MST: Morning Comes at Long Last [REVIEWS], Reviews, comments etc. go here.

You can read the MST HERE.

*blink* They were in old-school video game? Where random objects rejuvenate different stats?

Farewell, awesome!Gimli. You were nice while you lasted.

Because said friend has been continuously raping him for years? And so has his father, and his father, and his father...

Good grief, don't give her ideas!

I don't know but I want it.

Great job!

Man, if that were the case, they wouldn't even have needed lembas!

That's one of the bad things about Suethors' copying the movie script--besides the fact that it's boring plagiarism, of course: the Suethors can never discriminate between the good lines and the bad.

Go Gimli! If you leave now, we can read about your adventures, which have to be more exciting than this!

Again, go Gimli! He's totally my favorite character now.

We do, Gimli! *waves hand frantically* Peter Jackson may have turned you into comic relief, and Suethors may ignore you and belittle you, but we still love you and think you're awesome!

And then Aragorn would die at that point, leaving Legolas to wallow in more pointless wangst. "Oh, why didn't I tell him how I felt before he died? Why didn't I tell him I loved him? Why am I such a weakling? Now I'm all alone, blah-blah-blah."

I bet Legolas has X-ray vision now.

True: in bookverse, Frodo, Sam, and Pippin set off together. It was only Merry whom they met later. Then again, I doubt Tyger has actually read the books.

This was a boring first chapter, but you did a good job sporking it.

Sorry for the belated answer, folks! I've been pretty busy since I had to prepare for an exam, but it's now done.

Amarth:

Haha, looks like it! It would be pretty bad game, however, namely Custer's Revenge bad.

Yes, sadly awesome!Gimli gets replaced by barely-existent!Gimli. From now on, he's even mentioned in the fic only when absolutely necessary.

I think he meant Elendil. But yeah, the wording could be more clear.

Oops, me and my big keyboard!


Jules:

On the contrary; they seem to have an uncanny ability to choose the worst/boring lines. Maybe Suethors' sense of taste is a mirror image of that of normal people?

Mine, too. I mean, everyone else in the fic is such an idiot he really stands out.

LOL, it would certainly fit in the general tone since e.g. rapist!Denethor apparently has freezing vision, not to mention the various lethal gazes everyone else possesses in this fic.

Thanks! Yes, it was rather dull, but there is some real WTFery ahead, so it gets better (and easier to spork).

It does, at that.

This one was standard script-copy, so not much to comment on...but good job!

Thanks! True, this chapter was rather dull to slog through, as is the next one. Things will get more "interesting", though, in chapter 4.

You and everyone else, Faramir. Although why is tyger calling Legolas his "lover"? I thought they weren't having sex because Legolas was too traumatized. Did I miss something?

If Golden Razzies Awards existed for fanfiction, Aragorn and Legolas in this fic would definitely win "Worst Couple".

Go Pippin! You said what everyone was thinking!

Don't complain! If he runs away and never comes back, you'll finally be free!

With this fic's version of Legolas, it wouldn't be too surprising.

Y'know, Legolas, your over-dramatic whining and prejudice against Men is not making you sympathetic. I'm just saying.

Unfortunately, that won't happen. God forbid that tyger make this fic entertaining.

Nice job, Caranthol.

Well, maybe she's using the word in its non-sexual sense. It sounds rather tacky, though; maybe 'beloved' would be clearer.

Oh, definitely! The whole affair (pun intended) feels so fake and wooden it's ridiculous. Aragorn and Legolas as a couple just don't work in this fic, even disregarding the absurdity of Tolkien slash.

[sarcasm]Oh, but it does! He's a victim, you see, and victims have a free pass to behave as obnoxiously as they want! You see, we should all pity him and love him, since everyone knows someone who's got hurt is instantly a flawless angel who can do no wrong.[/sarcasm]

Well, in all seriousness I'm starting to suspect that's what the author really is thinking.

Yeah. She manages to make even the reunion of Gandalf and Aragorn & co yawn-worthy. That scene was one of the emotional high points when I first read the book (and still has an impact), so I was very disappointed how it was handled here. Should have guessed it beforehand, though.

Thanks! It's rather hard sometimes to spork the long script-copy sequences, but fortunately (or maybe unfortunately) the author is getting away from that territory soon.

...through his skills from his life before that as Sherlock Holmes.
Oh great, now this is reincarnation!fic on the top of everything.

Whoa. That's some AC.

Well, there you have it. Tyger hasn't even a shred of imagination.
It's not like we can ever expect any average ff.net writer to produce a sentence like:

I wouldn't be surprised.

Maybe the Curse of Noldor finally caught up with her and she's gone batshit insane.

Then why not just reply to the review, if they signed in?

Riders: Gawk at you like what?

As if though he isn't used to running around with armour weighing just as much on him.

Maybe she cannot write action scenes?

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!
(Sorry, but I had to. Either this or scream IRL. And since it's past midnight here, it wouldn't have been good.)

This is the reaction I'm having to this.

Don't forget the Pimp Cane of Stewardship!

GAAH!
I wish we were still reading the boring chapters. In fact, Tyger can write as much action-less movie script plus wangst as she wants, as long as she QUITS. WRITING. THE. BLOODY. RAPE. ATTEMPTS. AT. DAMSEL. IN. DISTRESS. LEGGY. ALREADY.

Great job!

Oh, I wish! At least that would be about ten times more entertaining than the fic now is.

Except for conjuring up contrived situations to get Legolas raped yet again. Oh, wait, those too are all basically the same.

Well, with the mass of reviews the story got I really don't blame Tyger for mass-replying. There were literally hundreds of those.

Oh, it's okay. I also actually groaned aloud (along the lines of "not again!") at that point.

LOL! Thanks for giving me the best laugh for a long time. And it really is the perfect reaction to this garbage.

*slaps himself* How could I miss that? Yeah, that about completes the picture.

Oh, there's a little surprise coming in that department. Stay tuned for the next chapter.

Thanks!

Sorry I couldn't review for a while. The latest chapter was sickening. Not only do we have more ludicrous ebul rapists coming after Leggy, but they came after him WHEN HE WAS ARMED. And he DIDN'T BOTHER USING THOSE WEAPONS, BUT LET THE RAPISTS TAKE THEM AWAY FROM HIM. I can't even say anything else, I'm too disgusted.

I know, the whole scene is just ridiculous. Isn't it funny, too, that it happens right after Legsy played with his daggers like some Mack the Knife and mused how tough he felt? Well, as I said to Amarth, fortunately the scene won't play out exactly like before. It will still be stupid, though, albeit in a different way.

Ah, movieverse.

*faints*

Er...I'm quite sure canon Legolas could...sure, he wasn't a waif but he wasn't burly either.

Given the fact he let them walk away, and isn't going to report them to Theoden, they probably do.

Aren't like over 90% of his actions in this story "feminine"?

Not to mention he never does anything in order to make things better.

Urge to kill rising.

So just because she is tomboyish, she can't gaze at people intently?

Good job!

Aw! Now Leggy can defend himself and magically fight off at least six men, all due to the POWER OF TWU WUV! Kill me. Seriously.

Kätchen (in horror): No, for all that is good and holy, please don't! Isn't this vile enough as it is?

On the other hand, it would definitely fit on Library of Moria. Remember, this is the site that gave us that Aragorn/Sauron BDSM fic, not to mention that delightful story about Saruman raping Grima and the Nazgul raping Haldir.

You know, this is another irritating badfic cliche: overemphasizing Aragorn's contact with the Elves.

Amen, Faramir! I swear, belittling Eowyn must be a fad among badfic writers.

Oh, God...can't breathe... NatureSinger!Aragorn is something I never even dreamed of, but all of a sudden I want to read a fic about it so badly.

Plus wasn't Legolas a tiny little waif earlier in this fic? Did the POWER OF TWU WUV bulk him up or something?

Poor Pippin. *sends over lots of pipeweed and ale* Damn you, Legsy the Weepy Wimp! You see what you've done? Your crybaby tendencies are contagious!

It really is. Legolas is still Aragorn's slave in this fic, no matter what bullshit he spouts about freeing him.

Sad but true, Katchen.

Great job on ripping this piece of shit apart, Caranthol.

Thanks for commenting, folks! There was some coursework to do so I'm answering only now.

Amarth:

I know; it's shocking, isn't it? I bet even Tyger was bored of Legsy's passivity at this point.

Well, maybe he could if he had space to move. In a cramped room, though, they could just bum rush him and crush him against the floor.

Oh, he's going to report them all right. What Theoden will do about it, however, is a different story altogether.

Well, yes, but not this blatantly. Now it's even more obvious how closely this crap follows your average Harlequin hetero romance clichés.

Jules:

Yeah, it's so stupid it hurts.

You are right, this fic would feel right at home there. Apropos, Nazgûl/Haldir rapefic? Somehow I feel a bit ill just now.

Yes, and Theoden too. It's annoying as hell, to be frank. I can barely understand how a young writer could see Eowyn as an angsty teenager with a crush. They obviously can't imagine how a real depression and grief feels like, so it's no wonder Eowyn gets so shallow treatment. But what I wonder is where the coward!Theoden thing comes from? Even in the movies he was nowhere near as craven as many badficcers portray him.

Me, too! It could be an awesome comedy piece!

Isn't falling in love supposed to cause a rush of hormones? Maybe falling for creep!Aragorn made Legsy's brain to inject a crapload of horse steroids into his veins.

Exactly. It's disturbing how this was obviously meant to be a positive thing.

To be honest, it's rather easy, since the thing just keeps tumbling into new lows every chapter.