Didn't It Blow Your Mind, Claude Frollo? [REVIEWS], Well, It Blew Our Minds!

Oh, you do the "who has the 'strongest' egg" too?

Awkward expression is awkward.

Won't work on "special ingredient". Unless she has that instant stomach pump and blood replacement machine from Fahrenheit 451, she shouldn't be getting anywhere with them so fast.

stoned!Iggy: But they away on the pink clouds and me all alone!

Off topic, when my mother and me went to Turkey, we saw a hookah for smoking hashish along those for tobacco in a shop.
(Oh, and feel free to spit.)

Everything kills in large enough amounts. But for pot, very large amounts are necessary. He should have been okay.

Why does that sound dodgier than the author intended?

Not to mention it isn't any more selfish than keeping it locked in a vault. Maybe the buyer would have given it to the museum or at least lent it for an exibition.

*raises hand*

Oh, Billy.

Good job, as always.

It's symbolic of Jesus breaking out of the tomb. In real life--the 4 year old won.

Awkward expression in my fault. I forgot to put in the strikeout code. I've fixed it.

Interesting. (And I'll resist the urge. )

Because the author is the only one who isn't reading the gay overtones with Frollo and Iggy?

Right? Nope, get used to ebul!corporate America for the rest of the story.

Oh good, at least it's not me.

Thank you.

You know, with all Danisha's whining about ebul!coroporate!America and conservative values in this story, I find it somewhat worrisome that she's in love with a man who thinks non-whites are the scum of the Earth, women need to be burned alive for being attractive, and anyone who doesn't conform to his standards is going to hell. Canon!Frollo would fit right in at a KKK meeting; I would have thought that CrazedWriter, as an African American woman, would be especially sensitive to his racism and sexism. Apparently not, however.

I guess my point is this: how can a woman who spouts ultra-leftist rhetoric in this story lust after a man who's so conservative he'd make Rush Limbaugh look like Ralph Nader?

Because in the end, this isn't Claude Frollo. This is a man who looks like the Disney drawing who lives in 19th century France masquerading as 15th century France, is a judge, has a young ward, and is very liberal. Even for the 19th century.

She blatantly violates every sci-fi rule of not influencing other times/cultures/realities.

I sense a setup for 'Nisha kicking bad guy ass...

ETA: Or not.

...is it just me or is there more going on in this chapter than usual?

No. Centurions got around on foot, no matter their serial number...
(Okay, maybe on ships sometimes too.)

Actually, hashish should have numbed the pain...
(Professional deformation strikes again.)

So, now he moved them back to future, right? Brilliant plan there...

Great job!

I know!

Ehh, in some ways, it's coming in a later chapter.

No, there's a bit more going on in this chapter and in the next two or three chapters.

Thank you. I thought that was off--never heard of anyone having a painful crash following pot.

And funny thing about the song Johnny B. Goode. At the time I wrote the MST, I didn't have the song, so I let the riff stand. But I actually do have the song now as my sister downloaded it (and we share the same iTunes account).

Thanks for the review!

Damn, this story is becoming needlessly complicated. It's not enough to have a medieval bank heist in this fic, but now Iggy is somehow involved with Theodora's box, which was hoarded by some ebul!corporate!millionaire, who somehow had a hand in getting Iggy expelled from college. Do I have that right? Maybe it's not that complicated and CrazedWriter's horrible writing skills are just making it seem more complicated.

Pssh, she can't even describe why Frollo and Danisha should be together! Although come to think of it, there's no real explanation for Frollo and Danisha's relationship beyond sexual attraction.

Um...uh...well...Fern can't change the outcome, because she's protected by...uh...MAGIC! Yeah, that's it.

Mac: Enjoy the war?

God have mercy, no. This strikes a chord with me since I'm a big "Foyle's War" fan.

You know, CrazedWriter, people from the 20th century would not be automatically better or smarter than people from the 15th. I wish you'd stop implying that.

Anyway, do we really expect someone with a name like "Emswiller" to be good? Remember, this is the author who named one evil character "Malus" and another "LeSabre".

I swear, CrazedWriter must have been going over an "Evil Villain Sayings" checklist to write this guy's monologue! All that's missing is, "I would have gotten away with it if not for you meddling kids!"

Jareth: These morons fall for that, don’t they?
Mac: Yep.

Sweet Jesus, CrazedWriter's not even trying!

But fitting, sadly.

So now not only is Frollo gay, but he's also a trannie!

Maybe Garrison was so horrified by Danisha's writing skills that he was motivated to work harder.

I can't believe CrazedWriter is bringing REAL PEOPLE into her story now. This is a new low.

Nice job, Mac.

Yeah, pretty much. Also, ebul!corporate!millionaire is the father of Iggy's one!twu!wuv!

It's complicated and CrazedWriter's writing skills aren't helping. She wants to write a mystery but a mystery means that the hero doesn't know everything. And how dare Danisha and the perfect sexy Frollo not know everything!

In the open letter I'm writing to CrazedWriter, I flat out called Danisha a whore.

ETA: Here's the section:

Exactly. We might have more information, but it doesn't mean that they wouldn't be able to connect the dots.

I think it comes up in some form in the future.

It is. I think it's because CrazedWriter probably has a degree in African-American studies and so she's kinda fangirling over her history crush. But it makes no sense why it's so important she get it from Garrison. Frollo certainly could give her a horse and carriage. She wouldn't look so out of place but then again, Danish wants to stand out.

Thanks for the review!

This post has been edited by MackenzieW on Apr 25 2012, 05:57 AM

I read the rant, so I already know, but...
Animal abuse on the top of everything? Srsly, CrazedWriter?

Might be slightly off-topic, but going through somewhat earlier-dated MSTs, I found Jules' "Silent Times" again. The writer of it isn't active on ff.net, but I found her on lj. Where she still actively writes her true passion: Orlando Bloom/Colin Firth graphic RPS.

Why bring her up? Turns out, she is a 2nd grade teacher.

I know it's fantasy. I know it's allowed, and isn't maybe that disturbing, considering some things I didn't mind reading. It's not really damaging anyone, and there is no reason she couldn't be a genuinely nice person and great teacher.

Yet between her and CrazedWriter, I'm getting a bit squicked about whom I will be letting take my care of my hypothetical future children's education.

Maybe it would be better if they didn't mention their work in the same place they publish their filthy fantasies? I'm sure I'm not the only person who had that knee-jerk reaction.

And now, the actual review:

Nah, that would be too interesting for this fic.

Well, it's kinda important to us non-US readers. And does 'Nisha live in Indiana?

Oh crap. Please don't tell me this fic has turned on zero-mode.

Great job, as always.

While I think that people need to keep their fantasies to themselves, I agree. Not just so that we aren't squicked out, but god forbid a parent ever puts two and two together to discover exactly who they are in real life. It could be enough to get them re-evaluated if not fired--no matter how good a teacher (though I doubt that might apply in CrazedWriter's case given all the historical inaccuracies and grammatical mistakes). Especially if they teach in a non-public school.

Yes, CrazedWriter is horrible at setting a scene, but everyone that isn't from France is from Indiana.

I worded that riff wrong. It was meant to be more: If everyone is from Indiana, would they really note that a person had a twang? It would sound more natural to them rather than if a New Yorker stumbled upon them. Then they would note the twang.

No, no. Some time in the 101 Dalmations fandom calmed him down.

Thankfully.

Thanks for the review!

Erik's a football fan? Wow, you learn something new every day.

Um...if he's just doing plain old bargaining, why exactly did they need to travel to the future for it?

My God, FINALLY someone from medieval times reacts to time travel in a reasonable way!

A thousand points Remus!

And, of course, this guy's a strawman racist. There's a surprise.

And the so-called "heroes" were LAUGHING ABOUT IT. This is more sickening than when the "heroes" laughed at the villains being tortured in "The Disney Seven".

More typical cliched villain lines, I see.

Wait...she's joking about two guys being hanged? Wow; Danisha's really a sadist. Maybe that's why she and Frollo get along so well.

I don't know anything about rottweilers, so I'm going to trust you on what you said, but I noticed the animal abuse as well.

No, no. He wanted to go to Indianapolis to kill Iggy. So he was going to take Mackenzie to see Peyton Manning play (I'm a fan of his). I wrote that riff before Manning was released and had to change it afterwards.

Because it's cool?

Seriously, that was the best reason I could come up with. And he sucks at negotiating. It's why I pulled out "Elizabeth goes free" from "Pirates of the Caribbean."

Remus: Thank you.

When I read that, all I could think was "Danisha and Frollo have no moral high ground. Up until now, you held it. If you held on to the box, presented it to the king and then revealed all twenty-one of Frollo's Secret Mistresses, that would've been a good story. But CrazedWrite won't let herself and Frollo be 'wrong.'"

And I have to remember this is written by a woman who teaches.

That was just horrible. And yes, rottweilers aren't vicious. My cousin wrestles with his but at the same time, they'll just plop down when I'm on the couch and just want to be petted.

Thanks for the review!

You mean, you almost took away that bright future for the sake of your whore's childlish games.
(I apologise to professional sex workers for comparing them to the likes of Danisha. Sadly, my vocabulary lacks more fitting words.)

And now I'm filled with nostalgia for Catechism lessons...

One, why would Constantine will a box, particularly one with such sentiment behind it, to a random noble? Two, only three owners in 200 years? For a History teacher, she sure doesn't seem to have a grasp on life expectancy in those ages. Yeah, I know she teaches US history, but surely they teach them some general basics first?

Then why wasn't it a desk job for US army in US? He would have been safer than in UK.

Wait, what happened?
I mean, footnotes should be okay...why put in A/N on the top of everything? And handwritten how? Surely typing it is less hassle than scanning...

It's still not over?!?

Good job!

It's the closest I've been able to come up with.

You may specify a period you'd prefer to teach, but I imagine you have to take other courses related to other periods just in case.

Because there were desk jobs abroad. It's a way to sound less sleazy--yes, I was over in England, even though I was working behind a desk. I was still in danger, though not as much as if I was on the front lines.

It's not an author's note. It's part of the actual story.

Here's what happened--Apparently Fern typed everything up. And then found out new information she wanted to add. And CrazedWriter, rather than writing "And at the end of the typewritten report were words written in Fern's familiar loopy scrawl" or the like to show that Fern added those words later. Instead, she wrote that lazy parenthesis explaining that the last part was handwritten despite the fact that everything is typed to the reader.

Nope. We got two more chapters.


And I'm going to warn you--if you thought Danisha, Iggy and them laughing at Rene being attacked by an abused, vicious dog was awful, you're going to rage when you read what they do in the next chapter.

Thanks for the review.

I figured there was one, but England was in more danger of direct attack, right? US mainland, from what I recall, wasn't really.

Did that happen in story or IRL? But either way, it's ridiculous.

I'm so investigating schools any future hypothetical children of mine might go to...

I doubt it. I already figured they are borderline sociopaths. Actually, I prefer reading about bloodthirsty and vengeful Frollo than "sexy" and domesticated Frollo.
And after Angey's child abuse and FrolloFreak's own torture scene in Disney Seven, I've kind of grown desensitised.
I think something about execution was hinted, right?