The Official Fanfiction University of Westeros, Brainstorming thread

Are you irritated with all the Mary Sues that popped up in the "A Song of Ice and Fire" fandom after the release of the "Game of Thrones" miniseries? Are you fed up with all the beautiful bastard children and lost Targaryen heirs appearing in Westeros? Do you get sick of telling people "Jaime loves Cersei! End up story!" or "Varys doesn't like anyone but himself!" or "The Hound is not a pathetic woobie!"?

Well, you've come to the right thread!

Post any ideas for the Official Fanfiction University of Westeros here.

Didn't GRRM kinda deconstruct that one with Brienne?

Though if you mean series continuity, you are totally right.

My personal pet peeve is Starkcest. Which is kinda prominent in book fandom too. And Theon/Rob/John.

And Arya/Gendry. Seriously, where did that come from? Why is it still ongoing? Was Gendry even mentioned lately?

Ahem. So, we should probably start by reading some...though I think Robb is the Leggy of the fandom for now (with maybe Jon coming in as close second), so we could have the Sue writing a Rob/OC fic...

We already agreed on the minis...

I think we should have Viserys teach all Targaryen wannabes about being dragons...
(His father might be a bit too much. Or not?)

As for teaching the girls they can't run around looking elegant and delicate in pretty dresses and then dress up as knights...well, all you have to do is put them in jousting armour and have them try to run around the court.
(Which, IMO, ruins the Lyanna=Knight of the Laughing Tree theory. Unless she was exceptionally butch. Or GRRM is making her an uber-Sue to put Dany to shame.)

Trying to last a round agains The Mountain as an exam?
(I'm guessing since OFUs make canon characters OOC, it shouldn't be too much of a problem...)

And then I had the crazy idea of having Rob, Jon and Theon have a OFUM-style lecture about how they are not gay...followed by Renly and Loras explaining how the gay romance actually works. But I fear that might not be that educational.

Hmm...who should teach spelling? We need a badass yet learned character...Tyrion is OK, but not scary enough to instill discipline...Tyrion could teach history and politics...Tywin?

And what to do with Red Viper?

What classes should we have?

I agree with you on the part about Robb, Jon, and Theon explaining how they're not gay. I really do think Renly and Loras should explain how a gay couple actually behaves--it might not be educational, but it would open the fanbrats' eyes.

I also think Robb and Jon should explain why incest is such a horrible thing, even for Westeros, using Jaime and Cersei as an example.

Definitely get Viserys. His father would be too much, and I'm not sure I could write him in character.

Also with you on Tyrion teaching history and politics. Maybe Maester Luwin and Maester Aemon could also be history and politics teachers.

Other classes could include:

The Role of Women in Medieval Society, taught by Catelyn Stark (she'd be explaining why your Sues can't just decide to be fighters. Arya, Brienne, and Asha Greyjoy can be guest lecturers to explain why they're exceptions)

So You Want to be a Female Knight, taught by Brienne ("You'd better be prepared to be mocked and threatened with rape wherever you go")

Spelling, as well as literature and folklore, could be taught by Samwell Tarly (and the Maesters, again)

Dothraki Culture or Stockholm Syndrome, taught by Dany. Or else Dany could lecture on how she and Jorah are really not a good pairing

Magic in Westeros, taught by Melisandre, Thoros of Myr, and Bran Stark

Westerosi Religions, taught by Aeron Damphair, the High Septon, Thoros of Myr, and Bloodraven

Medieval Justice, taught by Stannis Baratheon

Manners, taught by Sansa

Playing the Game of Thrones, taught by Littlefinger and Varys (although maybe they're so secretive they shouldn't even be teaching classes)

How to Rule Through Fear, Not Love, taught by Tywin Lannister

How to Rule Through Love, Not Fear, taught by Ned Stark

Conduct of the Night's Watch, taught by Jeor Mormont and Jon Snow (in answer to all those fics where Sues disguised as boys show up at the Wall)

How to Survive Being a War Victim, taught by various peasants who have managed to survive various atrocities committed by the Mountain that Rides and the Bloody Mummers

Jaime, Loras, Jon, and various other knights and warriors could give swordfighting lessons too, at least to the girls, to give them an idea of what it would really be like.

As far as Role of Women classes go, I'd think Cersei should join Catelyn, being on the other side of results-of-arranged-marriage spectre. We could also have Queen of Thorns as guest lecturer.

Or maybe we could have How to be the Power Behind the Throne class with Olenna, Varys and Petyr.

Or Varys and Petyr could be "invisible", like you said, and responsible for surveillance of the students.

As far as How to Play Game of Thrones class goes, doesn't it kind of fit the "politics" part?

Maybe we should separate History and Politics...

Sam is okay but...he is kind of too soft to install discipline. He could hold a lecture with Maesters (he could be included in them), but as far as basic teachers go, I think we need someone scary.

So many characters, so little space...on the other hand, the world is complex enough to have specialisations. First the Westeros and Free Cities division, then, for example, a class on Heraldry only could be done...Battle-lessons should be divided too, sword and spear and tilting. Oh, and archery.

Oh, and we completely forgot Assasination 101. (For assasin!Sues) We need both Faceless and a poisoner.

And don't forget Sewing and Embroidery! Even high ladies had to do that by themselves. I think Singing and Dancing was involved too...oh, and we so need Skinning and Dressing (of caught prey).

We could also have Blacksmithing...but we must have Horsemanship (Westeros and Dothraki). Maybe Hunting (there was quite a procedure involved), Hawking, Ravens and other kinds of husbandry (Dogs?)

And...er...Sex Work? There tends to be a prostitute OC every now and then...(Show!Petyr could kind of be there too...)

Many of them, I know, but like I said there are a lot of characters. They don't have to be mentioned in detail, just in a coversation, but they do have torture potential. Some of them may look as men-only, but since a lot of Sues insist on being included in manly activities...for example, Hunting would include sorting through fewmets (AKA animal poop). And do I even need to explain Skinning?

Manners might be better renamed to Etiquette. Justice to Law, with other lectureres? (With Ser Ilyn standing in the corner throughout every class. Being the embodiment of King's Justice and all. )

Love the idea of Tywin and Ned's classes.

I don't know about Jon teaching about conduct of Night Watch, though. He is prone to breaking them. Old Bear and Benjen, perhaps?

We could add Pyat Pree to "magic" part...

And I think I spotted a Wildling Sue or two, so...who do we torture them with?

And whom should we post to guard staff quarters?

Yeah, but I was thinking more of Littlefinger and Varys' behind-the-scenes work for this situation. But I like your Power Behind the Throne class better.

Tywin would do, I guess.

Good idea. And we can have Ser Alliser Thorne instructing all the Night's Watch wannabe Sues in weapons. And giving them nicknames.

Like your ideas for sex work, hunting, and animal husbandry classes (I can't wait to write about all those Suethors skinning animals!)

Craster, definitely. And probably Styr, the Magnar of Thenn, though he wasn't quite as disgusting.

I don't know, but it should be someone absolutely hideous and terrifying.

Sorry for not being more productive, but I just discovered...

You think Mountain's daughter was scary?

How about a Ramsay Bolton fangirl?

I'd link you to the tumblr, but I don't want to traumatise with all the gory and disturbing stuff author posted there while prepping for her dream hubby's (and no, I'm not overexaggerating) appearance on the series. Let's just say it's called "I Love You, Ramsay Bolton".



I really don't want to live on this bloody planet anymore! When are the Vogons coming?

I wanted to propose Ramsay and Mountain as guards, but...after this and "daughter", not even they are safe.

Maybe we can have Faceless lurking in the shadows?

ARRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!




Although it sounds like this...creature...is a sadist who gets off on torture porn, judging by how you said her tumblr was full of gory and disturbing stuff. It's still horrific, but for some reason, it's slightly better than some emo teenage fanbrat or FrolloFreak clone believing that Ramsay is just tragically misunderstood and needs some love. Because at least the sadist knows that Ramsay is a monster and doesn't care. Whereas the other people might think he was twagic and lonely and that Theon and Jeyne Poole were asking for what they got.

I'd say we still have Ramsay and Mountain as guards. After all, we've only met two of these weirdos so far.

Okay...

What about location? I had this odd idea that it could be Harrenhal...

Harrenhal would be great, because then the fangirls would be treated like peasants and would have to do chores under the likes of Weese. We can write them complaining, "But it isn't supposed to be like this! I'm supposed to be Dany's long-lost bastard sister who falls in love with Robb!" or "But I'm supposed to be a princess!" or "But I'm supposed to be a kick-ass swordfighter who goes to the Wall and sleeps with Jon!"

I just thought of something else. I think if we set the story in Harrenhal, the fangirls should all have to start out like Arya and the other prisoners did in "A Clash of Kings": lowest of the low, overworked, starved, and fearful. The classes would be the only contact they'd have with their favorite highborn characters. As they did better in their classes and learned more, they could be given better rooms and food and clothes.

As an aside, here's something funny; remember how we were discussing who should teach spelling, and I offhandedly mentioned Tywin? Well, it turns out that Tywin teaching spelling is show!canon now! No joke. In one of the episodes, he was telling some story about how Jaime had dyslexia, and finally Tywin got so fed up he dismissed the maester and basically cured his dyslexia through sheer bad-assery. It was bizarre as all hell, but a godsend to this story, wouldn't you say?

Jules, sometimes you scare me.

But then I remember what they do to characters, so I guess it's a good idea.

(I actually had old Harrenhal restored in mind, not Harrenhal under Mountain, but I guess this works better.)

Okay, I can see Tywin dismissing maester...but..."correcting through sheer badassery"?

Yep, definitely a godsend.

Maybe it's not such a good idea after all. I reread the OFUM, and I remembered how much I enjoyed the funny scenes: the welcome party at the beginning especially stuck in my head. If we put the students in Harrenhal under Mountain, the fic would suddenly not be funny anymore, and we'd have to write about some pretty disturbing stuff.

Maybe the brutal work can just be punishments, or detentions.

Yep, that sounds better.

Maybe we should set up Master of Detentions...hm.

Ser Ilyn?

ETA: Unrelated, but since we are already here...

For some reason, everyone and their brother seems to agree that Dany fell in love with Khal Drogo and it's icky. I never got the vibe. Yeah, she seems to adore him, but that's called Stockholm...and, well, let's not ignore how she grew up.

It seems I read a different book than anyone else.

Ser Ilyn would be great as master of detentions, although I still like the idea of him standing off to the side in Stannis's classes.

I agree with you on the Dany/Khal Drogo thing. Even when I was reading the books for the first time, it made me really uncomfortable. Not only was Dany only thirteen, but her sudden sexual passion and assertiveness was not believable. Let's also not forget the fact that Drogo was basically a Dothraki Mountain That Rides, without even the dubious excuse of being insane.

Yes. Though if you look at it like that, her assimilation into the Dothraki culture and worship of Khal Drogo make sense, because it was the first time in her life she wasn't being beaten and mentally abused, and the first time she had some power, even if it was marginal.

But a lot of people claim that the Dany/Drogo situation was a healhty relationship, and complain that in the show, Drogo just bent Dany over on her wedding night without doing the foreplay that was in the book (which, for the record, didn't make sense; I felt it was a bone Martin threw the readers to make the statutory rape less repulsive). They seem to forget that after Dany's wedding night, Drogo just came into her tent and raped her every night; hell, she was so depressed and in so much pain she contemplated killing herself! It was only after becoming aware of her relative freedom as the Khaleesi and how pathetic Viserys really was that she started to open up to her new life more. Granted, the show sort of messed this up by getting events out of order (i.e., Dany decided to ask Doreah how to please Drogo BEFORE seeing Viserys humiliated by her bloodriders), but the end result was the same.

In short, I agree that the Dany/Drogo relationship is icky and unhealthy. There are not many relationships that are actually healthy and romantic in these books, but there are a few: Ned and Catelyn, Jon and Ygritte, and Sam and Gilly are the most obvious. Then there are the relationships that are hinted at: Edmure and Roslin Frey, plus Loras and Renly, and even Tywin and Joanna, if you REALLY stretch it. So I'm not sure why Dany/Drogo is so popular.

By the way, I posted the first chapter of OFUW in the fanfiction section!

Okay, maybe someone else?

Actually, no, it's not what I meant. That's what a lot of people seem to claim though.

I never got much of that. I was under impression she sought out other ways of having sex in order for it not to hurt. Passion and assertion...well, she is a teenager. And I imagine she liked being at least somewhat in control of something for once.

Actually, no. Those are some examples of Fan Dumb. But most people complain about exactly the opposite. That it's not healthy, but Martin portrays it as OK.

It is. But what I was talking about is not their relationship.

Sorry, I typed in hurry so I guess it came off wrong.

Basic complaint goes like this: one of most-often complaints against the books are that they contain gratituous rape, and that Martin romanticised Dany's case by making her genuinely fall in love with Drogo. And that they condone rape in general. And that seems to be a widely spread opinion. Which means a lot of people just dismiss books without even reading them because they are assured they don't handle the "sensitive" subject as it should be.

Dany/Drogo...I guess it got popular after the show. I imagine it has more to do with actors than pairing.

Okay, I'll check it out.