Welcome!

[Raven Winters]

Raven gave an inaudible sigh as she read over the same line in her novel for the eigth time before dropping her head back against the armchair, allowing her hands to fall into her lap with the paperback book, and looking up at the ceiling. The story, no matter how interesting it was, was having a difficult time keeping her attention. It had been a long, not to mention boring, week since the night Raven had spent cuddled up in AJ's arms until he'd fallen asleep. Maybe it had been longer than a week. In truth, if could even have been shorter. She couldn't exactly keep track. Time just started to blend together when you were stuck in the same place for so long. Either way, it didn't change that things had been awkward between the two since then. The tension in the flat was so thick it could be cut with a knife. Though, that tension could very well have only been in Raven's mind. Perhaps she felt so uncomfortable around AJ that she thought there was tension when really, there wasn't. She wasn't sure. Actually, she couldn't be sure of much at this point. All common sense and rational thinking had escaped her during the time in the flat. For Raven it was as though up were down, left were right, and Potter and the Dark Lord were best friends.

Despite the utter confusion she felt every moment of the day since she'd arrived in apartment 3D, Raven tried her best to make conversation with AJ. It was never very successful though seeing as things got uncomfortable quicky and she ran out of things to say. Then again, AJ's limited responses didn't help much either. How could you make conversation with someone if they didn't actually try to keep it going? Really, you couldn't. It was all just a waste of time. That was why, for the past two days, she hadn't said a word to AJ. It wasn't because she was ignoring him. On the contrary, if he said something to her, she would gladly respond. She had just run out of conversation topics to attempt and AJ, for some reason, didn't bother to attempt to talk to her at all. Raven wasn't sure if perhaps he was ignoring her, but, at this point, was beyond having any motivation to talk to him without him initiating the conversation. If he wanted to talk to her, it was up to him. She was completely sick of starting conversation and then sitting in awkward silence with him for half an hour. Not talking at all was greatly prefered. Perhaps making conversation would be easier if she knew what was going on in that head of his...

Slowly sitting up straight, Raven brought the book up to her eyes. This time, however, she feigned reading while subtly peaking over the book. She was curious as to what AJ was doing to occupy his time, but didn't want him to notice. Despite losing interest during the last minute or so of reading, she'd been greatly enthralled by the muggle novel and hadn't given a thought to what AJ was doing. It was now, when she found herself tired of the thing, that she wondering how he had choosen to spend the endless, dull hours of being trapped in the flat.

'Perhaps this is what being a caged pet is like,', Raven thought to herself before shaking the idea from her mind bringing her attention back to the boy.

(Sorry, Jason! I had no muse. Like, none at all.)

[Atticus Saunders]

It wasn’t that AJ was ignoring Raven or that he didn’t want to talk to her. In fact, up until a few days ago he was glad for her company and was looking forward to maybe rekindling a bit of their relationship. It could never be what it once was of course, but having Raven as a friend seemed much better than living life completely without her. Not to mention that he would constantly worry for her safety if he knew she was out living the life of a death eater while simultaneously feeling rage for her actions against the people she called muggleborns. Now that would be a strange tossup. A muggleborn worrying for the safety of a death eater while he condemned her for her beliefs. Yes he would rather that it not come to that. At the moment, it looked like it never would. If Raven was willing to act civil and fairly friendly with him then she couldn’t go back to a life of a death eater in training, right? Right. AJ would do all he could to keep her from that life, though a spanner had been thrown into the works recently.

It was hard for AJ to even look at Raven lately. Just a few days ago AJ had been looking for a lost book in his room. Since Raven had been staying in his room since she had arrived, some of her things were in the way of his searching. Raven had been showering, so she had been unable to move what she didn’t want him to touch. AJ tried not to sift through her things, but in the process of moving her bag a photograph had become dislodged from wherever it was meant to be. AJ had picked up and had about to place back inside Raven’s bag when he actually took a second look at him. It was Raven…Raven and some Ravenclaw that AJ had seen around the castle before but never taken the time to really acknowledge. The boy was supposed to be a pureblood sympathizer or something like that. AJ had no reason to know him…until now. It was clear in the picture that he and Raven weren’t just friends. The way she was hanging on him said that they were much, much more. At first, AJ had tried to calm himself by trying to prove that the picture was old, but no…it was clear that it was recent…much more recent than any of the pictures AJ had of himself and Raven were.

Rage had come after that. AJ had to practice extreme self-control to keep himself from crumpling the picture up and ripping it to shreds or picking up whatever was in arms length and chucking it into a wall. He had been with Nicky, but Nicky was a different kind of girl. Raven was a party girl. It was obvious. She was young and reckless and lived for the moment. Nicky, while also young, didn’t quite act like it. She was mature and planned obsessively for the future. Nicky would never have draped herself over him in such a suggestive way. It was obvious what Raven had with the guy and it drove AJ nuts. Even thinking about his hands on Raven made him crazy. The anger, which had been very external when he had made his discovery, had thankfully been internalized so he didn’t take it out on Raven, but he still couldn’t manage to hold up a conversation with her…or even look at her without subtly clenching his jaw. She had gotten nothing except short, gruff responses and stony silences. Keeping his anger and jealousy, which he had to admit that it was, was taking its toll though AJ seriously doubted that he would be able to keep it bottled up inside forever.

Lately, he had taken to using the television to numb his mind, trying to ignore everything except what was happening on cable. However, today he was jarred from his intent staring by the feeling of eyes on him. He resisted for a few moments, pretending to continue watching the stupid game show on tv that was failing miserably at holding his attention. He chanced a look over his shoulder and found Raven peering at him from behind her book. At least she had found amusement. Surely she would return to her reading soon and they could go back to the silence that had been constant since Raven had given up talking to him. There would never be a resolution, but at least AJ wouldn’t lose Raven completely.

[Raven Winters]

As usual, AJ had chosen to let himself get lost in one of the numerous television programs that were on. Raven couldn’t figure out how he could just sit there all day. Sure, it had captured her interest for a number of days, but the novelty had worn off. There wasn’t much worth watching on TV. It was mostly because Raven rarely understood anything that was going on. One would think that it would actually peak one’s interest more, but considering the amount of muggle things she just couldn’t understand or figure out, it wasn’t even worth her time. It was the equivalent of her sitting and reading an entire instructional text in Romanian. She preferred a good book to television any day.

Raven kept her eyes locked on the back of AJ’s head, wondering how that boy could be so fascinated with television, when suddenly he turned and looked at her over his shoulder. Realizing that AJ had discovered her, for lack of a better word, spying, she quickly looked back down at her page. She did her best to appear like she was completely absorbed in the novel, but she knew it was too late for that. He knew she’d been watching him. Still, she felt slightly embarrassed because she wasn’t entirely sure what he was thinking when he noticed what she was up to. He probably thought she was being creepy. Great! Another reason for him not to talk to her...

Completely ignoring the words on the page as she stared at them, Raven tried to imagine what reasons AJ had for not speaking to her. Aside from the potential that he had been awake the other night, she hadn’t been able to think of a single thing. Even so, she thought it would only have made things awkward. Their current situation was more than awkward, though. AJ just seemed to genuinely not want to speak with her. Every response she got from him was short and implied “end of conversation”. It was completely ridiculous! Raven couldn’t live like this. She was a social person and, therefore, needed social interaction to be sane. If AJ was going to keep her locked up in this flat, it was his responsibility to keep her sane. He couldn’t just ignore her. Not forever at least. In fact, Raven decided that now was as good a time as any to confront AJ about why he was ignoring her. Sure she had given up all hope on making conversation, but this was different. She needed to know why he was acting so cold.

Standing up, Raven folded the corner of her page before tossing her book down on the armchair she’d inhabited for the past few hours. She then quickly crossed the room to where AJ was seated and sat down on the coffee table so that she was directly in front of him, blocking his view of the TV so that he had no way of ignoring her.

“AJ, what the bloody hell is going on with you?” Raven asked, her voice remaining calm, “Why are you completely ignoring me?”

[Atticus Saunders]

Just as AJ predicted, his ex went straight back to her book. She had always been a bit of a bookworm, though when compared to Nicky she was nothing of the sort. With the eye contact broken AJ turned back to the television, working hard to let out his breath of air out evenly. The threat of an annoyed sigh had been looming there for a moment, and that was exactly what he didn’t want to do. Raven didn’t need to know that he was troubled by something. AJ wanted her to think that he was perfectly content with the way things were. Besides, he knew Raven, and if she heard him sigh her mind would start racing. She would think he was annoyed with her, or something similar, and that wasn’t at all what he wanted her to think. He wasn’t annoyed with her…well not really. He was annoyed with that the fact that she had replaced him with someone quite quickly. And he was absolutely livid about the fact that her new relationship seemed to have gotten so serious so fast. So what if he and Raven had fallen for each other so quickly. That didn’t mean she was supposed to fall for any other guy that quickly.

Late at night, when his imagination got the best of him, AJ wondered whether Raven was like that with every guy she had had in her life. He had thought that what they had was unique and surprising, but maybe all of Raven’s relationships were exactly what they had had together. Maybe what they had shared wasn’t unique to her at all. That was a downer if he had ever heard one. He really didn’t want to think that was true, and deep down he was positive that she had loved him more than anyone she had ever dated, but part of wasn’t quite sure of that anymore. He’d tried to shake it off, but every time he saw her in that picture, kissing whatever the hell his name was, the doubts came back. Not to mention that he could imagine what’s-his-face waiting for Raven to return back to the castle and to his waiting arms. They were probably still dating. Raven had stayed with him for quite a while. She would probably stay with this new guy for just as long if not longer. After all, her new guy did appear to be more of Raven’s type then AJ felt he was.

AJ’s mind had been steadily wandering through those doubts and questions he wished he could ask her, and nothing good was coming of it. He was just working himself up and with Raven sitting right there it was hard for him not to get up and walk away, though he really had nowhere to go in the unbearably small flat. Maybe he would retire to his room for a few hours. Raven slept there, but that didn’t mean he was going to vacate it for good. However, just as AJ was contemplating standing up and retreating to a place where he could let some of his anger come out, Raven plunked herself down directly in front of him. He tried to place a content look on his face, but he was pretty sure it just came out as emotionless. AJ raked his fingers through his hair as she spoke, and attempted to push the anger down as far as he could. There was no reason for him to be upset with Raven. She could date whoever she wanted to now, and that was exactly what she would say if he brought it up. Then he would have to deal with the awkward conversation about why he cared so much, and she really didn’t need to know that he still loved her. That would just complicate things even more.

“I’m not ignoring you,” he replied, in a voice that he was sure sounded flat, “I’ve just been tired I guess.” He wished he had a better excuse then that lame reason, but he wasn’t the best at thinking on the spot. Leaning to the left, AJ attempted to look like he was trying to watch the television again. Perhaps she would just let this go and go back to her book. Too bad this was Raven he was talking about.

[Raven Winters]

Raven sighed at AJ’s pathetic response. That was a terrible excuse. In fact, it was almost insulting. She’d hoped he’d at least put in enough effort to make up a good excuse. Clearly, she wasn’t worth that much brain power to him. A little while ago, Raven would have thought he gave enough of a toss to at least give a valid response. Actually, his lack of interest in anything she had to say was almost surprising. One would imagine that someone who cared enough about a person to keep them out of Azkaban after they were almost killed by the person wouldn’t be so unresponsive. Clearly AJ was holding something back and Raven was determined to find out what it was. Mostly because one, she was curious, two, she deserved to know, and three, at least she would have something to occupy her time.

”You’re lying,” she said, leaning in the direction that AJ was looking in to try and see the TV, “You’ve been ignoring me and you’re trying to do it again.”

She was slowly becoming very annoyed by the whole situation. Raven didn’t think that this would get to her so quickly. Perhaps confrontation was a bad idea. Oh well, it was too late now and one raven started something, she followed through without backing down. That was just the way she was and had always been. Honestly though, AJ had it coming for his recent behaviour. They’d been getting along so well and then, out of nowhere, it was as though someone had died. AJ showed no emotion now. What could have possibly happened? Her ex couldn’t have simply been tired as he had claimed because, honestly, what could have been making him so tired? All he did was sit on the couch and watch TV. It wasn’t exactly one of those high impact, tiresome activities. That was why Raven knew he was lying. That was all the boy did. Eat, sleep, and watch TV. Two of those three things required him to be on the couch, hence, little movement was ever required which was actually quite unlike AJ. He was usually so active.

“You can’t deny it,” Raven said, pushing the topic further, “All you do is lay around all day. What the hell are you hiding?”

[Atticus Saunders]

Clenching his jaw as Raven moved to block his view of the tv that he was pretending to be watching, he reached for the remote, turning the power off so he could flee to a different room if things got a bit out of hand. AJ would hear what she had to say, but that mean he was going to stick around for long. Besides, perhaps she would take the action of turning off the television as a sign that he was going to pay attention to her and actually participate in this discussion. As if that was going to happen anytime soon. AJ was planning on escaping as soon as he was given the opportunity. He really didn’t want to fight with Raven. First off he always lost, and secondly nothing good ever came of it. They had argued so much back when they had dated; at least at first. Honestly AJ didn’t even know how they had managed to stay together so long.

“I’m not ignoring you,” he sullenly insisted, “I just haven’t got anything to say lately. It’s not like you’ve been a fountain of eloquent conversation lately. You’ve just been burying your nose into books.” He was trying to stay calm; really he was, but it was extremely difficult. He was already going nuts before Raven even showed up. Being cooped up inside was no way to live, especially for AJ. He had come from paradise, working with dragons in the outdoors to being cooped up in a tiny flat that only brought bad memories of his father back to him, with nothing for company; not even a dog or something of that nature, which would have been a relief for AJ. Then Raven had shown up, completely blindsiding him when she appeared in that hood. That had been a harsh blow for him, knowing that the girl who had said she loved him would be willing to kill him. Since then everything was just piling up. The thoughts of Raven with that new guy were hard enough as it was, but having her right next to him all the time when he was thinking of that was just too much.

Of course now wasn’t the best time to be thinking of all of that. It was just making AJ angrier. Sooner or later he would lose it and he didn’t want Raven to be around when he did. Hopefully he could shut himself in his room or the bathroom, and put up silencing charm up so he could vent without worrying about being heard. He’d even settle for the closet. Yes, he decided. Now would be a very good time to flee to his room. If Raven didn’t like it she could just shove it. It wasn’t like he owed her anything. He had just saved her from Azkaban. If anything she owed him. Standing up, he turned his back on Raven and began heading towards his room. Unfortunately, she kept pushing the subject though and his frayed temper just couldn’t stand her prodding. She really couldn’t just let it go could she? If she just let him be he might be able to forget what’s-his-face and go on being friendly with her, but she just had to push it.

“What am I hiding?” he asked, turning to face her while fighting to keep his voice at an acceptable level, though it had already risen in volume, “I’m not hiding anything. You’re the one who seems to be keeping a few things on the down low.” He clenched his jaw yet again as he reached into his pocket to retrieve the picture of her and her new boyfriend. He tossed towards her, watching it slice across the air over the couch and land on the floor next to the coffee table. “Didn’t take you long to find someone else, did it?” He shoved both of his hands into the pockets of his jeans, where he could hide his tightly balled fists as he watched her in silence.

[Raven Winters]

Raven had been just about to stand up and follow AJ to whichever room he was going to attempt to barricade himself in when he abruptly turned to face her. His voice, though increasing in volume, remained calm and collected, his words chosen carefully. This was a new side of AJ that he undoubtedly had developed in her absence. Old AJ never would have been so angry with her, even if it was as subtly angry as he was being now. Why he’d become so vocal and brass, Raven hadn’t a clue. She knew that she probably never would. Regardless, this wasn’t the time to think of such things so she pushed those thoughts to the back of her mind. She’d have to ponder that later because, at the moment, her full attention was required to respond to AJ.

A puzzled look crossed the Slytherin’s face at AJ’s words. What was he talking about? She wasn’t hiding anything from him. Well, to be honest, to hide things from him, she would have to talk to him without confessing to things. Considering they hadn’t exactly talked, there would have been no opportunity to hide anything. Technicalities aside, Raven wasn’t hiding anything from him. If she was, she hadn’t the slightest what it could be.

Once he’d spoken, Raven watched as AJ reached into his pocket and pulled out some small, rectangular piece of paper. He threw it across the room so that it landed, face down, on the floor by her feet. She looked down at the piece of paper, completely confused, and back at AJ several times. After a moment, Raven reached down and picked up the small piece of paper, simultaneously flipping it over. It was a photograph. Immediately, the little colour on Raven’s face completely vanished, turning her beautiful porcelain complexion into a sickly pale. Any expression that had adorned her delicate features had also vanished. What could she possible say to this? Moreover, what was AJ doing with it? When she’d initialized this conversation, Raven hadn’t expected something like this. What did this photograph have to do with anything, though? She had so many questions, yet, there was only one she managed to voice.

“What are you doing with this?”

[Atticus Saunders]

AJ snorted as Raven finally answered him. He’d hoped that there would be some kind of explanation once he admitted what it was that had him acting so cold these past few days, but he had gotten nothing of the sort from her. She was more concerned with how he had come across her picture then soothing his tattered ego. Yes seeing her with that Ravenclaw and knowing it was soon after him had been quite a blow to his pride. It was almost as bad as having Raven herself walk right up to him and tell him he wasn’t hard to get over to his face. Obviously she had no trouble hooking herself up with another guy after him. The thought made him want to, as always, pick up the nearest object, which happened to be a lamp and chuck it, perhaps out the window he could be satisfied with the crash of glass breaking. Instead, he settled on leaning back against the wall next to the door to his room and scuffing the toe of his foot rather roughly into the carpeting. He was already predicting what would happen next. She would accuse him of searching through her things like some kind of creep and then tell him that it was none of his business or something like that. He would most likely never get an explanation from her. Really, he wasn’t even sure whether he wanted to hear it. It had the possibility of soothing his bruised ego, or if it wasn’t what he wanted to hear it could cause him to just lose it.

“I didn’t go through your thing if that’s what you’re wondering,” he explained gruffly, “I was looking for something in my room. I had to move your bag and it fell out. I almost didn’t even realize what it was…” He trailed off into silence, waiting for her to speak. His anger was different now. He’d managed to tame his loud voice and instead settled on being cold and distant from her, looking at her with a slightly disgusted look on his face. He felt betrayed, though he honestly didn’t deserve to feel that way. They had been broken up when she had begun seeing the Ravenclaw obviously, but he was still wounded by how quickly she had gotten him out of her head. Sure he had dated Nicky, but it had taken him a while to get over Raven and move on to Nicky, and Nicky had been one of his best friends at the time as well. Raven had never mentioned what’s-his-name, so he was surely some guy she just met and fell for after AJ was out of the picture. God damn him to hell. When AJ got back to Hogwarts to take his NEWT’s he was surely going to have a few words with the Ravenclaw.

“I’m sure he’s waiting anxiously for your return to the castle,” AJ said bitterly, looking away from Raven and down at his feet. He honestly wanted to keep his mouth shut, turn around and lock her out of his room for a few hours, but he wanted to finish this. He wanted some sort of explanation now that he had given her the reason for the way he had been treating her for the past few days. Surely she preferred being ignored to this though.

[Raven Winters]

A million thoughts were racing through Raven’s mind as the two remained in silence. There was regret, confusion, anger, and so much more. Whichever one she was supposed to show, she wasn’t entirely sure. She wished she could have gone back and prevented AJ from getting his hands on the photograph. Or better yet, she wished she could go back and prevent the picture from ever being taken. At the same time, she wanted to scream at the top of her lungs until they burst. AJ had no right to touch her things whether it was by accident or not. Moreover, what was the relevance of this photograph to AJ’s new found silence? Since when did he care about what she did, especially since they hadn’t seen each other in a year? Raven had to admit to herself that she wished AJ hadn’t seen the photograph because she could barely look at it herself. She knew there would never again be a relationship between the two, but considering how strong her feelings were for her AJ, that didn’t keep Raven from wanting to hide away any sign that she had been in a relationship with someone else. Sure it was a past relationship, but she didn’t want AJ thinking she still had a boyfriend. Though, that would be grounds for her to be upset, not AJ. Speaking of which, why was he fuming over it?

“But... But what does this have to do with anything?” Raven finally said, her voice shaky, “Why did you keep it and why are you so angry about it?”

The fact that she actually managed to ask AJ the questions that were making her head spin surprised her. Raven didn’t think she’d ever be able to properly find her voice. That didn’t mean AJ would answer her though. Despite the slim chance, she desperately hoped he would because she needed light to be shed on their current situation. She was just so confused! Who wouldn’t be? AJ’s current behaviour just made no sense. His anger seemed so unfounded. Why would he be so angry over the photograph? It was just her with a boy. Well, not just with a boy... They were kissing. Regardless, Raven never would have imagined such a reaction. What did it matter to him if she was kissing someone else?

As she waited for a response, Raven’s eyes focused on the photograph that never managed to be still since her hand was trembling. In fact, her whole body was shaking because of how gut wrenchingly upset she was. She couldn’t tear her gaze from it because, if she did, she knew her eyes would find their way to AJ’s. There was no way Raven could tolerate looking into those big blue pools that, considering his behaviour and tone of voice, would undoubtedly be filled with anger. Raven wouldn’t be able to do that without bursting into tears. She was having a hard enough time keeping them inside her considering they had filled her eyes and were now threatening to fall. Showing weakness to him wasn’t going to solve anything. In fact, it would probably exacerbate the situation.

[Atticus Saunders]

This wasn’t exactly what AJ had envisioned when he had decided to let Raven in on what had been bothering him. He had expected her to try and explain it all away. Instead, she had taken over the conversation and was the one doing the questioning. AJ didn’t like the way things were turning out, though he in no way felt like taking control of the situation. Sullen silence suited him just fine and he would prefer not having to speak too much, lest Raven discover what was really making him so angry. Actually jealous was a more accurate description of his emotion. He was jealous of Raven’s new boyfriend and the way he seemed to have her wrapped around his finger. Of course he wasn’t about to let Raven in on this little secret, which explained the way he was avoiding her eyes as he sought the answer to her question. AJ wasn’t exactly the fastest thinker, especially when under pressure. It was a trait of most Hufflepuffs, though he would never admit it, and Raven knew it perfectly well. She had seen the slightly bewildered expression on his face whenever he was trying to think up an explanation for his latest shenanigans. Hopefully she couldn’t read his expression at the moment though. AJ was doing his best to mask it and he really didn’t think she was looking at him anyway. There was a definite lack of eye contact between the two of them.

“I just didn’t think you would get over…everything so quickly,” he admitted, though he stopped short at saying ‘me’. It just made it too personal. Saying everything as a more general term made it easier. Hopefully Raven would buy his new explanation, though it hardly answered everything, “Apparently it doesn’t take you long to move on.” It was true that he was angered by her ability to forget him so quickly, but there was so much more to it. At least he wasn’t lying to her right out. It was the half truth. Still, he couldn’t even bring himself to look at her. Lately he had hardly been able to allow his eyes to rest on her for long even before they had begun this argument. Now it was nearly impossible to look at her. Even watching her feet was beyond him. If anyone ever caught him acting like this, AJ would be mortified. His buddies back at the dragon sanctuary would never let him hear the end of it. Sure he had been whipped when they were dating, and even a little when he had dated Nicky, but now there was no excuse for him to give Raven so much control over him now. He didn’t know what happened. He had had such a firm hold of this whole situation when she had arrived and now it seemed like Raven had all the cards.

Opening his mouth, AJ was about to let another scathing comment loose, but thought better of it. He didn’t know what was wrong with him. He wasn’t as cruel as he was acting lately. It was true that he had changed over the past year. He had grown a spine and quit letting people walk all over him, but that didn’t mean he had to be heartless. Quite suddenly, AJ’s throat felt bone dry and he slowly turned and began to make his way to the kitchen. If she followed him then so be it; he would need to have a drink before he continued speaking to her, and if she stayed put then they could just leave this where it was and never speak of it again, though it always be on their minds. He didn’t know why he had even cared about maintaining a friendship with Raven at all. It would be masochistic. He would just be torturing himself. There was no way he and Raven could ever be together again, so what the hell was he doing even talking to her. Life seemed so much harder when she was so close and yet so far away from the place she was supposed to occupy in his life.

[Raven Winters]

Raven watched AJ intently, her eyes wide in an innocent confusion, though she made sure to avoid making any eye contact. It may have been a long time since, but every time she looked into his eyes, she managed to read him, but right now she was worried about what she might see. She was far too scared about finding in them something that would shatter her heart. Things were bad enough for her as it was; anything that could make their current uncomfortable situation worse was far from welcome.

Finally, AJ spoke, but his words did little to clear Raven’s confusion. She both understood and was further confused by her ex’s explanation. At a point in their lives, Raven knew AJ inside out and knew well that AJ always choose his words carefully – at least after the numerous arguments they had because of misunderstandings, he did - and despite their time apart, she knew that he still did, so what exactly did he mean by “everything”? Get over him? Or get over the unexplained break up followed by his mysterious disappearance? In all honesty, Raven wasn’t entirely sure. Whatever he meant, it still didn’t explain his current behaviour. Before the Slytherin girl could string words together in the form of a response, AJ turned away and headed for the kitchen.

Not prepared to leave their conversation at that, Raven stood to go after him. She took slow steps towards the kitchen, trying her best to be calm considering her body couldn’t stop shaking. Taking her time to reach the kitchen, she saw AJ getting himself a drink. She couldn’t see his face, but she wasn’t sure she wanted to. Standing behind him as he poured himself a glass of she wasn’t sure what, Raven reached her petite hand up, resting it on his broad shoulder, hoping he wouldn’t notice her nervous shaking. For a moment, she remained silent, as she still was unsure about what to say to him, before she spoke.

“AJ, I don’t understand...” she said apprehensively, her voice no louder than a whisper, “Get over everything? D-D-Do you mean us? I don’t really see what that has to do with anything, but Trace and I didn’t get together for a decent while afterwards... Regardless, why are you being this way? I don’t get it.”

[Atticus Saunders]

When he had begun his short journey to the kitchen, AJ had had his mind set on getting a swig or two of fire whiskey down his throat. It would help calm him and warm his newly chilled insides, for the moment he and Raven had begun this discussion it had felt as if a block of ice had dropped into his stomach, causing discomfort and a heaviness. Better that then butterflies or a twisting stomach he supposed. However, AJ soon though better of the fire whiskey and settled on getting himself a glass of tap water instead. Maybe he would brew some tea later when he had time, but right now he was more concerned with the light touch of Raven’s hand on his shoulder. It took an effort not to recoil from the touch he once would have embraced, but he managed to stay put, though there was a new tension in his shoulders; no doubt Raven would feel it. She had always been attuned to his tensions and emotions anyway; one of the reasons AJ had his back to her. At one point in time he had enjoyed the way they could communicate without spoken words, but now her ability to read him was nothing short of a nuisance. He didn’t know exactly what he was feeling now and didn’t care to think much about it, but Raven might be able to read his emotions better then he could right now. He didn’t want her in his head. It was best if they just ignored what they could see in each other. It would make things easier for the both of them, or at least him. Things didn’t seem to hard for his ex lately. It was obvious that she had gotten over him.

As Raven finally spoke, AJ grimaced. He’d known her gentle touch would be coupled with speech, but he had dreaded it. He didn’t want to carry on this conversation. It would just complicate things if she knew that he hadn’t broken up with her because he had stopped caring about her. “Yes I mean us,” he answered after a long silence. Despite not wanting this conversation to occur, AJ couldn’t just ignore Raven and pretend she didn’t exist. He owed her answers to whatever questions she had at the very least, though her last question was too much. He couldn’t answer that. It was for her own good. “Look, Raven,” he began again, “I don’t want to get into this. Let’s just leave it alone. I can’t explain anything without just raising more questions, so let’s just leave everything where it is.” He was being cryptic and he knew it, but there was no way he could think to explain himself without making her more confused unless he just came out and said that he had left her because he thought it would make her life easier, but that he still loved her and was completely and utterly jealous of the guy she had been with. Even that would raise more questions, but at least it would answer some.

“Just drop it,” he said flatly, trying to hide any emotion from his voice as he turned to face her, placing a stony, hopefully unreadable expression on his face. All Raven needed to see was a hardened man who had obviously changed since they had last seen one another. It would be easier for both of them if that was the way she saw him. He had to be someone that she wouldn’t question, though she would anyway. She had never been one to do what he wanted and while he had secretly enjoyed her spunk while they were dating, he didn’t appreciate her defiance now. Their relationship had to be exactly as the Order defined it. AJ was a guard, meant to keep a young death eater in training from hurting anyone on the outside of the flat that they shared now. AJ had been afflicted by emotion enough so that he couldn’t bear to see Raven be tossed to her demise in Azkaban, but he couldn’t be anything else to her than a cold, business-like guard. Perhaps he would take a page from Nicky’s book; brisk and business-like was the way to go. Still, at the thought of Nicky, AJ was tempted to bring her up. He would like to see how Raven reacted to seeing his relationship right in front of her face. That would do neither of them any good. If his mind didn’t stay cold and distant, at least he could make his body appear that way.

[Raven Winters]

“Have you gone bloody mad?!” Raven asked, her voice raised, “I’m not leaving things as they are. If anything, you owe me answers. And if they raise more questions, I deserve answers to those, too.”

Why on earth was AJ acting this way? He wasn’t making any sense at all and it was making Raven’s blood boil. After everything, he owed her an explanation. When she’d first arrived at the flat, she didn’t think he did because of what she’d done, or more accurately attempted to do, but with the current circumstances, she changed her mind. Especially considering AJ’s response because it only proved he had something to hide. She was sick of these secrets and she was sick of spending every second of every day asking herself, ‘why’. Raven wanted the answers she deserved and she wanted them now. It didn’t matter if AJ didn’t want to speak to her. She would get them out of him if it killed her.

“Do you think ignoring your problems will fix things? Is ‘dropping it’ your answer to everything?” she continued without giving him a chance to answer, her cheeks glowing red with anger, “Just the way you dropped me without an explanation when you found something about me that just wasn’t right. You weren’t man enough to come to me about it. You just bloody left me. You really are a spineless Huffleprat!”

She couldn’t control her anger anymore. Everything she’d bottled up over the last year was now spilling out and she couldn’t make it stop. Every brutal thought she’d ever wanted to confront her ex with, but never thought she’d ever get the chance to say, was verbalizing itself and being thrown directly in AJ’s face. Despite him deserving it, Raven truly wanted to stop. She wanted to run off and barricade herself in the toilet, refusing to come out during the hours during which AJ would be awake. It was a sad and sorry, but effective way of escaping AJ. It definitely wouldn’t be forever, that would be impossible, so she wasn’t entirely sure what the point would be, but it didn’t matter because all she wanted was a way to be away from him at that very moment and she didn’t care how.

“You broke your promises. I can’t believe I ever gave you a chance. I betrayed everyone for you! Do you know what that’s like? To lose everyone you’ve ever known? Sure, I had Millie, but she was never on my side about it. She tolerated it, nothing more. I was alone! I gave up my family for you. When have you ever had to give up anything for anybody? Huh, AJ? Can you answer that? I can’t believe I thought you were worth it.” She said, tears escaping from her eyes and running down her face, burning her cheeks.

Raven stood there, trying to read AJ without looking into his eyes. She didn’t want to see what was in them. She was worried that it would be more painful than merely reading his body language, which was painful enough as it was considering it conveyed a cold and distant shell of the boy who was once her entire world.

“Fuck you, AJ,” she finally managed after a long pause, her voice shaky, “Just... fuck you.”

[Atticus Saunders]

At Raven’s words AJ found himself biting back a dry, sarcastic laugh. Had he gone mad? Didn’t she know that he was? The entire world had begun thinking he was mad the day he had started to spend time with one of the girls from Slytherin and he had known he was mad the day he had decided to leave the girl who had meant so much to him. Not only that, but his madness had been reaffirmed the moment he had taken that same Slytherin, now a murderous death eater, into his home. Everyone thought he was mad. His friends, the Order, and even AJ himself knew he was mad. Had Raven completely missed that?! He had to be mad to keep up with her. It wasn’t as if she was the steadiest girl in the world. She was emotional, dramatic, and very prone to overreacting. At first AJ had been a little wary of her temper and her slight, and sometimes not so slight, mood swings, but he’d grown used to them and had learned to love them and her. He had to believe that any sane guy would have left her for a girl that was more…stable, but AJ had not, once again proving his insanity. Apparently the person closest to him had missed that little piece of information.

This wasn’t the first time he had fought with Raven; not by a long shot. Their early relationship had been fraught with arguments and fights. They had even broken up once due to some silly argument. AJ knew how Raven operated when she berated him. He knew well enough that he should keep his mouth shut, though she was making it very difficult, especially when she started with the house insults. He had left school, but that didn’t mean he had lost all of his house pride. Plus there were so many things she didn’t understand. She thought he had just left her for some random reason! She didn’t understand what he had done at all! It had been for her own good. Still, AJ kept silent, settling on clenching his jaw angrily. Keeping his distant composure wasn’t easy when you were arguing with a girl who knew you inside and out. She knew exactly what set him off and just how to push his buttons. Hell he wasn’t even sure if she knew she was touching a nerve sometimes. It was when she asked if he had ever given anything up for anybody, AJ almost lost it. Of course he’d give something up! He’d given her up, hadn’t he?! He’d given her up so she could have a better life and not lose her family and friends! He had thought that she might be smart enough to see that, but apparently not. She had her old life back, so what was she complaining about?! She had exactly what she wanted! Only Raven’s tears brought AJ back down from his boiling point. He had never been able to watch her cry, at least not without comforting; and now that he was the reason for her tears, he couldn’t stand looking at her. His eyes were glued to a spot over her head as he tried to maintain his emotionless shell.

In the end it was her last words that broke him. They were such simple words and yet they affected AJ so much. She was so dismissive about what he’d done for her. Why didn’t she get it?! AJ’s cheeks flushed a light red for a few moments as he attempted to hold his anger in, but he quickly lost the battle. The flush faded from his cheeks as he redirected his anger into a verbal medium. “Listen you stupid, little girl!” he shouted, “You think you have this all figured out! You can’t even imagine that there’s something going on here that you don’t understand! You just don’t get it do you?” He paused to shove his hands in his pockets where he could clench his fists and finally managed to glare down at her, trying to catch her gaze with his. If she thought she was the only one who had suffered she was dead wrong. “Of course I’ve given something up! I gave you up, didn’t I?! I don’t know what you’re complaining about! You got your life back! You’re back in the good graces of your fellow Slytherins! Everything you lost is back again! You’ve got everything you wanted, so why don’t you just focus on enjoying your life once you get out of here! You should be looking forward to it, not badgering me for doing what I had to do! It was what was best for you!” AJ lapsed into silence, his breathing heavy. It had been a long time since he’d shouted so forcefully at someone. Raven had pushed his buttons though; she’d pushed too hard. He clenched his jaw once again, hoping that Raven would understand some of what he had for her or that she would at least let him be. If he was going to have to live life without her he wanted to at least live it without her constant questioning and prodding.

[Raven Winters]

Though she’d been previously doing whatever she could to avoid looking up into his eyes, Raven’s gaze darted up to look at AJ’s face faster than a Firebolt. Her cheeks were flushed with loose strands of hair, dampened by her tears, sticking to them. The sobs had stopped, but the tears continued to flow from her eyes. She took half a step back out of surprised, but widened the gap between them by no more than a foot. Raven was stunned by AJ’s words. She hadn’t expected that sort of response from him at all. If anything, she thought he would yell, ‘Go suck it up’ or ‘Go crawling back to Trace’. Or, at the very least, a ‘Fuck you, too’. She’d gotten no such responses, though. Instead, she’d gotten a confession. One which explained everything and nothing.

“Gave me up?” Raven finally managed to say after a few long moments of silence, “You say that as though it was somehow a difficult thing for you to do.”

Raven continued to go over and over AJ’s words in her head. She understood what they meant, but, in a strange way, couldn’t. It didn’t make sense. If he ‘gave her up’ that meant he didn’t want to let her go. If he didn’t want to, why did he? He gave reasons, but they didn’t make sense. Where had he gotten such ideas from? Raven thought he’d known her well. If he had, he’d never have thought she wanted him out of her life. Why would she want that? She’d given up everything for him and, as long as she had him, she didn’t care that she’d given up so much. To her, it was worth it.

“Got my life back? AJ, how can you say that? How can you say I got my life back? Got back everything I wanted? You really must be mad.” she paused for a moment, sniffing, “You were everything I wanted. You were my life. Everything I gave up... I was happy to give up. For you. I lost a lot, but gained more. I gained a life with you. I didn’t want anything else. Just you. ”

[Atticus Saunders]

“If it had been easy for me don’t you think I would have gone to see you instead of writing that damn letter?” AJ asked. For someone who was supposed to belong a house where cunning was valued Raven didn’t seem able to put two and two together. The criticism of Hufflepuff was always either that they were dumb or that they were weak. They weren’t book smart like Ravenclaw, they weren’t cunning like the Slytherins, and they weren’t as courageous like the Gryffindors. They were just the hardworkers. What most people didn’t realize though was that many Hufflepuffs were on the cusp of being sorted into other houses. AJ, for one, had nearly been sorted into Gryffindor. He certainly wasn’t the most intelligent or cunning of young men, but he was brave, in his own opinion anyway. However, he lacked the bold, brash nature of most Gryffindors. He wasn’t the type to show off. If he acted courageous, AJ would mostly avoid any attention associated with his actions, where Gryffindors would do everything in their power to make sure they were noticed. So AJ, the strong, silent, hardworking type went to Hufflepuff, which suited him much better. Sure he wasn’t a Gryffindor, but that didn’t mean he didn’t carry any of the characteristics of that house. He had thought that Raven of all people had known that.

Now that Raven was looking at him, he couldn’t meet her gaze. With his back to the counter AJ felt trapped, like a cornered animal...vulnerable. It wasn’t something he was used to, especially when it was caused by a girl who only topped five feet by a couple inches. Only Raven could make him feel as if he was standing in front of a firing squad in nothing except his boxers. She’d always been able to do that, though she rarely ever used the power. In fact, she’d always tried to be sensitive to his male ego. That was why he had felt so terrible that she had to put up with the taunts from her own house for dating him. He hadn’t been able to see her friendless. The look on her face when she had to sit at her house table was enough to give AJ some sleepless nights. House tables were supposed to be full of friends and nearly family, but Raven often looked displeased at hers, or livid, or even miserable. AJ hated to see her that way. That had started AJ’s guilty spiral. Other events had fueled it, but the key moment had been the end.

“Then maybe you’re the mad one,” he countered, placing her hands back on the counter as if bracing himself. He still couldn’t look at her. “Because you need more than one person in your life. You need friends and family. You have that, and for you to just abandon it all for me would be crazy.” To say AJ was uncomfortable might have been the understatement of the year. He wasn’t the type to discuss his feelings or even think about them if he had the choice. His flight response kicked in yet again and he side stepped her. He didn’t go far, but the point was that he wasn’t cornered anymore. Really he should just head for the couch and resume his attempt to watch tv, but he couldn’t do that to her anymore. He couldn’t just ignore her. It was bad enough that she was crying because of him. He supposed that he owed her an explanation to her questions at the very least.

[Raven Winters]

Raven thought about AJ’s words carefully. Why had he chosen to send her a letter instead of telling her in person? There could be any number of reasons, but she had avoided thinking about it too much. Some of the reasons she came up with were painful. Now that he’d thrown it out into discussion, however, Raven finally ran through all the reasons why he would want to send a letter. I disgusted him. He knew I’d cry and didn't want to deal with it. I messed up and he changed his mind about being with me. He wouldn’t feel as guilty for breaking my heart. He had better things to do. He had better girls to be around... Of course, that was just Raven being the pessimist that she was. She knew AJ well enough to know he wasn’t the sort of guy to do what he did for any of those reasons. Yet, having her heart unexpectedly shattered made her second guess her rational thinking so it didn’t matter what type of person AJ was because Raven still had all those reasons floating around in her head. She wasn’t going to admit them , though. She’d look weak. Now was not the time to look weak. Well, now wasn’t the time to look weaker because, really, who was she kidding? She looked disgustingly weak with tears running down her face.

“I don’t know! Maybe you were just too scared of what inanimate object I’d turn you into if you shattered my heart face to face,” Raven replied, though her words were a lie to cover up her weakness and she was certain AJ would be able to see through it, “If it was so difficult, why do it at all?”

In truth, Raven wasn’t expecting an answer to her question. She almost didn’t want an answer because she was too afraid of hearing AJ list all the reasons why he didn’t want her. The question just sprung out for some reason. AJ would probably avoid it like the plague, though. He was good at dodging her questions. She’d always insist, but he managed to dance around them nonetheless.

She watched as AJ began moving around the kitchen for the sake of motion. Despite his movement, he didn’t really go anywhere and it made him look like he was uncomfortable. He deserved to feel uncomfortable, though. He brought this all on himself. Eventually AJ sidestepped her, but didn’t try to walk away. Raven was glad he didn’t because that would make talking more difficult and, now that they’d started, she wasn’t going to stop until everything was out in the open.

“Maybe I am mad, AJ,” she replied, mimicking his side step to block any possibility of him walking away, before placing both her hands on his chest, “And maybe you’re right that I need more than one person in my life, but it doesn’t change anything. I expected to lose friends and family the moment I found out what you were and decided that I didn’t care. And you know what, AJ? I didn’t mind letting them go. Because the very few that truly mattered to me, whether they liked it or not, accepted it. Accepted us. Even if they didn’t, it didn’t make a difference because I had you. And I could always make new friends. I... I loved you, AJ.”

Raven looked up at him as she spoke. Her eyes had grown wide, like those of an innocent puppy, and were filled with tears that would soon spill out, but she held them back for now. This was Raven as she’d once been a year ago. Her hard shell had dissolved and she now stood before him, completely vulnerable. She was well aware of this and it scared her. It put Raven in a position where she could easily be destroyed completely. Not that that was a difficult task. Not in the slightest! Since the end of her relationship with the Hufflepuff that stood before her now, she’d been broken. Only the tiniest piece of her former self remained. Everything else was faked because, really, there wasn’t anything left.

“I thought we could work through anything. You should have come to me.” Raven said, her voice soft and almost distant, as she raised her right hand up to AJ’s face unconsciously. She stroked his cheek gently with the back of her smooth, petite hand, her eyes now locked with AJ’s.

[Atticus Saunders]

AJ was waffling. He’d told himself to remain strong. To stand in front of her and just tell her what she wanted to know, but every second he stood there the urge to flee grew stronger. Every question she asked him made feel as if he was in a box that was continuously getting smaller and smaller. Saying that he felt claustrophobic was an understatement. Back when he and Raven had been dating he had been much more open, more comfortable with explaining his thoughts and emotions. He didn’t know whether he was just jaded from his experience with Nicky or whether this was just the way he had grown up, but he wasn’t the type of guy to discuss anything internal. His thoughts and emotions could stay inside his head and his heart where they belonged, and if he could escape any situation where he was told to share his feelings well that was just fine. Running wasn’t an option this time though. It wasn’t as if he could leave the flat. Raven had full twenty-four hour access to him and would probably continuously badger him until he broke and just spilled everything to her. Breaking wasn’t a suitable option for him though, so he would have to bend and hope that he would snap back into place afterwards.

“Because I wanted you to have it all,” he said gruffly, his cheeks coloring red with embarrassment as he began to open up to her slightly. He was trying. She had to give him that. “You looked so miserable when you were with your house...I didn’t want you to be that unhappy.” He paused, trying to collect his thoughts, which were scattered in panic at the very idea of letting Raven in. “I wanted you to have it all...and with me you couldn’t.” AJ raised a hand to rake his fingers through his hair, which had grown too shaggy for its own good since he had been cooped up. It was an agitated gesture that would no doubt clue Raven in to how much this was bothering him if she didn’t know already. Maybe she would turn him into an inanimate object now just for being such a dunce. It would almost be nice. Nobody ever expected emotional confessions from the living room coffee table.

She was quite possibly mad. He was most certainly mad. Perhaps they were a good match after all. The guilt that he had borne since he had sent Raven that letter had expanded to enormous proportions since she had started to tear up, but now that she was talking about love he feared that he might collapse under the weight of his guilt. She had known that he loved her back when they had dated, but as of now she had probably come to the conclusion that he had broken things off because he hadn’t loved her at all. It wasn’t that. It wasn’t that at all. The more he had thought about how much she was suffering in Slytherin the more convoluted his logic had become until his thoughts were such a tangled mass that the only solution he could see was dropping her for her own good, and he couldn’t approach her for fear she would see right through him.

“I’m sorry,” he admitted quietly as she looked up at him with those mesmerizing eyes of hers. As much as he wanted to look away he couldn’t. She’d trapped him in her gaze. His feet were practically rooted to the spot. “You’re right.” He reached up to take the hand that was at his cheek and lower it, but he didn’t let it go. He didn’t know what else to say. Once you might have called AJ a talented speaker, but now he wasn’t much of a talker. He liked to sum everything up into just a few words. The less words the better. He finally managed to tear his gaze from hers and looked down at their hands. He couldn’t bear to look at her tear filled eyes anymore knowing that he was the cause. It was his fault she was stuck here with him in the first place. It was his fault she had gotten mixed up with the Death Eaters. What more could he do to damage this girl’s life? If he allowed himself to fall back into his old logic he could justify his actions. He had caused her much trouble. She was better off without him. A small voice in his head reprimanded him. Look where his martyr-like thinking had gotten her. He had been trying to make her decisions for her. It was time to just let her head wherever she pleased in life.

[Raven Winters]

“You don’t understand, do you, AJ?” she asked, her voice gentle, as the corner of her mouth pulled up into a slight half smile, “I had it all when I had you.”

For the first time in what must have been months, Raven chuckled. Now knowing the truth, she couldn’t do anything aside from laugh at AJ for his behaviour. He was absolutely ridiculous. How could he have possibly thought such a stupid thing? In a way, it was sort of sweet, but it was stupid nonetheless. AJ should have known better. He should have come to her. Talked to her. Found out what she really wanted instead of making assumptions.

“I’m sorry. You’re right.”

Raven wasn’t sure why, but, for some reason, AJ’s apology struck a chord. Despite its good intention, it angered her. She was appreciative of it in a certain way, but hated the apology. It wasn’t that he didn’t go into detail with it, though, that did bother her slightly. What really bothered her about it most was that it was, indeed, an apology. Raven didn’t need one. She hadn’t waited twelve months just to hear AJ tell her he was sorry. She didn’t want to be selfish, but she felt she deserved more than a spoken apology. AJ needed to prove it. Actions speak louder than words and, thus far, AJ’s actions up until this point didn’t make Raven feel like he was sorry. The only thing she could gather from his actions was that he didn’t want her. He was going to have to prove otherwise.

Now upset about AJ’s most recent words, Raven pulled her hands away from AJ’s. Though her face was still streaked with tears, her eyes were no longer producing them and they certainly weren’t puppy-like. They were now serious and focused as opposed to the sort of dreamy stare they’d previously had. The Slytherin girl closed her hands into fists and slammed them, one at a time, against AJ’s chest. Of course, Raven wasn’t strong enough to actually make it hurt him. She continued her pounding as she spoke.

“I don’t want your sorry apology, AJ.” she began, her voice filled with emotion, “Do you think that’s what I want? Do you think I’ve waited this long for an apology, AJ? Your words prove nothing to me. I want more than an apology.”

The second she uttered her last word, Raven ceased her pounding against AJ’s torso. She unclenched her fists and reached up towards AJ’s neck. Placing both hands firmly on the back of her ex’s neck, Raven simultaneously stood up on the tips of her toes and forcefully pulled AJ’s face down towards hers. Their lips met and Raven melted. She was in heaven. Dozens of little voices in her head were trying to tell her this wasn’t right, but her body was insisting otherwise. There was nothing more right than this.

The way it felt to kiss AJ again was indescribable. There just weren’t words for it. The only thing that could be described was how much Raven needed this. No matter how frustrated she was with AJ for what he’d done, she needed this. It’d had been long. Far too long. She’d missed AJ’s taste and she missed the way his lips moved so fluidly with hers. It was as though they were one person. Perfectly attuned to one another. Perfectly in sync with each other. She didn’t think she’d ever be able to pull away from AJ. At least not right now. She just needed him far too badly for that.

[Atticus Saunders]

Raven was smiling. AJ could hardly believe it. Not only was she smiling, but she was smiling at him. And she was laughing, really laughing. It wasn’t some cold, harsh bark of a laugh meant to belittle him. It was an honest to goodness laugh. He felt lighter than he had the whole past year. He’d thought part of him had been lost to never be found again, but maybe Raven was the only one who could bring it out. He was feeling more like his old self with every passing moment. Surely he looked more like the old AJ with the slow smile that was spreading over his features. He’d been stupid to let her go. AJ realized his folly now. It wasn’t as if he could undo the past, but maybe Raven was making his future look less bleak already. It was a talent she’d always had. How stupid of him to forget. It was as if he had taken her for granted and only by losing her could he really appreciate what he had back in their sixth year. Things were certainly looking up for AJ...if Raven’s reaction meant that they had a chance at rekindling their former romance.

His hopes were quickly dashed though. AJ was used to Raven’s melodramatic outbursts, but this one came as quite a shock. One moment she was standing there, smiling at him as sweetly as she had the first time they had met, and the next she was beating her fists against his chest. He did nothing to stop her. For one, Raven didn’t really have the strength to put him through any discomfort, and secondly he owed her at the very least a punching bag to take her frustrations out on. After all, he had been the cause of whatever pain she was going through, and though he’d had his weak moments, when he believed she had gotten over him quickly, he knew that she’d gone through exactly the same pain he had. She’d probably gone through more. AJ had at least had an explanation. He’d left her with nothing more than a made up letter. Of course she was angry, but he’d thought that they were making progress. Now they were back to square one with her hating him it seemed.

Thankfully her words rekindled his hopes...but only slightly. More than an apology? What was he supposed to do? Did she want him to turn back time? Knowing Raven and her dramatic streak she would love that. “Ra-” he began, intending to ask her exactly what she wanted from him. He wasn’t sure if she would tell him or pull one of those ‘you should know’ deals that women so often seemed to pull, but it didn’t matter. Before he could utter more than a syllable of her name their lips had come crashing together. It took him by surprise for a moment or two, but soon he found himself returning her kiss enthusiastically, eyes closing as he lost himself to the rest of the world. It had always been like this. When their lips were locked they could have been standing on a square of ground surrounded by nothingness. Nothing and no one mattered except for the two of them. Yet something in AJ was telling him that he shouldn’t be doing this. He shouldn’t be wrapping his arms around her and pulling her close to him as he was now, and he sure as hell should have been easing them out of the kitchen and back into the living room as he was now, but he couldn’t help himself. Call him selfish, but he’d missed the feeling of Raven’s body pressed against his and he’d missed the way her lips fit his...and he didn’t want to snog her in the kitchen to be honest. That just seemed a little strange to him, and so he was slowly pressing her backwards so they could at least make their way to the couch if this continued. He wasn’t about to abandon this. It was too much of a walk down memory lane. Whatever they had to work out they could work out later. Perhaps it was wrong of him. Maybe he should have stopped her, but he couldn’t find it in him to pull back and I don’t know anyone who would say that they could.