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 Shattered Paradise, Something I wrote in KS' Oekaki
Kota
Posted: May 19 2009, 04:55 PM


Magister Magi


Group: Scanlation/Fansub Projects Team
Posts: 6,310
Member No.: 4,689
Joined: 1-October 05



Whatever, here's a copy paste.

QUOTE
The first part is a retelling of the prologue that I believe sets the tone, although you may find it a bit..."depressing". You're free to skip, but it sets a tone. This is my first writing venture in awhile, and I did no rereading or checking to fix it up. This is straight off the top of my head, played by ear. I hope you don't find it terrible. No sex, no profanity, just a story. Hisao realizes his old life has been shattered and he begins anew at a new school, and has made friends with some unique characters...

-----------------------
I was a normal guy. I had a normal life. I had a normal future. I was normal. I had a crush on a girl in my class, I had simple hopes and dreams, I had friends to hang out with, I had little hobbies to occupy my time. It was all there. Normal. Boring, but happy. Not extraordinary, not amazing, but there was little more I could ask for.

I had an amazing encounter. It changed everything. I had a crush on a girl in my class. I didn't know her personally, I didn't speak with her much. She was the untouchable aim of my school life, a goal to keep in mind. I never actually expected to be with her. Everyone has these delusions. Not everyone has something happen.

I was called out by her. She left me a note, asking to speak with me in private. My heart leapt, hoping for the impossible and expecting reality. When we met after school, the impossible became possible. My life was changed from that of a normal guy. My normal life, my normal future, my normal crush...

She asked to go out with me. Surely it was a dream. In my nervousness I thought I had for sure sabotaged my own chances for success. Her question shattered my reality. As I attempted to respond, my chest tightened. This was unreal. Here she was, asking me to go out with her. Not the other way around. She was asking me. I guess I made myself seem like a loser. As I made futile efforts to respond, I fainted. What kind of man faints when a girl asks him out?

I asked myself that question many times. How could I be so stupid? How could I let this chance slip away? What kind of person was I? How pathetic was I? How screwed up must I be to have this happen? My luck was terrible. I let this impossibility slip by, and I couldn't do a thing.

When I woke up, I found myself in a hospital. My parents were crying. As I began to tear myself apart for failing, I was informed by the kindly doctors that I had a heart problem. It had never manifested itself previously, but decided to appear today. I had a heart attack after being asked out, after believing wholeheartedly for one second that true happiness might be possible.

Pathetic.

Not only was I young and naive, I was "special." I couldn't take responsibility for what happened. How could someone be responsible for a genetic heart condition? For days, even weeks, I could tell myself it was alright, that I would survive and somehow I would return to my normal life, with only slightly abnormal changes to the routine. After all, what else could I do? Even as the visitors dwindled, I kept face. It was only when the last reminder of normal happiness left my sight that I began to despair.

She was the last to leave. She, who had confessed her love for me, shattered my youthful dream, and turned my world upside down, was the last to leave. Her presence made me believe in that dying hope for normality. If only she were here, life could be normal. Even if I lose everything else, this extraordinary happiness could keep me alive. Perhaps it would balance out, come to an acceptable average.

But she left. She stopped coming to visit as I was trapped in that hospital, watching my life fade away. A more grim personality would be eager to call it a death, a destruction of a personality. I can honestly say that it was not. It was not a death, for I was still there. My parents were still there. I still knew everything I had, everything I could have had, everything that happened...I was stripped to the core, exposed, but still alive. I was still my old life.

No, it was when they let me leave that I died. It's almost poetic, really. The very thing I longed for, what I heralded as the one sign that life would return to normal, was the sign that it would not. The doctor, kind as always, met with myself and my parents. They informed me that I could leave...but I would go to a new school.

Children go to new schools all the time, I hear. I personally spent my entire life in one place, not really moving anywhere, so I had never dealt with it personally, but transfer students weren't that uncommon. We had 2 in our class. But this was different. The doctor said I should be near medical staff at all times to be safe, lest my condition relapse. My parents agreed. A tragic reminder of my new reality. They sent me to a boarding school, a school with a large, around the clock medical staff.

They sent me to a disabled school.

This is where life began anew. This is where I shed my preconceptions, my normal life, normal future, normal crushes and normal dreams. This is where I accepted a new life. A new future. New friends, new everything. This was a new beginning.

This was a nightmare.





-----------------------

"Hey, Misha. Shizune."

I greeted the pair as I entered the room. Ever since joining the Student Council, I've actually been enjoying myself. I didn't expect to find much to do or anyone to interact here, but...

"Whahahahahahaha~! Hey, Hicchan! Here to help us out again? We didn't even need to ask!"

"'Ask?' You two never seem to actually ask, personally..."

As Misha and Shizune began to put on their charade of innocence and happy faces, I smiled to myself. Even if I didn't want to get involved with this school and its students, I don't think I could have avoided these two latching on to me.

"Whaaat? We aaalways ask, Hicchan! Isn't that right, Shicchan?"

Shizune signed as usual, a mischievous grin on her face.

"Always! We're always polite, too!"

The two of them stand proud, hands on their hips. Really now, these two...

"Always," I agree, and sit down. "What's on the agenda today?"

They glance at each other quickly and then stare at me. Something tells me this won't be fun...

"Oh, nothing. Nothing at all, Hicchan."

I don't buy it.

"Nothing?"

"Noooothing~."

"..."

I raise an eyebrow, giving the pair a look.

"Wahahaha~! Well, if Hicchan is so eager to please, I su-ppooooose we could come up with sooooomething, right Shicchan?"

They couldn't be more obvious.

"Hmm. It's almost like you planned this..."

"What could Hicchan be talking about? We don't make plans, we're the Student Council!"

I don't think that's something you should be boasting about.

"So, what's up?"

Shizune nods, and Misha begins to talk.

"It's really s-i-m-p-l-e, Hicchan! Shicchan needs help with moving some boxes from last year! They're remodeling the storage room, so they need everything out! We've already taken care of most of the boxes, buuuut! There's some really heavy ones left! So we could use your help, Hicchan. Let's go!"

Sighing, I follow the two out the door and through the halls. Really, now. They can be so childish sometimes...Or is it just because Misha's talking?

As we enter the room, I notice it's quite dark and dusty. It's obviously been untouched for awhile, judging from the difference between the floor and square shapes where boxes used to rest.

"Here we are!"

Misha begins to walk to the boxes, and Shizune turns to me. She starts signing, slowly. I've been taking a few classes since joining StuCo simply because it's impractical to have Misha there all the time. Though I've never been good at learning new things like this, I'd begun to pick up some simpler words and commands, letting Shizune and I communicate basic ideas. Though limited, it's been useful, although it gives Shizune a chance to tease me as she helps me practice.

In...the...box...item...important...to...me

Reading Shizune's signs, I think that there's something important, something personal in the box Misha's dealing with. I fumble with my hands, trying to convey a message back.

Something...important...what?

Of...my...I can't tell what this sign is...memory...

Is she saying that this used to be someone else's? If it's important to her, does that mean it's a memento or something?

"Hey, Hicchan, Shicchan! That's no fair, keeping me out of the conversation like that!"

Misha's managed to sneak up on us. Although she's as happy as Shizune that I'm learning some signs, she still likes to pretend that it's going to make us forget about her or something.

"Wahahaha~! It is unfair, Shicchan! Leaving me out in the cold like that~."

She's happy as ever. Glancing at Shiccha-, Shizune, rather, I see that she doesn't want to tell Misha about it. I feel a little special, knowing she tried to tell me about it alone, and not to Misha.

"Hicchan, get this box here! It's the heaviest!"

"Hey, aren't you two going to help?"

They smile that dangerous smile of theirs, and gesture towards a much smaller, lighter box. It's the only other box in the room, now that I notice.

"We're going to carry that box, Hicchan!"

"I figured as much..."

"Wahahaha~! Does Hicchan think we're cruel? He is the one that asked to help, you know!"

Grunting, I carry the box back to the Student Council room. I know I'm supposed to take it easy, what with my condition and all, but I can't lose face here. These two are always playing games, and if I let them win this one, then who knows what they'll use that as leverage for next? Besides, I've been exercising a little more lately, and the room isn't too far away. It doesn't hurt that the box is somewhat lighter than I expected. Maybe they were planning something else...

"Phew."

Finally having carried the box to the Student Council room without causing a heart attack, I take a chair. Strange. I see that they've beaten me here; the small box is on the floor in the corner. But they're not here.

"Must be getting some drinks..."

The vending machine is down a hallway in a different direction from the storage room, so it's possible, but...

"..."

Shizune enters the room, alone. She seems a little tense. I try out some of my signing, but realize that I'm even worse when trying to say something instead of just listening, so I grab a notepad.

What's up, Shizune?

She takes the pad, and writes a response. We each take turns with the pen.

Nothing...

Where's Misha?

She said she forgot snacks for us all. She's getting them right now.

Hmm.

An awkward silence fills the room. Figuratively speaking, of course. I glance at Shizune, and notice she's looking at me. She blushes slightly and looks away. Hmm. I think I know what's going on. I grab the notepad again.

So, what's in the heavy box?

It's a treasure I keep...

?

... My aunt was very dear to me...

Ah...and she passed away?

Yes...The locket in there is what she gave to me before she...

I can tell this was an uneasy subject for her, so I don't continue writing. Shizune almost seems like a different person, but that's because Misha's always interpreting for her. I don't always think about it, but a lot of Misha's personality bleeds into Shizune's words. It's almost unsettling for her to seem so serious in comparison...

Unfortunately for me, curiosity gets the better of me. I grab the notepad once more.

May I see it?

Shizune pauses for a moment, then nods. She opens the box I carried, and pulls out a small, delicate locket and necklace. It's beautiful. Even if it didn't hold emotional value, I'm sure she would treasure it all the same. But the love and relationship of Shizune and her aunt almost seem to radiate off of its delicate intricacies. The locket is a beautiful item.

"It's beautiful..."

I don't know if Shizune was reading my lips, or just saw the look on my face, but she seemed to understand what I said. Maybe she planned it this way, maybe she didn't. It was a powerful gesture all the same. She took the locket, something she kept dear to her heart, and put it into the palm of my hand.

"Shizune?"

She just looks at me, and nods. Blushing, she looks away, but I move a little closer. She's really cute at these moments...

"I...think I understand..."

She looks back at me, and I see her face has become even redder. We slowly move forward, and I close my eyes. We're about to kiss...and I think...maybe even this life isn't so bad. Maybe I can still find happiness in this dreary world. Maybe there's hope, even for a pathetic man like me...


There's a loud slam. Misha is standing in the doorway, enraged. She looks like she could kill someone.

"How dare you! That's Shizune's Aunt's necklace!! And-!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

If I thought she was angry before, I was wrong. Her face contorts into a look of pure hate. It chills my soul to the core.

"What? Shizune just gave this to m-!"

Wait a second. There's something wrong. We were just kneeling on the floor, in front of the box. Why am I standing? Why is Shizune grimacing, pressed against the wall?


...

A quiet voice whispers in my ear. It's Shizune, a snide look on her face.

"So this is how your reality ends."

Everything seems to freeze as I see the pieces fall into place. In the corner, I see Rin. We spent so many afternoons on the rooftop eating lunch, so many afternoons having fun painting. I can still remember the first time I saw her laugh after spilling some paint. We were close friends...

Rin looked at me like a disgusting insect she would stomp seconds later.

"It really was quite beautiful...I suppose."

Emi, Hanako, Lilly, and even Misha lean against the far wall, each giving me looks of disgust and disapproval. How could they look at me like that? How? We've spent so much time together! We're friends! Emi, who helped me regain my physical health! Hanako, the shy girl that would show a rare smile only when she thought I wasn't looking! Lilly, who helped me see the beautiful things I missed because I saw with my eyes! And Misha! There were two Mishas. Two...

I looked from them to the Shizune in front of me. There was a hand around her throat, grasping her neck tightly and pushing her up against the wall. The hand was connected to a familiar arm...my arm. I was squeezing her throat, choking her. Her uniform was a mess, as though someone tried to rip it off...and something shone in the darkness, reflecting moonlight. A small, beautiful pendant, a locket, a necklace...it hung from my clenched fist, raised high above my head as if to strike. Shizune was crying, and looked at me with such fearful eyes. Shizune, the girl I had just kissed, the girl who always tried to beat me at everything, the girl that gave me a new life...

She was afraid. So very afraid. And deep within her fearful eyes, I could see what finally shattered my blissful illusion. She hated me. My heart nearly stopped right there. I turned back to the wall.

"You lasted quite awhile." They mock me. The girls on the wall all mock me, mock my life, my illusion, my delusion.

The other Shizune walked around me to whisper in my other ear. She slowly touched my face with her hand, cooing ever so slightly, and kisses my cheek. Tears well in my eyes, as I realized what came next.

"Too bad it's not real."

She alone, of all the delusions, smiles at me. Almost as if she's sorry. She closes her eyes and draws away. She's gone.

As I see Misha run from the doorway, I release Shizune from my grasp, and she collapses to the floor. She'll live, and that lets me accept what would come next. In the seconds after my release, the delusion falls away. I see my true memories, not the blissful lies my mind told me. The cold shuns of the Student Council pair, the irrational fear of Hanako and Lilly's hatred of me for my "false" disability. Rin, who just shrugs and tries to avoid me, and Emi, who genuinely attempted to make me feel welcome...whom I shoved away in despair. I was alone all those times, every meeting I had with each, every date I made. There was no festival trip for me, I slept alone in my dorm. There were no fireworks, I popped my meds at an unhealthy rate. There were no after school art club meetings, no morning running sessions, no trips to the town, no games of chess or library meetings. Just hopeless stalking, sitting alone on the roof, avoiding classes, shunning teachers, and shutting myself in.

And tonight? The tears that began to well up start to fall as I realize what I had done. I can see it clearly now. Shizune signing to Misha about her locket. Misha and Shizune struggling to carry the large box to the room. Me sneaking in, wanting Shizune. Not wanting to talk with her, to sit with her, just wanting her. Tearing into the box and taking the locket as Shizune walked in. Pushing her against the wall with intent to...

As Misha begins to attack me, I feel a tear fall. I am knocked to the ground, unable to stand anymore. I can't tell if it was the assault or my realization, but I have no will to even move. As my vision dims, I think of only one thing.

A beautiful pendant, so warm with love...

[True End]


Don't judge the story idea or premise. Judge my actual writing.
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