Welcome to Wolf's Requiem

[Howl]

ooc. For the lovely Firejade right on the edge of Navarro. ic. Dawn came silently, without birds chorusing or insects buzzing to announce their presence on the plains. That day, light peaked over the eastern mountain Jael without much notice. Gentle rays moved down over the dry November grasses, the wet Fall earth, the muddy tracks along the trail the encircled the border of the Navarro. A red-splattered wolf stood quietly, emerald eyes gazing beyond the western border out into the drylands. Out there was freedom; out there was harshness; a dryness that reflected the cold north in some way. Nose lifted to the air, nostrils flaring momentarily to take in the scents but there were none. What would anyone want with that dry wasteland anyway? He could say the same about the northlands. How long had it been now since they originally came south? Two long years had passed and so much had come to pass. He would never have guessed he was on a path to becoming an alpha when he first set out on the journey here. He never would have guessed he would have turned into such a poor wolf. The sun rose, orange light stretching across the horizon. In the late Fall, all the birds had moved south, the insects dead or burrowed deep in the earth for the long sleep. There was only Howl now. His head turned up, throat opening to let a long deep howl crack the silent air. It was more than an awakening though. Somehow, in that quiet air, it felt as though he could let all the suffering inside him out and no one would hear. No one would hear.

[Firejade]

So gentle the rustling breeze in the light dawn air. Naught stirred, save Alsana’s breath that gently rustled through the long stalks of amber-crested grain as it swayed back and forth, arching downward almost in reverence to the deity’s blessing upon the land. The earth all but sparkled, the crystalline droplets of condensed dew collecting from a recent shower, nurturing Nature’s circle as the swollen ground drank greedily, the golden stalks gently urging it as they strained to look up at the sun.

The clouds were clear for the first time in two days, allowing the golden rays of the sun’s embrace to finally sneak over the tops of the Jael. Yet, almost as if this scene had been painted, nothing moved in the silent dawn air. Silent moments were a small chance to be calm in a world full of strife.. a chance to relax and let one’s cares go to the breeze, or perhaps let them out in a truly safe environment, where one could and would not be judged.

The female simply lay in the tall grasses, belly up as she watched the simple beauty of clouds passing across the sky in the morning air, taking in the small things.. the little things that made this world so very fascinating.

Then, her silent world was shattered. The land was shaken with a quiet, mournful howl that rippled across the plain. Yet, the most striking thing to the female was the voice that uttered such a miserable cry. For a moment, she cocked her head before rolling over, then leaping to her feet.

Whatever could be the matter with him? the female asked herself as she slowly took to the air, flexing the silver-rimmed golden feathers of her wings as they pulsed back and forth, back and forth, carrying her further and further up. Her vision, sharp as it could be in her relative youth, picked out the spot of red rather quickly, and the female followed it straight to the spot.. the crier… Howl.

The months had not been kind to him since he had last called upon her, and it would only take a blind wolf to deny such. He seemed months… no, years older than he should have been, much as stress would silver any wolf’s fur. She quietly came to rest a short distance behind him before gently stepping toward him. Jade knew her place in this new world, and kept her tail and ears low in respect as she approached him, then gently took a seat just behind her Lord, looking just below his nose.

“Is everything alright, my Lord? Your cry makes the very earth mourn for you.” she spoke, her voice very gentle and meek, much like the silence that surrounded them both.

~Firejade

[Howl]

The notes faded from his throat, vocals relaxing as his head lowered, and yet the male stood idle, gazing out over the border. It seemed only moments had passed before a flutter of wings broke the quiet that had returned around him. He did not look, but her voice identified her clearly. After all, she was the only one who spoke so highly of him. He couldn't deny that it was something he enjoyed, but at that moment in time, it seemed like a lie to have her speak to him like that. His eyes rolled to their corners, a sideways gaze looking over his left shoulder at her. "If only the earth would mourn..." It seemed the earth was the only one who cared anymore for his strife. But, the male didn't feel sorry for himself. The Coven was not a pack built upon feeling for others' woes. It was built upon self-reliance, pride, and strength. But, none of this made him feel any better about the situation. His ears turned back distastefully for a moment, his natural instinct telling him to be on-guard, to be defensive with her. It was rather foolish though, to cry out like that an expect no one to come. He was the alpha: who would not answer his call? "You've been away." His words were short, but direct, as he avoided her question. His eyes looked to her, noting her submissive demeanor. It was, relaxing to say the least. After all, what reason did she have to betray him? to use anything he told her against him? As foolish as he was for calling out, it would have been more foolish to think she had anything to gain from his demise. That had to be the one reason she was the perfect tool within the pack. Vinfe was loyal, a brave beta... but he too had ideals and loyalties to the past alpha. "You've missed quite a lot." His last words were said almost scoldingly. "Had you been here, you would know the answer to that..." But, it wasn't particularly her fault she didn't know about his children. He sighed, finally turning around so his gaze was direct. His smile was faint, almost painted on. "How good of you to rejoin us, m'Lady..." and though he spoke softly, there was that hint of sarcasm in his voice.

[Firejade]

Words can be more violent than any fang, more piercing than any claw. The female lowered her stance all the more when she heard the vehement onslaught erupt from him, even as short as it was. She had been absent for a spell. What if he had been slain in her absence? Though… even submissive as she was to him, she would not let him play this game of wits and win without a fight. Thus, head, ears, and tail lowered before him, she began to move her own pawns into play.

“Rejoin ‘us’, my Lord? I do not serve any but you, as I recall. I am a wolf of my word, and I swore loyalty to you alone. You have not called me, and thus I sought you out. I would help if you need it.” she spoke, a gleam ringing the golden edges of her eyes even from her tilted angle.

She might play games with his mind, but Jade was smarter than to allow him to even think that she had any devious intentions. No, he was a fun playmate, even if he seemed to be in a down mood today.

“However.. it does not take any of Alsana’s gifts to know that you hide much behind your anger. You lash at me because you cannot lash at another, do you not, my Lord?” she finished, laying silent as she slowly stretched her wings for just a moment, flicking them just a bit before they came to rest at her side again.

~Firejade

[Howl]

Her tongue was like lightning: it's strike quick and devastating, though nothing seemed more beautiful. There was a simpleness there, an honesty, that he wasn't used to hearing. She was right about some things but... about everything? Who was it exactly he wanted to lash out at? Saphiice? Eidolon? Eclipse? Though the three of them were sources of trifles in his life, he couldn't particularly imagine himself lashing out at them just then. Saphiice was Taiin's mother, Eidolon his guide, and Eclipse practically like a brother. So, who was it that he wanted to lash at? The answer was painfully obvious but he didn't dare form the name in his mind. Her wings stretched and his eyes momentarily trailed the movement, his mind caught in her words. Alsana's gifts. The words seemed so strikingly familiar to the day when they'd first met. She had always mentioned magic at that meeting as well. His eyes moved back to her and she seemed somehow smaller. She reminded him somehow of Lithium, though without the stoic quietness. It was the formality, maybe. The quickness of her mind that he was sure was hiding behind her silent facade. It made him all the more angry though. He wanted to blame her for everything Lithium had left behind, for everything he needed the red alpha's guidance for. "Did I not need you when Saphiice called her pack against us? When she tried to steal Taiin away from me?" His hackles rose out of anger, teeth baring. He snorted and turned his head away from her muttering. "See what you leave me to deal with..." though the words were not intended for Firejade. "What if he'd been taken?"

[Firejade]

There was a reason she was here… Alsana knew that much, though the deity was a little hesitant to actually declare such things to her followers, the female included. Yet… it was not often that things happened accidentally. The female contemplated that over the months, but made no visible mention of her thoughts just yet. He needed a safe place to rest.. a place that would not scheme, not hide, nor lash back out at him. She could provide that.

Thus, as he lashed out at her, she stayed quiet and measured her own emotions as she sensed them, never shrinking nor raising up to lash at him. Instead, she stayed submissive, but not cowering as she listened to his words, whether intended for her or not.

There was –something- about his frustration, his angst and anxiety that struck her. Who was he actually talking to? The female had become so used to the ‘easy’ way of getting answers that this male posed a new challenge for her. For some reason, she did not even have to attempt to use her gift to know that it would be rebuffed. She remembered that much from the previous session they had had.

“You still stand, and he is still here, my Lord. You obviously did not need my help just yet, or you would have sought it, as you have now. Look not at the ‘what if’s’, my Lord, for they will only lead you astray from what you could be. If you would like me to stay closer to you, you have but to ask.” she spoke, her voice never rising, but instead staying soft as the downy feathers that had begun to fluff her wings.

However, here she made a small move. She rose and walked a step closer to him, her posture still submissive as she sat down beside him.

“Who are you truly angry with, my Lord?”

~Firejade

[Howl]

She took it all gracefully. Had he not been so angry, had he paused to think about the situation, he might have been impressed. But instead he fumed silently as she took a seat next to him. He might have tried to explain to her that as a leader, no matter who's fault something was, it was his responsiblity to take the blame for it. The only thing was, it really was his fault. "The one you serve." The words were dark and scornful, anger covering shame... did a Coven wolf self-pity? There was shame and cowardice... but, pity? She was like a personal therapist: a complete stranger inserting herself deftly into the crevases of his innermost feelings (even without her ability at that). "I screwed up." It seemed he was talking more to himself than to her, but his eyes suddenly wheeled on her and took her in directly. "Is that what you wanted to hear?" What did he know about what she wanted? It seemed, she only wanted to be part of the Coven... that in itself should be enough, right? "Tell me, Firejade... is this pack's reputation something worth doing anything for? Anything for you to be a part of it?" Though it was a question, he spoke it more like a statement. "Do you even know what type of wolf you serve?" He had failed at every major goal he'd ever set out to achieve and, thus far, at every venture in parenting that had come his way. Did Firejade realize she had sworn loyalty to a wolf whose plans almost always backfired? To a wolf whose selfishness killed an alpha and caused a war? To a wolf who loved the Coven so dearly he was trapped by it?

[Firejade]

Anger laced his eyes as he looked back at her, yet even still, the female kept her composure, letting him vent. There was a lot in there, and she was sure he was not done pouring onto her… yet her shoulders were broad enough to bear it. She might have been a clever one with a wit as sleek as her fur, but she had a heart underneath, and she also had an unshaking bond to her word. He could attack her right now and she would not betray it.

“Is that what you wanted to say, my Lord? Was it you that was in the error, or were you doing what you thought was best?” she asked before he continued, never answering one of his questions with an actual answer. Questions always worked better, as it kept the conversation on the other, instead of about one’s self.

His next questions were a bit harder to answer the same way, however. He may not have been playing his game, but he was beginning to move his back-row pieces. Suddenly, he seemed a lot smaller than he was the day she met him. He did not strike her as being as ‘sure’ of himself anymore. What was the actual bee in the bonnet here?

“My Lord, the pack’s reputation means little any longer, for they are not who I serve, are they? I gave you and you alone my oath. Thus, in truth, it is my own reputation I keep, and I will not be known as a betrayer or a backstabber.” she responded, keeping her voice ever quiet, though she let slip a small thread of genuine concern into her features as she looked at him with his next question.

“What type of wolf do I serve, my Lord? I see a troubled soul who works to bear his own weight in a world that only seems to be getting more complex. I see a wolf who has his heart in the right place for a leader, a father who seems to know when to listen and when to ignore the cries of his pups… I see that you are also feeling uncertain.” she finished, moving a step closer as she raised her gaze just a bit, so that her eyes could actually see his own without moving her head from its submissive posture.

~Firejade

[Howl]

His anger subsided at her words. Was what he'd done been best? He couldn't say he'd have changed everything if he had the chance to do it over, but there were mistakes he wished he could avoid, problems he could have handled differently. How could he give up knowing he'd loved Lithium? Would he, if he had the chance, turn away that day on the delta? Would she die before he knew her rejection? "I don't think I ever paused to consider what was best," he said, his voice quieting. It was then that he saw her close the distance between them and he was suddenly fully aware of her presence. He felt terribly manipulated, whether there was any truth in this or not. His brow furrowed and he felt the gentle ebb of his entrop flow through the hairs of his fur. What happened just now? Whether it was her words, or something more, he couldn't be sure. "A father?" He laughed slightly at this. She couldn't possibly mean the word literally, could she? She had never met Taiin... and she'd been away while Salem grew and Eido concieved. It was a metaphorical sense of the word, he figured, from their earlier conversation. But the irony was obvious. "A father who causes a war over a pup he doesn't have the sense to send back to it's mother... " He scoffed. Saphiice would surely be back for Taiin again, and Howl was sure more blood was to be spilled soon enough. "A betrayer, you say?" Howl questioned, taking a step away from her. "What about a murderer?"

[Firejade]

At the very least, she had calmed him down. She had made him actually think instead of speak. Jade could recognize the thinker’s look as it crossed his face, as he looked inside for a moment before he spoke. However, the moment he spoke, then furrowed his brow, she felt the familiar static-y feel rush back into her, muddying her thoughts for a moment or two as she refocused around this newfound feeling.

His laughter brought her gaze up unexpectedly, and then back down almost immediately as he scoffed at her. However, she was unfazed by his bitter words, instead taking her time to formulate her response.

“Does the pup have no say in the matter, Howl? Somehow I find myself believing that Taiin is older than you let on. If I am correct, he would probably have a mind and choices of his own, wouldn’t he? Let him make them. Pups make mistakes. It is your responsibility to be there if he falls, as that is what a father is for. You also should keep his best interest at heart.”

Then, she fell silent at his final questions, with his stepping away from her. He was distancing himself from her.. was it that he grew warier of her, despite her making no move against him?

“My Lord.. I have sworn to follow your command alone, however, I will not take another’s life on an idle whim. I will not betray my word, but I will not take another’s life unless you could prove to me it was necessary. There is always another way. After all, any wolf is another’s mate, brother, sister, or pup, would you not agree? See other wolves as you see your own pup and you may yet grow to be a wise leader.”

~Firejade

[Howl]

She had not caught the meaning of his words, though her answer had its own meaning sure enough. But, she was sickeningly innocent. To value all lives equally was just as distasteful to Howl as thinking Alsana was kind. "You are naiive," He said finally, shaking his head at her. "No life is equal to another. It's the very fact that each is different that makes someone you love close to you. It's sickening to think that way." He spared her no words. If she truly wanted to follow him as she swore, as she continually reassured her, he didn't plan to make it easy and he didn't plan to hide the path he intended to lead her down. "Would you save another while your own pup died? I think not," said finally. "There is nothing wise about being afraid to sin. Sin is necessary to bring change... and that is something I plan on happening." It seemed, in only a few short moments, Howl had gotten his second wind. Though, the hurt he felt was still there, Howl waas remembering why exactly he was fighting Saphiice. Did the fact that Taiin was a passive observer change anything? Did that fact Howl was unsure whether Taiin wanted to remain with the Coven null everything he wanted to achieve? There was more than just Taiin to think of now. "You act like everything is so simple... Saphiice believes I kidnapped the boy. It's his responsibility to tell her he came here freely, not mine." Howl was positively maniacle. Though his words were angry, he seemed almost to be laughing at them. "It's my damned fault really that Lithium's not here to sort this mess out..." the words were blurted before he could silence himself. Suddenly, his voice cut off and his face was blank, eyes gazing blankly at the ground before him in sheer shock at his own stupidity.

[Firejade]

She only had to shake her head at the male before her. She may have given him her loyalty, but she was not about to let him sway her views simply because he was jaded. Instead, she rose up a bit to look at him just below his muzzle, allowing her gaze to almost meet his own.

“My Lord, I am afraid that we will have to agree to disagree on that matter. It could just as easily be you who can be slain, as opposed to another. Life is sacred, and should be looked at like such. Perhaps you are simply jaded. Yes, each life is different, but that does not make any life any less special. In fact, it is those differences that makes each one just as special as the last, for each is just like a cloud. Yes, there may be many in the sky, but how many look exactly alike, Howl? How many are –exactly- the same?” she spoke, shaking some dew from her fur.

She stood, shaking a bit of dew from her fur as she rose to his elevating speech, though still keeping herself in a submissive posture.

“Then what is so complicated, Howl? Tell Taiin to tell her. No lives have to be lost because he is hesitant with his tongue. She is his mother, is she not? If so, there is little reason why he cannot be a grown wolf and tell her himself. He just needs a father to give him a gentle push. Are you that father, or is he to seek that father elsewhere?” she responded, ever quietly.

His next words made her shake her head at him before she almost instinctively nuzzled him compassionately.

“My Lord… Lithium may not be here to sort this mess out, but you are. You also knew Lithium. What would Lithium do? What is the –right- thing to do right now?”

With that, she fell quiet.

~Firejade

[Howl]

"A little push?" Howl had already given Taiin the chance he needed. He's practically thrown the boy between his father and his brother. Had he not told Taiin to choose between Rayden and the Coven? He'd told him to make it clear to Ray about the situation? But what had come of that? Nothing. She was an idealist. A creature that clung to life like it was something sacred and to be cheerished. Howl couldn't deny that each life was different, but he didn't believe in what she was saying. Being special didn't mean that any life was more worth saving either. For now though, he wouldn't argue the matter. It seemed she'd accepted the fact that they wouldn't agree on the matter and there wasn't anything to be gained from convincing her otherwise. He couldn't help but think over her words silently though. He was just as likely? If anything, he was more likely. He had more enemies, domestic and foreign, than most others did. It didn't change the fact that he would kill whoever got in his way though, either. There was a touch and he recoiled from her. "There is no one who could ever replace her," he thought, looking away from Jade. Surprisingly, he wasn't angry with her. Being from outside the Coven, it didn't him that she was at least compassionate; however, he couldn't afford another heartache. As long as she was his vassel, there wouldn't be any complicated emotional ties. It would be nothing like Lithium and he. And at least, he would never have to face the rejection that both Eidolon and his dear Aeno had given him. "Don't," he said softly taking another step from her, his eyes avoiding her. It was strange to think that he, the alpha, was afraid to meet this strangers gaze. But it was true. "It doesn't matter what the right thing is... " Howl said, his head lifting finally as he turned toward her. "... only what's best."

[Firejade]

The female cocked her head at him as he shied away from her, almost as if she had burnt him. What had happened? All she had done was show a small bit of compassion, and he flinched that much? Suddenly, the chess pieces were beginning to tell a whole different story. The little Aienlii was more scarred than he looked. There was something that happened with him and this “Lithium” that he felt abandoned him, wasn’t there? Yet, despite her tossing a glance in his direction and debating “searching” him, she listened to the strange feeling in her mind and decided against even trying.

He was suspicious, and his actions already showed his unease with her, and it would be a fool’s errand to press the issue by attempting to enter his mind. After all, if she failed, then all her work thus far was for naught. Instead, she simply shook her head and resorted to doing things the “hard” way.

“Howl, what are you so afraid of? You act as if I were a bear and you were but a pup. I offer you a small touch of compassion and you shy as if I exposed my fangs. Have you been so hurt by others that you feel threatened by even the simplest act of kindness?” the female said, her voice rising a touch more, but still quiet. Her gaze, however, was actually raised to meet his own should he look back at her, despite her submissive posture everywhere else. Though, if he met her soft green eyes, he would quickly be able to tell there was not the hardness of anger, but instead the soft glitter of concern.

However, just as quickly as she spoke, she realized what she had just said and who she said it to, and if he looked at her, she would look down and away. “Forgive me if I offended.. that was beyond my station, my Lord.” the female spoke, her voice retreating down to the quiet tones it held as her eyes snuck out from their hiding, coming to look back at him, though not meeting his gaze as it turned.

“If I may offer my advice, Howl.. most of the time, the straightest course is the best one to follow. A father must set an example for his brood, must he not? Are you living the way you want Taiin to?”

~Firejade

[Howl]

She spoke, but was quick to apologize. At least there was still one wolf who observed the formalities of rank. He'd never been one to be so courteous to his superiors, always speaking out of turn and openly criticizing leadership. He'd never actually planned to hold a rank himself, and that may have been perhaps the reason he wasn't concerned about his behavior. A demotion meant little to him... It was hard to aspire for high ranks when you were born with nothing (for indeed he had nothing except a sister who far exceeded him in every way). Perhaps, this was also the reason he was so lenient to others who acted the way he used to. "Yes," he said softly, pausing and then adding almost as if it were an afterthought, "indeed, it was." And his tone turned dreadfully serious. He was so ashamed of spilling his guts to this girl. Who was she to be carrying his thoughts, his feelings? There was nothing of true value in her, was there? Other than the obvious use he had for her, anyway. Again. Taiin. He'd thought he'd done everything for the boy, the as more time passed, Howl slowly began to realize that he couldn't be so narrowminded. His actions had to be not only for Taiin, but for the entire pack. And furthermore, if he intended to act for the entire pack in the future, it was necessary to ensure his own placement in the pack for the future. So, did it mean that in the end, his actions weren't for Taiin at all, but for himself? "A contradiction really," Howl said, finally a slight smile creeping to his face, but it wasn't a smile of complete happiness. It was a smile of acceptance, of hopelessness, and even perhaps of enjoyment that in the end he'd do whatever he pleased, whether it was the right thing to do or not. "Leading by example... pah!" He scoffed, a laugh intermingling with his voice. "A peaceful wolf is bound to be slaughtered if they never learn to fight. But, can you truly be at peace if you're fighting? I have to do things now so that Taiin, or any of my children, will never have to. Perhaps though, it's in vain..." He paused, sighing, "... since one day they too might have to choose to sacrifice for their own children. Fighting is what the Coven is good at. It's what we're born for, chosen for. If we can't do what Aslana demands of us, there's no point in being alive at all."