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Posted: Dec 12 2011, 07:16 PM
Member No.: 45
Joined: 25-March 10
Title: Random Boxes-The MST
Author: MST by UltimateEvilLord1, story by Strawberry-ChappyForever
Rating: T for abuse in the first chapter. God knows what else.
Genre: Parody/MST, Sue…the works.
Text it is based on: Random Boxes
Summary: A Sue who draws blue phone boxes over her schoolwork with an abusive father happens to stumble upon 10 and Rose and the TARDIS, and it all goes off from there.
Warnings: I believe I’ve said enough.
Voice: It was a long time ago, in a galaxy far, far Hawaii…
Voice: Nothing. Anyhoo! The story begins when a young boy wakes up somewhere he recognizes as the Death Star, which the Sith Lord Darth Maul has taken over because…well, he states it’s because he was under-appreciated in the Star Wars movies. Personally, I see that as a pathetic excuse. His character seemed interesting, he looked cool, and from what I heard he got a lot of attention in comics and novels-
All: GET ON WITH IT!
Voice: Ah, right, sorry. So, the boy known as Ulti found some of his favourite characters trapped on the space station. They are…
Darth Vader, Lord of the Sith,
Vader: If I could just Force-choke that pointy-headed red-and-black backstabber…
General Grievous, Supreme Commander of the Separatist Droid Armies,
Grievous: Just you wait, all you Sith. I’ll get you one day…
The Witch-King of Angmar, AKA Bob, Lord of the Nazgûl,
Witch-King: Couldn’t you just have kept us all in Mordor? All this techno-stuff is strange to me…
And Davros, Kaled scientist and creator of the Daleks.
Davros: I should try and get something like that superlaser for my Daleks. The Doctor wouldn’t stand a chance…
Voice: Together, they have been forced by Maul to read horrific fanfiction in a torture method called ‘sporking.’ But I don’t really see why. There’s no use being mean and violent towards other people when they’ve done nothing to you-
All: GET ON WITH IT!
Ulti and the villains were currently lying about in one of the Death Star’s detention cells. There was little to do in the room, and they didn’t get out for lunch for another hour. Vader was practicing the proper way to hold your fist while Force-choking someone, Grievous was polishing his lightsabre collection, the Witch-King was polishing his sword, and Davros was polishing his robotic hand. Ulti was contemplating the pros and cons of stealing some of the aforementioned items-that-were-being-polished, or Vader’s fist, when the door opened and a Stormtrooper came through.
“Alright, time for another round of sporking,” the white-clad trooper announced.
“Do we really have to?” Ulti groaned. “It’d be easier to just kick your butt.”
“Just move.” Moaning and mumbling and groaning and putting away cloths (and fists), the group made their way to the badfic theatre.
“I hate the irony that rubs in from the fact they used to work for me…” Vader muttered under his repetitive breath.
Davros positioned his life-support chair beside one of the rows, and the others all took seats beside him. Then the screen lit up.
Right, so, believe it or not, the inspiration for this, came from a doodle I did on a math paper.
Ulti: And why weren’t you doing your math like a good child?
Actually, many doodles, two of the TARDIS, one of a Dalek (which I think turned out the best) a weeping angel, and a failed attempt at a cyberman.
Davros: That should be Weeping, Angel and Cyberman. But at least you spelled Dalek right. I won’t kill you just yet for that.
My mind works in strange ways...
Vader: Yeah, we noticed.
needless, to say, I didn't get that paper done...
Witch-King: Why was she even doodling on it in the first place?
Ulti: Because Doctor Who is awesome? But I don’t think even that is worth ruining your entire education, as could’ve been done with this if it was an important exam…
Grievous: Sounds like this is confusing you already.
Ulti: Yeesh, first proper line and capital ‘C’ Is away.
Andrew Smyth sat across from the headmaster's desk. His daughter Claudia sat next to him, tugging on a string on her uniform.
Davros: Um…is it possible to have so small an age difference that your father is at school with you?
Vader: Sounds like a place that has a high rate of pregnant teenagers.
The headmaster, Mr. Barnes, pulled a stack of papers from a drawer and set them in front of Mr. Smyth. They were Claudia's past assignments. All over the papers were doodles. Most of them were of a phonebox.
Witch-King: Isn’t that two separate words?
Sometimes the phoneboxes were colored bright blue.
Grievous: Gee, I wonder what that could mean.
Other times, they'd just be outlined on the paper. One of them had a little man waving hello from inside.
Vader: The description of all this is just blowing me away. Any chance of describing the man? Or even the characters?
"This has been going on long enough," Barnes growled. "It wouldn't be a problem, but for the fact that she constantly disrupts the class."
Mr. Smyth was quiet for a second. "How so?"
Ulti: Well she appears to be a Sue, who, so far as we know, has no knowledge about the Doctor or the TARDIS, and yet she draws them, and the lack of logic in that is just making the rest of the class go bonkers like I’m sure we’ll be driven to do as well!
All: Um…*back away slightly*
"If she's asked a question, she won't answer, too busy drawing-well, this!"
Davros: Hasn’t he ever seen a phone box?
He waved an angry hand at the papers, that
Grievous: Ah, the misplaced comma. *holds up Society for Neglected Commas jar*
Andrew was going through. The marks started out well, but as he shuffled through them, they got worse. Every paper had at least one drawing of the phonebox.
Witch-King: Sounds like something’s severely wrong with this girl…
Mr. Smyth shot a glance to his daughter who sank down into her chair, her face turning red underneath dark brown hair.
Vader: SUE TRAIT!
Davros: Sounds like a harsh dad.
"Mr. Barnes, I assure you, I will make sure this doesn't become a habit."
Claudia was so far down in her chair that Barnes almost couldn't see her behind the desk. Barnes cleared his throat.
"Miss Smyth, could you please wait outside for a moment while I talk to your father?"
"Yessir.." Claudia mumbled, practically jumping out of her chair.
Grievous: Muttering and jumping?
Ulti: They just seem to oppose each other…
Once the door shut, Mr. Smyth turned back to Barnes.
"I apologize, sir. She hasn't been quite the same since her mother died. I'm not sure where she got the box from. I don't know if she created it, or if she saw it somewhere, but I will make her stop."
Barnes nodded and Andrew left the office.
Witch-King: Really? That’s all you sent this Claudia out for? Doesn’t sound like something that private…
He pulled Claudia up from her chair by the shirt and held on all the way to the car.
Vader: Whoa, slow down there, Andrew!
Ulti: Was it really necessary to pull her along like that?
Grievous: Let alone taking all the sense out of this fic.
They were silent the whole drive back through London and as soon as they got out of the car, Andrew grabbed Claudia's shirt again and dragged her into the apartment, abandoning her bag in the car. He slammed the door behind them and threw her ahead of him. She stumbled slightly, then tried to make a run toward the back door. Her father ran ahead of her, then held his arm out making her run into it. Claudia fell backward, holding her now bleeding nose. Andrew grabbed the front of Claudia's shirt and hauled her up, her feet leaving the ground. His free hand wrapped around her throat and he let go her her shirt.
All: *just stare* ABUSE!
Vader: Did he have to launch into that? He could’ve just had a talk with her and sorted out her doodling issue.
Davros: Bt, lyke, im a sue, and ineeda ansty back stry!1!! lol!!1!
Grievous: *winces* I believe I’ve warned you about my sensitive hearing emplacements before.
Ulti: Oh, and there’s also an extra ‘her’ there.
"No more drawings. No more bad marks. No more trips to the office. If I hear anything about this again," he jerked her in his hand for good measure, then pulled back his free hand and punched her in the stomach, dropping her at the same time.
Witch-King: I bet ten quid this was how the mother died.
"Yes sir," Claudia choked out, rubbing her throat and gasping for air.
Davros: She doesn’t even call him ‘dad’?
Ulti: If it weren’t for the strong possibility of this character being a Sue, I’d pity her.
He walked away, fuming to his bedroom. Claudia didn't stand up until she heard his door slam, then snuck over to the front door. Cringing when it squeaked, she slipped out and started sprinting down the street.
Grievous: Erm…given what her father just did to her, doesn’t she get the idea that running away might possibly be a bad idea?
Vader: Either she’ll discover that she suddenly has some sort of power that will save her, or a handsome hero will come and sweep her off her feet, who will most likely turn out to be her unfortunate love object.
Ulti: Wow, you guys catch on fast.
People stared as she passed (it must've looked strange, a girl in a school uniform and bloody nose running down the sidewalk)
Ulti: *sarcasm* Oh no, I see them on my street all the time! Does she think we’re idiots?
but she didn't care. She didn't stop until she ran into something hard.
Witch-King: She had impaled herself on a sharp object placed there by the PPC to trap her!
Rubbing her head, Claudia looked up and saw-a phonebox. The one she had been drawing.
Vader: Oh no…please, no…
Davros: Brain bleach at the ready! *passes it out*
"H-how?" she stammered. A man in a brown trenchcoat
Witch-King: Two separate words!
stepped out with a blonde girl following close behind him.
Ulti: Rose and 10! Well, at least there’s something good about this.
Grievous: You forget that she’ll probably make them become extremely OOC and all the other stuff that comes with a typical Sue fic.
"Hello!" the man said brightly. "I'm The Doctor. What's your name? And what happened to your nose?"
Claudia just jumped to her feet and ran around the box. The Doctor watched her go and Rose peeked around the TARDIS.
Vader: So she runs into the box that she always draws for some reason or another, people come out of it offering help, and she just runs away and doesn’t bother to find anything more about it.
Witch-King: Trying to understand will just give you a headache. *takes a swig of brain bleach with everyone else*
"What was that about?" she asked. The Doctor shrugged and a man with messy brown hair ran by them, yelling at the top of his voice.
Davros: Doesn’t the Doctor have messy brown hair?
"CLAUDIA, YOU UNGRATEFUL BRAT, GET YOUR ARSE BACK HERE!"
"Umm.." was the only thing Rose could think to say. The Doctor looked suddenly serious.
"C'mon," he said, taking off after the man.
"Wait! Doctor!" Rose shouted, running after him.
They caught up with the man, only to find him holding the girl from earlier up against a wall on a vacant street. He hadn't noticed them yet and was punching her repeatedly with his free hand. She didn't seem to be moving.
Witch-King: A repeat of the mother’s death, no doubt.
Ulti: As horrific as it is, it could mean the death of the Sue, which would get this story over with.
Grievous: In the first chapter? Please.
"Running-away-will-only-make-it-WORSE!" he said punctuating each word with a blow. On the word 'worse' she let out a loud yell.
Ulti: Damn, she was almost dead!
He let her go and she slumped to the ground. The man kicked her in the stomach and pulled his foot back to kick her in the face when the Doctor shouted, "OI!"
The man turned around, foot still in the air behind him. The girl tried to push herself up onto shaking arms, then fell to the ground, unmoving.
"What do you think you're doing?" Rose shouted, looking shocked. The man sniffed, running a hand through his hair.
"Just settling a problem. It's none of your business. Get lost."
Vader: Yeah, in case you didn’t notice, this is how every normal dad solves tiny problems with their daughter. *drinks brain bleach through his helmet*
"Nah, I think I'll stick around," said the Doctor, hands in his pocket, one of them wrapping around his sonic screwdriver.
Witch-King: What’s that going to do? I repeat the man himself: “It doesn’t kill, doesn’t wound, doesn’t maim.”
Ulti: Someone’s been secretly watching my DVD collection…
"I'm staying too. Who is she?" Rose asked the man.
"My ungrateful excuse for a daughter, who needs to learn-her-place!" He kicked her in the chest three times and the Doctor could've sworn he heard a crack. Without thinking, Rose ran up and grabbed him from behind before he could kick the girl again.
"Get off me!" he said, spinning around and trying to fling Rose off. She clung on. "I said, GET OFF!" He gave one last spin, grabbing Rose's arm as he did so and she was flung against one of the walls, then the man ran as fast as his legs would carry him.
"Rose!" the Doctor yelled. She clambered back to her feet.
"I'm ok! Just go after him!"
Davros: Hm…now, if they catch him, that could lead to the Doctor becoming some sort of lawyer for child abuse, or whatever the earth term is. Now that would be interesting.
Vader: But frightfully OOC. *beat* Which, unfortunately, means it could happen…
Ulti: *deadpan* Joy.
The Doctor nodded and sprinted after the man, his long coat flowing out behind him. Rose stumbled over to the girl, sore from her impact with the wall, and knelt down. She checked for a pulse and didn't feel one. But something was off. The girl was glowing.
Grievous: Glowing? That doesn’t mean…
Ulti: I swear, if it does, someone’s going to lose their head…
All: *back away further*
Rose blinked a couple of times and shook her head.
I must've hit my head. It looks like she's-but, no-she couldn't be!
All: Please say she hit her head, please say she hit her head, please say she hit her head…
But when Rose looked at the girl again, the glow was brighter this time, and orange. It looked almost exactly like when Rose had seen the Doctor regenerating...
Witch-King: But the glow’s gold…
but this girl couldn't be...
Vader: Rose, darling, it’s a Sue. She could be a Sontaran in a Slitheen skinsuit for all you know.
Grievous: At least someone could probably come up with some good explanation for that.
Ulti: Why does it seem as if you’ve all been watching my DVDs? ‘Cause if you’ve been watching them without my permission…
Well, woohoo. Chapter one done.
Witch-King: And not soon enough.
Anyway, I didn't plan on making her dad the abusive parent. It just sorta happened.
Oh well, it worked didn't it?
Grievous: Um, not really…
So, please review!
Ulti: We’d rather not.
Your comments and advice are appreciated. Unless, your just commenting to comment and it doesn't have anything to do with the story...
Vader: Well, my first comment is to change that ‘your’ to ‘you’re’.
Maul: Alright, that’s the first chapter. Now off you go.
Stormtrooper: *comes through the door and starts leading them off*
Witch-King: Well, to cure the effect the horror of that fic had on us, I say we get back to watching the episodes.
Grievous: Where did we leave off? Waters of Mars, was it?
Ulti: You HAVE been watching my DVDs! The Precioussss DVDs! We loves them! We hates the nasty villains for stealing them!
Davros: I’m scared…
*They all run back to the cell, Ulti chasing after them*