I'm Sorry, ...

[Vérčne Kzlotchyna]

Notes: I recommend you to listen to "October" by Evanescence while reading this. Sankyuu!!!

I'm Sorry

[Kazuki’s POV]

I was playing my Japanese harp when I heard some footsteps coming to me. I released one of the strings to where the sound came from. “Who’s there?!” I yelled, but I didn’t turn my head.

“Juubei...Kakei Juubei...” that person said. I was quite surprised, I’ve never met him before. I ran to him happily with my pink kimono.

“You’re the heir of the Kakei family!” I said and I smiled. “Gomen ne, I thought you were a stranger, hehehe...” Eh? He’s blushing? “Yeah...” he said slowly. “Hey, that means you’ll be my private doctor!” I said happily. After that, silence fell among us. “Oh, by the way, nice to meet you. I’m Kazuki,” I broke the silence.

“Kazuki?! So the heir of the Fuuchouin family is a girl?!” he was surprised. I laughed.

“No, I’m a boy!” I said.

“What?!?!?!” his eyes were almost popped out. I still laughed but I was blushed at the same time.

“It’s the Fuuchouin family rules. The heir, no matter if they’re a boy or a girl, must wear kimonos and play Japanese harp until they’re 15 years old,” I said and a huge sweatdrop fell on my face.

It’s the first day I met Juubei, and I still don’t forget about it. A few days later when Juubei came to my house, we walked together to a river. When I was looking at the beautiful flowers, a poisonous insect bit me. “Ouch!” I yelled.

“What’s wrong, Kazuki?!” Juubei said, oh so sweet.

“An insect bit me,” I said.

“Let me take a look,” he said and grabbed my arm. Then he cured it with his needle. It hurt me a bit, but soon the pain was gone. “The Kakei’s technique is awesome!” I said.

“Of course! We’ve been protecting the Fuuchouins as their private doctors for 500 years!” Juubei said. He’s more talkative then when we first met each other. I love it when he does.

I smiled. “Yeah, you’re right. Thanks...”

“Don’t worry, Kazuki. I was born to protect you!” Juubei said, excited. I laughed. “What’s so funny?” he asked.

“You’re so old-fashioned, Juubei...” I said, still laughing. He looked confused, but then he laughed, too. I walked to him but I was tripped and I fell on top of him. “Ouch! Gomen ne, Juubei!” I said.

“That’s okay, Kazuki. Daijoubu?” he said.

“Yeah,” I tried to stand up. After I did, I smiled at Juubei and saw his face turning red. He’s so cute when he does. I...I think I love him. Well, I mean, he’s good-looking, he’s loyal (VERY loyal), and he’s really nice. I...love you, Juubei...

[End POV]

[Normal POV]

A few days and months and years later in Mugenjou...

“Ka...Kazuki,” Juubei said.

“Yes?” Kazuki turned his head beautifully.

Juubei blushed and words didn’t come out from his mouth for a while, but then he hugged Kazuki.

“JUUBEI?!” Kazuki was blushing and he sure was shocked.

“I...I’m sorry, Kazuki. But I...I...I love....you...” Juubei said uncomfortably.

“You do?!” Kazuki asked.

“Yeah...”

“JUUBEI!” Kazuki hugged Juubei even tighter. “I...love you, too...Juubei,” and then they let go of each other and Juubei kissed Kazuki's cheek.

They become couples for days, months, and years, and they were already couples when they joined Volts but nobody knows about it. They lived happily, until one day when Kazuki, Shido, and Ginji left Mugenjou.

“What should I say to Juubei?” Kazuki asked himself when he was about to leave. He got an idea and he wrote a note on a piece of paper.

Juubei,

I’ll leave Mugenjou. I’m really sorry, Juubei.

Yours,

Kazuki.

“I think this is enough,” Kazuki said and put it on a table for Juubei to read. But when he was about to leave Mugenjou, Juubei came.

“KAZUKI!!!” he yelled while still running.

“Juubei?” Kazuki turned his back.

“Do you REALLY have to go?”

“Yes, Juubei. I already made my decision.”

“But, why? How about our love?”

“I just feel like I can’t stay here anymore. I’m still going to leave. I’m really sorry, Juubei...” and without saying anything more, Kazuki left Mugenjou. He left Juubei...left his first love...

One day at somewhere near Honky Tonk...

It was raining hard. “Oh great, I didn’t bring an umbrella!” Kazuki said, irritated. So he wore a jacket and he put on the hood. (A/N: Never see Kazuki wearing a jacket? Just imagine it hahaha) It was really cold. When Kazuki walked, he saw Honky Tonk. “Maybe I could be in there for a while,” he said to himself. And he walked towards Honky Tonk.

He opened the door and saw Ban and Ginji. “Hey Ban, Ginji-san,” he said and smiled.

“Ah! Kazu-chan!” Ginji said happily. But Kazuki felt dizzy. And when he took one step forward, he fell and he slipped to unconsciousness.

After a few moments, he heard some voices. “Kazu-chan? Wake up, Kazu-chan,”

“Ginji-san?” Kazuki opened his eyes slowly.

“Thank God you’re alright, Kazu-chan!” Ginji said, relieved.

“Oi, Ginji.”

“Nani, Ban-chan?”

“Can you leave us for a minute?”

“Uhm...okay,” and then Ginji left.

“Ban, where am I? What happened?” Kazuki asked, confused.

“You’re in the hospital. You walked to us and you collapsed,” Ban said.

“So...”

And then Ban placed a quick kiss on Kazuki’s lips. Kazuki was shocked. “B-ban???”

“Look, Kazuki. I really love you...”

“I don’t know, Ban...”

“You still have feelings to Juubei, don’t you?”

“Actually, no. I just consider him as my bestfriend now,”

“So...” Ban said and silence fell among them for a few moments.

“Guess what?”

“What?”

“I think I love you too, Ban...” and then they kissed each other.

[Kazuki’s POV]
After a few moments, I realized that what I did was wrong. I broke the kiss and pushed him away. I felt my eyes were full of water. “I’m...sorry...Ban...” I said and tears fell to my cheeks. Ban looked confused.

“But...I thought you love me...” he said in a sad tone.

“I thought so too...but I was clearly wrong. I made a decision too fast and I regret it-” Ban didn’t give me a chance to finish my words.

“You really should get some rest.” He said shortly and walked out through the door.

I buried my head in my pillow and cried my heart out quietly. “That was my first kiss...”

[End of POV]

At the same time, outside the room...

Ban hit the wall with his fist. “Damn, that was my first kiss...” he said while he was blushing, “that itomaki, so he just played with me?!?! Why he didn’t understand that he hurt my feelings so bad?”

A few days later after Kazuki recovered...

“I can’t believe my feet took me to this place again,” Kazuki said and looked to the mysterious Mugenjou. Suddenly he saw a figure running to him. Is it...?

“Kazuki! You’re back!” that figure said. Kazuki noticed his voice.

“Juubei?” he said confusedly. Then he stepped inside Mugenjou and he felt Juubei’s arms around his body. “Ch-chotto matte!” he said.

“I thought I never going to see you again,” Juubei said, still hugging Kazuki.

Kazuki pushed Juubei slowly and blushed. But then Juubei dragged Kazuki to somewhere dark. Kazuki doesn’t even know that place so he shivered a bit. “Juu...Juubei...where are you taking me?” Kazuki said but Juubei didn’t say anything.

“What are you going to do with me?” Kazuki asked again.

Then Juubei pinned him on the wall. “You’re mine...” he said and kissed Kazuki on the lips.

Kazuki was shocked and he pushed Juubei as hard as he could. Juubei stepped backward. Tears started to fall on Kazuki’s cheek.

“Why? Why did you push me?” Juubei asked.

“I can’t do it anymore with you Juubei...” Kazuki said.

Juubei walked to Kazuki again and hit the wall with his fists and he almost cried.

“Is there someone else now...Kazuki?”

Kazuki looked at his feet, still crying, and nodded. Juubei stepped backward [1] and he said, “I don’t want this! What about the story we started to write since we’re kids? Are you just going to end it this way?!”

“I...just can’t...Juubei...I’m sorry...” Kazuki said and hugged Juubei, but Juubei pushed Kazuki softly.

“No matter what I do you can’t be mine. You can’t just hug me like that,” he said, not looking at Kazuki.

“It’s not a hug from your lover, it’s a hug from your best friend, Juubei...” Kazuki said.

“For me, that was a hug from stranger,” Juubei said and he walked away. Kazuki only stared at Juubei walking away, still crying, but he didn’t say anything or even tried to stop Juubei. He fell on his knees and he felt sorry for himself.

After he could stop himself from crying, he stood up, wiped his tears away, and walked out of Mugenjou like nothing happened. Once again, his feet took him to Honky Tonk. He had to leave his Protector, his guardian angel, his personal doctor, his best friend...

He stood in front of the door to Honky Tonk, thinking if it was a good idea if he came in. But then he sighed and walked in.

“Welcome!” Natsumi’s usual greeting was replied by a simple smile by Kazuki.

“Ah, Kazu-chan!” Tare-Ginji said happily.

“Hello, Ginji-san. Where’s Ban?”

“Well, he went out. He said he was going to the park. Not sure what he’s going to do though...what’s with Ban-chan?”

“Ah, nothing. Arigato, Ginji-san,” Kazuki said headed to the door.

“Wait, Kazuki! Aren’t you going to order your latte like usual?” Poru said.

Kazuki shook his head. “No thanks. I just had one,” he lied, but Poru believed him though.

Kazuki walked to the park and looked for Ban. It took some time, but at last Kazuki found him. “Ban!!!” He yelled. Ban turned his head, and Kazuki saw him with tears falling down his cheeks even Ban wiped it off quickly.

“What do you want, Itomaki.” Ban said shortly and turned his back on Kazuki.

Kazuki hugged Ban from his back and cried while he rested his head on Ban’s shoulder. “Ban...I’m sorry...about that kiss...” he said but Ban didn’t response.

“I’m sorry for being such an idiot...I’m sorry for being a slut...I’m sorry for...everything I did to you...” Kazuki continued. When he noticed Ban didn’t say anything, he felt so guilty. Then he let go of Ban. He waited for Ban to do something, then Ban stood up and walked away, didn’t even say good bye. Again, he fell on his knees and cried. But then he realized that it’s not what someone does if they love another person. He wiped his tears away and followed Ban.

‘I have to tell him one more time that I love him...’ he thought while he was running, looking for Ban.

Then he saw Ban, in the middle of the street, crossing the road but he was looking to the ground. When Kazuki looked at Ban’s left, there was a car who was heading to Ban.

Kazuki ran as fast as he could, then he pushed Ban. But when he did, he couldn’t even manage to save himself. He turned his head to left, and suddenly the only thing he saw was darkness, with no light guiding him.

Ban ran to Kazuki, terribly shocked. He held Kazuki in his arms and was about to take Kazuki to the hospital when Kazuki opened his eyes slowly. “Ban...?” he said.

“Kazuki...I...didn’t deserve that...” Ban said and cried.

“Yes you do...Look...what I always wanted to tell you is that...I...really really...love you...from the bottom of my heart...” Kazuki said slowly and smiled.

“I...I love you too...”

Kazuki touched Ban’s cheek. “Ban...I love you...and I’m sorry...”

“You don’t need to be sorry, Kazuki! You really shouldn’t talk! I’ll take you to the hospital!” Ban said.

“I don’t think...there’s time...I hope we could be together forever Ban...” then Kazuki’s hand which was touching Ban’s cheek dropped, and Ban noticed that Kazuki wasn’t there anymore.

I can't run anymore,
I give myself to you,
I'm sorry,
I'm sorry,
In all my bitterness,
I ignored,
All that's real and true,
All I need is you,
When night falls on me,
I'll not close my eyes,
I'm too alive,
And you're too strong,
I can't lie anymore,
I fall down before you,
I'm sorry,
I'm sorry.

-Owari-

Notes: Huhuhu...Sad isn’t it? I even cried when I made this hahaha!!! Oh and lyrics was taken from “October” by Evanescence. I really love that song! And reviews, minna-san!

[1] Please don’t blame me because I didn’t even know why I made Juubei keep walking backwards and forwards hehehe XD

[Shadow]

*sob* wahh! so sad! I like it! ^____^

[Vérčne Kzlotchyna]

Thanks! LOL Glad to hear that

[Shadow]

welcome ^_^
btw.. just wondering.. well, Kazuki always ends up being hurt or something like that

[Vérčne Kzlotchyna]

LOL he does??? I never noticed that before...