Hello Lexus, thank you for your interest here at XMR.
Introductions aside, this application is not acceptable as is. First and foremost, it is incomplete, with no Roleplay Sample. Whether this is a simple mistake or a work in progress, this needs completed asap, as we do not allow Work-In-Progress apps.
Having said that, if this is the finished app sans sample, you’ve a lot of things that need fixing. First, Elle Fanning is 13, she in no way is a convincing 21 year old. Please find a PB closer to the age of the character, or one who looks suitably so. Also, 100 lbs at Five and a Half Feet is dangerously thin, I don’t know if that was what you were going for but it’s bordering on sickly and I suggest you feed her a hamburger or three.
Second, Pyrokinesis and Reality Warping (which your ‘pantomiming’ falls under) are banned from OC applicants for the moment. We also like powersets to make relative sense and flow together, which these all do not. I am alright with the illusions as long as it has firm limits and definitions of range/application/potency, so your initial description of the power will need expanded and fleshed out, along with the weaknesses that apply to it.
The History is entirely too sparse, it needs fleshed out and redone. I’m also nervous about you putting her in Baltimore. Most of this games action stems from groups based in and around New York City, and even casual, non-plot rp opportunities are scarce for members of the Others factions, which is notoriously difficult to begin with without the added handicap of being isolated from the game world.
My suggestion is to start over again, rework the character a more realistically, and post here when your application is finished (in full, including the RP Sample). If you need any help, do not hesitate to contact myself or another member of staff via Cbox, PM, or AIM.
Denied on account of two Q's and a tilde?
