Something Different, just a piece of mine
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Something Different, just a piece of mine| Death_Rose |
Posted: May 20 2005, 01:08 PM
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Lace  Group: Members Posts: 11 Member No.: 16 Joined: 20-May 05  |
To create a perfect world. Is to try and create the impossible
To move a dimension. Is to try to move the improbable To see the future. Is to try and see the unknowable To touch a dinosaur. Is to touch the untouchable To know everything. Is to try to know the meaning of life this was something i did while bored in class  -------------------- The Forbidden Rose Is Something Special
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| Scattered |
Posted: May 25 2005, 02:04 PM
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 Lace Group: Super Moderator Posts: 40 Member No.: 5 Joined: 26-November 04 |
Oooh, I like it.
I'm not too good at complimenting, just insulting, lol, but there's no need to insult this poem, it's really good. There's just one MAJOR flaw in it.... I DO KNOW THE MEANING OF LIFE!  ... <3 --------------------  Dir en Grey - fuck yeah! <3 New album from Tool, they are the fucking sex, can't wait for the end of the year! |
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| Samurai_of_Honour |
Posted: Jul 17 2005, 02:35 PM
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Lace Group: Members Posts: 14 Member No.: 17 Joined: 20-May 05 |
Hey I agree with Scattered, I like the use of onomaetopia (did I spell that right?
 ) , but I also see a flaw...and no, I dont know the meaning of life, you must tell me it sometime, Scattered! I think the dinosaur part kinda puts the tone of the poem a little out of whack, maybe if you put something else in it, like to do with dimensions, or emotions, perhaps?Just a suggestion, but otherwise its pretty cool,  Samurai |
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| Death_Rose |
Posted: Jul 17 2005, 03:31 PM
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Lace Group: Members Posts: 11 Member No.: 16 Joined: 20-May 05 |
the dinosaur part is to do with that you to touch somethign dead extinxt (hope thats right) so there
it does fix if ur me -------------------- The Forbidden Rose Is Something Special
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| Samurai_of_Honour |
Posted: Jul 20 2005, 11:52 AM
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Lace Group: Members Posts: 14 Member No.: 17 Joined: 20-May 05 |
Ok then, why dont you try something more ambiguous? Like...fossils, or shells, something more poetic? Dinosaurs just gives it this real boring....ruin to the poem, I feel, but hey thats my interpretation!
Samurai |
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| Death_Rose |
Posted: Jul 22 2005, 11:38 AM
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Lace Group: Members Posts: 11 Member No.: 16 Joined: 20-May 05 |
ok then just give me a few more words that i could replace it with see if i liuke any
Death -------------------- The Forbidden Rose Is Something Special
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