[ our L A S T summer ]

[jordan lillies]

Living in an apartment complex was not something that Jordan was fond of. The bugs made it horrendous. There was nothing worse than having to play exterminator every weekend because some of the pipelines had water leaks. Yet Jordan was not one to complain for those things, because really it did nothing but add stress to the situation. Acceptance was something that the Lillies learned naturally. They accepted their living situation, they accepted the fact that their dad had to go to war, in fact the only things they wouldn't accept were the bugs as those made the place seem hideously rundown.

On this Saturday, of sleeping in and cleaning up, Jordan woke up unusually early with the vague urge to make some pancakes. She had bought some fresh blueberries from a fruit stand yesterday morning, and she would be damned before they went to waste. Yes, that annoying motherly intuition did hit her early in life, but for the most part it did her a lot of good. Putting her hair up into a messy bun, Jordan slipped on a pair of slippers and made her way into the kitchen in a pair of boxers that she stole from Lucky in the seventh grade, and her dad's old army t-shirt. She had developed a slight attachment that pajama arrangement when the boys left and even though the boys were now home, she couldn't help but hold onto them. They made her feel safe.

Humming a small tune, Jordan smiled a bit to herself taking out a the ingredients for the batter. It would only be her and Sabrina today. Corina was sleeping over at one of her friends houses, and their parents had left at six 'o clock for work. None of that mattered to Jordan, because she was very close to both Corina and Sabrina, and through all the excitement of the boys coming home, she had yet to talk to her youngest sister at all. The thought made her a little disappointed with herself, but then disappeared quickly as she vowed that today would be a day strictly for them.

[sabrina lillies]

Damn sunlight, coming through the window, all bright and cheery to wake her up. Didn’t it know that she hadn’t been sleeping very well, and for once she’d been able to get a full night of wonderfully sweet sleep? Groaning, she rolled over and yawned, looking at the ceiling. Sitting up, she shook her head, sending her hair flying, brown curls bouncing. Throwing off the covers, the slipped out of bed. Quickly making up the bed, she dragged herself down the hall to the bathroom. Washing her face with hot water like she did every morning, she grabbed her brush and headed back towards the kitchen, already feeling better. Not really taking notice of what her sister was doing, she sat at the kitchen table, and began yanking the brush through her hair.

“Morning, Jo,” Sabrina said, wiggling the brush through a knot. Why was Jordan still wearing that strange combination of sleepwear? Though she shouldn’t comment; she was in nothing but a pair of underwear, and a worn old tee shirt that she couldn’t even remember who’s it really was. Maybe one of their fathers, or one of Jordan’s old things, or one of Corina’s first experiments with sewing… actually, she didn’t want to think about where it had come from; too many weird possibilities.

“What’s for breakfast?” Knowing Jo, it would be wonderful, what ever it was. She’d been the cook of the family forever, neither of their parents having much time for it. Sabrina couldn’t really remember a breakfast that hadn’t been made by Jo, as sad as it was. It had always been Jordan at the stove in the morning, buttering toast or pouring out milk. ‘Mini-mom’ was something Corina had called her once, before getting whacked with a wooden spoon.

It was true though. Jordan did do a lot of things that a mother should. An early set motherly instinct is what she called it. Sabrina supposed that it would be good for her, getting all the practice she could for once Jordan had kids of her own. Which seemed inevitable these days. Not that Rina was going to protest nieces or nephews.

“What happened to those blueberries?” So Sabrina was a little scatter-brained in the morning. Who wasn’t? But she loved blueberries, and hadn’t had a chance to eat any yesterday when Jordan had bought them. If Corina ate them all, she was dead….

[jordan lillies]

Jordan washed her hands, getting all the sticky batter of of them before shaking off the water from her fingertips. It seemed like all of the dishtowels were in the laundry basket already. Jordan knew that was her fault, this week had been hard on her nerves, and that meant that the cooking was frequent. It was better than thinking about all the sudden changes that would be coming to the town. With a quick flip of the last pancake, Jordan put four on a plate for Sabrina, and two for herself. Her thinking of that she needed to keep her weight low, and Sabrina well, the girl's image was perfect so that she could savor a bit more than Jordan. She pondered about putting Sabrina's in the oven on low to keep them from getting cold yet Sabrina's entrance quickly dissolved that idea.

"Morning, doll" Jordan said with a light smile, it seemed to be her new permanent feature on her face since the boys came back from overseas. Having her father and Lucky back, relieved her, almost like she had been holding her breath all this time and finally got to let it out now that they were home. She was definitely in a better mood, despite the sinking feeling that everything, and yes everything, would go back to the way it use to be. Thinking of how Lucky would go back to messing around with Corina and how she would take her usual position of dutiful friend always made her stomach a little weak.

"Pancakes." Jordan answered Sabrina shortly before putting the plate with a tall stack of the blueberry pancakes in front of Sabrina. She gave a small quirk of a smile as she heard Sabrina's next question as she watched her sister look for the blueberries. "They're all right in front of you, Rina. i used them all up on the cakes, sorry." She explained with a slight laugh. Thank god that the Lillies absolutely loved fruit, it gave Jordan plenty of ideas as far as making breakfast and desserts came. Slowly but surely she had mastered many pancakes, muffins, breads, pies, crumbs, and tarts. She felt almost like one of those stay at home moms who served large three course meals, and watched Martha Stewart and the Soaps. No, she didn't want to feel like that yet, maybe in thirty years but definitely not now.

[sabrina lillies]

Giving Jordan a half-hearted glare as the girl place a whopping four pankcakes in front of her, Sabrina smiled almost devilishly at her sister. She may eat a good bit, but really. Four? “Trying to make me fat, Jo? I mean, I know you’ve always been a little jealous of me, but really, can’t you think of a better way? Maybe cake instead of pancakes?” The picture of innocence, smiling so sweetly, so cut of a piece and bit it off. Savoring the delicousness of the berries, Sabrina swayed with pleasure.

“It’s okay, so long as Corina didn’t get them all, like she always does with the raspberries, the pig. Though, I have to admit, I was hoping for a pie.” What was it with her a sugar recently? She’d had a huge sugar craving lately; maybe it was all the stress, and she was trying to bury it under sweetness. Besides, not much could beat one of Jordan’s blueberry pies… except maybe her lemon meringue pie. Was their anything her sister couldn’t make? Unlike Sabrina, who could mess up toast if she tried. Maybe it was time she asked Jordan to show her a few things. With the announcement of marriage and kids by twenty for the boys, it seemed that a young marriage was unavoidable. Might as well be able to bake.

Finishing her second pancake and starting on her third, Sabrina watched her sister. She was seventeen; for boys her age, that meet getting married and having two kids in three years. Rather scary. She wondered how Lucky felt about it; well, Jordan should know. Come to think of it, she didn’t even know how Jordan felt about the whole mess. It had been too long since she’d really talked to her oldest sister. Swallowing a bit of pancake, halfway done with the third, she asked, “How’s life been on the Jordan side of things?”

[jordan lillies]

A smile caught Jordan's lips as she heard Sabrina's comment. "Fat?? You caught me. We need to get some meat on them bones." She teased with a soft laugh. As she passed her younger sister she pinched her side playfully. "Yep we need to make you look a healthy child-bearing woman for all of those soldiers coming home. " She added on but quickly caught her words with a wince. Truth was Jordan wasn't sure if she wanted the conversation to go in that direction. After all, it was a lot of pressure to ask teenagers to be preparing for marriage nonetheless war. She didn't really care for the forced business, but at the same time a quiet and hardly ever noticed part of her felt that it was a great thing.

Insecurity wasn't something that Jordan was very familiar with. She knew that as far as life went that she could always take care of herself. After taking care of her two sisters, taking care of herself would be a nice break. Yet, there was always a sinking feeling that it would always only be her. That wasn't what she wanted at all. It was hard split in feelings: Not wanting to be alone, but not wanting to settle. Sure, the pressure on the boys to marry would probably make it easier on Jordan in the end just to find someone, but she didn't want someone to like her just because the government was demanding it. It was a complicated twist, trying to find true love when she wasn't sure it existed. In the end, Jordan who thought out most things was just at a loss. The idea of love... well it just left her tired.

Sitting down next to Sabrina, she happily munched down on her half a stack of pancakes. She loved being able to cook. It was rather funny how much keeping her hands busy, kept her minds off of things. Her sisters could easily tell how stressed Jordan was by how much she cooked, and due to the fact that she couldn't yet see Lucky even though he was back, well the stress showed. The night before the boys came home the kitchen was littered with all the pies, cakes, brownies, tarts and cookies that Jordan could even think to make. Her reason was that she had no idea what her father would feel like when he came home. So she just filled the kitchen to the brim with all sorts of baked goods. Hearing Sabrina's question, Jordan swallowed a large piece of pancake, while thinking how to answer. "Well, you know how frantic I've been with the boys coming home. It just feels like I have been on a strong caffeine high for the last three weeks. I don't know when it will just leave, you know?" She stated truthfully. She was a bit worried that she might just pass out from the overexcitement. However, she hoped deeply that wouldn't happen, she wanted to believe that she wasn't a fickle woman. Pausing for a moment, Jordan finally reflected the question: "And you? How's life treating you Sabrina?"

[sabrina lillies]

Sabrina winced as Jordan passed her, and it wasn't from the pinch. What away to phrase a topic, Jordan. And her being a child bearing woman? That was a scary thought. She hadn't thought about it before, but this would really effect her also. Married and two kids by twenty...but she was only fifteen! She had five years before that, right? And it was only a requirement for the boys. Yet, boys needs a girl for those things... two kids before twenty. That was a minimum of 18 months, if you had them one after another. Say two kid in as many years. That left three years for finding someone you'd want to spend the rest of your life with, assuming you started on the kids problem as soon as you got married.

Five years was starting to seem a lot shorter than it had before.

Pushing the leftover crumbs from her pancakes around her plate as she listened to Jo, Sabrina sympathized with her. There had been way too much excitement in the air the past few weeks. Keep going, keep going, push, they're coming back, get ready! Everything has to be ready, rush around, don't stop. It had been rather exhausting.

"It's been tiring. But, I feel like I haven't done anything lately. It's like being lazy has sapped all my energy," she replied. Sabrina shrugged, thinking how nonsensical the statement might be to others, but for the Lillies sisters, vague idea came across as perfectly formed, concise concepts. Strange, yes, but definitely useful. "I' sure things will get back to normal once things settle down a bit more." With any luck, that is. Unfortunately, Sabrina wasn't felling lucky this morning.

[jordan lillies]

Jordan gave way to a deep sigh as her thoughts drifted to marriage. Her baking nonstop had been good for two things, one it fed the people she loved, and two it took her mind off the pressure they were all experiencing. Yet, now that she had said the word "marry' well the whole thought and the epitome of it was devouring her senses. As she finished her pancakes and distractedly took her and Sabrina's plates to the sink, she couldn't help but let the idea of marriage sink in. Married with two kids before she even hit the legal drinking age. It sounded absurd. Downright absurd.

Hell, what was even more funny was the idea that she would find someone by then. Well she knew someone, but well the Lucky she knew wasn't the type for marriage. He was the type that would skive it off, and probably get away with it. Though with him coming home, she had no right to assume his thoughts, she couldn't help but just remember the old Lucky. The one that slept late in class and continuously had to be reminded to buy protection. Yes, that was the one she knew, and unfortunately fell in love with. He was also the type that probably wouldn't settle down until he was lonely, and that meant he had at least another decade in him. Lucky, well he was the only one that Jordan could actually see herself with for the rest of her life, but she had the feeling that the idea would only remain a fantasy. Eventually she would want to, no she would need to move on to someone else.

Yet, Jordan shook herself out of her depressive moment as she heard Sabrina's words. They drew a quick smile to her face. That was one thing that she could always count on: her sisters to rescue her from melancholy. A small laugh rised from her, as she thought that laziness could be tiring. She knew exactly what her sister meant of course, however the idea did seem more than a bit silly. At the sound of reinstated normally, Jordan gave a blissful sigh. Oh wouldn't that be great, to finally remind everyone that they were just kids and have the usual carefree summer. "Well Sabrina, I sure hope so," She replied breaking out the a dreamy smile once again in reminiscence before continuing. "Because girl, I am sure tired of all this excitement. Its nice to have the boys home don't get me wrong, but I am so ready to go back to how it used to be."