I won't hesitate no more, no more., this is our fate, i'm yours.

[Derek Shepherd]

Derek had a choice to make. He had divorce papers and was given a choice to make except he had no idea how he was going to choose. There seemed to be two options. Stay with his wife and give the failing marriage another go or leave her for the girlfriend who for the last couple of weeks he had been extremely happy with. It was a decision he didn't know how to make. He was trying to find answers everywhere, weigh up the pros and cons of both relationships to see if that helped but it didn't. He still found himself in love with Addison even if he wished so badly that he wasn't. She had hurt him, she had broken everything that they were and yet he was still besotted with her, a feeling he didn't have with Meredith, not even now.

Derek sat in the locker room, stuck. He was stuck because he couldn't decide and he knew he had to soon so he could stop stringing both women a long and set one of them free. The question was which one? Which one was he to set free because he had no idea. On one hand he was married to Addison for 11 years before she cheated and he was incredibly indifferent at the time. If anything he forced her into Mark's arms, it was his own faught. With Meredith he had been happy, happy until Addison showed up saying he had a Russell Crowe look about him. Why did she have to show up? Why did she have to ruin what he had going on for himself in Seattle? He wasn't sure at all.

Derek gazed around the locker room before he stood up and made his way towards his locker. Pulling open his locker he found an old picture of himself and Addison buried in the back of his wallet and pulled it out. Unfolding it he looked down at it, sighing he then put it away, shut his locker door and picked up the divorce papers from the bench he was previously sitting on. Taking his bag out of his locker he put it around himself before setting off for the door. Once out of the door he got into the nearest elevator and waited in the lobby for her, for his wife to tell her his decision. Things were confusing, confusing for him but he made a decision. One he didn't know he would like to live with but one he would later find out about. Keeping his eye on the nearest elevator he waited for her, knowing her shift ended soon.

[Addison Montgomery]

Addison watched as the numbers above the doors flashed as the elevator made its descent down to the main floor. She was accompanied by several hospital employees who just couldn't stop looking over at her. By now, she was getting used to the stares that everyone Seattle Grace gave her. Who wouldn't be intrigued by the charming head of neurology's wife who swooped down to ruin his life in Seattle with his young, blonde intern. It was like a soap opera right there in their own hospital. She couldn't blame them, she supposed, for being nosy. She had brought this upon herself, afterall; not just for coming here, but for everything that she'd done for the past two months.

The fateful night that started it all was still vivid in her mind; the sound of the rain outside their Brownstone, the image of the door slamming in her face, the feeling of helplessness as Derek walked out the door without a single thought. Addison still couldn't believe that they had let things go that far. They were Addison and Derek. Those kinds of things didn't happen to them, only to people that they knew. However, she couldn't deny that it was certainly coming to them. Both herself and Derek had let all of their problems pass without dealing with it, and that was ultimately their downfall.

Now, she didn't know what was going to happen. She'd put the ball in his court, letting him decide the fate of their marriage. Addison had told Meredith that she didn't want to be with a man that didn't want her, but that wasn't going to stop her from wishing that he would. She'd made a mistake, one that she couldn't take back, but there was nothing that she regretted more than sleeping with Mark. She hoped that Derek would understand that and give her another chance. But she didn't know what had gone on in Seattle, how serious he had gotten with Meredith Grey. Was their eleven year marriage enough for Derek to still want her?

Letting out a sigh, the elevator doors opened and she stepped out. It'd been a long day, and losing Miranda Bailey's patient had only added to the weight of the world that she seemed to be carrying. It also meant that she had completely fulfilled her duties here in Seattle as a surgeon, meaning there was nothing that was keeping her here; nothing except for Derek. Just as her mind wandered to the thought of Derek handing her the signed divorce papers, she spotted him sitting in the lobby. Their eyes met and Addison took in a deep breath. This could very well be it for them; the end that she would never be able to accept.

[Derek Shepherd]

Derek sat in the chair, he had gotten up and fetched two cups of coffee from the stand a couple of feet away before making his way back there. With the divorce papers slotted into his briefcase and sticking out at the top he kept his eyes on the elevator, waiting for her to finish her shift. When the doors opened his eyed widened when he noticed her red hair. Derek's eyes met Addison's before he stood up holding the two coffee's in his hands. Beginning to make his way towards her he stopped infront of her. "Coffee?" He asked her as he held it out to her. He was neither smiling nor looking sad right now.

[Addison Montgomery]

Addison eyed him warily before taking the cup of coffee from him. It was a little uncharacteristic of Derek--Seattle Derek at the very least--to be so civil. When she'd arrived in Seattle, he'd done and said everything he could to get rid of her without a hint of remorse. Now he was giving her coffee. Derek wasn't professing his love or anything like that, not that she was expecting anything of the like anytime soon either. But she hadn't been expecting coffee. "Thanks," she said, taking a sip from it.

Soon, she realized that Derek must have been waiting for her. Otherwise, he wouldn't have been sitting here with two cups of coffee. If he'd intended it for someone else, he definitely wouldn't have given it to her. This meant that he'd probably come to a decision about their current situation. From the expression on his face, it was unapparent what that decision could be. Over the years Addison had gotten fairly good at reading her husband, but this wasn't one of the times that she could. He just seemed so distant, so indifferent. That's how it'd been for a long time now.

"So have you signed those divorce papers yet?" Addison wondered in a voice devoid of emotion much similar to the way Derek looked right now. She could never let him see how vulnerable or desperate she was. She wanted him to stay with her (if he were to choose so) because he wanted to and not because he pitied her or their failed marriage.

[Derek Shepherd]

Derek handed the coffee to Addison and shifted on his feet as he thought about what he was going to say next. He didn't want to do this here, to tell her his answer here he wanted them to have some privacy. Everyone was already looking at them and gossiping about them they didn't need anymore of it. Derek wasn't quite sure how he was going to explain himself anyway, how he was going to tell her the decision he had made, the decision he had come to because it was hard.

When she spoke Derek looked down at his briefcase seeing the divorce papers slightly sticking out. "I don't want to talk about this here." Derek told her as he took a sip of his coffee. He turned and slowly began to walk towards the glass doors to exit the hospital, hoping she understood he wanted her to follow him so they could be alone to talk.

[Addison Montgomery]

As much as Addison understood his sentiment, she was growing impatient. She just wanted to get it over with so she could move on one wa or another. With the way he was acting, she could only expect the worst, but there was still that tiny it of hope inside her that Addison and Derek could work through this. She was just setting herself up for a lot of pain, really, but she couldn't give up on everything that they'd built over the years. Maybe Derek could do that. He'd already walked away once, there wasn't much stopping him from doing it again.

Sighing, Addison followed him toward the glass doors, catching up quickly despite the 5 inch heels she was wearing. She had no idea where they were going. It wasn't like he'd invited her into his home during the past week. He barely wanted to look at her, let alone go with her anywhere. "Where are we going, Derek?" she asked, looking over at him expectantly. It would seem that he was calling a lot of the shots right now. She knew that it had to be that way. After what she'd done, the guilt didn't allow her much ground to stand on.

[Derek Shepherd]

Derek kept walking towards the glass doors so they could leave the hospital. He would consider doing this anywhere away from the hospital building he just hadn't decided where yet. He knew they needed to do this soon, he had to tell her it wasn't fair to keep her wondering but then part of him wanted to keep it drawn out for as long as possible because of the way she had made him feel. She hurt him, she broke his heart so why wasn't he allowed to cause her a little pain too?

Walking out the doors and into the carpark he turned to look at her when she spoke. "I don't know." Derek told her honestly as he pulled his car keys out of his jacket pocket. Once they got to his car he stopped dead beside the drivers door and turned to look at her. Pulling the divorce papers out of his brief case he held them out to her as he shook his head. "I can't pretend that what you did didn't hurt me, it is the single most cruelest thing any human being as ever done to me," Derek explained as he looked at her, his look empty of emotion. "But you are my wife, for better or for worse." Derek continued as he looked away from her for a moment to take a deep breath before he turned back to look into her eyes.

[Addison Montgomery]

To say that Addison was shocked was a major understatement. She'd been expecting Derek to say goodbye and eliminate her from his life forever. The last thing she'd thought was going to happen was Derek saying that he was giving the remains of their marriage a chance. It took her a moment to comprehend what was going on, and she reached out to take the divorce papers from him, the bottom lines missing the signatures that would sign the last third of their lives away. She stared at them for a moment before looking up to Derek, meeting his gaze.

His expression was still unreadable. She didn't know what had caused this sudden change of heart, for earlier that day, Derek was determined to sign the papers immediately so that he could ride off into the sunset with Meredith. But now, here he was giving them a chance to make this right.

Addison was too proud to show him the tears that threatened to fall, even if they were tears of joy. Here was the opportunity to right the wrongs that she'd committed, and she wasn't going to let it slip away. The corner of her mouth lifted in what could barely be deemed a smile and she nodded. "I--Thank you, Derek," Addison said, keeping their eye contact, "We'll do what it takes to get through this." She didn't know what else to say or what else to do. Neither of them were comfortable enough to embrace each other, but it sucked--for lack of a better word--to feel like they were unable to show any kind of affection because it might be too awkward. "So what do you want to do now?"

[Derek Shepherd]

Derek looked back at Addison as he heard her thank him. Nodding softly he wasn't quite sure what to do or say next. This moment was supposed to be one filled with joy and the fact that they wouldn't even embrace one another just stole that feeling away. He may have agreed to work on their marriage but that didn't mean it would be easy or something he ever thought they would need to do. When she spoke Derek thought about her question for a moment. He wasn't quite sure, they were married, she was his wife but he didn't know whether or not he should take her back to his trailer. He also knew that her question didn't mean just right now, it meant for them, for their marriage, for the future. "Anything that will get us back to where we were before," Derek told her as he turned around and walked to the back door, opening up the door he slung his briefcase inside and then shut the door again. "Before the adultery." Derek told her and he meant on both parties. She may have been the first one to commit it but he had here, they weren't officially over, he had started a relationship with Meredith when he was still married to Meredith, that was adultery. "Get in the car, I'll show you where I've been staying." Derek told her as he opened up the drivers side and got into the car, shutting the door behind himself and putting the keys in the ignition.

[Addison Montgomery]

Addison followed suit and went around to the passenger side, getting into the car and buckling her seatbelt as she let his words settle in her mind. He wanted to get things back to the way they were before, before all of their respective affairs. She understood the sentiment to an extent, but she couldn't be completely on board. So much of what had gone on even before falling into bed with Mark was wrong with their marriage. Her adultery was only the final straw that broke the proverbial camel's back; it hadn't been the sole reason for the rift in their marriage, and she wasn't sure that Derek quite understood that.

"I don't want us to get back to where we used to be, Derek," she admitted after he'd pulled out of the parking stall, "I want us to be happy, but back where we were merely before...before Mark isn't going to get us to where we need to be." Addison glanced back and forth between the road and Derek, knowing that every conversation that they would have between now and when (or if) they got back to the happy couple that they once were would be subjected to the possibility of endless quarrels and arguments. A lot of skeletons were going to be dug up in the process of rebuilding their marriage. She hoped that the two of them were up to the task.

[Derek Shepherd]

Derek put on his belt and waited until Addison did the same before he pulled out of the parking lot and began to set off towards his land. Derek kept his eyes on the road, he could vaguely hear Addison speaking but he couldn't quite process what she was saying when he was trying to concentrate so hard so they wouldn't get themselves into an accident. "I know that things hadn't been right between us for months before..." Derek went to say Mark or to mention the adultery but he couldn't, he just couldn't say his name or that word that explained what had happened. "But I don't know how to get back to the happy times, to before that. I don't even know how we got here." Derek admitted as he stole a glance at her before looking back at the road again. "There was a time when I thought I made you happy, when I thought I was enough for you, now that time seems so distant, I was so nieve." Derek sighed as he shook his hand, gripping onto the steering wheel as he had a flash back to that night, his clothes on the stairs, his naked body over his wifes, touching her in places that only he was allowed to touch her. Derek tried to shake his head free of those images but it was easier said than done. "Argh." Derek groaned as he blinked for a moment as he faught with his brain to try to forget those images because they were killing him.

[Addison Montgomery]

"But you are enough for me," Addison countered with complete knowledge that it was going to take a lot more than that statement to convince him of it. With what she'd done, there was probably so much doubt that filled his mind. She'd committed the greatest sin she could ever achieve to her husband in sleeping with his best friend. She gave Mark her body, and even though he could never own her heart, that wasn't what Derek saw when he looked back on that night. What Derek saw was his supposed faithful wife sleeping with his best friend, the one man he'd known since he could remember and the one person he trusted most other than herself.

She wrung her hands together before twirling her wedding rings around her finger, "If you weren't enough for me, I wouldn't be sitting here right now, and we wouldn't even be thinking about repairing our marriage. I told you, Derek, Mark was a mistake, a horrible mistake that I would do anything to take back. It was never because you weren't enough. It's--It's a lot more complicated than that."

Although Derek had claimed that the hospital wasn't a suitable place to talk about what was going to happen and what had happened in their marriage, Addison wasn't about to deem the car ride to where he was living the right place either. So, she left it at that and didn't want to elaborate any further. Letting out a sigh, she turned her gaze to everything outside the car, the image of the cityscape beginning to fade as they entered a more wooded area.

[Derek Shepherd]

Derek heard Addison's words but simply shook his head, he can't be, he couldn't have been enough for her not now, not ever. She cheated, she slept with his best friend and even though he had vowed to give their marriage another chance it wasn't sure whether he could ever forgive her for that. She had slept with the only guy he could ever call his best friend, he didn't have a father so from a young age himself and Mark had been very close, they had a strong bond because of Derek's situation and the fact that Mark's parents could care less about him. Either way by sleeping with his best friend she had lost him the one person that he thought he could always count on through thick and thin, the one person he had always had beside him when he needed someone. Someone to talk about guy stuff because he had four sisters and a Mother that would embarass him if he brought up anything remotely female or relationship linked.

Derek shook his mind free of thoughts of him and Mark, he had lost his best friend and he was slowly losing himself with that. Derek continued to drive through the wooded area and until finally they pulled up outside a silver trailer. "We're here." He informed Addison as he parked the car. Derek got out, fetched his things from the back seat and headed towards the door of the trailer. Opening up the trailer he walked inside, placed his things down and then came back out. Walking back down towards the car he waited for Addison. "This land is all mine. I have no idea what I'm going to do with it, or if I even want it anymore, but it's mine." Derek told her, looking around at the land as he spoke before he turned to look at her.

[Addison Montgomery]

Addison watched as the number of trees seemed to grow and they went deeper and deeper in what could only be deemed the wilderness. There was a fleeting thought of whether Derek was really taking her to where he lived or if he was just taking her into the forest where he could dump her body. That theory, of course, didn't hold much ground, but it could very well have been a possibility. The paved road soon turned into a dirt one, and they finally pulled to a stop at a clearing. She saw the trailer, basically the only sign of human inhabitants for miles, and she couldn't believe that this was where Derek had been living.

He was out in the middle of no where. Derek Christopher Shepherd, who loved Manhattan and all that it had to offer, was living in a trailer surrounded by trees and probably all sorts of animals in a forest. It was all just a little uncanny and quite a bit to take in, considering their lives before all of this mess.

Stepping out of the car, she turned to see all of it and try to wrap her mind around the fact this really is where Derek was living. "This, all of this, is so unlike you," Addison said after he'd come back out from into the trailer and put down his stuff, "You live in the middle of a forest inside a trailer." Her tone was incredulous, barely being able to believe the words that were coming out of her mouth. She looked around with her eyes wide, open as if she were afraid some wild animal might jump out at her. She didn't know what to say, she was practically speechless. She wasn't sure what she'd expected, maybe a small one bedroom apartment or a house, but a trailer? If they were going to work things out, that's something that has got to go.

[Derek Shepherd]

Derek wasn't Derek anymore, he knew that. He wasn't the same person as he was in New York, he couldn't be. He was scared that what he was in New York wasn't enough. The old Derek wasn't enough for her she felt she needed someone else, she needed him, Derek wasn't enough for her. He was too scared to be who he used to be, he couldn't be that guy anymore, not when that guy wasn't enough for his wife, for the woman he devoted his life to, his heart to.

Derek heard Addison speak and scoffed. She had no idea, she had no idea what she had made him feel that night, she was there, naked with him and here she was judging him because of the trailer. Even if she wouldn't say it outloud he knew what she thought of it but he didn't care, it was where he lived now, the only thing he could really call his own. He couldn't call her his own anymore, not after someone else had touched her, and him none the less. "Yeah, well, people change." Derek said bluntly as he looked away from her, taking a deep breath. "I don't want to be that other person anymore, he wasn't enough for you, this is me now." Derek told her, disappointment and sadness in his voice as he turned away from her and began to walk up towards the trailer again. Opening the door he stood there holding it open, waiting for her to follow him up and enter the trailer.