quiet�.

and usually keeps to herself.

Helen: Gee, which character does this description remind me of�

Delilah is Theon's younger half sister. Same father, different mothers. Her mother died when she was only a baby and she was raised by her Uncle Toby,

Tyrion: Odd name.

her mother's brother, ever since. When she was old enough her uncle told her about her father and the rest of his family.

Tyrion: Why? I really doubt Balon Greyjoy cares about all the bastards he left around. Why give the girl false hopes?

Delilah wanted to meet Theon, the brother she never knew she had.

Tyrion: At least she had more sense than to try to meet Balon.
Helen: Or Asha. She�d eat her for breakfast.

So they set out for Winterfell,

Minsc: �They�?
Helen: Well, this is reviewer�s submission�obviously author didn�t work it all in. Though it would make more sense for her not to travel alone.

where they meet Theon and the Starks. Delilah tries to get to know her brother better, but he always avoids her,

Tyrion: How surprising.

which hurts her deeply.

Tyrion: Yes, well, that�s a bastard�s lot in life. The sooner you learn to deal with it, the better.

She gets along with the Starks

Helen: ANGEY FLASHBACKS!

children well. She enjoys seeing Arya trying to act like one of the boys or Bran climbing the walls. But her favorite is Jon Snow, Ned Stark's bastard.

Raistlin: We�ve noticed.

She finds him sweet and charming

Helen: No. Just no. He�s stoic and taciturn.

and since she's also a bastard, in a sense, she can relate to him more.

Bastard?: Yes

Feelings on the game of thrones: She thinks it's complete insanity to fight over since an ugly looking thing.

Tyrion: And very painful to sit on. She has a point there.

What characters that they're not related to do they know?: Ser Jorah Mormont. Before Jorah was exiled, they were neighbors.

Tyrion: She lived on the Bear Island?
Helen: I doubt she even knows they exist.

Delilah remembered how kind Jorah was to her whenever he came to visit her uncle. She was only a little girl when she last saw him.
If Stark, direwolf:

Hakkai: She could have deleted this.

Any rude/amazing nicknames(the Beauty, Kingslayer..): Delilah, the Gentle (when one of the Starks direwolves got wounded she helped nurse it back to health, for her kindness the wolves will now only listen to either her or one of the Starks children)

Helen:
Tyrion: I was under the impression each direwolf listened to his master only.

Snow Bird (given to her by Jon because he heard her singing in the woods by herself. he thought it was beautiful and reminded him of home).

Fingon: Why would it remind him of home? He lives there, doesn�t he?
Helen: Again, another person writing�though I hope this didn�t mean he was supposed to hear her after he took black�

The Grey Lady (when a couple of the locals heard that she was bastard child of Balon they named her The Grey Lady believing that no man would ever marry a bastard and she would die old and grey).

Constantine: That makes no bloody sense.
Tyrion: And she�s more likely to die before she�s old and grey if she�s on her own.

Death,

Raistlin: Yes please.
Others:

and if yes, how?: No

Tyrion: So, I take it that there will be more of these�surprise relatives?
Helen: Yes.
Tyrion: Interesting.

Review here.

[Amarth]

A/N: I'm sorry it's been so long! I've been rereading the books,

Helen: Books?!? Really?!?
Raistlin: It wouldn�t be the first time they lie about it.
Helen: Point.

and realizing just how much I love/hate the Lannisters. So, I'm starting the King's Landing crew with Miss Kyriana Lannister/ Baratheon.

Helen:
Tyrion: Oh, look. A new niece. From the same stock as Greyjoy�s bastard, I presume?
Hakkai: Correct.

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"Mommy, we've been riding for hours!" my little brother Tommen complains.

Tyrion: No, Tommen is a smart kid. With a good sense of self-preservation.

"Shush, Tommen, we're almost at Winterfell." she snaps back.

Fingon: But he didn�t snap at her!

I'm afraid of her.

Tyrion: Good. You should be.

I've seen her cold hatred.

And the way she looks at Uncle Jaime. That scares me.

Tyrion: Me as well.

I wonder if the Starks are really as cold as they say.

And suddenly, we're there.

Hakkai: Why is she giving every sentence a separate paragraph in this chapter?
Helen: Because she learned writing craft from SMeyer, da best riter EVA!!!11!

The castle is terrible, compared to the others I've seen.

Tyrion: Well, then you haven�t seen many of them.

And the Starks are there, kneeling to us.

There's one girl who looks as if she wants to be anywhere but here.

Helen: Here�s a thought, Suethor: imagine that somehow, a person who hasn�t seen the show is reading this. Do you think they would get who you are talking about?

Another one is staring at Joff in wonder.

The boys are really not doing anything.

Fingon: Well, they are obviously better behaved than the girls then.

Well, one of them is whispering

Fingon: Or not.

to a girl with drab brown hair, nothing like the black and auburn of the Starks.

Helen: Read the books, my ass. Arya had �drab brown�. And auburn is Tully colour.

We all dismount.

Helen: Wait. No carriage? Please tell me this isn�t going to be one of those book/movie(show) blends.

A pretty girl with white blonde hair takes our horses away.

Raistlin: And mysterious stablegirl appears again.

Mum looks at her with contempt.

Tyrion: Hardly surprising.

I see her whisper something in Ned Stark's ear.

Minsc: Who? Her mum or the horse girl?

He remains expressionless.

Tyrion: Of course he does.

And then the girls are next to me, chatting.

The one who was staring at Joff is asking me what he's like. I don't feel like being honest.

Fingon: Why?

"Oh, he's amazing, the most gallant man you could possibly meet." I reply.

Helen&Tyrion:
Helen: That�s not �not being honest�
Tyrion: That�s �being a shameless liar�.

She smiles.

The youngest and the oldest stare at me like: Yeah, right. We'll take your word for that.

I glare at them.

The eldest mutters: "At least the Kingslayer's a real man."

Helen:
Tyrion: Surely not�
Constantine: Sounds like someone has an admirer.

Looking over at the boys, I can see they've already started a fight with Joffrey.

Helen:
Tyrion: I really doubt they would attack the crown prince in plain sight, close to his guards. And where is Robert during all this? Unless�
Helen: He is too old and fat to be important.

We rode all this way, and this is going to be a terrible visit.

Yay.

Helen: Oh, and STOP WITH THE BLOODY MODERNISMS.

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A/N: Please review!

(Character sheet)

Name: Kyriana

House: Lannister

Gender:F

Hair: Golden

eyes: blue

Tyrion: Not green?

Age: 11

Personality: She's Jaime's kid,

Tyrion: Then where did the blue eyes come from?
Helen: Nikolaj.

and she's the only one who knows it.

Constantine: You sure her mother doesn�t know it too?

The only person she's told? Tyrion.

Tyrion: I�m eternally grateful. I could have never figured it out on my own.

Very sweet to everybody unless given reason not to be.

All: Of course.
Raistlin: We aren�t going to find out how she knows about her parentage, will we?

Bastard: Well, aren't all the Lannister children?

Tyrion: I beg your pardon.
Hakkai: Ah, ha. I think she means her and her siblings.

feelings on the game of thrones: Doesn't understand it, and wishes it would go away.

Tyrion: Well, I understand her feelings, but that attitude isn�t going to keep her alive for long.

Characters she knows: Everyone in the king's landing. Varys likes her.

Tyrion: I don�t think that Varys likes anyone.

Nicknames: Goldie,

All:
Helen: For me, it will always be a name for golden retriever. Or goldfish. Or canary.

Kyra, Lion's Cub.

Helen: You know, technically, as far as people know, she is Baratheon�

Death: Maybe...

All: YES.

Review here.

[Amarth]

A/N: So now, we get to be colder, because the Starks are where it's at.

Minsc: Where what�s at?
Tyrion: Cold?

Say hello to Miss Arianna Stark.

All: NO.

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How does that boy live?

Minsc: Which boy?

Prince Joffrey's annoying, rude, and generally a manner of other unpleasant things. And he's going to be our king.

Constantine: So? Royalty doesn�t mean being sunshine and daisies. No offense, Your Maj.
Fingon: None taken. You are right.

Lucky realm, right?

Raistlin: It could be worse.

The girl, Kyra, or whatever her name is, she doesn't seem bad. Other than lying to please Sansa.

Hakkai: It would have been kinder to tell her the truth.

But thankfully, Arya and I can see beyond that.

Fingon: Then why aren�t you telling it to your sister?

I'm showing Princess whatever the hell her name is around,

Fingon: Why don�t you ask her name?
Raistlin: She obviously doesn�t care enough to remember.
Helen: She needs to focus her two brain cells on ogling Princess� �uncle�, after all.

and Sansa's showing Myrcella.

We don't trust Arya. And we can only pray that Jacklyn stays out of sight.

All: Who?

Jacklyn's, well, abnormal.

Tyrion: Ouch. �Imp� and �dwarf� suddenly sound much better.

She believes that she talks to invisible people.

All:
Constantine: But she could be right.

She's a very sweet girl, but, well, what would the Baratheons and Lannisters think?

Tyrion: If she is comely enough, Robert wouldn�t care.

"So, honestly." I ask the Lannister girl, "What's Joffrey really like?"

"Terrible. I think you've seen,

Minsc: Seen what?
Helen: Yeah, they barely arrived.

but, you know, just awful." She talks really quickly, and while she's turned to me, I see Jacklyn run through the corridor, whispering to herself.

"And what's the Kingslayer like?" I ask. I might have just a slight infatuation with him.

Raistlin: You think?

"Well, he's out a lot. I barely see him. And he's always flirting with somebody.

Tyrion: Since when?

But he's nice, I think."

Helen: Wait. She knows he is really her father yet�gah!

She talks so quickly I can barely tell what she's saying.

Raistlin: And we can barely read what you�re writing, regardless of the speed.

And suddenly Robb's pulling me into a room nearby.

All:

"Let GO of me!" I yell, pulling away from him.

All:
Minsc: Kidnapping?
Tyrion: I don�t think so.
Helen: Maybe he wants to lecture her why it�s not wise to be infatuated with likes of Jaime?

"Easy, now." he says. Does he think I'm some horse?

"Why?"I ask him.

"Father wanted to see all the Starks."

Fingon: Why not just meet her and ask her to come with him?
Minsc: Secret?
Constantine: Dragging her off suddenly is hardly inconspicuous. Princess could have raised an alarm by now.

"Jon and Jacklyn?"

"We can't find Jacklyn, but Jon's coming."

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

And sure enough, after a while, all of us get there.

Arya looks ready to kill someone,

Minsc: Why?
Helen: Dunno. She might have not been fond of doing girly things, but she shouldn�t mind being included with her brothers.

restrained only by Jon's hand on her head. He looks amused.

And so does Theon Greyjoy. He's most certainly not a Stark,

Helen: At the rate both this fic and GRRM are going, it wouldn�t surprise me.
Tyrion: Well, that would be an interesting twist.

but my father's judgment is my father's judgment.

"I have been offered the position of Hand of the King." Father says grimly. Then again, he says everything grimly.

Tyrion: That he does.
Fingon: But she�s his daughter. She shouldn�t talk of him like that.

There's a flurry of voices.

"Am I coming?" Sansa asks eagerly.

Tyrion&Constantine: *open mouth*
Helen&Hakkai: NO.

"Yes. You will be coming, Arya will be coming, Jacklyn will be coming (wherever she is),

Hakkai: Er�is it safe to bring her along?

Bran will be coming, and Arianna will be coming." Father says, still grimly.

"Yay." I mutter.

"And Arianna will be married to Joffrey."

"WHAT?" I shout.

"You're so lucky!" Sansa says.

"NO! He's, he's a� a weasel!

Tyrion: No, he is a lion. Hardly a prime specimen, but still.

YES! HE'S A WEASEL!"

Tyrion: No, I don�t think my dearest sister�s lovers included any Varners.

All the guys and Arya laugh at that.

"Please," I say, "Please, father. I can't marry him."

"You must." he replies.

Tyrion: Surely a firstborn daughter of a lord didn�t expect a love match?

I storm out.

Constantine: Brat.

And that concludes the Stark family meeting.

Raistlin: How do you know it didn�t continue after you stormed out?

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A/N: That was fun. Please review!


Name: Arianna

House: Stark

Gender: Female

Hair: Strawberry blonde

Helen: And where did THAT hair colour come from?

Eyes: Blue

Age: 14

Personality: Friendly,

Constantine: Hardly.

funny,

Tyrion: Only unintentionally.

kind,

Fingon: I have to disagree.

patient,

Minsc: Boo says �No.�

bit of a tomboy. She's also sly

Raistlin: *snort*

but has a firery

Hakkai: �Fiery�?

temperament.

Bastard?: No.

Feelings on the game of thrones: Wishes it would all stop and that everybody would come go an agreement who the king (or queen) is.

All:
Hakkai: Eh��to� instead of �go�?
Tyrion: Oh, the naivet�. I suppose they will meet over a nice supper and have a civilised talk about who should sit on the Iron Throne?

What characters that they're not related to do they know?: Petyr Baelish

Helen: HOW?

If Stark, direwolf: Faolan

Helen: Well, it�s closer to fitting than most of the other names.

Any rude/amazing nicknames(the Beauty, Kingslayer..): Ari, Anna (but only her family call her these nicknames), Fire head (Arya says that to annoy her).

Tyrion: Wouldn�t that be insulting to some other family members as well?

Death, and if yes, how?: No. (if you want to kill her off

All: YES, WE DO.

you can).

All: GOOD.

Review here.

[Amarth]

A/N: I just read a Dance With Dragons. PM me if you're a spoiler hound and you want to know what happens.

Helen: I really don�t want to live on this planet anymore.

Changing topic: Presenting, once again, Arianna Stark! (Sorry. I couldn't resist!)

Raistlin: You should have.

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After I've beat my head against a wall a few times,

Helen: Not more than I did.

Theon's bastard sister comes in to tell me the feast starts soon. We've kept her as a servant. I feel sorry for her. Theon always avoids her.

Tyrion: How surprising.

But enough about other people's problems.

Helen (as Sue): �Cuz, after all, it�s only MY problems that matter!

I have to marry a bloody idiot/evil child/ugh/weasel!

All:
Hakkai: Well�I�d remove �ugh�, at least. And you might want to lose those slashes.

Who cares about being Queen?

Helen: Well�it�s a tempting offer.

Well, Sansa, I guess. Arya's the one with common sense.

Helen: I think she wouldn�t mind, as long as it doesn�t require marrying and wearing dresses.
Fingon: And why does wanting to be a queen imply a lack of common sense?

But she doesn't have to marry him.

Helen: Of course, when that�s the condition, it isn�t that appealing�

There's only one benefit to this arrangement. I get to be closer to the Kingslayer.

Tyrion: Not that it will get you anywhere.
Helen: I wish she tries to flirt with him with Cersei present.

I throw a dress on and head to the feast. Outside the door,

Minsc: Which door?

Joffrey (weasel!)

All: Yes, yes. We know.

takes my arm, and we walk to our seats. Out of the corner of my eye I see Theon and Robb pointing at me and laughing.

Helen: HOW? How can anyone read as far as ADWD and STILL write those two as immature brats?

I shoot a rude gesture at him,

Minsc: At whom?

which causes Sansa to gasp, Theon and Robb to crack up, and Arya to ask "What does that mean?" eagerly.

"You're very amusing." the weasel says.

Hakkai: I see that there is a lack of commas here as well.

"Glad I could be of service." I mutter back sarcastically.

He grabs me by the wrist and says, "Address me as Sire."

"Yes, Sire." I reply.

How could he get so worked up about titles?

Helen: Because he was raised that way?

I shudder. A man like that should be locked up. Soon.

Constantine: If the world were sunshine and roses�

Joff's uncle, the Imp, grimaces at me.

Tyrion: Well, at least I am acting normally.

Jaime looks amused, and Arya makes a face.

Thank God for Arya.

Tyrion: Which one?
Helen: Fail, Suethor. FAIL.

The Queen is hissing in Father's ear angrily. If I knew what the hell her problem was�

Hakkai: Maybe the fact that the girl her son is escorting is acting rudely?

Three words: Worst. Situation. Ever.

Tyrion: Oh, I don�t know. Ever tried being locked in a sky cell?

Joffrey tries to kiss me on the cheek. I hiss at him, which startles him.

Fingon: Of course it startled him!
Helen: Shouldn�t she be growling, not hissing?

"Faolan, to me�" I say, trying to call my direwolf. And then I realize: 1. She's outside.

Helen: She didn�t just�
Hakkai: Number the ordinary text that�s not a list?
Helen: I don�t think even Angey did that.

2. If Joff gets hurt, that's it.

Tyrion: Finally she shows some common sense.

Actually, I might bite him to get out of this�

Tyrion: Or not.

And then the thought fades, because really, who bites other people?

Helen: I?
Others:

And God,

Tyrion: While I understand those keeping the Old Faith never mention Old Gods individually, I never heard of all of them being grouped into one �God�.
Helen: Fail whale.

Theon would just smile.

All: So?

I hate him. I really do.

Minsc: Whom do you hate? Prince or Theon?

But that's not the point. My. Life. Is. Ruined.

Raistlin: Of course it is. It�s not like your parents are dead�
Constantine: Powers of Heaven and Hell have it in for you�
Fingon: You�ve slain your kin�
Hakkai: You have become that what you hated�
Tyrion: Or were born a dwarf. It all pales in comparison to being betrothed to a crown prince.

I pull my lips back and hiss again.

Constantine: What a charming picture.

I hate my life.

Raistlin: Why not do us all a favour and end it, then?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A/N: Be good little direwolves and review!

All: NO!

A voice is heard again:
�Since you have already sporked Arianna�s character sheet, here is one for another OC that was mentioned, but never introduced.�
*All groan. They really hoped they�d get away without this part.*

Name: Ser Tobias "Toby"

Minsc: Oh, it�s uncle Toby!

House: Crowe

Tyrion: Never heard of it.

Gender: Male

Hair: Dark brown, shaggy

Eyes: Brown

Age: 40

Personality: Loyal, brave, protective, stubborn, has a bit a temper if you hurt someone he cares about, has a dark past

All:

Like Ned Stark he is honorable man, a warrior and would do anything to protect his loved ones.

All: Of course!

When his sister, Ella, was pregnant with Balon Greyjoy's child he was furious and was ready to kill the man. She begged him not to

Constantine: Why?
Helen: That�d better not be �she was in love with him� thing.
Tyrion: Maybe it was �don�t start a war with Iron Islands� thing?
Raistlin: With this kind of author � doubtful.

and so he didn't, for his little sister's sake, and he promised he would be there for her when the baby comes. After Delilah was born, Ella became very sick and died from a fever leaving her baby in his care. Toby tries to raise Delilah the best to his ability, keeping her safe but at the same time giving her the freedom to make her own choices.

All: Of course he did.

He loves her like his own daughter. When Delilah became of age he told her where she came from.

Helen: I was under the impression that in Westeros �coming-of-age� for girls wasn�t as much determined by age as by something else�

They set out for Winterfell so Delilah can meet her half-brother Theon.

All: Huh?
Helen: Well, guess the story author didn�t want to use the both of them.
Raistlin: You mean, wasn�t capable of writing both of them.

From they're

Hakkai: THEIR.

first meeting he knew right away not to trust the boy because just like his father, he has this air of arrogance, thinking he is better than everyone and shouldn't be someone's ward. He has on more than one occasion to make it very clear to Theon to treat Delilah better or else. He has taken a liken to Jon Snow,

Minsc: He can shapeshift?
Hakkai: Ah, ha, ha. I think it�s just misspelled �liking�.

who treats Delilah respect and kindness.

Tyrion: Well, it�s not like he has any grounds to look down on her.

Toby tries to help the two love birds, telling Jon little things that Delilah likes.

Helen: Oh great. It�s the kindly matchmaking uncle.

Bastard?: No

Feelings on the game of thrones: Toby thinks the Iron Throne is cursed. Many have died

Helen: Not yet.

just to even sit on the damn thing

Hakkai: �Even� is unnecessary.

and he won't be one of them.

What characters that they're not related to do they know?: Ser Jorah Mormont his old brother in arms, before Jorah was exiled and Toby gave up his sword to raise his niece.

Helen: *sigh* This is one of those that ignore the reason for exile, isn�t it?

Littlefinger, he owes a debt to.

Helen: Oh dear.
Tyrion: Poor Toby.

He asked money from Littlefinger when he was poor and needed the money to support Delilah and himself. Delilah doesn't know about his past and wants to keep it that way. (you decide on Toby's past, it can be as dark as you want)

All: All right.

If Stark, direwolf:

Any rude/amazing nicknames(the Beauty, Kingslayer...)The Beast (in his younger days Toby was a bit a wild one),

Constantine: Only �a bit�?
Raistlin: And in what way?

The Bottomless Pit (Toby can eat and drink as much as he wants and he doesn't gain a single pound).

All:
Helen: Well, I must admit this is the first time I saw this speshul ability given to a male OC�

I hope you get to use them. I can't wait to read your story. I love Game of Thrones. Makes me want to read the books.

Helen: Yes, please read the books, NOT badfics.

Review here.

[Amarth]

A/N: Hi! Err� yeah, okay. Say hi to Miss Jacklyn Snow, her hallucinogenic friend Marshall,

Helen: Is he one of those frogs?

and his bird Bear.

Helen: And his horse Cat.

They're a package deal.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"The Godswood is so beautiful in the snow."

Helen: NOW she gets it right?

I tell Marshall. He just smiles. And then I hear somebody. "Scar?" My direwolf's name is Scar. She comes, growling softly.

"Bear!" Marshall calls, "Who is it?" Bear's his falcon. He flies down, and squawks "Imp! Imp!"

Helen: So a friend that causes hallucinations has a talking falcon named Bear. Or is that another hallucination? What is real?

And then I see him. It's that Lannister, the dwarf.

Tyrion:

Scar looks ready to pounce. I call her off.

"Thank you," the Imp says, gesturing towards Scar. "I was about killed by one of those beasts earlier. And he was prettier, too."

Tyrion: Why would I add that last part? And if she means Ghost, he wasn�t about to kill me.

"Scar's not a beast." I say.

"It's not worth it." Marshall whispers.

"Who are you, girl?" the dwarf continues.

Tyrion: Why am I ignoring Marshall?
Helen: Wait�oh. She means he is her imaginary friend, a hallucination. So you can�t see him nor hear him.

"Jacklyn St�Snow," I say.

Tyrion: She was about to say Stark, wasn�t she? Why would she want to represent herself as a bastard?
Helen: To get your sympathy? But I think she is supposed to be one. She gets grouped with Jon.
Tyrion: Then why was she about to call herself a Stark? Not even Eddard would allow that.

He nods. "And you?"

"Tyrion Lannister,

Tyrion: Why am I introducing myself to myself?
Helen: Because the author is unfamiliar with �new person, new paragraph� rule.

though most would call me the Imp. Or worse�"

Tyrion: Actually, �Imp� was the name I hated the most, until I earned �Kinslayer�.
Fingon: You as well?

"I know how you feel.

Tyrion: I doubt it. You seem to be treated well enough to count yourself as a Stark despite being baseborn. While I, a trueborn son and only eligible heir, was treated by my father worse than some bastards are.

People call me terrible things."

He laughs. "Why weren't you at the feast?" he asks.

Tyrion: Because, if she was a bastard, she would get the same treatment as Jon, whom I already met, so I should really already know the answer. Do I look that cruel as to taunt the poor, feeble-minded bastard girl?
Helen: You taunted Jon.
Tyrion: He needed it.

"They told me I wouldn't make a good impression on you. That I'm� different."

Fingon: What is kinder? Saying that she isn�t wanted because of circumstances of her birth, or saying she isn�t wanted because her mind is different? It�s a difficult matter.

He laughs again. "What they mean, girl, is that you're a freak.

Tyrion: *sigh* I�m guessing this is inspired by my little talk to Jon. Do they think I affect the same manner with everyone?

What is it with you?"

"Well, I have friends that no one thinks are real."

His face softens, which makes it uglier.

Tyrion (flat tone): Oh, does it? I must take care from now on.
Fingon,Minsc&Hakkai: *gasp*
Raistlin: And there goes any shred of pity we might have had for her.
Helen&Constantine: Indeed.

"And you're a bastard."

"That too."

"So, in short, you're the whole package."

"I guess�"

He genuinely looks sorry for me.

Tyrion: I wouldn�t be that sorry if I knew what she really is she like. Wake up, story-me! You can see through her!

And then I hear Robb call me.

"Don't want another run-in with a direwolf." he says, and leaves.

I stare at the heart tree. He's right. I'm a freak.

"No, of course you aren't." Marshall says, sitting beside me.

Hakkai: So, her imaginary friend can hear her thoughts? That�s�worrying.
Constantine: The fact that she has a imaginary friend is worrying enough.
Helen: On the plus side, no one will think she is talking to herself because�oh, how convenient.

And then Robb finds me.

"Jacklyn! Are you alright? You're leaving tomorrow, you should really get ready."

Tyrion: Why is Ned Stark making his bastard come with him? He should know she would hardly be treated well in King�s Landing.

Theon's right behind, smiling, as always. And Jon's behind him, chatting with Theon's sister.

Helen: AAAAARRRRRGGGGGHHHHH!!!!! What part of �silent� do Suethors fail to comprehend?

I smile, and go with them.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A/N: If my Tyrion sucked,

Tyrion: I don�t suck. I pay-mmpf!
*Helen covers his mouth with her hand*
Hakkai: Not in front of His Majesty, please. *smiles menacingly*

I apologize. Please review!


�There was no character sheet for Jacklyn. I suppose it�s safe to assume she�s author avatar. Instead, have another �mentioned but not done� OC,� says the voice.
The sporkers groan.

Name: Serena

House: Targaryen

Tyrion: Not a typical Targaryen name.
Raistlin: Why is that surprising.
Tyrion: Oh. Right.

Gender: Female

Hair: Silvery-white

Eyes: Left eye is Blue and the right eye is Violet

Tyrion: Why?
Helen: Because mismatched eyes are speshul.
Tyrion: No, they aren�t.

Age: 16

Personality: Shy when she is around people she doesn't know, but outspoken at the same time if something is said that she doesn't agree with.

Helen: Read: what is convenient at the time.

Secretly trains with throwing knives and a bow.

Raistlin: And she never needed a teacher, I presume.

Very good with horses. Is known as the stable girl. Works in the stable and trains Eddard Starks horses and also is teaching Arya and Bran how to ride/train

Helen: AAAAARRRRRGGGGGHHHHH!!!!!
Tyrion: What�s wrong with her?
Hakkai: Angey flashbacks.
Tyrion: �Angey�?
Hakkai: You really don�t want to know.

their horse.

Bastard?: haven't decided.

Tyrion: You can�t call her a Targaryen then.

Feelings on the game of thrones: Hates them!

Hakkai: �Them�?
Helen: She actually thinks it�s about more than one throne.
Tyrion: Well, the throne in the North was kind of separate�

Even though she comes from a noble family.

What characters that they're not related to do they know?: The Starks, Eddard took compassion on her when she was a child after her family was dethroned,

Tyrion: You mean, �Viciously murdered by either Eddard�s best friend or his allies.�

and took her to live at Winterfell.

Helen: I really don�t think Robert would have overlooked that, no matter how much he loves him.

Is great friends with Jon Snow.

Helen: Of course she is!
Tyrion: My word, Lord Snow is quite popular. Must be the dark and brooding looks.

Longs to be accepted.

All:

If Stark, direwolf: No direwolf but loves Ghost as if Ghost was her own.

Helen: Ooh, I see why she didn�t get a chapter � can�t have two Jon�s love interests�wait. Why the hell not? If Frollo can have twenty-one FSMs, why can�t Jon have two JSMs? As long as he is over sixteen, that is.

Any rude/amazing nicknames(the Beauty, Kingslayer..): Girl,

Hakkai: That doesn�t count.

Horse girl, stable girl, and Rena by people who is

Hakkai: Are.

close to her. Is called dear and young one by Eddard.

Helen:
Tyrion: �Dear�? Can�t imagine what Lady Catelyn thinks of it.

Death, and if yes, how?: no death but I don't mind if she gets wounded at all.

Helen (as Suethor): �Cause it�s H/C fuel! *wink wink nudge nudge*
Constantine: And then he goes to kill the one who hurt her, and she�s just so grateful�

Review here.

[Amarth]

A/N: Hi, y'all! I'm back, and you probably want to murder me for taking so long.

Raistlin: No, we want to murder you for continuing.

Anyways� I'm really sorry, but I'm going to do Miss Arianna again.

All: Great.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"WHERE IS JACKLYN?" Father yells.

The Imp

Tyrion: Why am I in this again?

has been watching our mad search for her, and chooses this time to speak.

"Maybe she has more common sense then you lot." he says with a smile.

"Why?" Arya asks.

"They're bloody insane up there," the Imp says, "every single one of them.

Tyrion: On the Wall? Why am I talking about it when I haven�t been there yet? And they aren�t all insane; some of them have not much of a choice.
Helen: I think the author meant King�s Landing�
Tyrion: But it�s �down�.

Gods

Helen: FINALLY.

save the country when Joffrey's king.

Tyrion: While I agree, I�m quite sure I wouldn�t go around saying that in public�

(he sees Sansa scowling)

Helen: AAAAARRRRRGGGGGHHHHH!!!!!
Tyrion: More �Angey flashbacks�?
Helen: Yes.
Tyrion: Now I�m intrigued.

Yes, I know, such a gallant man.

Tyrion: Boy.

Is that what my niece told you?" he laughs, "And the Queen. She's� well, I think you can already tell she's a bitch,

Tyrion: I�d NEVER talk about my sister like that�in front of the strangers.

but you think what you like."

"What's a bitch�" Arya asks.

Helen: No way she doesn�t know that one. I doubt they had �will someone think of the children� in Westeros.

The Imp laughs, and walks off.

"That was� interesting." Theon says. Why is he�?

Minsc: Why is he what?

Oh, whatever. I won't have to see him for a very long time. But I'll be married to a madman.

Fingon: Why is he a madman? He did insist on his title, but�
Helen: Because the author knows he is unstable. But others shouldn�t know that yet. At this point in the story, he acts like a spoiled brat.

Which is worse, I wonder?

Probably Joffrey, but you never know.

Helen: Well, between Joffrey and Bastard of Bolton�I�d pick Joffrey. He only strips you of your clothes, not your skin.

Oh well. Too late now.

Of course, I never had a choice, but�
Can't complain now, can I? My life is set.

Raistlin: Good, good, now quit complaining and off with you.

The King's Landing'll

Hakkai: Contraction not applicable.

be terrible, if what the Imp says is true.

Life sucks. Father's still looking for Jacklyn, but after a while, gives up.

All: Really?
Tyrion: Well, at least one of them is not coming along.

We get on our horses. Serena, the girl who takes care of the horses, looks sadly at us. I know she loves Arya and Bran.

Helen: Any chances we�ll get an explanation what distracted him from climbing in inconvenient places? No?
Tyrion: At least he�s still hale.
Helen: I really hope the reason is not that there was nothing to see�

Upon seeing her, the Queen starts whispering in Father's ear.

Helen: I�d think he�d be the one to spot a Targaryen from a mile away.

And Jaime, watching this, smiles.

Tyrion: He does that. *Looks torn between smiling and frowning for a moment, then assumes neutral expression.*

He's starting to remind me of Theon.

Helen: Well�
Tyrion: Backstabbing traitors?
Helen: And eventually maimed, too�but I don�t think she meant it that way.
Tyrion: *snort* Of course she didn�t. But there is truth to be found in fool�s ramblings.

And right when we leave, I see Jacklyn walking out of the forest.

Minsc: No, it�s too early! Hide!

She's saved.

Fingon: Why does she speak like they are heading away to their doom?
Helen: They are. Or they should be. But�
Tyrion: They shouldn�t be able to foresee what is coming.

We're left to insanity.

Fingon: Again. What insanity?
Helen: The insanity of meta.

Welcome to the rest of my life.

Constantine: Oh, cry me a river.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A/N: Short, I know. Please review!

�This time, you get one that wasn�t even mentioned until now.�

Name: Nevaeh

House:Clegane

Tyrion: Is she MAD?
Helen: I�m going to go with another show fan, because NO WAY anyone who has read the books could have missed what having GREGOR CLEGANE for your brother entails.
Raistlin: Unless she only skimmed the parts with her lust objects.
Helen: Damn.

Gender:female

Hair:Black

Eyes:Blue

Age: 12

Personality: short-fused,proud,reserved(around people she doesn't know),stubborn ,generous, has a killer instinct,kind (to people she likes).

Hakkai: This sounds contradictory�

often

Hakkai: Capital O.

gets into fights

Tyrion: Well, that part fits.

Bastard?:No

Feelings on the game of thrones:not sure

What characters that they're not related to do they know?: Joffrey,Tommen,Myrcella,Petyr Baelish,Renly Baratheon,Amory Lorch,Chiswyck, Polliver, The Tickler, Raff The Sweetling, the squire of Ser Gregor and The Shitmouth

Helen: Wait, she lists�WTF. HOW CAN ANYONE WHO HAS READ THE BOOKS WANT TO BE RELATED TO GREGOR? HOW? DID YOU MISS THE PART WHERE HE KILLED HIS LITTLE SISTER AND PROBABLY RAPED HER BEFORE AND WHERE HE PUSHED HIS BROTHER�S HEAD INTO THE BRAZIER OVER A TOY?!? WHAT MAKES YOU THINK YOUR SPESHUL SUE COULD PASS UNSCATHED?!?

If Stark, direwolf:

Any rude/amazing nicknames(the Beauty, Kingslayer..):Gregor's kid

Helen: NO! NONONONONONONONONONONONO�
Tyrion: Mountain SPAWNED? How did the mother survive? Why is the whelp still alive?

(she gets called that by sandor)

Hakkai: Capital �S�.
*Helen has gone catatonic.*

and Bitch(Joffrey calls her that)

Tyrion: This might be one of few times he�s right.

Death, and if yes, how?:I don't rlly

Hakkai: *wince* Really.

care if she dies or not

All (sans Helen): GOOD.

Minsc: Miss Helen is still not moving!
*Hakkai waves chocolate under Helen�s nose. She doesn�t even twitch.*
Hakkai: Oh dear.
Raistlin: My spells aren�t working.
Constantine: Neither are mine. Maybe a bucket of cold water?
Tyrion: And where could we get it?
Constantine: I don�t see you giving ideas.
Hakkai: Please, let�s not squabble now.
Fingon: *stares into Helen�s vacant eyes* I don�t suppose someone here has a harp?
Raistlin: And where could we possibly get one, Your Majesty, if we can�t even get cold water?
*Suddenly, left of where Fingon is standing, the air shimmers and space distorts. A harp materializes out of thin air.*
Fingon: Ah, excellent. Thank you.
*Fingon sings. He sings of hardships in Beleriand, and few triumphs that made them worth it. He sings of Grinding Ice, of despair and Hope renewed with Moon rising for the first time. Finally, he sings of the Days of the Trees, before the Darkness fell upon Aman.*
*No one understands a single word, yet they understand the song. All are touched and feel renewed. The dark clouds of Badfic seem gone for a moment.*
*A single tear drops from Helen�s eye. She stirs.*
Helen: That was beautiful. Thank you, Your Majesty. *bows*
Fingon: It was my pleasure, My Lady. *bows*
Raistlin: *mutter* Let�s hope they let him keep it.

Review here.

[Amarth]

A/N: Wow�It's been awhile�*goes through brain to find excuses* Ummm�I've been lazy, I guess?

Raistlin: Why didn�t you go on being lazy?

Anyways, introducing Alphonse Tagaryen!

Helen: Oh, good. I was afraid we�d have another one of those hidden Targaryens popping out of the woodworks.

(Also, Varys is probably waaaay out of character, but I tried!)

Fingon: You should try harder then.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I run to Varys, wanting to tell him first.

Minsc: Tell him what?

"They're back!" I yell breathlessly when I find him.

"Good, good, my little dragon." Varys says, before disappearing into a wall.

All:
Minsc: Magic or secret passage?

I follow him through the passage to a balcony where we can see everyone returning.

"Any observations?" Varys asks me.

"Well�The Stark girl, the one with the fiery hair�

Helen: There are two of those.

Arianna. She's eyeing the Kingslayer�"

Helen: Good. If she�s that obvious�
Tyrion: �my sweet sister will dispose of her soon.

"Oh, please, call him Jaime.

Tyrion: That�s Ser�*grimace* never mind.

Mustn't call people names."

Helen: One would think a Spymaster would invent codenames for important targets�

"Yes, Varys. The other Stark girl, the pretty one�.Sansa.

Helen: I can�t believe it! A Suethor admitted her Sue is not the pretty one!
Raistlin: Ah, but it isn�t author�s Sue.

She can't keep her eyes off of Joffrey. Tyrion looks amused�"

Tyrion: Wait. Why didn�t I go to visit the wall?
Helen: Because Bran didn�t fall so you don�t need to get arrested?
Tyrion: But I wanted to go to the wall!
Helen: But Jon can�t leave.
Tyrion: But I can!

"Is that any different from normal?"

"No, Varys."

"Then don't mention it."

"Cers-The Queen looks infuriated at the new Hand. Kyriana seems to be talking the ugly Stark girl's ear off�"

Helen: Oi, she wasn�t ugly. Just looked plain compared to Sansa.

"The ugly Stark girl? What did I say about name calling?" Varys sighs.

"Don't call people names. Arya, I meant. Not the ugly Stark girl."

Fingon: How uncouth!

"Right. You've been remembering names well, I'm very impressed.

Constantine (as Varys): *mimes patting* Good boy, here, have a cookie.
Raistlin: How old is the boy? Or does he have learning difficulties?

Now, tell me who they left behind." Varys says.

I inwardly groan. He gives me tests like this all the time.

"Well�The eldest son, Robb, the mother, Catelyn, the bastards, Jon and Jacklyn�" I start.

Tyrion: Why does it seem like everyone is expecting them to bring the bastards along?

"Are the bastards full siblings or half?"

"Half, Varys."

Tyrion: Didn�t know Ned Stark had it in him.

"Then don't lump them together like that.

Hakkai: Why not? It makes more sense than �the bastard Jon, the bastard Jacklyn�.

Keep going."

"Theon Greyjoy, and the youngest, Rickon." I say, thrilled to have made it.

"Very good. Remember who you are."

"A Tyrell bastard." I sigh. He asks me this every day.

"Are you a Tagaryen?"

"Yes." I answer, deciding not to play along.

Helen: Well, at least he�s not a Targaryen. There are more than enough of those running around.

"You'll make this harder on yourself� Now, are you a Tagaryen?"

"No, why would I be?" I answer robotically.

Helen: Which is impossible, since there were no robots in Westeros that he could mimic.

"That's more like it." Varys says, and we go to meet the Starks.

Tyrion: Why is Varys bringing one of his birds to the meeting?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A/N: That probably sucked,

Tyrion: Did it? I sure-
Hakkai: Ahem.

but please review!

�This time, you get the title character,� the voice explained.
Raistlin asks: "Does it even matter?"

Name: Alphonse

House: Targaryen

Helen: Talk about dissonant.

Gender: Male

Hair: Light yellow, short

Tyrion: Well, I suppose it�s easier for him to blend in that way.

Eyes: Red

All: WHAT?

Age: 8

Personality: Alphonse is a very smart, quiet and serious child. He barely jokes, he prefers watch to spoke,

Hakkai: Well�of course watches are more useful than spokes�but a lot of them contain spokes�

one of the habilities

Helen: How does a preference count as an ability?

that he learn

Hakkai: -ed.

from his stepfather, Varys, the Spider.

Tyrion: VARYS MARRIED?!?
Helen: I thought nothing could trump Ser Gregor having a child.

Bastard?: No

Helen: Then where did that blonde hair come from?

Feelings on the game of thrones: Knows that is a Targaryen, so the Throne is his right. Want�s

Helen: AAAAARRRRRGGGGGHHHHH!!!!!
Tyrion: Now I�m really curious about this �Angey��
Constantine: Curiosity killed the cat.

to rule the 7

Hakkai: Write it out, please.

kingdoms, but want

Hakkai: -s.

to be a good king, instead of his crazy father.

What characters that they're not related to do they know?: Varys (Adopted him, disguised as an Bastard of the Tyrell house),

Tyrion: Ah. That makes more sense.

Peter Baelish,

Tyrion: Any relation to Petyr?

James Lannister,

Tyrion: I can�t remember a relative with that name.

Cersei, prince tommen,

Hakkai: Capital �T�.

and Tyrion

Tyrion: Damn.

If Stark, direwolf:

Any rude/amazing nicknames(the Beauty, Kingslayer..): The prodigy (his skills in sword�s mastery and in ridding are tremendous),

Fingon: At EIGHT? I know children of Men age faster, but�
Raistlin: Impossible.

and called by Varys as Little Dragon.

Helen: What�s the point disguising his heritage if he�s going to give him an obvious nickname?

Death, and if yes, how?: He can Die fighting.

All: GOOD.

The voice speaks again: �And now, because this is the final chapter unless author continues, and just before Julian Easter, as the special treat, you will review the last submitted character sheet so far.�
The sporkers are on the edge of tears.

Name: Layla

House: Karstark

Gender: Female

Hair: Brown

Eyes: Blue

Age: 13

Personality: Intelligent, shrewd, witty, charismatic, diplomatic but not a pacifist (she can be cold and calculating when she needs to be), observant (she's good at reading people, situations, and plots), gracious (easily earning the respect and loyalty of others), extremely dutiful and loyal to those she cares about (the Starks in particular), she also has a mischievous streak (prone to pranking her siblings, the Stark children, and those she's annoyed with);

All: *yawn*

daughter of Rickard Karstark, she is considered very beautiful,

All: Of course she is.

resides in Winterfell as a ward to the Starks and companion to the Stark girls; enjoys archery and horse riding; respects Eddard Stark's sense of honor and justice highly, but thinks him ill-suited for courtly intrigues;

Raistlin: And what would [/i]she[/i] know of courtly intrigues?

she is friends with all of the Stark children, but thinks that Sansa is too trusting and a bit unrealistic; she often acts as mediator between Sansa and Arya; she is compassionate to Jon Snow's plight and befriends him.

Helen: Ooh. Do I see the third JSM?

Bastard?: No

Feelings on the game of thrones: Liked things the way they were, couldn't cared less about who's the king, as long as it doesn't affect those she cares about; she rises to the occasion when Eddard Stark becomes the Hand; maneuvering into the life of court in King's Landing,

Tyrion: Why would she be brought along?
Hakkai: As the companion for the girls?
Helen: But if she is a ward, she should be bound to Winterfell, not Eddard.

she plays the fool to observe everyone and everything at court and does all she can to keep those she cares about alive

Helen: Sparklypoo material if I ever saw one.

(If you follow the plotline

Raistlin: Obviously not.

she will help Arya escape but chooses to remain in King's Landing to

Helen: Get her head tarred and put on a pike.

watch over and help Sansa)

Tyrion: As if though Cersei would let any influence but hers anywhere near the girl.
Helen: Should you be referring to your wife as �the girl�?
Tyrion: Shut up.

What characters that they're not related to do they know?: Everyone in Winterfell.

Helen: FINALLY one who doesn�t list all the names. But wait�
Tyrion: Aren�t Karstarks related to Starks?
Constantine: Why can�t you two just be happy not to have to read another list?

If Stark, direwolf:

Any rude/amazing nicknames(the Beauty, Kingslayer..): Layla the Fair, the Wise

All:

(both as a tease and when people are annoyed with her)

Fingon: Neither name sounds very insulting.

Death, and if yes, how?: No

All: WE BEG TO DIFFER.

Review here.