The Party, Dragon Army Parody Ramble!

[Xanavie'aus]

Dragon Army (Official) RAMBLERS!
Chapter 1: Da Party
By the original makers of Dragon Army - Xanavie'aus Fri'ayastan & Luke Schweinsberg aka. FireSTarTeR
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Da party! Two of the most confusing words in the dictionary (actually one of them isn’t a word)! Dragyn is trying to sneak some booze!
SETTING - In the HQ’s bar/dining room! - 2F

XAN “Dragyn put that down now!”

DRAGYN “Ohh, but Gina & Preston get to have alcohol!”

LUKE “Shut up Dragyn, they’re over 18, plus they’re fully grown dragons, plus know where they can and can’t puke or piss.” *Hiccup*

XAN “YOU GAVE MY DRAGONS ALCOHOL!!?”

LUKE: “…………”

DRAGYN “Well if my memory serves me right, Luke, you’re 13, and you’ve drunk more than anyone here tonight!”

Luke darts away before Xan can turn to confront him!

XAN “I’ll deal with him later! Dragyn, it’s way past your bedtime! What are you still doing up?”

DRAGYN “I'm thirsty.”

XAN “There's some coke in the fridge, but don't touch the coke that's labelled “Luke's touch it and you'll find me staff up yer ass!!”!!!”

Dragyn walks over to the fridge and opens it only to find that the whole fridge is lined with bottles labelled “Luke's touch it and you’ll find me staff up yer ass!!!”
Dragyn, who thinks Luke wouldn’t notice one bottle missing takes a bottle and runs off to where Lizola was waiting for him.

LIZOLA “Get the booze?”

DRAGYN “Xan caught me so we have to settle for some coke! Now please put your leg down! If Xan smells piss on his sword again, I'll get the blame!”

LIZOLA “My demands were simple! Get me a cruiser or get the blame for opening the trunk and pissing on Xan’s most prized possession! What's that writing on the bottle?”

DRAGYN “Luke's touch it and you'll find me staff up yer ass!!!”

LIZOLA “You swiped one of Luke's cokes?”

Dragyn flicks back his mane and says:

DRAGYN “Pretty impressive, huh?”

Lizola immediately puts down her leg and snatches the coke off Dragyn.

DRAGYN “What gives?”

LIZOLA “Everyone knows Luke spikes his coke, this thing is 75% alcohol!”

DRAGYN “Err… Duhh, why do you think I got it for you?”

Many sweat drops run down Dragyn’s forehead.
Meanwhile outside!

LUKE “So then I stabbed him!”

CARLY “Great, ah, can you come and talk to me later when you’re sober?”

LUKE “Sorry, *HICCUP*, the freaky side of me can be ahhhhh… a little drunk sometimes!”

CARLY “Uh-huh…”

She gives Luke one last look before darting back in to the house!
Meanwhile under the stairs in the basement Lizola and Dragyn drink up!

LIZOLA “*HICCUP* Dragyn *HICCUP* have I *HICCUP* ever *HICCUP* told you how *HICCUP* good you look when you *HICCUP* sit in the moonlight?” *HICCUP*

DRAGYN “Moonlight? Lizola, we’re inside!”

Dragyn looks up to see no other source of light then a fluorescent light fizzling on and off.
As smashed as Dragyn was he knew where this was going and ran off to get some help the second he got out of the basement he bumped in to Jack.

DRAGYN “Jack! Help me! Lizola wants to MATE me!!!

JACK “Heh heh! Go for it! That’s definitely something I gotta see!”

Dragyn runs off, more terrified then ever.

DRAGYN “Everyone is NUTS!!!”

At that same minute he saw Lizola stumble out of the basement so he darted round the nearest corner tripping over Luke.

LUKE “What the fuck's up with you gas bag, hot date with Lizola?”

DRAGYN “Who told you!!!?”

Dragyn suddenly breaks out in tears.

LUKE “Dude, don't take it seriously, it’s just a joke, you would've had to have drank one of my cokes to be that smashed and desperate!”

Luke walks off laughing and suddenly Lizola peeks round the corner.

LIZOLA “Found ya!” *HICCUP*

Dragyn squeals and runs through the nearest door locking it behind him. Then, he suddenly unlocks it again and runs out. Drakhan is following.

DRAKHAN “XAN!”

XAN “What?”

DRAKHAN “Where’s Dragyn? He’s just walked in on me while I was taking a crap!!
I’m gonna kill the little #@$!!”

DRAGYN “Geez, you’re just takin’ a crap, it’s nothing I haven’t either seen, smelt, or done at least 20 times a day…”

Elsewhere, Janet and Carly seemed rather unsettled.

JANET “So Carly, found anyone here you like?”

CARLY “Well, yeah, and you?”

JANET “Well there’s one guy here who seems a charm and he doesn’t drink.”

CARLY “So what’s his name?”

JANET “Xan.”

Keeping a lookout Dragyn pops his head out from under the table only to look up and notice his head was sitting right in-between Carly’s legs.

JANET “Ahhhhhh!! Call pest control!”

Carly looks down and sees Dragyn’s head in-between her legs. On top of being hot from running, Dragyn’s tongue is out and he is panting!

CARLY “Aaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!”

Carly runs over to Xan who has now come running in with his sword.

XAN “What the hell’s going on in here?”

CARLY “That thing, under the table!”

Dragyn by now is already now climbing under the pile of empty pizza boxes Luke stashed under the table last year during spring (aka the after party) cleaning.
Xan looks under the table!

XAN “Dragyn! Get out of there!”

CARLY “You mean, this THING is yours!?”

Janet slaps Xan in the face!

JANET “HOW could you let him invade us like this!!?”

DRAGYN “I’d trust you to know that *HIC* I have a name!”

After throwing up 3 times, Dragyn passes out.

XAN “I’m terribly sorry, girls! I promise you, this will never happen again!
Dragyn just got a bit drunk!”

JANET “A BIT drunk!!!? Look at the floor!! He puked everywhere!!”

CARLY “Let’s go outside, Janet! This room REALLY stinks now!

XAN “But, girls…?”

Dragyn wakes up quickly, and finds himself in the tight grip of Xan’s hand.

XAN “YOU! YOU!”

DRAGYN “Me?”

XAN “YEH, YOU! You just embarrassed me in front of those girls!! The only night I get to invite outsiders into HQ, and you screw it up!!”

DRAGYN “It’s not just… ohhh… hang on a sec…”

Dragyn pukes again.

DRAGYN “errf… it wasn’t just me, Lizola’s behind all this, she forced me to drink this stuff, now I feel really, really sick, and now she also wants to screw me, she’s REALLY messed up, more so then me *HIC*!”

XAN “Grrrr… that lizard…”

Xan drops Dragyn and makes him clean up his mess, then he looks for Lara.
She was outside talking Janet and Carly into not leaving yet…

JANET “Oh… I hate that disgusting reptile…”

CARLY “Look at my skirt, I’ll never get the reptile puke stains out of this!!”

LARA “As one of Xan’s closest companions, I’m deeply sorry for what happened, and I’m sure both Xan and Dragyn are too…”

XAN “Well, you’re half right…”

JANET “You’d better give us at least one good reason why we should stay…”

LARA “I’ll wash your skirt for you! You can borrow one of mine until then!”

Lizola staggers outside to where they are, hiccupping and walking funny.

LARA “OH GEEZ, Lizola! Not you too!!?

LIZOLA “Heeeeyyy, did I *HIC* ever tell you *HIC* how much I just *HIC* love yoooooou??
(rubs up against Lara's leg like a cat)

LARA “I’ve never seen her so loaded!”

XAN “SHE’S why Dragyn got so pissed!”

Xan picks up Lizola by the tail, and holds her upside-down, which made her puke twice.

LIZOLA “Whad you call meeee?? You ain sa tough! Come on, I’ll… *BURRRRRPPP!!!*”

XAN “P… U…!! Her breath smells like Jack Daniels, Coke, and Turpentine all mixed together, then fermented by a furnace!!

LIZOLA “Yeh, an ya know whad else…? I pissed all ova ya floor, cuz tha toylut rejected me... stupid son of a...”

XAN “You have a death wish or something??”

LIZOLA “Noooo… not… not… youz is not puttin me in a diaper…”

XAN “I didn’t say that! But now that you mention it!”

LARA “Xan, honestly, that’s a stupid idea! She’ll just tear it off again!”

XAN “Look at her! She’s so drunk, she dosen’t even know what part of her farts come from!”

LIZOLA “Hehehe… yoo sed fart…”

XAN “She could just piss on the floor, and neither you nor her is gonna know about it, until you slip ass up on it!”

LARA “Suppose you have a point!”

XAN “Oh yeah, and stay THE HELL away from Dragyn! Got it?!!”

LIZOLA “dragyn? Oh, I never *HIC* liked that @#$!& anyway!”

JANET “We’ll stay, but I will slap you stupid if it happens again!!”

CARLY “Me too!”

LARA “Right, Liz! You’re going to sleep this booze off, you hear?”

LIZOLA “you got it…”

Lizola collapses into unconsciousness, and Lara takes her inside and puts her to bed.
Dragyn, feeling a little better, finds Xan and apologises.

DRAGYN “I'm really sorry! Please don't punish me! I cleaned up my mess!”

XAN “All of it? You were throwing up more then Gina when she's pregnant!”

DRAGYN “Yeh, even Lizola's too!”

XAN “I'm impressed. Suppose you've learned your lesson!”

DRAGYN “Oh, YES, I have!! I am not touching another drop of that stuff! It's foul!”

XAN “That's why I don't drink!”

DRAGYN “Say, can we order more pizza?”

XAN “Have you guys ALREADY eaten the 47 I ordered 6 hours ago?!!”

DRAGYN “No, Jack and Luke thought it'd be funny if they put chilli sauce on all of them and feed them to
Gina and Preston!”

XAN “Oh, my babies!!! They should know that they are allergic to spicy foods!!! GRRRR!!!”

DRAGYN "Umm, Xan, I think that would be WHY they did it??"

XAN "ARRRRGGGGGHHHH!!!!!!"

Xan checks on Gina and Preston in the basement. Both dragons are in awful shape.
Preston & Gina are laying on their bloated stomachs, panting.

XAN “Oh, darlings, are you alright!!? Look what they've done to you!!!”

They looked up at Xan, and were so glad to see him. They smiled contently between gags.
They seemed fearful that Xan was gonna punish them for eating the pizza.

XAN “Preston, Gina, don't be scared. You're not to blame, it's not your fault. You're good dragons!
It's the twerps who fed you that pizza & alcohol that are gonna cop it!”
Wait til ya see what I do to their rooms tonight...


End of Part 1

[LordShadow]

Dmn thats a long one. I haven't read it all but it's funny. Another good one by you Xan ^_^