Goodwin,Galen, Finished (UNIT) Application

GOODWIN,GALEN





far away, this ship is taking me far away
FAR AWAY FROM THE MEMORIES OF THE PEOPLE THAT CARE IF I LIVE OR DIE

Full Name: Galen Andrew Goodwin.
Alias(es): The Shadow of the loyal soldier.
Gender: Male.
Age:39.
Species: Human.
Home planet: Earth.
Allegiance: Earth and UNIT.
Occupation: Galen is a private in UNIT.
Any skills: Galen has a steady hand with a Barrett 50.CAL Sniper Rifle.

starlight, i will be chasing the starlight
UNTIL THE END OF MY LIFE, I DON'T KNOW IF IT'S WORTH IT ANYMORE

Face Claim:Harrison Ford (Indiana Jones)
Eye color:Blue.
Hair color/style: Black/Flat.
Height:6 feet ,4 inches
Weight:9 stone.
Distinguishing features: A scar on the lip.


General appearance: Galen Goodwin is mostly seen wearing a UNIT private’s uniform with a Cowboy hat and a backpack, full of different weapons and equipment. Galen is Mainly seen carrying a M9 pistol and a RPD light machine gun. The backpack is filled with a combat Knife and ammo magazines. While Galen has a belt with holsters on it, Galen has hidden holsters in his sleeves and gloves which hold throwing knifes and/or smoke pellets for stealth missions. Galen’s uniform comes with an over jacket fitted with leather to make a bullet-proof vest. Galen’s insignia is worn out from the age of it.

Galen’s face has a scar from every fight he has ever been in. Galen has bags under his eyes from working night shifts Galen takes every week. The skin on Galen’s hands is hard from gripping a gun all day. Standing at a height of 6’4 Galen is at the average height for a human male. When Galen is off duty he can be seen wearing a baseball cap, a pair of slacks, and a v neck shirt. Galen’s coat is the one Galen wears on duty . Galen’s face has a slight beard growing on it that’s barely visible.

hold you in my arms
I JUST WANTED TO HOLD YOU IN MY ARMS

Likes:

- Unit
- fish
- Torchwood
- Stars
- The Universe

Dislikes:

- Fire.
- Sontarans.
- Sharks.
- Snakes
- Acid.

Strengths:

- Swimming.
- Running.
- Fighting.
- Saving People.
- Flying.

Weaknesses:

- Correcting people.
- Daydreaming.
- Falling asleep on duty.
- Scared of dying.
- Scared of hurting people.

Dreams:

- To keep his friends safe.
- To meet The Doctor.
- To see all of Time and Space.

Fears:

- Dying.
- Saving the wrong people.
- Killing a good person.

Personality: People would describe Galen Goodwin as a very secretive person if they didn’t know him well enough. Unlike his associate Leon Carver he would tell people about himself if they are deemed worthy and befriend him. Galen is a nice person to know, he would (if Needed) help out in a fight at times. During a battle Galen is mostly seen using his Hand to Hand combat skills. When Galen gets angry he is mostly seen hit inanimate objects. Galen might sometimes be seen talking to himself when nobody is around.

Galen is a great team-mate mostly seen working with Leon Carver and a few privates from UNIT, and a few field agents from Torchwood. When working on his own Galen is mostly checking out weird sightings that people think are aliens. When off duty Galen is mostly seen wandering around London looking for new hats. Galen has always been addicted to hats you see, you name them he has them (except fezzes). Galen might sometimes be seen with Leon Carver when off duty.

my life, you electrify my life
LET'S CONSPIRE TO RE-IGNITE, ALL THE SOULS THAT WOULD DIE
JUST TO FEEL ALIVE

Birth planet: Earth
Parents: John and Mary Goodwin
Siblings: N/A
Love(s): N/A
Children: N/A

History: From a young age Galen was raised to believe that nothing is impossible and to always expect the unexpected. At a young ae Galen lost sight in his right eye thus the reason he has a sharp shot with a sniper rifle.As a Child Galen would play with his friends in the front Garden of his parent's house. At the age of fifteen Galen was forced to kill a person otherwise they would kill his parents that's when Galen decided to join the Army. Galen would always fight for his safety and the safety of his friends. At the age of seventeen, he enlisted in the British Army and after a year or so worked for UNIT for a while. Because of his experience with dealing with aliens (Mostly Slitheen).Galen used to work with his friends as a rag-tag group until they decided to go their own ways.


After about a month Galen decided to try and enlist into UNIT fully, little did he know he would end up working with Torchwood 24.He is now a private in the Ranks of UNIT. After a year or so he was asked to do a few jobs for Torchwood. That was about 3 months before the day when Galen would met the Person Called Leon Carver. They met in the main HQ of Torchwood 24. Even though both are very secretive they work well with each other.



They would work together if they were both after the same things. If Galen and Leon got into a fight with some Aliens, Galen would sit back and watch Leon got chased for flirting with their enemy. Sometimes it would take three days to complete a mission on his own. About ten days after completing a mission for UNIT, Galen was told to check out weird activity at a local football pitch, that was when Galen met Leon Carver again. Every mission that needed Galen to check out weird technology, Galen would have to end up working with Leon and some Torchwood field agents.


A week after the football mission Galen was called into UNIT in the middle of the night. Galen was told that they found a weird piece of alien technology and Torchwood wanted it for themselves, that was the night it was a race against time to get the unknown piece of tech. When Galen got there Leon was there on his own. Galen decided to try get to the tech before him, in the end UNIT nor Torchwood got the tech a bunch of Aliens did. After a month or so Galen got back to normal when working with UNIT. Galen found out that he would be doing jobs with Leon when working with Torchwood Command. Galen Decided that he may as well try and get to know Leon. Till this day Galen has been trying to get to know Leon. Galen is still failing at his tries to get to know Leon.

but I'll never let you go
IF YOU PROMISE NOT TO FADE AWAY, NEVER FADE AWAY

Weapon(s):A pistol, a RPD, and a Barrett 50.CAL Sniper Rifle
Important Tech: Smoke Pellets,hidden knifes and his backpack
Other items: A motorbike, Phone and a few books.

out hopes and expectations
BLACK HOLES AND REVELATIONS

Sample RP: "Hello" he said to the new soldiers that joined UNIT today. "My Name is Private Galen Goodwin. You will be getting to know me greatly over the next few weeks". Galen said as he walked in front of all of them. Galen began to walk off, before another soldier came up to him and explained that Galen was needed to show them where they where bunking for the next year. Galen turned around and stop at the top of the line, which happened to be a nineteen year old recruit. “Would everyone please follow me so I can show you what rooms you will be sleeping in and with who”.

After an hour or so, Galen was about to walk off when a really young recruit came up to him. "You okay kid?" Galen wondered aloud before the recruit asked what UNIT was like. "Well I can't explain it kid just think of us like a band of brothers protecting our country and our planet". Galen said to the private before walking away. Galen turned back and said. " Maybe you'll become a private like me and the others". Galen saw a smile form on the private's face and Galen ended up smiling while he thought about how his assignment went.

hold you in my arms, i just wanted to hold
YOU IN MY ARMS. I JUST WANTED TO HOLD...

Alias Stark.
Member Title: The Shadow of the Loyal Soldier.
Contact Information: PM,Dylanomeara3@gmail.com
The Secret Code: ADMIN EDIT
Anything else: Thanks to Leon Carver and Saphira for helping me with this.

application template made by saphira.
lyrics: "starlight" by muse.

Hi there! First of all, I want to say welcome to the site! Secondly, I must apologize - this message will probably end up being quite long. I promise, I'm not trying to be rude or condescending, but there are several issues with your profile.

While we do strive to be a community that accepts all levels of roleplayers, we do ask that new members try to match the general skill of the site. We also ask that members please be creative and try not to just make general hodgepodges of things from the show. Overall, I'd like to see a more in-depth character with more... specificity. Please take a look at the other character profiles that have been accepted in the past - especially originals.

To help you get started, here is a more specific list of the things with which I am finding issues:

• Please include the requested profile picture where specified. (Don't put a large picture that stretches the page.)
• This is on a similar note - and sort of nitpicky - but your icon is a picture of Starkiller from Star Wars rather than your character (whose name is incidentally Galen). Please use a picture of a real person; one of your character would be nice.
  
• Skills - Wearing camouflage to blend in isn't a skill. If you really want to include the fact that he wears such clothing, just include it under his Appearance or Other Items.
  
• Appearance - On the template, I do ask for two paragraphs, I believe. (A paragraph is generally accepted as five full sentences.) Also, please use complete sentences, and try to put a space in between the end punctuation and the next sentence.
• To help you flesh it out a little, you could describe his physique or the look of his face or the like.
  
• Dislikes/Dreams - As an ordinary twenty-first century human, it is extremely unlikely that Galen would have even heard of Time Lords, let alone Gallifrey. (There's more on this later with your history.)
  
• Personality - Despite your second 'paragraph' being short, the whole personality fills rather slight. More importantly, you make him out to be like a fantastic person with no flaws (except when he gets 'angry,' where he only uses the Doctor's catchphrase?). Humans are fantastic, creative, adventurous, yet terribly flawed individuals - it's what makes them human. If your character has no flaws, they are unbelievable and it gives you little room to develop them in the roleplay. I'd like to see a much more thought-out character with both good and bad parts, rather than one that is brave, selfless, nice, perfect, etc.
• Again, please watch your spelling and grammar usage; things like punctuation, spaces, and the like could definitely be checked.
  
• History - This is the other section with which I also find a lot of issues. The main one is something I mentioned earlier: you seemed to have taken a lot of things from the show and put them all together in a general... hodgepodge. Unfortunately, most of this does not make sense.
• at the age of 17 he enlisted in the British army and done a few stray jobs for torchwood and UNIT. Because of his experiance with dealing with aliens.He used to work with his friends as a rag tag group until we decided to go our own ways.
  -- This is very unexplained. What experience did he have with aliens at all? Most people don't just do a few "stray jobs" for both UNIT and Torchwood, or either, for that matter. I would think that the Doctor and possibly a few of his former companions could be the only ones that would have such a possibility, and such jobs would be few and far between. I think the most believable possibility - if you really want to head in such a direction - would be him going into the British army, having some sort of alien encounter, and then possibly gaining some job opportunity from either Torchwood 24 (as a field agent) or UNIT (as a private).
• After a while he quit The Army and decided to do some rag tag jobs for UNIT and Torchwood. he is now (Hopefuly) going to apply a so he won't just be doing rag tag jobs for them any more and be enlisted in Torchwood 23 or UNIT forever.
  -- This somewhat contradicts (or is incorrectly worded) what you said earlier. I'm assuming he either did his stray jobs while working for the Army still and then quit to continue doing the stray jobs, or he didn't do any jobs while he was in the Army and started said jobs after he quit? Again, my suggestion in the previous bullet would honestly work better, but if you can find a better way to work it out, go for it. And by the way, it's Torchwood 24.
• A year ago he found a disabled Vortex Manipulator and decided to try hotwire it so he could travel around the universe.
  -- I'm sure it's safe to say that most civilians haven't just happened across a Vortex Manipulator. We pretty much don't allow anyone besides Time Agents to have such an item, or we'd have too many people around the site with a random ability to travel in time and space - which is pretty unlikely. We do have one character that inherited such an item from her Time Agent father, but still, we really don't want people just happening across such an item.
• After he got it to Work he ended up on Gallifrey.
  -- This is definitely going to be a 'no.' In the old series, humans weren't allowed on the planet, and on the site's new version of Gallifrey - which was an extremely recent development, so it wouldn't have been around long - the only humans that have been on Gallifrey have been specifically brought there for a purpose by the Lady President. Besides, I'm pretty sure the Time Lords would have figured out a way to protect their planet from random happenstances such as this. (Note: the Time War include a time lock, that allows no one in or out.)
• In general, the rest of it just goes along with the whole vortex manipulator sort of thing. If you want him to end up leaving Earth, I'm afraid he'll have to find another way - or come up with a more creative way of travelling via Vortex Manipulator.
• Once again, the spelling and grammar really needs checking. There are some pretty long run-on sentences in there. There are also some uses of first-person (rather than third-person) mixed in.
  
• Weapons - Where did he get a blaster? He's a twenty-first century human, after all.
  
• RP Sample - I'm sounding like a broken record here, but I'm just trying to get this across. There are a large amount of spelling issues, so please try to use a Word Processor or online spell-check (Mozilla Firefox includes a browser-based spell-check that works like a charm). Grammar is also an issue, including punctuation, capitalization, spacing, and the like. Words are only capitalized if they are at the beginning of a sentence, at the beginning of a quotation, or a proper noun. There are also a lot of conjugation issues throughout the application in general, such as "[H]e enlisted in the British army and done a few stray jobs. " rather than "...and did a few stray jobs."

I'm really sorry if this post is overwhelming, but there is a certain level of expectation that I must keep of all incoming members. Again, I'm not trying to be rude, and I'm not just pushing you away. However, there are a lot of very involved problems with your profile at the moment, and it will take a lot of work. If you're willing to work with me, then I'll try to help you fix things.

Thanks for the advice about the spell check,I only started using firefox, and I don't mind how long the message is once it helps.

I'll try to get a closer look at this after work tomorrow. Just wanted to say that it's looking a lot better than it did before. Nice improvement. There are still some grammar issues throughout, so another look over things like that would be nice, in addition to capitalization of the beginning of sentences and whatnot. There are a few other things, but I'll get back to you more on that in a bit.

By the way, I'm assuming you worked a lot with Leon on this, but do you have permission to have your character so involved with him as you state in your history?

Yeah I have permission from Leon.

As I said in the updates, I'm sorry for taking a while to finish checking profiles and taking care of things around here.

Going on. Your profile has drastically improved. I appreciate the care you took to fix things, and I hope that you try to keep at least this level for your writing in the future - and continue to improve. Please please watch your grammar and spelling in the future while roleplaying!

The only other thing - nothing to change, just make a note to yourself - is to make sure he's not working with two different groups for sure. You did say he worked for UNIT, so I'm assuming he's only employed by them and not Torchwood 24. Just pay attention to that.

Anyway, I am going to accept you. Welcome to the site, and have fun roleplaying!

ACCEPTED.