Title: Spaerman, Marcus
Pack - May 23, 2011 03:41 AM (GMT)
Betsy Braddock - May 24, 2011 02:31 AM (GMT)
Hey Nick, welcome to the site.
A couple of things:
1.Iím a little at a loss to the necessity for the tentacle aspect of his powers. What you have going on with the exoskeleton is a very useful defensive power that with the strength, has some offensive capabilities too.
Personally I would rather you remove the tentacles and the subsequent neurotoxin abilities that come with it. Or, if the tentacles are the aspect of the power that you really like, you can remove the armour and keep the tentacles.
2. While the personality is fine, be careful that you donít make him too closed off, or appear to be as it might affect your game play with others.
3. Your Apocalypse section does not seem to reflect any of the events that were felt around the entire world. If the attack on the family was because of post-Apocalypse hysteria thatís fine, but I want that clarified and to see some more about how Marcus was affected by the events of Apocalypse himself.
Thatís all for now, if you need any help please feel free to ask a member of staff and just post in here to let me know youíre done.
Pack - May 24, 2011 03:31 AM (GMT)
Ok I'll fix the history by re-looking over the events to make it more relevant.
As for the tentacles I added them for better mobility, Handling of dangerous items, and repair of the armor. Is there something you can suggest that I can add in to replace them in order to compensate for the loss?
Perhaps a wall climbing a claws or pads like spiderman or something for the mobility?
As for the personality I could rework it so he's more approachable
Betsy Braddock - May 24, 2011 12:26 PM (GMT)
If you could make the changes that would be great, just let me know when you're done.
As for the powers, Iím asking you to change them as abilities have to be related to each other in order to work fairly. I kind of see where youíre going with it but itís not really working. If you want to play a character with enhanced mobility I suggest one that does not have a tough exoskeleton. There has to be a balance Iím afraid. If you want to talk about this you can PM/AIM me or any other member of staff and weíll help you out.
Pack - May 25, 2011 04:51 AM (GMT)
made the changes you requested I hope these are acceptable :)
Havok - May 25, 2011 06:39 AM (GMT)
I'll give you a stamp. If Betsy is satisfied with your changes, you're good to go
Pack - May 25, 2011 06:58 AM (GMT)
Betsy Braddock - May 25, 2011 02:14 PM (GMT)
That's much better, thank you for making the changes.
One tiny, non crictical note, but unless there's another reason for it, you might want to change his nickname from Squid ;)