Mutant Terrorist Announces his Return by killing 67
JULY 9TH – Rumors of Magneto’s return have become increasingly frequent over the past month, but today on the Van Wyck Expressway, it became a reality. At approximately 8:17 this morning, a massive pile-up resulted in the deaths of 67 people and many more injured or missing. “My wife and I were talking about the movie we saw last night and next thing ya know, the truck in front of us is at a dead stop all messed up and stuff. I ran off the road and almost hit three people in the grass. I didn’t stick around, but I swear I saw some [cars] being tossed off the road. I didn’t know what to think,” said William Stephan, 42. Several eye witnesses claimed seeing several people step off the overpass they had been standing on and slowly descend to the road below just as the wreck happened. Lafaunda Johnson, a 23 year old chemistry major, stated, “My mom and I saw it happen. It was like all these cars just hit some kind of invisible wall and everything behind it just piled up. It all happened and those people were just standing there in front of it.”
Erik Lehnsherr, or Magneto as he is more commonly known, was a well-respected professor of Chemistry and Anthropology at Oxford and an avid supporter of mutant’s rights, speaking out against mutant oppression alongside such people as Charles Xavier and Henry McCoy. Due to a protest in London in 1988 which took a turn for the worst, killing over 200 people, Lehnsherr soon went into hiding and resurfaced some years later as Magneto. His fame is worldwide as the charismatic leader of a group of mutant terrorists called the Brotherhood of Mutants. However several months ago, rumors of Magneto’s death surfaced and were later assumed true when he never reappeared. “It was that helmet guy… that Magnet guy… from a year ago,” said one distraught father mourning the death of his daughter in the attack. “[I] didn’t see his face or anything, but I recognized that helmet from the TV.”
One K-9 officer from the narcotics unite of the NYPD recounted the events as he saw them. “All I could hear over the radio was something about a wreck and then the next thing I know, it’s all chaos and I think I blacked out for a minute. I came to and found I was upside down in my patrol car; my dog was in the back going crazy. I climbed out of my car and was trying to get my dog out when I saw this brown truck fly right over my head, and there he was. Yep… it was Magneto. They were saying something about kids and taking them somewhere. Then some of them started fighting each other, shooting lazers and throwing cars around. That’s about all I saw. Pulled out my stick, busted the window, got my dog out and took off… I’m a keeper of the peace, but there’s nothing I or any other law officer can do when something like that happens. I mean... there was a [expletive deleted] dinosaur guy jumping around on cars. I thought that’s why we had the Sentinels.”
Speaking of Sentinels, moments after the acclaimed fight broke out between the mutants in the middle of the wreck; three appeared in an attempt to arrest and detain them. However, upon arrival, they were quickly dismantled by Magneto. Attempts to contact those in charge of the Sentinel program have been ignored, so it is unknown whether those in charge had anticipated dealing with him.
Rescue and cleanup of the wreckage was postponed until the police could confirm it was safe for workers. The Expressway was quarantined for nearly two miles and detours established for a little over a week as cars were removed and torn pavement repaired. During the relief, three infants and two children were found among their survivors, their parents either dead or missing.
Reverend Reginald Sherman, a pastor of a Methodist church and a known mutant had this to say: “I want everyone to know that we of the mutant community are saddened by the loss of so many, and I ask that the human population please bear in mind that this is the act of one individual and not the mutants as a whole.”
Humans aren’t the only ones that suffered loss in this tragedy. Selene Taylor, 37, lost her mutant daughter to the collision, stating that Magneto is a monster and the sooner he is “put down” the better for everyone.
Many, however, do not share Mrs. Taylor’s view that Magneto is solely to blame for the carnage. “Had these Sentinels been given license to kill these abominations, we would have scared them into hiding months ago instead of losing tons of our own people to these maniacs who can do things they shouldn’t be able to do. Three mutants died in this thing? How the hell does that compare to over 60? Two of them were my best friends,” said another crash survivor who requested to remain anonymous.
There are still three people unaccounted for and one of the five surviving children found in the wreckage have yet to be claimed. If you feel you might know someone who could assist police in locating the child’s family or the missing people, please contact officer Slack on his direct line at 555-0789 ext 751