The Little Red's Fairy Tales Fanfic

[Columbia]

Do not blame me, for I am small, insignificant, and have indeed been placed in an insane asylum.
... Okay, so maybe not. But yeah. No offense meant- this is just my fascination with this story speaking.
On with the Fanfic!

~~~~~

Once upon a time there was a young girl who lived in a cottage just south of the Enchanted Stream that separated the world of fairy-tales from the realm of realistic. Living so close, said girl was often pestered by fairy-tales that had gotten lost. However, being a lonely young child living on her own, she did not mind, and often invited the fairy-tales in for tea.

It was in this way that she learned about two deities called the Ironic Overpowers. As she invited in a lovely young man who introduced himself as 'Prince' into her home (which was old and falling apart), she heard him mumbling something- cursing said Ironic Overpowers rather violently. In an attempt to save her not-so-delicate ten-year-old ears, she rushed to the kitchen and started preparing tea.

When she came back out, the man was suitably calm, though he looked thoroughly depressed. Offering him the tea, she cautioned in a voice that was far too wise for her age, "Be careful, it's hot." Hoisting herself up onto her chair, she folded her hands in her lap.

The specifics of their conversation were polite and would undoubtedly bore you to death- so we shall skip over them for the time being. Suffice to say that when the girl helped the man back to his side of the world, he was very happy and immediately ran off to go save his beloved from whatever nifty fate had befallen her.

Gag.

The girl wandered back into her house, rather tuckered out after the intellectually stimulating conversation that was rather advanced for her poor mind- normally the people who wandered in where dopes or air-headed princesses- and fell upon her small, hard bed, letting her eyes close, and letting her mind drift off to dreamland, where she dreamt of reality.

She'd had far too much of Fairy-tales, thank you very much.

Of course, the next morning she woke up to find that Prince had taken her mug with him, leaving her only one. And that wouldn't do, because what happened next time she had a visitor? She was too far from civilization to just up and buy another one, so she did what any too-old ten year old would do.

She packed up a few vegetables from her garden, shoved them into a rucksack with her tea ingredients and a few extra changes of clothes, and went looking for Prince. Now, she had no clue what would happen to her on the other side of the river.

Having never been on the other side for longer than a moment, she crossed the river quite nervously with her eyes squeezed shut. When nothing happened (except for the dampening of red socks) she opened her eyes, glancing around quickly.

... It was bright. There were flowers everywhere, and a little deer peered out at her from behind a tree. A bunny bounded up to her, and she took a step forward, making the little bunny eye her suspiciously. Almost ready to puke (because in the ten-year-old body was the heart and mind of an emo-esque Cynical 16 year-old) she took a few cautious steps.

Suddenly a loud, booming voice came from thin air, causing the girl to fall backwards, arms flailing. "HOW DARE YOU NOT SKIP AND FROLIC IN MY FOREST?"

Ever-cheeky and a bit pissed at the scare she'd just been given, she forced herself to stand. "Your forest? So sorry, I didn't know. And what forest might that be?"

There was silence for a few moments before the voice piped up again, at a slightly softer degree. "... What do you mean, didn't know? Everyone knows that I, the Demon of Not-Quite-Evil-Intentions-and-Sickeningly-Sweet-Manners, own the Fluffy Forest of Forbidden Fruits."

After taking a couple of minutes to force down her immediate gag-reflex, she bit her lip. "Oh. Well. I'm not from around here, so I didn't know. And I don't skip and frolic. Ever."

The Demon of Not-Quite-Evil-Intentions-and-Sickeningly-Sweet-Manners paused, the replied, sounding a bit put out. "Oh. Well. I suppose you can go... But next time you're in here, you better be Skipping and Frolicking.

Managing not to wince, she nodded evenly. "Will do."

After a few more minutes of silence, she decided that the Demon of Not-Quite-Evil-Intentions-and-Sickeningly-Sweet-Manners had taken his leave and decided to do the same. After a few more hours of travel, she was hopelessly lost (not that she hadn't been in the first place), and lay her head down on her rucksack, promising herself that it would only be a half-hour nap.

When she awoke, it was to excruciating pain. Barely managing not to scream, she reached up to feel her ears, which felt like Laffy Taffy, and winced as the uber-sharp edge of one pierced her fingertip when she pressed down to hard. "The hell?" she muttered as the pain subsided in her ears and moved on to her back.

She couldn't quite twist her arms back that far, but she could feel and hear skin tearing as something (wings?) tearing out of her back and through her sun-dress (which had been the only thing she'd ever worn).

By the time it was all over, she felt sufficiently nauseous and dragged herself over to a conveniently located pond so that when she puked, she would be able to wash out her mouth.

What she saw in the rippling waters made her completely forget any sickness she might have had. Because staring back at her...

Was a complete stranger.

~~~~~~~

Wow... All of this and you still don't know her name. Or what she looks like.
And that, my luffs, was the prologue. Yep. The Prologue. Meaning there will be more to come. Eventually. If no one bashes my head in with a shovel for the crappiness.
Don't kill me.
Word Count: 1,010.

[Kiwi]

Hurray, fanfiction! *bounces*

I laughed out loud once, sniggered twice, and giggled probably about a half-dozen times throughout reading this. There were some very nice bits of comedic timing ~ I commend you!

And now I would like to read more, please.

[Columbia]

xP Really? Thankies! Of course, this means I actually have to write the next chappie. Bah.
Kay then. Off to write and plan and junk.
Glad you liked it.

EDIT: How the heck do you two do it? -seriously wishes she had a partner to write with- I think my stories go too fast... -mourns- Anywho. RIght. Back to writing. -poofs-

EDIT 2: Hmm... I wonder if I could add Wicked in without making him completely OOC and ruining the entire story... Hmm...

[Kiwi]

How do we do it? That is a good question...I'm not sure myself. ^^;

And just make Wicked as slimy and shudder-inducing as possible, and he won't be OOC.

OR, if you like, you could write him in, and we could have a look and see if he's acting properly. I'm not sure how he'd treat a young girl, though...he is a fairy, after all, and has no interest in folks who have two X chromosomes.

[Columbia]

Well, seeing as this is taking place after the whole spindle incident (-coughcough-) , I'm thinking he'd be rather put out... Aheh. And, erm. Yeah... Said character with two X chromosomes is fairly androgynous...

[Apple]

Yes, well...he kinda swore off women after his last wife. XD

[Columbia]

Oh, yes, I could tell- What with Red and all. And I didn't mean he'd be attracted to her. Gods no. -shudder- I meant that it might be hard at first to tell if she is actually a she. ^^

Heyo, whaddaya know? Chapter 1!

[Columbia]

Kaai. Kiwi wanted more- Kiwi gets more. However, whatever you found funny in the prologue was probably a fluke- so again, don't hurt me. And on a side note, I finally drew Che... And I realized that I have no artistic talent whatsoever.
Bah.
~

Staring into the pond, the girl smiled. The creature in the water... well, the expression couldn't quite be called a smile. In fact, it was, frankly, scary, and the girl immediately stopped, letting out a relieved sigh when the creature's face relaxed, contortions easing.

Of course, you would think, from this, that the creature in the water- which, apparently, was her- was hideously ugly. But that would ruin this little fanfic, because no one loves an ugly... Um... thing, so you'll be glad to know that indeed, she was not ugly.

No. She just... couldn't smile. Curious, she attempted it again, pushing herself to her knees and looking around. Flowers wilted- innocent little bunnies screamed. She face-faulted, and the world was saved from the terror of her... ah... smile. –coughcough-

Looking back at the water, she eyed her now body, twitching ever-so-slightly every few moments. The bunnies refused to come back, but that was okay- she probably would have used them in a stew, had they bothered her enough.

If she had to pull a word out of thin air to describe her, she would have probably said 'Green'. Yes, green- as in, overwhelming, nature-girl green. Insert twitch. Light brown hair spilled down in a straight river to brush against the backs of her knees- well, she'd always wanted longer hair, but she was rather put out that the lovely black hair that she'd had was gone.

The first hint of green was in her bangs- if they could be called that. Moving her hand, she brushed said bangs out of her eyes, where the next splash of green could be found.

Her eyes, where once they had been the brown, wide-eyed gaze of a child (Pfft. Ri-ight.) had narrowed, lightening to a deep jade- you guessed it- green. On her lids was a light dusting of green... what, eye shadow? Something like that. It also appeared beneath her eyes in spikes, but it was hardly noticeable- a glitter more than anything.

Her nose was just a smidge pointed above moss-green lips, like her chin. She swished her hands through the water to clean off her bloody fingers, ruining the image for a few minutes, and stood to get a full image realizing that the ground was farther away than she had remembered. She noted disdainfully that her tan had been banished, replaced by very, very pale skin.

She was starting to feel like she was in a fairy-tale. Oh, wait! She was! She wrinkled her nose and went on with her observations.

Her body was quite a bit longer than it had been a few nights back, but her body form had not changed that much- actually, the slim, shapeless form made her look more than a little androgynous. Said body was covered by a tattered dress- and not the sundress that she had been wearing, either. It was of a much smoother fabric and was green. She was starting to feel like she should be named Envy*.

The dress was fairly flexible, leaving her with ample freedom for leg movement as well. The sleeves were ripped off at the shoulders, and the neck was a bit high, almost choking her.

The last little bit of green were leg... things**. She didn't know what to call them. They were like... Like... Gloves for her legs, starting at mid-thigh and clinging to her skin, leaving only her green-painted toenails and heels free. And to top it all off, a silver (Ohmahgod, something NOT green!) bangle encircled her right ankle.

She twisted around, but couldn't find whatever had been ripping out of her back earlier. Her back was smooth- no knobs, no scars, not even any cuts. "Odd," she said, startling herself. When her heart had returned to a semi-normal pattern, she forced herself to start moving.

The bunnies still wouldn't come back, but a fawn decided that she was safe enough and started trotting behind her merrily. After about ten minutes, a bird perched itself on her shoulder, relocating to her head when she irritably brushed it off. Of course, the fact that neither of these animals had been slaughtered yet encouraged a skunk to bound up to her, and a squirrel to dart around beneath her feet, causing her to stumble more than once.

Soon enough, she had an entire gathering of animals swarming about her, and seemed to be getting nowhere. It seemed hours later that she stormed out of the trees, and was suddenly in open air, and thank god, the animals were gone!

Looking around curiously, she noticed two things. One was that there was no one around. The second was that, not five steps from where she stood, there was a road. She paused. This was getting to be a bit much. All of this just to find a missing mug? It was pointless.

... Then again...

It wasn't like she had anything to do back at that old, run-down cottage. So thinking, she stepped towards the road, knowing that this way she'd be far less likely to get lost.

No, she wasn't lost yet. She still knew the vague direction that she came from... Yeah.

Right.

So thinking, she set off, stumbling a few times due to differences in her walk caused by lengthened body... length.

And really, there's nothing of consequence to report for the majority of the time she was walking- with the exception of a pair of rather large, heart-shaped gates that she decided not to investigate. Really, she thought as she tucked long bangs back and gazed up, she didn't want to know.

And so another few hours later (hey, who said she was moving fast?) she reached another forest. Pausing, she contemplated the worst that could happen if she went in, remembering the bright and horrid Fluffy Forest of Forbidden Fruits. However, it seemed... dark. Thinking thus, she stepped through the treeline and was met with a nice, damp darkness, as well as an almost soothing quiet.

Relaxing ever-so-slightly, she continued on her way, thinking languid thoughts and no doubt going in many, many circles, despite the straight line that she was trying to walk.

Yes... She must have been going in circles, because she had passed that damn cabin at least five times. Forcing herself to halt, she stood and watched the cabin for some time. It wasn't as if she could ask for directions to a place that she didn't know...

It was at this time that a manly voice cut into her thoughts, singing a song. The song was so off tune, however, that she couldn't quite pin what, exactly, he was singing. And the fact that half of the words were hummed didn't help either. As the voice drew nearer, her body sort of froze, and she watched as a man (as indicated by the voice) stepped out of the foliage and marched towards the cabin.

And either her new look was helping her blend in, or the man was very unobservant, because he walked right past her and into the cabin. She made a sort of choking noise, hardly believing that the man hadn't seen her.

Of course, that was okay with her. She watched the cabin, now alight from inside, for a little while longer before shaking her head and moving again. When she thought she was far enough away, she pulled herself onto a tree branch and curled up, not unlike a cat, plucking at and readjusting her gloves and wondering how leaves had gotten in them.

Hmm...

Maybe when she had rested she would be able to figure out what the heck she was doing here, she thought, closing her eyes and relaxing. It didn't take long for her to fall asleep.

~
*Yeah, I couldn't resist. Green with Envy, you know? Besides... Envy's my favorite character from FMA. xP
**Think Envy's leg things, only longer. Again, I couldn't resist.
So, yeah, I stole stuff from Envy of FMA. But hey, it was either him or Itachi-Dono of Naruto. ^^ I'm such a dweeb. Kai, so this wasn't much longer than the other one, and the only purpose it served was to get her from point B to point D, skipping over point C completely. Next chapter I'll have to put in her name- it's hard to continue without it.
Didn't get Wicked in this chapter, but that's because I don't want her first impression of these people to be some slimy, purple-haired freak.
Word Count: 1461

[Kiwi]

Woo! Hunter got a cameo! XD

If I had to be nit-picky (and I do), I'd say that you could shave off a bit of the description of your character's clothing ~ It doesn't have to appear all at once. You can drop a sentence here or there throughtout the writing, instead of chunking it all together, and eventually we'll have a picture of what she's wearing. You could do something like,

"She reached up to push back her long bangs, and noticed that her fingernails had also become green."

Or

"She tugged irritably at the green gloves that had appeared with the rest of the ensemble."

or something.

I still giggled quite a bit as I read this, so I don't think the first bit was a fluke. Hurray, you!

[Columbia]

... TT-TT

Kaai. Thankies. I've had people tell me that before... but my mind gets stuck in a rut and stuff. I need to fix that... Hmm.

Meh. xP

And Hunter might have more of an appearance later on... Maybe in the next chapter... I kinda scrapped my whole 'plan' and... Yah. I'm winging it.

EDIT: I'm taking it down- maybe I can fix it up a bit.

EDIT 2: There, hope that's better- it seemed a bit better to me. I left out the nails- she'll probably bite them off later anyways.

[Columbia]

Hmm. Sudden inspiration hit me. It called to me and said,...
'Get Your Flippin' Arse Over Here And Write This Thing!'
O.O Scared me out of a good sleep too.
So here it is. Forgive the dream sequence- I just couldn't thing of anything else. Yum. Angst. (Does this count as Angst???)
Anywho.
-

"Ano, where's the baby? Where's th- Oh, there she is!" The asian-looking woman grinned, peeking through her fingers at the blank-faced child. Her husband stared at her from the door, shaking his head. "C'mon, Che, why won't you play?"

"I'm not a baby, Mother," said the serious child, looking aggravated despite her obvious boredom. The man frowned, and the woman bit her lip, turning away and bursting into tears.

"Why won't you talk to me? Where'd my baby go? W-why aren't you my baby anymore? YOU'RE NOT MY CHILD!" At the last words, the woman lunged forward as if intent upon clawing the girl's eyes out.

"Jesus!" the girl shouted, scrambling backwards, completely ruining the emotionless façade she'd worn but a few moments ago. "Dad!" she screamed as the woman got a grip on her arm, "DO SOMETHING!"

The man finally pushed himself away from the doorframe, locking an arm about the woman's waist and easily holding her back. "Such a pain," he mumbled. "You know she's not completely healed yet."

"Healed?!" Screeched the girl in disbelief, flinging her finger out to point at her now limp Mother. "She's a freakin' nutcase! She's never gonna be right again, and you know it! Christ, Dad, would you just take her into town and put her into the Asylum!?"

The man used his free hand to rub his brow, looking increasingly annoyed. "Just... go outside and do whatever little freaks like you do, would you?" The girl sneered out him and slammed out the door, leaving the two adults. He looked down at his wife, shaking his head. "I know it's not your fault, Xie-ling. It's hers."

The woman came out of her limp state, looking confused. "J-jacob? Jacob, where... where are we? I... I wanna go home! Take me home..."

The man smiled bitterly. "Of course, dear, we can go. Just let me collect Chehuang..."

"No," hissed Xie-ling, clinging to his arm, eyes narrowing. "I don't want the devil to come with us. She's the devil, Jacob. The devil's daughter, his advocate! She'll bring Hell on Earth, Jacob. Let's go- leave her!"

Jacob frowned, but nodded, scribbling something on a piece of scrap paper and leaving it on the table. "Alright, hun. Let's go..."

By the time Che got back, they and the car were long gone. Trailing a hand over the wall as she looked around the house, she spotted a yellow piece of paper that had fallen to the ground and stooped to pick it up, reading it with bored eyes.

'Che-
Your mother and I have gone to visit the old house. We will be back to get you soon enough.'

Che snorted, throwing the paper on the still-burning embers of the fireplace. "Good riddance," she muttered, running fingers through dark hair and collapsing into a kitchen chair. "It's not like I need them anyways- I can take care of myself." Not something many seven-year-olds could say.

"I don't need..."

"Ee?"

"Nngh..."

"Ee!" Che frowned, opening eyes to see what was making the aggravating noise. A very cute squirrel looked back at her, nibbling on a lock of her hair. Of course, up close it didn't look so cute.

"AAAAAH!" She screamed, shooting up and scooting backwards, limbs flailing. Of course, having forgotten she was on a branch, she went backwards and landed rather hard on her back. Breathlessly she stared up at the evil creature that had caused the newly-acquired (and very literal) ache in her tail-bone.

"... If I could stand up, you would so be dead right now," she muttered, and oh, if looks could kill. Luckily for the squirrel, they couldn't. Said squirrel ignored the warning and leapt down, landing neatly beside her head, and resumed nibbling on her hair.

Che groaned, forcing herself to stand up, and snatched the annoying creature up in her hand. It somehow eluded her grasp, though, and scampered up her arm, settling on her shoulder, and chattering idly in her ear. Deciding that he (She wasn't sure if it was a he, but it seemed like one to her) wasn't all that bad (at least she wouldn't get bored anytime soon), she set off, carefully making sure to avoid the cabin with the manly-man.

Once she was well on her way and was fairly sure there was no manly-man (she wondered vaguely if he had a name) around, she held out her arm. As if she had beamed him her thoughts, the little squirrel ran out and perched on her palm, nose quivering.

"Well, little... thing," she said, wrinkling her nose, "If you are going to travel with me and eat my hair, I am going to talk to you, because this place is a bit too quiet. And I can't just call you 'little squirrel'. So... What should I call you...?"

The squirrel stood up on its back feet, beady eyes looking squarely at her, and seemed to snicker. She frowned at it and stomped her foot, paying no heed to how stupid this might look to any outsiders. "What are you laughing at, mister? Shame on you!"

The squirrel snickered again. "Fine," she muttered, and the squirrel hurriedly scrambled for purchase as her arm lowered, ending up perched on her head. "I'll just call you 'Bob' and be done with it." The squirrel chattered at her, tail hanging down between her eyes and creating a rather amusing picture.

After a long time of walking a lot and getting nowhere (stumbling upon the cottage three times and immediately going back the way she came), she came upon a road. A road leading to a menacing mountain entrance, the top of said mountains being circled by dark and ominous... clouds. Bob the squirrel shivered, scurrying down to hide beneath her hair.

Che herself, however, merely blinked and continued on. Really, it didn't seem that bad. Bob seemed to have a different opinion, but what did she care? At a bridge over a large, gaping chasm she paused, looking with disdain upon a small being with pointed ears and butterfly wings, sleeping contentedly curled on the ground. "Ew," she muttered, wrinkling her nose. "It looks so... pretty. Ew."

Bob agreed.

Or at least, insomuch as a squirrel can agree with a human sentiment.

She rubbed the bridge of her nose and passed the creature, meandering over the bridge with the curiosity that only one with absolutely nothing else to do could muster. She passed through a dark cavern-sort of thing and almost, almost turned back at the rickety-looking bridge over the large lake of boiling lava, but her curiosity pushed her forward.

"Curiosity killed the cat," she muttered, making her way across the bridge. Finally she made her way to a large pair of doors (after nearly falling into the pit many times and having Bob chatter her ear off), and reached up to bang a large pair of knockers against the doors. When no answer came, she pushed open the door open, and was met by a poof of tepid air. She paused at the sight of the darkness, but stepped forward anyways, into the dense darkness.

----------

Haiii! Kiwi luff, this was continued for you, on the off chance that you wanted another chappie. Unfortunately, Hunter did not get a second cameo. –le sigh- But still. A few things that you might be curious about:
Why a squirrel? Because a bird can't do anything useful, she would have eaten a rabbit... and Squirrels are the luv, 'specially flying ones.
Why Bob? Because a fanfic just isn’t a fanfic without a Bob.
Word Count: 1,322 Words

[Kiwi]

*snerksnerk*

You do realize that Wicked's going to have to mistake her for a boy, don't you? Female fairies don't have long pointy ears in our twisted little world, only the males do. ;p

I look forward to reading more, yo.

[Columbia]

... Ugh... -feels vaguely sick-

T.T

Well, I realize it now... You think I can get away with him just being a sulky over Red?

... That induced a bad, bad thought. What if he wanted comfort?

O.O

... Neh........ You're so mean to me... -sniffsniff-

-runs off to write more and puzzle out this horrid dilemma you have set her up against-

[Kiwi]

Heh...I say you brought it upon yourself. She didn't have to stride so easily into the Wicked Fairy's lair. She could've been sensible like Bob suggested and turned round and went the other way. =P

*hugs*

I don't mean to discourage, but I thought it ought to be pointed out. Sorry! ^^;

[Columbia]

Nu! I missed you by TWO MINUTES!

... Yeah, well. I don't write Che. Che writes herself... So it's all her fault.

Che: Hey! -smack-

Sam: xDDD Don't smack me. I'm typing.

Che: S'not my fault. I was curious.

Bob: Ee!

Sam: Bob agrees with Kiwi luff. He doesn't like the purple decor.

***

EDIT: -sniff- Making Wicked in character (and sulking) is haaaard.