Breakfast Entertainment

[Cojo]

Gentelmen,
Now I have joined the nine to five set I find that to my disgust that I am becoming a creature of habit.
05:30 hrs I wake up and complete ones ablutions nothing odd there you say, I like to get up at this time as it allows me plenty time to have a decent breakfast.

During this period of nutrient replenishment and hydration (A hearty helping of devilled kidneys, eggs and kedgeree)
I have become accustomed to watching the early morning news. (Scottish news updates with Catriona Shearer and weather with Gail McGrane make for a great (if not slightly randy) start to the day).
While yet another dull exposé of MP’s expenses was played out I began to search through some of the hundreds of channels I appear to have. I came across a programme called “Cribs” on the MTV channel (whatever that is)
Where a series of people whom I am reliably informed are called celebrities open up there domiciles for the viewing of the general public
(a bit like when her majesty leaves Buckingham Palace open to the plebes) .
It would appear that these “Celebrities” although well moneyed have about as much class and taste as the Americans. Not a decent cellar or writing desk to be seen anywhere.
Any way I waffle on.
The reason for this rant lies in the next channel I happened to flick to, a programme where allot of fine looking lassies strut about in their under thingy’s signing etc.
In the corner of the screen was a chap interpretating what they were shouting about into sign language.
This is possible the funniest thing I have seen in quite some time.

Gentleman, when you have the opportunity I would suggest 5 min of the moral boosting “Signed By Box”

Aye
(The well breakfasted) Mr Grant

[Mr. Rick Goose Cook]

I've seen this. I too found it hilarious, and watched it probably far longer than I should have. Your breakfast time is my evening (body clock rather than conventional timing), and as such I may have been slightly intoxicated. The contorted faces they pull as if conveying the emotion as well as the words is entertainment enough.

[Mr Dean]

I'd do Gail McGrane until a court order told me to stop. That'll probably be enough.

[Lesmond]

My poor grasp on self-discipline means that all of this televisual horseplay passes me by.
My morning ritual generally involves getting out of bed five minutes after I have to leave the house, having the swiftest of showers, then attempting to both nourish and clothe myself simultaneously.
It's a shame, really, because I do enjoy the rare occasions when I'm up with the birds and have a good hour or more to waste before I leave the house. Unfortunately, the sound of my alarm seems to induce in me the notion that my bed is more appealing than a beautiful, pert breast filled with beer.