Phantasy_031, word.

Yeah, what's up with it?

I'm not making a poll due to the smartasses that I know will hand me ones.

Things I could have improved on, vice versa. And rate it out of ten on your own.

I can tell you spent a lot of time on it. It was looong, and your vocabulary and writing is good and mistake free. My mind wandered at some points (be nice I have ADD) but not to the point where I had to close out. I read the whole thing and I liked it. Writing in the first person like that is a good and easy way for me to understand your character.

You just need a pretty design with pretty colors to make that text more exciting is all.

God, sometimes I sound so faggy when giving out feedback for some reason. It just doesn't sound like me.

Fuck this, never again.

Thanks, Chris. Also, fuck ADD.

I liked it, the talk leading up the actual story I thought was pretty damn solid, something that, at times, can be heard to accomplish.

The story itself though, well, I understand what you where trying to do with it, trying to portray how Phantasy felt about himself, but I thought you could have done a much better job with that part of your roleplay, but everything else was solid, nice rp man, just spice up the story part some and you'll have a near damn perfect roleplay on your hands.

But that's just my opinion.

Peace.

It's cool, thanks man. As I stated if I had a little more time it would have been better.