The Lost Pyramid of Apophis.

Egypt
30 Miles North-East of the Siwa Oasis

The deserts of Egypt were beyond vast, covering thousands of square miles they were literally an ocean of sand. The desert had seen the rise and fall of civilizations, war and peace, and some quite remarkable moments in human history. But the desert was more then just a place, more then just a witness to history, it was a keeper of secrets. The churning sand had a habit of swallowing up the past, from villages to entire cities, much was hidden away under the sand dunes of the desert.. Just waiting to be discovered, or maybe unleashed?

It'd only been a couple of months ago when an Egyptian Air Force Pilot had noticed a strange rock formation 30 some miles north-east of the Siwa Oasis, upon closer inspection he realized it wasn't a natural rock formation but a previously undocumented pyramid which was half buried in the sand. Soon world famous Egyptologist Achmed Massri lead a scouting party to the site. What they discovered was quite remarkable, not only had they found a previously undiscovered pyramid but signs of a number of burial chambers that suggested this was some sort of necropolis! The discovery had sparked headlines around the world, and soon Professor Massri had found funding for a full excavation of the site, complete with a film crew following him around.

The most astounding thing about the site was the fact that the burial chambers that they were finding seemed largely undisturbed, and full of artifacts. By the second week of the expedition, another tantalizing discovery had been made near the base of the Pyramid. A toppled stone that'd been buried deep beneath the sand with the passage of time. Upon it was an inscription that told a story of the Egyptian God Apep, Known also as Apophis by the Greeks. Though stories of Apep and his struggles with the Sun-God Ra were well established in Egyptian Mythology, this inscription detailed a previously unknown story that seemed a little out of place.

It told a story of how the demonic Apep fell to Earth and began to terrorize the Egyptian people, devouring the souls of men and turning others against their fellow country men. It spoke of how the God was immortal, apparently immune to the weapons of mortal men. The people soon believed the Gods had forsaken them and that the end for them all was near. But a priest devised a plan that would use the nearly completed pyramid, one that had been intended for future use by a pharaoh. The priest was able to lure Apep into the bowls of the Pyramid upon which the complex was sealed, trapping then both inside forever. It also offered a grave warning to future generations not to disturb the site.


It was a fascinating tale for the experts who were now curious as to what was actually inside the pyramid? Because obviously this was just a mythological tale with no basis in reality! And so Professor Massri began digging around the area where the large cover stone had been discovered. It didn't take long for the excavation to unearth more of the complex, which had apparently been added over time. They also began to realize that the pyramid of Apophis ((as some were calling it)) was quite a bit larger then previously believed. Then some 10 feet below the surface they discovered an entry chamber. The walls of the chamber were covered with inscriptions warning of an ancient evil that should be left undisturbed. Then a corridor was found that apparently lead down under the Pyramid which they presumed was the entrance and at the end of it was a large cover-stone that blocked the passage.


It was soon realized that the stone could probably be opened without damaging it or the surrounding structure, and plans were made to do just that. There was much speculation that the pyramid was actually the final resting place of an Egyptian Pharaoh and could offer an amazing cache of artifacts. And seeing as Professor Massri loved the glory of such amazing discoveries? Popping that passage open was a no brainer! While preparations were made, Professor Massri was able to work the media into a frenzy over the possibility of undiscovered treasure and mystery. That meant he gave probably two dozen interviews in a two week span. On top of that? He'd arranged for a camera crew to follow him in and cover the discoveries as they were made. It was hoped that this would be his his crowning achievement that he'd be remembered for.

After three weeks of preparation the time had finally come to open the passageway. Much work had gone into the preparation of the site, which included the stringing of lights down the corridor and a hydraulic system that would allow them to open the stone door way. Professor Massri was already down inside the entrance complex, studying some notes on his work bench as the camera crew made their preparations on the other side of the chamber.

The events would be filmed and shown a few hours later in America, hopefully to a large and captivated audience, at least thats what Massri and the network was hoping for. But the Professor had seen others do such events live, and after a frenzy of hype and media attention they found much embarrassment when they discovered.. Yes.. An empty tomb. Which could mean the death of a career and so the Professor was cautious.

If it turned out the pyramid was empty? Well he'd figure out something before the program aired. As the time approached his assistant approached him and spoke softly. "Professor, Its almost time. The camera crew is ready." In turn he offered a smile and a nod. "Thank you," So the time had come for fame and glory or disappointment.. Either way it'd be an exciting time for him professionally.

Massri collected his tools of the trade, including a flashlight and satchel with some of his tools in it. And within ten minutes he was standing before the camera crew, with a wide smile. "Good evening, I'm Professor Achmed Massri." Which launched him into a five minute monologue detailing a breif history of himself, the excavation and what the audience could expect. And then it was time to move out. "If you'll follow me, we'll begin our journey into this ancient underworld." And with that Massri started off down the corridor, descending down into the corridor that lead to the inner-entrance chamber of the pyramid. Following with him was three assistants, plus the four man camera crew.

It took them about five minutes before they reached the bottom of the corridor. And there stood the large cover-stone that'd been set in place thousands of years before. There were some inscriptions on the stone, more warnings which Massri explained to the camera while his assistants prepared the hydraulic accurator which would use hydraulic force to push the stone doorway open. "And now lets see what lays beyond this grand gateway!" And on that note they started the machine, the electric motor began to strain as it applied immense hydraulics force against the stone. The chamber shuddered as the system strained but soon the door gaveway and a plume of dust jetted out from around the corners causing the Professor to cover his mouth with a wet rag. It took a few moments but the dust settled, and the Professor stepped through the gap between the wall and stone door while whipping out his flashlight to illuminate the area. The camera crew soon followed behind him as they began the exploration of this forgotten place.

They navigated another corridor that had a couple of twists and turns, but when they found the first side chamber? They were quite surprised to discover it was bare. Not filled with treasure for the afterlife as some had hoped. But they continued, deeper and deeper into the complex. They discovered more chambers, and still.. Found nothing.
The Professor was finding himself increasingly perplexed by the situation, and growing more fearful by the moment that he'd been wrong and this place could be empty. "Well I must admit I'm quite perplexed, I would expect some of these chambers would at least be decorated with some inscriptions or perhaps.. Contain the remains of those important to a pharaohs court. But as you can see.. The chambers are quite barr..." But Massri was cut off in mid sentence by a noise that was coming from somewhere up ahead. He cocked his head as he listened for it again, the camera crew seemed a bit alarmed but they continued filming as Massri moved forward. "Come, lets explore further.."

As they continued one of Massris assistants got out ahead of them as he lit up the areas ahead of them with his flashlight, in the distance they saw the entrance to another chamber to their left and the young man trotted forward to check it out. But as soon as he stepped around the corner, some thing grabbed him! The young man screamed in terror as he disappeared around the corner and then a momentary silence followed by the sound of crunching bones and grizzly sounds. Professor Massri's mouth dropped at the sudden, unexplainable turn of events. "is this.. some sort of gag?" Asked one of the members of the camera crew, but before he could something leaped out from the shadows and pounced Massri's other assistant who screamed in agony and sent the others, including Massri fleeing back down the passage. The camera man though kept trying to turn back and get a shot of whatever it was, which was difficult given the low light. But then it.. the creature, whatever it was charged forth again!

For a few moments the camera man caught the creature on footage, and it resembled some sort of reptilian monster, like a cross between a snake and a crocodile or maybe best described as a dragon the size of a medium sized brown bear. And on top of all that? It was quite fast as it scrambled towards them this time setting its sights on the boom-operator in the crew, who caught a glimpse of its eyes and stopped dead in his tracks.. Both Massris and the camera man yelled at him, but it fell on deaf ears.. Literally, it seemed as if the man was in some sort of trance.. And then it happened! The creature knocked the man to the floor and clamped down on his chest, chomping down a couple of times and then it sat there on top of him, as if it was inhaling the mans very essence. But they didn't really try to observe this creature in its natural habitat!

They were too busy trying to get out of this place, but before they could escape the creature came for them again, taking another in the camera crew. Professor Massris knew that this creature could probably kill them all before they reached safety, and as such he knew what he had to do. While the creature took the fourth to last of them he stopped. "Over here! Look at me!" he yelled while waving his arms franticly before charging past the beast in the direction they'd just come, knowing perfectly well he'd probably just given up his life.. But the beast took the distraction and went full bore after him, as the two remaining men scrambled back to the surface.

Once topside they told of their ordeal and almost immediately the Egyptian army which had been providing security sent a five man team into the pyramid to search for the Professor and the beast. Within 30 minutes heavy automatic weapons fire could be echoing from the bowls of the complex and then.. Nothing. The patrol disappeared as well. By the following morning the Egyptian Military had locked the site down and expelled most of the civilian workers. Upon examining the video footage, they knew the creature was something not quite of this world. And thus a call was sent out for those who had a little more experience in this field. But until that help arrived, the excavation site would remain under military lock down.

Earth.

Merciful, it was so primitive. But that was the reason why Carran scientists had been visiting this place for several years. It was primitive, on the level of how the Carran Republic had been shortly before space exploration had began literally tens of thousands of years ago. Nation states warring each other, retarded ideologies going rampant, lots of crimes in the name of strange gods -which of course didn't exist- and those ideologies. But on the Carran homeworld all those issues had been resolved by space exploration, and the final war, which had destroyed a certain fascist ideology and had brought the free people closer together. The war against the “Light of Truth” and the first colony in space had effectively ended the long history of different Carran nations. One united republic had risen from the remains of nations and countries and today it was spanning a whole galaxy with trillions and trillions of Carrans.

Primitive, overpopulated, full of crazy people. So why had she come here?

Exploration, it was that simple. Carrans always had a certain natural curiosity and Hisa wasn't really much different there. Besides, what other chance did she have to see a civilization that was just like the Carran Republic shortly before they went out into the stars?

Agreed, the place stank. Humans had a strange body odor, but things could have been a lot worse. Hisa had met species with worse stench than humans. Yes, such species existed, even though it was hard to believe.

Of course she was no scientist. No, her interest was simply personal. The way it was, she was simply taking a few years off from active service. Officially she had resigned from her post, but with her experience she could certainly return to the Republican Army. But the most interesting question was: why would a species name their world after dirt?

Scores of historians and even psychologists inside the Carran Republic had tried to figure out this one. These humans, these smelly primates, who were so stuck in their stupid ideologies, retarded religions and ridiculous superstitions, were apparently the only species in the explored universe, who had named their world after dirt.

Hisa had travelled this place for about a Carran month, but she had not found a solution yet.

These humans were just... odd.

She had left behind this so called United States of America -which had reminded her strongly of the one nation called the Confederate Colonies of Cantha, which had spearheaded the space exploration, which ultimately had led to the birth of the current Carran Republic- and had originally wanted to travel across this cute little ocean which the locals called “Pond”, when she had decided to take a detour. Hisa had heard of this place called Sahara, which seemed to be a vast desert, which, by itself, was already rather odd. Sahara, or better said sa'h'ara, was a very famous dish on one of the Carran core worlds. The naming conventions of those humans were... strange!

So there she was now, in this Sahara desert, dressed in Carran desert camouflage -and thus almost impossible to see for humans, even with infrared and other devices, the Carran system were, after all, vastly superior, and even in days where most battles were fought with assault carriers, transformer cannons and mass drivers, the fighting power of the common grunt was still an important factor, and thus the Carran military had spent thousands of years perfecting the art of how not to be seen-, covered with a bit of sand, and watching this strange thing -which somewhat resembled the El'zan tombs on Carran Prime, though the difference was, that the El'zan tombs had had a hexagonal base, while these human versions had a square base- through her binoculars. Apparently the local military -toy soldiers from her point of view- had sealed off the area, for whatever reason. Of course, with the technology in her ship -which was now cloaked- she had heard one or two things. In fact, those few fragments that her computer had managed to translate -why were some of the human languages so horrible on the ears?- had led her here.

Curiosity had gotten the better of her. And now she was wondering what was going on inside this thing, which had been called “pyramids” by humans.

River had been having quite the dull day. She was on one of her trips away from the Doctor and was missing him. But they often agreed that small trips away kept things fresh and they were still planning the wedding. Besides, he was off working on saving some planet she couldn't even pronounce.

Her mind flashed to their last meeting.

When River was angry it was a dangerous thing to cross her. All of her colleagues knew that. She was so dominating like the typical red-head. Her colleges hid outside her office when she and that mysterious man, who everyone knew was her lover, came swaggering into view without remembering to let her know where he is for more than two months.

He was bound to be in the firing line of one or two books.

Including that oddly decorated blue diary of hers:

“Ouch!” cried the Doctor, rubbing the ear a book end caught. “Why, why does it always have to be the books?”

“I like books,” River replied. “They have pointy ends.”

“Look, I’ve been chasing down cybermen in the year 10,000 and I didn’t think,” the Doctor replied.

“I was worried about you,” River replied, settling down. “Just because you’re the Doctor doesn’t mean you can’t bleed. You could have been anywhere out there, lying on the floor of some laboratory in a pool of your own blood, both your hearts burnt out or pierced, unable to regenerate, and I would never know… so the least you could do is remember that there is someone at home waiting for you to come back safe.”

“I know,” the Doctor said, walking slowly forward. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.”

They threw their arms around each other, breathing in each other’s scents and feeling each other’s heartbeats. River always found the feel of the Doctor’s two hearts against her the greatest comfort of all. It was the only way she could tell it was him no matter what face he had. Not many men had two hearts.

“I’m sorry for shouting at you,” she said, taking a relaxing breath. “I was just so worried about you. It’s not easy being at home while you’re away.”

“I know, I know,” he kept saying. “And I am really, very sorry.”





She'd just finished the paperwork piled on her desk when she heard about a strange incident in Egypt. That got her attention. She had to go check this out, it was like the very scene was made for her. And it might get her mind off the Doctor. certainly would be helpful if it did. After all who wanted to professor who was having a bit of a mood issue due to her... needs? She made some calls, got the travel plans arranged and got a small, but trustworthy team together.

The desert was hot when they arrived and for most of the ride, when they arrived in Cairo and were taken to Giza, it was nothing but sand, rocks, and sun; even River'd been reduced to a flowing dress that barely skimmed her knees. It was creams and light tans, far too girly to look imposing in, but it was damned hot. Oh she certainly looked feminine like this, far less domineering professor than she ever usually did. Even her hair was tied back with a ribbon, it's a look she's sure to be teased about. But after the briefing by the security and the team who saw the creature, she heads inside with her team. Professor Massri was not as helpful as she'd hoped, but she could blame the shock she supposed.

The Doctor might frown upon her for weapons, but she was armed modestly And the intrepid exploration went in. Oh sure it seemed to be an average dig site, then the running and screaming started. Her team, thankfully, trusted her implicitly and none of them died but as River was running, she knew this was way beyond something she could handle alone. It'd take too long to get Torchwood there, and they might be unable to stop it so she sent to the team right and went left, the beast following her through the massive maze that was the tomb. What was it with nasty creatures always following her anyhow?


She all but skidded into a sarcophagus and hastily yanked the psychic paper out. He'd come if she used it, he'd promised and she trusted in him still doing so now. She panted for breath, scrawling a note "Need Help. Hideous beast. All might die." She added the kiss and "me" to it and prayed he'd show up and actually be on time. Satisfied it Sent, she knew he'd lock onto her and took off at a sprint, hoping that she wouldn't run into anything else nasty as she navigated in the dark with her torch.

Meanwhile.. Way back in 1993.
Somewhere in Helsinki, Finland

"And then I said, thats not a tractor it's a Cammaran manure truck!" Funny or not the joke triggered an enormous wave of laughter from the intoxicated crowd of musicians with pointy shoes that curled at the end, strange outfits and even stranger hair. The air was thick with smoke and the scent of alcohol and the Professor reeked of it all. But this was just a after-concert get together of the Leningrad Cowboys who'd put on an amazing show earlier that evening. And the Professor was enjoying himself of course.. Maybe a bit too much. He downed the last bit of Finlands finest vodka from his glass before breaking into laughter over a random joke from one of the band members.

Partying with rock musicians was pretty typical for The Professor, Led Zeppelin, Elvis, The Beatles, Pink Floyd, he'd seen, met them all, and even had a few adventures with some of them. Quite honestly? It was nice to take a break from the seriousness of the universe. That was until The Professor thought to check his physic paper slip in his pocket. As he plucked it from his pocket, he called out 'Can you get me a refill?" while he shook his glass at a young woman, who smiled and went to take care of him.

The Professor chuckled randomly as he flipped open the wallet looking case, the fact he had a message surprising him. "What the.." In fact, he did a double take and wondered if maybe he'd drank a little TOO much. Getting a message was one thing, but one sealed with a kiss? The Professors jaw dropped as he tried to piece together this strange puzzle. "Who the hell would send me a message like this?" he thought aloud, the girl bringing him another drink. "Thank you, I needed it!" As he took the glass, he took a quick swig from it as he absently wandered off into the ground, seemingly not paying attention as to where he was going. 'Who could this be?' Yes there were women he'd know in the past.. err or future depending on ones perspective, but none would send him a message like this? ... Assuming it WAS a woman of course. Regardless of who it was.. Apparently there was some foul beat causing death and chaos.. That in itself was always quite amusing!

Soon he'd stumbled his way through the crowd, down a hallway an found himself standing in front of what appeared to be a large cabinet for musical equipment, But in reality? Yes, The TARDIS. Opening the door he staggered through the doorway in his ruffled, alcohol soaked tuxedo with a glass in hand. He undid his tie with one hand as he trotted up the ramp to the console. "Well, Let's see where this takes us." He set his glass down on the console after taking another drink, once again bringing the TARDIS's systems online as he set it to home in on the source of this message. The sound of the time rotor actually made him wince a bit given the fact he'd spend most of the night at a rock & roll concert where his hearing was still a bit sensitive.

But soon the TARDIS was hurdling through the time vortex flying forward in time about 17 years before landing. A quick look at the external monitoring system showed that he'd landed somewhere dark, somewhere.. underground. "Grreat.." he grumbled, his agitation growing as some of the other sensors failed to cooperate. It took him a few moments before he said to hell with it and grabbed a flashlight from the tool bin. With one hand he untied his bow-tie as he staggered towards the door, opening it. The TARDIS had taken on the appearance of a upright standing sarcophagus and when he realized that, well yes he did find it a bit creepy. The area surrounding the TARDIS was pitch black and so the light came in handy as he did a quick scan of the area with it. "Hallloo?" he called out, mimicking a faux French accent that had more to do with Monty Python then the actual French.

This would be quite interesting indeed.

River was sprinting down the corridor, nearly skidding off the stone walls as her speed impacted her manoeuvring. She heard and felt the tardis before she could even see the thing. When had she gotten so turned around anyways? The slobering, grumbling noises from the passage behind her reminded her that she needed to move.


Right. No safer place than the tardis. Once she explained she knew the Doctor would swagger out, muck about, save the day and all would be well again. Onward then! She heard the Doctor calling out playfully, what possessed him to try out accents when he was in Egypt stuck in a tomb was beyond her. He'd always been a bit different, not that she'd have him any other way. She rounded the corner and grabbed the man's arm, trying to haul him into the Tardis.


One problem with that. No blue box and river was a bit lost as to why. She tugged his arm, "come on! No time to stand there admiring the tomb, sweetie. Let's go to the tardis and I'll explain it-" the words died as she finally registered the look of the man in front of her. And the smell. She forgot the monster, voice disapproving and promising lots of pain. "I leave you alone for two months and you regenerate? What's wrong with you? You didn't even have the decency to tell me?"

Fury coupled with hurt was never a good thing and the resulting cuff was sure to leave a mark. Shame she had no books to throw at him, but this was beyond stupid. He'd always been a bit reckless, but she'd liked that face and body. "Damn it, Doctor! What the hell happened while you were away?!"

The sudden appearance from the darkness of River Song caused the Professor to yelp and hop backtowards the TARDIS. Obviously he was a little on edge from his evening of partying! But what followed was even more scary in his opinion! The strange woman literally dragged him into the TARDIS and for a moment acted as if she knew him! of course he'd never seen her in his life! Or.. 'Wait.. do I know this woman? um.. wasn't she the.. no no she was a brunette.. Nope, total blank." not!

The Professor looked at her as if she was crazy while she looked at him, obviously disapproving of the stench of alcohol! But still he was rather speechless, as she went on and on about leaving him alone and regenerations and.. All of it! 'My word I think she's a nutter!' he thought to himself, daring not say it aloud as she looked like a girl who'd clobber you under most circumstances.

But obviously she knew of Time Lords and their regenerations, and the TARDIS.. That was enough to make him wonder.. Maybe she knew him, but he just hadn't met her.. yet? It wasn't like he'd encountered people in a non chronological order before, in fact it could be quite confusing.. The sound of scampering claws on stone soon distracted him and he flashed his light down the corridor and caught the monster in the beam "Crap!" he exclaimed before slamming the TARDIS door shut, just moments before the creature lunged at them.. But impacted the door instead.

But even with that.. She was still prattling on and then.. SMACK! A sharp pain shot through his cheek as her hand back contact. Immediately he covered his cheek, rubbing the soreness as his jaw hung open in disbelif. Then came the real bombshell.. She called him.. The Doctor! "Doctor?! The Doctor?! Do I look like THE Doctor?! I'm not the Doctor Miss! And I think you've gone completely off your rocker! Who are you?!"

Meanwhile on the surface, Hisa was tired of waiting. The security in the area was a joke by Carran standards, so she didn't expect any real problems. Even in broad daylight those toy soldiers were no match for a Carran soldier. Hisa adjusted her goggles, the light was a bit too bright for her eyes. There was no need to check her weapons, they were ready, they always were. Then the small figure made her way down the sandy slope towards this pyramid thing.

And indeed, compared to what she was used to, this whole setup was hardly impressive. Slowly, partly inch by inch, using everything she could find as cover, she edged closer to the entrance. Having been an officer in the Republican Army had its advantages. Part of becoming an officer included extensive training in avoiding enemy troops, knowledge that was now very useful. Still, once she got to the entrance she found it guarded as well. Two soldiers, carrying extremely outdated automatic rifles. Hardly an obstacle.

Carrans were generally smaller than humans, but also faster, more agile and stronger. Two soldiers from a low class military obviously being bored standing guard in the desert were really no challenge for Hisa. The first one didn't even know what hit him and the second would never find out what that shadow knocking him out truly was. Both would most likely be reprimanded for falling asleep or being drunk on duty. Though, out there in the desert, with nothing of interest around, who could really blame them for trying to take it a little too easy?

Getting through the entrance and into the pyramid was not an issue as well. Considering that the humans had just made their first steps into the universe their technology was primitive, at best. There was no way that their security systems could withstand Carran assaults. And thus Hisa snuck into the pyramid. The air was cool, sort of, but it also smelled old and somewhat rotten. She removed her goggles. Luckily there were no bright lights in the area, which would have blinded her. Carran eyes were a lot more sensitive to light than the eyes of humans, which, on the other hand, gave her an advantage in such low light conditions.

Narrow corridors. Apparently this place was rather old. Hisa drew her PPG from behind her back. The slugthrower was not the best choice for such a narrow environment, apart from that it was rather loud. The PPG responded to her changing the settings to low with a soft hum. It would not kill, well, usually it wouldn't, on such a low setting, but it would certainly incapacitate anyone she'd hit with it. And leave some nasty burns. But non-lethal weapons weren't really part of the arsenal of the Republican Army. Non-lethal weapons were considered to be a load of crap, especially in intergalactic warfare.

Her eyes had already adapted to the lack of light in this corridor. Strange, it was somewhat silent. A bit too silent and the air was definitely not the best, but hadn't they said that this was a tomb? But if this was a tomb... where was the typical scent of dead bodies? Hisa had smelled mummies in one of the museums in this country called United States of America, but somehow that scent seemed to be missing from this place. Now this was weird, wasn't it?

Maybe, just maybe, there was more to this place. Well, of course there was more. If this was just a normal tomb... why all the soldiers and security?

River was yanked into a Sarcophagus, which was more than slightly unnerving thank you very much, and was wondering when the hell he'd fixed the chameleon circuit. Oh he was so going to do some explaining, soon as the beastie was handled that is. The resounding thunk against the doors reminded her of the task at hand. No matter what he'd been up to, he still needed to save the day like he always did first.

He was clearly drunk, and that must have brought out the naughty side. Perhaps this regeneration was a bit more playful than the last? She kissed him softly, "Oh sweetie. You know I don't mind the role playing during sex, but this is hardly the place to be doing it."

Then it registered. He thought she was nuts? And was claiming to not know her? That went above and beyond the sex games as he clearly seemed to believe it. Just what had he been drinking and doing while they were away? As if today hadn't spectacularly gone pear shaped, now she had to deal with his weird regeneration.

"No you don't look like my Doctor, but you've obviously been stupid and regenerated." Perhaps he needed to be shocked back to sobriety, the next resulting smack was surely enough to make even the drunkest regen of his sober. "You best stop playing right now pretty boy, because I swear to Hebitinartha I'm going to seriously get upset if you don't." Her eyes narrowed, "unless this is your way of trying to get out of the wedding."

The fact that she actually kissed him was a shocker, it literally stunned him. He didn't know how to react! In fact, he just froze for a moment as all of this new information screamed through his brain. For a moment everything else seemed not to matter, like the angry beast banging against the door. Then the sex play registered.

"Sex?!" The Professors cheeks turned a shade of blush, but there was a rush of unwanted mental images of the Doctor doing unspeakable things that he truly didn't want to imagine! It wasn't that the Professor was a prude, but.. The Doctor? Oh goodness. AND! She hit him! Again! "Ow! Lady! stop hitting me! I only have so many cheeks!" he muttered, now rubbing the other cheek as he took a step back from her. "I'm sorry so sorry but I honestly.. I can't say I've ever met you."

The Professor had dealt with his fair share of blood thirsty aliens, Daleks and other chaos. But there was something particularly scary about an angry woman, especially a redhead. Somehow the thought of him having to flee the console room was already playing out in his mind, like some sort of Benny Hill inspired chase! And because of that he quickly followed up by saying.. "Please don't hit me again?"

Worst of all? He had no idea how to prove to her he wasn't the Doctor, the whole regeneration thing was a negative in this siltation. The realization that the Doctor was engaged was a bit startling as well, as somehow he could never imagine him being the type to settle down.. Renegade and all. The Professor drew in a deep breath, and addressed her in the most sincere and pleading tone of voice he could muster. "Unless I hit my head really hard at some point, I've not met you, we're not engaged, and I'm not the Doctor.."

Compared to the world outside, the light in this tomb was actually rather pleasant. And right now Hisa was taking her time. There was no need to rush through this place. Apart from having all the time in the world it was also clear that rushing through unknown terrain was not really the smartest thing to do. Surely, this place seemed to be rather old, but there could have been traps, either from ages ago, or modern, installed by the military. Not to mention the possibility of patrols and other inconveniences.

And there was still this little question as she slowly made her way through the corridors: why would anyone call such security on an ancient tomb? It didn't make any sense. At least, it wouldn't have made any sense to a human, or to younger species. But Hisa was a Carran and the Carrans had been around for a long time. They had seen other species come and go. Even sometimes old enemies suddenly returning from the dead. She knew there were things out there far beyond the understanding of the younger races. The Carran Kin'sha were the best example. They were normal for all the Carrans, but for humans the thought of having a whole corps of people with meta-sensory abilities -so far the official term- must have been quite frightening.

Hisa stopped and listened. Then she sniffed the air. Something was different now. Something had changed. How long had she been inside now? Several minutes, at a constant pace, that meant she was already rather deep inside this place. And now she was left with a choice. Either turn left or carry on with her way through the corridors. Hisa decided against going on and turned left. It led her into another corridor, apparently someone had had his fun building one corridor after another.

Eventually she came into a chamber. With... wait a second... The air smelled completely different. And something in this chamber, or whatever it was, didn't seem to fit. Something was out of place. Then her sensitive senses picked up a noise. It was not close, at least not yet. It was some sort of shuffling, no, different, but something was definitely moving. Something was alive down here, and it didn't sound like those human toy soldiers from the surface.

River stared, stared long and hard. That was when the console room changes registered with her as well. She heard the beast smacking the outside of the tardis and let the fact it was likely going to try to eat people outside soon just fade away as she studied the man in front of her rubbing his cheek.

Shed pulled out her paper, waving it at him so he could see it. "You came when I called. Like you always do and like you've always promised." She looked at him appraising him, "Why would you do that if you weren't him?" She was more than a bit confused, was he being serious? If so, how did some random man, no Time Lord, get her message?

She felt like hitting something that was for sure, she needed the Doctor to fix this and save them. And if this man wasn't her, she was screwed on so many levels. "Who are you then, if you insist you're not the Doctor?"

The Professor stood there, silently returning her gaze as he considered her reasoning. Truth be told? It wasn't something he understood himself, not at first glance at the least. But at least now he could understand how she'd mistaken him for the Doctor. "I can't explain why I received your message." He admitted quite honestly. The Professor turned from her and trotted up the ramp to the console as his mind went over the chain of events. With his back towards her he stood at the console for a few moments more.

Maybe he received the message because of his relative proximity in time to her? Perhaps, heavens forbid something had happened to the Doctor? The Professor sighed softly, resting both hands on the edge of the console as he spared a glance over his shoulder at the woman. Regardless of how and why, it was obvious she needed some sort of help, as did others. After a few long moments of silence he finally turned to face her. He straightened his tux and stood up straight, and gave her a proper introduction. "I' am a 938 Year old Time Lord called The Professor. You can accept that fact, or after this is all over? We can discuss my identity over drinks."

Clearing his throat he then tried to assure her. "I might not be your Doctor, The Doctor.. But its not my style to abandon those in need, and I've handled more then a few tough scraps. So, can we get to figuring out whats trying to eat its way through the TARDIS and stop playing slapping games? Please?"

River watched the man head to the console, taking it all in. This was indeed not the Tardis she knew and loved. She had no idea how her message had cone astray but that was a problem she'd figure out later when they weren't in danger of being eaten by the unpleasant beast outside. She appraised the man who'd turned to speak to her, he was a lot better looking sobered up.

As he spoke, she grinned, one of those smiles that her students had deemed either madness or a great idea coming to her. "Oh I like you, yes I think you might be able to help." She marches up, offering her hand. "Professor River Song. And I'll take you up on the drink offer after the beast is contained." Or killed. That was probably the likely outcome here. People would come back trying to make some discovery on ancient culture and then it'd be out again rampaging.

She slipped into business mode, still cheerfully smiling away as she explained what she thought the beast was and the mythology behind it. It was a concise speech, to the point, but it concluded with, "And it's already eaten some of the original expedition so we really must stop it before it gets completely out." She looked expectantly at the Professor, "So what's your plan?"

Apparently, whatever was alive down here was making quite the ruckus and that made her curious. Hisa then decided to check out the source of this noise, but not after listening to her gut feeling and setting her PPG to high, leaving her with only ten shots. At that setting it would definitely kill a human, most likely even incinerating him. But whatever was going on down here, it scared the humans up on the surface, leading them to bring in their military, and apparently -from what she could tell so far- the military was rather useless in this situation. So, following basic logic elimination, Hisa concluded that something down here was a threat to the humans on the surface, and apparently dangerous enough to prevent them from coming in here guns blazing. It seemed that the firepower of a normal human grunt, which was already definitely not impressive, was considered to be not enough by the human overlords.

Hisa continued to sneak towards the source of the noise. Strange, it sounded almost as if someone was trying to break down a door. Doors? In an ancient tomb? If the human versions were just bit like the Carran originals -and so far they were pretty much exact copies, at least from what Hisa could piece together from her school days knowledge- then... there were no doors in such a tomb. The El'zan had blocked the corridors and chambers in their pyramids with large stones, but no doors. And from what Hisa had read in the, often insufficient, human language called English, these... what were they called... Egyptians... hadn't used doors either. They too had used stone.

Quite fascinating those parallels.

The Professor accepted her a hand with a smile and gave a slight bow. "A pleasure to make your acquaintance." He assured her while realizing the beast had ceased its efforts in trying to gnaw through the door of the TARDIS. "I guess a faux stone door isn't so appetizing." He quipped, examining the TARDIS's sensor panel. It was then when she asked about his plan. "Well I think we'll...." he trailed off for a long moment, seemingly thinking about it.

Then scratching under his ear he admitted it. "I've got nothing." Not knowing exactly what they were dealing with yet was a bit of a problem, not that he ever really had a plan anyway though. As he worked some of the controls on the console, he spared River Song a glance and quipped."Maybe get an elephant gun and shoot it?" He shrugged his shoulders, the remark only half serious. "First, We need to figure out what we're dealing with.. But the sensors.." And with out warning he slammed his fist against the console. "Have been giving me issues lately.. Second, I need a change of clothes.."

Then he turned on his heel to face her. "But thirdly.. firstly.. erm.. What do you know about the situation? How did you end up being chased by an over sized Gila monster?"


Meanwhile, the creature had picked up a far more interesting scent and was now on the hunt for Hisako. The beast swaggered down the stone corridor, sniffing the air as it moved. The beast was driven by one thing, and one thing only.. And that was the consumption of a beings life force, with each person it consumed it became stronger.. And soon? It'd be strong enough to leave this place and continue to grow larger, and more powerful. Soon it turned down another corridor, the scent becoming stronger and stronger with every step. It knew it would soon be feasting again.